The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

[Tio_Narratore]

and you get a pile of things that go together but are slightly wet.

I put in twenty paint swatches in various shades of violet.

and you get a very monochomatic end of a rainbow.

I put in a loaded pallette...

 

[Handley_Page]

and you get a very monochomatic end of a rainbow.

I put in a loaded pallette...

which goes "bang" as it dries out.


I put in a transmitting valve type 4CX250B.

 

[vrosej10]

which goes "bang" as it dries out.


I put in a transmitting valve type 4CX250B.

and after I screw it into my ear, you get a transmission of my thought.

I put in a sexual dictionary so you can understand what I am thinking about.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and after I screw it into my ear, you get a transmission of my thought.

I put in a sexual dictionary so you can understand what I am thinking about.

and the Marquis blushes when he listens in.

I put in a graduate seminar in the Anthropology of Sex...

 

[vrosej10]

and the Marquis blushes when he listens in.

I put in a graduate seminar in the Anthropology of Sex...

and I get to be belle of the ball (I get very high marks in the area of sexuality) so you get a of the cheek.


I put in a dress suitable for cotillion or debutante balls.

 

[Handley_Page]

and I get to be belle of the ball (I get very high marks in the area of sexuality) so you get a of the cheek.


I put in a dress suitable for cotillion or debutante balls.

and you step on your petticoat, trip and land badly.


I put in a first aid kit

 

[vrosej10]

and you step on your petticoat, trip and land badly.


I put in a first aid kit

And you wind up covered with bandaids and surgical tape.

I put in a tub of depilatory wax to take off the last of yur body hair after you rip off the above.

 

[Handley_Page]

And you wind up covered with bandaids and surgical tape.

I put in a tub of depilatory wax to take off the last of yur body hair after you rip off the above.

and the pain-killers don't


I put in a Pozi No 4 screw-driver

 

[erotic_bubbles]

and the pain-killers don't


I put in a Pozi No 4 screw-driver

And you get a long returns line-up at a hardware store.

I insert a coral silk robe.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

And you get a long returns line-up at a hardware store.

I insert a coral silk robe.

and it slides sensuously from your shoulders to drop to the white sands of St. George's Island Beach.

I step out the back door of the Blue Parrot and glimpse you in the rising of the sun...


...and a friendly welcome to a fellow Canuck: bonjour, eh?

 

[vrosej10]

and it slides sensuously from your shoulders to drop to the white sands of St. George's Island Beach.

I step out the back door of the Blue Parrot and glimpse you in the rising of the sun...


...and a friendly welcome to a fellow Canuck: bonjour, eh?

Then pop wood through you accidently open fly and you get arrested.


I put in some lipstick to help you make friends in prison.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Then pop wood through you accidently open fly and you get arrested.


I put in some lipstick to help you make friends in prison.

and my cellmate steals it because he loves the shade.

I put in conjugal rights for you and the whole of cell block D...

 

[Handley_Page]

and my cellmate steals it because he loves the shade.

I put in conjugal rights for you and the whole of cell block D...

but not at the same time.


I put in a revised schedule which excludes Sundays and Bank Holidays.

 

[vrosej10]

but not at the same time.


I put in a revised schedule which excludes Sundays and Bank Holidays.

and you still get shaggers back and crabs.

I put in 'The Little Book of Crab Training Tricks".

 

[pathology_liz]

and you still get shaggers back and crabs.

I put in 'The Little Book of Crab Training Tricks".

and the ungrateful Crab sods off and joins the circus

I put in a full, ceremonial, Japanese tea serving

 

[vrosej10]

and the ungrateful Crab sods off and joins the circus

I put in a full, ceremonial, Japanese tea serving

And you get a geisha giving you the eye.

I put in a carved camphor box.

 

[Handley_Page]

And you get a geisha giving you the eye.

I put in a carved camphor box.

it makes the eyes weep a bit.


I put in a box of tissues

 

[vrosej10]

it makes the eyes weep a bit.


I put in a box of tissues

Which you take to your room and use discreetly, returning the empty box.

i put is some really good vitamins to help you recover.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Which you take to your room and use discreetly, returning the empty box.

i put is some really good vitamins to help you recover.

and you OD on Vitamin C, it chelates all your copper, and you urinate green.

I put in a surprised technician at the med lab...

 

[Handley_Page]

and you OD on Vitamin C, it chelates all your copper, and you urinate green.

I put in a surprised technician at the med lab...

She didn't realise HE was pregnant


I put in a book of Helpful Advice

 

[Tio_Narratore]

She didn't realise HE was pregnant


I put in a book of Helpful Advice

and it's written in yet-to-be-deciphered Harrapan script.

I put in an intergalactic translation biodevice...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and it's written in yet-to-be-deciphered Harrapan script.

I put in an intergalactic translation biodevice...

and, you get Babs in your PM box.

I put in a lunchbox.

 

[vrosej10]

and, you get Babs in your PM box.

I put in a lunchbox.

and inside it you find a severed hand, which gives you the finger and crawls away.

I put in a cut lunch in zip lock bags.

 

[vixenfurry]

and inside it you find a severed hand, which gives you the finger and crawls away.

I put in a cut lunch in zip lock bags.

and you get back the lunch but not the zip lock bags. *plays with the zippy bags in the corner* lol

i put in a random neko. =^.^=

 

[vrosej10]

and you get back the lunch but not the zip lock bags. *plays with the zippy bags in the corner* lol

i put in a random neko. =^.^=

(had to google neko) and you get a women who does a really good job when she runs her fingernails down your back.


I put in the recipe for a hot sex partner (ingredients not included)