The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

[TE999]

and you get a brand new Milwaukee Hole Shooter

I put in a 180* spray nozzle

And you get back a drive belt for a Cub Cadet lawn tractor.

I put in a 25 foot coil of soaker hose...

 

[Austin8]

And you get back a drive belt for a Cub Cadet lawn tractor.

I put in a 25 foot coil of soaker hose...

and you get 25 yards of hardwood mulch (delivered)

i put in a Trailing Lantana

 

[TE999]

and you get 25 yards of hardwood mulch (delivered)

i put in a Trailing Lantana

And you get back a Confederate Jasmine.

I put in a cactus dish garden...

 

[Handley_Page]

And you get back a Confederate Jasmine.

I put in a cactus dish garden...

and you get a prickly pear.


I put in a Japanese condom.

 

[Noor]

and you get a prickly pear.


I put in a Japanese condom.

and you get a hello kitty vibe

I put in a pink gingham corset

 

[Austin8]

and you get a hello kitty vibe

I put in a pink gingham corset

and you get neon pink fishnet stockings

I put in a spud wrench

(morning Noor)

 

[Noor]

and you get neon pink fishnet stockings

I put in a spud wrench

(morning Noor)

And you get the rigid tool calendar with Apollonia in it.

I put in a little red corvette

Hi A8!

 

[Austin8]

And you get the rigid tool calendar with Apollonia in it.

I put in a little red corvette

Hi A8!

(sweet!)

and *you* become the princess

I put in a purple g-string

(call me redneck. Noor)

 

[Noor]

(sweet!)

and *you* become the princess

I put in a purple g-string

(call me redneck. Noor)

and you get pink pasties

I put in chicken cutlets

But do you really have a redneck?

 

[Austin8]

and you get pink pasties

I put in chicken cutlets

But do you really have a redneck?

and you get a bread pan

I put in a non DOT ground shipment

no it's brown

 

[Handley_Page]

and you get a bread pan

I put in a non DOT ground shipment

and it stays in its case, sulking at gravity. [ Eh ? ]


I put in an old set of tyres for an Aston Martin "Vantage"

 

[Austin8]

and it stays in its case, sulking at gravity. [ Eh ? ]


I put in an old set of tyres for an Aston Martin "Vantage"

and you get scolded by ' Q '

I put in a zippo lighter

(D O T= Dept. of Transportation)

(non D O T= non-hazardous shipment)

 

[Handley_Page]

and you get scolded by ' Q '

I put in a zippo lighter

And the Circus comes to town

[Zippo's Circus used to tour the country ]


I put in a ticket to Michael Jackson's funeral thing.

 

[Austin8]

And the Circus comes to town

[Zippo's Circus used to tour the country ]


I put in a ticket to Michael Jackson's funeral thing.

and you get a note that it has been sold on Ebay

I put in a Dr. Pepper watch

 

[Noor]

and you get a note that it has been sold on Ebay

I put in a Dr. Pepper watch

and you get a Birch beer

I put in a Vernors

 

[Austin8]

and you get a Birch beer

I put in a Vernors

and you get a soda jerk

I put in a Hansens Root beer

(Hey Noor get my pm?)

(the Wiki was nice... thanks)

 

[Noor]

and you get a soda jerk

I put in a Hansens Root beer

(Hey Noor get my pm?)

(the Wiki was nice... thanks)

and you get a float

(yes, thank you )

I put in a construction worker who says "I don't care, I am getting paid"

 

[Austin8]

and you get a float

(yes, thank you )

I put in a construction worker who says "I don't care, I am getting paid"

and you get me (A landscaping contractor who cares!)

I put in a sasparilla

 

[Handley_Page]

I put in a sasparilla

and you get a glass of warm milk.

I put in a 5 foot micrometer.

 

[Austin8]

and you get a glass of warm milk.

I put in a 5 foot micrometer.

and you get a trailer to haul it with

I put in some rain gear

 

[Handley_Page]

I put in some rain gear

and you get a very dry spell.

I put in a 13inch, 5J wheel

 

[Austin8]

and you get a very dry spell.

I put in a 13inch, 5J wheel

and yo get a Jay Zee cd

Iput in a birthday wish list

 

[sadangel]

and yo get a Jay Zee cd

Iput in a birthday wish list

and you get a quarter.

I put in a deck of cards....

 

[Austin8]

and you get a quarter.

I put in a deck of cards....

and you get a quick game of hearts

I put in a corn husk

 

[kimbalee]

and yo get a Jay Zee cd

Iput in a birthday wish list

...and you get back a copy of "Birthday Sex" by Jeremih. (well, it was at the top of the list, wasn't it?)

I put in a sunflower...

well, crap. too slow.