Porn Ruins Everything

[Djmac1031]

We all have dirty minds. Otherwise we probably wouldn't be here, right?

Anyway, posted these on @EmilyMiller 's thread but figured id start this for fun.

Im sure there's things you see or hear all the time that are innocent enough, and yet that dirty mind twists and perverts it.

I'll share two i spotted just today that made my immature inner self giggle.

https://imgur.com/a/dK4LVrA

 

[Djmac1031]

https://imgur.com/a/jeYB2uW

 

[EmilyMiller]

Can I do my joke about Taylor Swift’s tight end again?

 

[Djmac1031]

Can I do my joke about Taylor Swift’s tight end again?

Oh absolutely.

 

[SimonDoom]

Depends on your point of view.

Couldn't you say with equal conviction that porn ENHANCES everything?

 

[jhealy55]

To be fair though- It has done wonders for recruiting pizza delivery drivers

 

[Zootonius]

Can I do my joke about Taylor Swift’s tight end again?

Back when Georgia Frontiere owned the LA Rams, a comedienne quipped, "To think! She owns every one of those tight ends!"

 

[samhasstories]

https://www.tiktok.com/video/7269544549490576686

 

[CyranoJ]

Couldn't find the infamous "shopping trip" headline (if you know, you know) but these are some other faves.

 

[Djmac1031]

Couldn't find the infamous "shopping trip" headline (if you know, you know) but these are some other faves.

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Why do I get the feeling that last one was intentional?

 

[TarnishedPenny]

Okay, not entirely on-track, but so delightful!

 

[lovecraft68]

Whenever I see an ATM sign I think ass to mouth.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Whenever I see an ATM sign I think ass to mouth.

We have a system at work called CIM - always cracks me up.

 

[lovecraft68]

We have a system at work called CIM - always cracks me up.

ON escort sites they use acronyms to describe their services-including the one you just mentioned. I kept seeing MSOG, and couldn't figure it out so looked it up "Multiple shots on goal" meaning if the client can get it up more than once during their time they can keep going.

But now I can't watch a hockey game without thinking of it.

 

[lovecraft68]

The word innuendo is an actual in u endo

I'll see my way out.

 

[Smuttyandfun]

 

[TadOverdon]

Can I do my joke about Taylor Swift’s tight end again?

 

[Kumquatqueen]

Why do I get the feeling that last one was intentional?

They're mostly UK newspapers. So they're all intentional, trust me...

My favourite article title:
"Exercising self-restraint: discouraging illicit acts of S and M in eukaryotes- J J Li et al. Cell, 1993."

S&M phases are when cells replicate their DNA, then divide. They knew.

 

[Djmac1031]

Okay, it's a bit of a stretch, sure. But I can't be the only one seeing it, right?

https://imgur.com/a/0BJHoy6

 

[EmilyMiller]

This always amuses me. Then it doesn’t take much…

 

[Djmac1031]

This always amuses me. Then it doesn’t take much…

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I've considered suing them for false advertising.

Also, to all the cute sales clerks: my sincere apologies.

 

[Codoc24]

One time, my wife was driving, and she was pulling into a parking lot. I noticed a pothole and warned her. "Watch out for that pothole."
She replied: "Well, there's two holes, so no matter which way you go, you're going to hit one of them."
My reply: "That's what she said."

We laughed so hard we were crying.

 

[EmilyMiller]

I've considered suing them for false advertising.

Really - I was thinking of a change in career

Also, to all the cute sales clerks: my sincere apologies.

Just the cute ones, right ?

Emily

 

[Djmac1031]

Just the cute ones, right ?

Hey, "cute" covers a wide range, at least for me...

 

[JJ82490]

A woman very close to me but many years my senior used to refer to getting blow out as "getting a blowjob" - killed me every time she said it