On the subject of making a good story description for your works

[Jmanchu]

So, I'm in the process of trying to get two stories posted, with more to come as they're almost finished.

One story is already beta reading phase, with someone doing a volunteer edit, which I can't wait to see when finished.

Another story, tons of views in the editor's forum so there's definitely some interest there, but no replies(Maybe the post is too long or the description of the setting is just not "erotica" enough? idk). No offers for Beta reading or editing, sadly. So, I've taken it upon myself to do the polishing myself before I publish it(still will wait a few days or a week to see if I get at least one bite for a response. Otherwise... Publishing time. Maybe.)

Anyways, onto the subject of the topic at hand: Making compelling summaries and short descriptions are not my strong points for writing story, at all. I am struggling with coming up with a well thought out descriptor for the story I'm thinking of just publishing(the one that's hanging dry in the other forum). Maybe I'm thinking too much, but I feel a good descriptor makes a big difference when it comes to making your story seem enticing enough to click out of a long list of endless stories in this site. So, I would like to know your guys' thoughts and approaches on how you come up with your story descriptions. How do you like to make sure it's inviting enough to make a reader hooked in and tempted to click?

Is it better to come up with a simplified, direct, possibly open-ended sentence for the premise? Or is a more artistic and possibly abstract approach good too? If you have a story that has "chapters," would simply listing the names of the two chapters be alright? The last one is what I've left as so far, since I've wracked my head trying to come up with a good 60-character description and failed so far. "Hero of Light, The Princess of Darkness," are the names of chapters 1 and 2 for the first upcoming part of the story to be published, respectively. It's what I have in the saved draft for the line, so far, for the Literotica story description box in the publishing section.

I've read and researched other works here and how the descriptors tie to the stories, but I just thought why not make a topic here to discuss it? What do you fine folks here think?

 

[ElectricBlue]

I think you might be over-thinking this. All you need is one short crisp sentence, it's not even a sound bite. What's the story about? You've got three seconds. It's the first thing comes into your head, surely?

 

[SimonDoom]

There have been some previous threads on this subject. I assume you are talking about the "tagline" that accompanies the story title. These are my thoughts.

1. You have a fleeting opportunity to attract readers' attention, and you should do what you can to take advantage of it. Otherwise, they'll never see your story.
2. My philosophy is that the story text is the art, and the rest is advertising. So be practical in picking the title, taglines, category, and tags. Not everybody agrees with this, of course, and they don't have to. This is my philosophy.
3. If your story title is allusive and artistic, then make your tagline more descriptive and practical so you grab the reader.
4. Between your title and your tagline, the potential reader should have some idea what the story is about, and be enticed and titillated enough to want to read the story.
5. Pick your words carefully. Use words that will be titillating to readers of that category.
6. Tease. Make the tagline a question, to which the reader will want to find out the answer. E.g., for one of my stories, "How far would she go to sell the house?"
7. Make it a sentence. Use a verb. Make it a good verb. "An interesting trip on the Tube" has no verb. I'd instead choose, "Maddie loses her top on the Tube. What to do?"
8. Research the popular tags used for the category of the story, and find out what words are popular and titillating. Use one of those words.
9. Think about what the EROTIC FOCUS of your story is. What's the most interesting and erotic thing about it? Make sure the title/tagline combo address that.

 

[Emilymcplugger]

So, I'm in the process of trying to get two stories posted, with more to come as they're almost finished.

One story is already beta reading phase, with someone doing a volunteer edit, which I can't wait to see when finished.

Another story, tons of views in the editor's forum so there's definitely some interest there, but no replies(Maybe the post is too long or the description of the setting is just not "erotica" enough? idk). No offers for Beta reading or editing, sadly. So, I've taken it upon myself to do the polishing myself before I publish it(still will wait a few days or a week to see if I get at least one bite for a response. Otherwise... Publishing time. Maybe.)

Anyways, onto the subject of the topic at hand: Making compelling summaries and short descriptions are not my strong points for writing story, at all. I am struggling with coming up with a well thought out descriptor for the story I'm thinking of just publishing(the one that's hanging dry in the other forum). Maybe I'm thinking too much, but I feel a good descriptor makes a big difference when it comes to making your story seem enticing enough to click out of a long list of endless stories in this site. So, I would like to know your guys' thoughts and approaches on how you come up with your story descriptions. How do you like to make sure it's inviting enough to make a reader hooked in and tempted to click?

Is it better to come up with a simplified, direct, possibly open-ended sentence for the premise? Or is a more artistic and possibly abstract approach good too? If you have a story that has "chapters," would simply listing the names of the two chapters be alright? The last one is what I've left as so far, since I've wracked my head trying to come up with a good 60-character description and failed so far. "Hero of Light, The Princess of Darkness," are the names of chapters 1 and 2 for the first upcoming part of the story to be published, respectively. It's what I have in the saved draft for the line, so far, for the Literotica story description box in the publishing section.

I've read and researched other works here and how the descriptors tie to the stories, but I just thought why not make a topic here to discuss it? What do you fine folks here think?

Perhaps a good way of doing this is looking at high-rated stories within the category your posting and see what pulls you in.

Often a cryptic tagline will put people off.

In the depths of the dragon kingdom, trouble brews

Would probably pull in no-one here but if you use the salaciousness of the story then that probably will.

The dragon kingdom is conquered during the tribal orgy.

Sex sells…and she sells seashells on the sea shore

 

[Jmanchu]

I think you might be over-thinking this. All you need is one short crisp sentence, it's not even a sound bite. What's the story about? You've got three seconds. It's the first thing comes into your head, surely?

See, that's my problem right there. On top of over-thinking(ie. my superpower and kryptonite) I can't summarize fo' shit, bro. The first thing in my head? Trying to keep it short and sweet? "A warring dark elf empire rises. The two main characters live on opposite sides of the conflict with very different lives at first glance. It's got romance, tragedy, demons, spirits, and other magic shit too." I don't man. I'll keep trying.

 

[Jmanchu]

There have been some previous threads on this subject. I assume you are talking about the "tagline" that accompanies the story title. These are my thoughts.

1. You have a fleeting opportunity to attract readers' attention, and you should do what you can to take advantage of it. Otherwise, they'll never see your story.
2. My philosophy is that the story text is the art, and the rest is advertising. So be practical in picking the title, taglines, category, and tags. Not everybody agrees with this, of course, and they don't have to. This is my philosophy.
3. If your story title is allusive and artistic, then make your tagline more descriptive and practical so you grab the reader.
4. Between your title and your tagline, the potential reader should have some idea what the story is about, and be enticed and titillated enough to want to read the story.
5. Pick your words carefully. Use words that will be titillating to readers of that category.
6. Tease. Make the tagline a question, to which the reader will want to find out the answer. E.g., for one of my stories, "How far would she go to sell the house?"
7. Make it a sentence. Use a verb. Make it a good verb. "An interesting trip on the Tube" has no verb. I'd instead choose, "Maddie loses her top on the Tube. What to do?"
8. Research the popular tags used for the category of the story, and find out what words are popular and titillating. Use one of those words.
9. Think about what the EROTIC FOCUS of your story is. What's the most interesting and erotic thing about it? Make sure the title/tagline combo address that.

Okay. Erotic focus... I gotcha. I'll go for the more direct approach, then, since my title is more "allusive and artistic."

 

[Jmanchu]

Perhaps a good way of doing this is looking at high-rated stories within the category your posting and see what pulls you in.

Often a cryptic tagline will put people off.

In the depths of the dragon kingdom, trouble brews

Would probably pull in no-one here but if you use the salaciousness of the story then that probably will.

The dragon kingdom is conquered during the tribal orgy.

Sex sells…and she sells seashells on the sea shore

Exactly what I've been doing. Looking at high rated stories. Doin my research.
The first example that you pointed out will put people off sounds like what I first tried to come up with. :|
So just make it salacious, tasty, and temptatious as possible. Gotcha.

 

[KeithD]

Oh, I just do it. Had nearly thirty years of doing it for news articles, though, so . . .

Lit. doesn't really give you enough character spaces to provide much--or to make you want to put a lot of effort into it.

 

[alohadave]

Often a cryptic tagline will put people off.

Then there are series that have the same vague description for each chapter/part. Unless I've read one of the chapters already, I'm not really inclined to read it blind.

 

[Emilymcplugger]

Then there are series that have the same vague description for each chapter/part. Unless I've read one of the chapters already, I'm not really inclined to read it blind.

I learnt that to my cost with ALL THE DEVILS ARE HERE.

 

[Jmanchu]

Lit. doesn't really give you enough character spaces to provide much--or to make you want to put a lot of effort into it.

This right here. My feelings exactly. Shit is a pain to come up with something good with so little room to work with, especially when there's so much going going on for each chapter. I was originally planning to post 2 chapter increments as each part where the chapters mostly alternate between the story of the two main character, but I don't think I'll be able to fit all that together each time for the description with the small character limit Lit gives.

I did just come up with something for part 1 after reading the thread here, but I don't know if what I've got is good. I'm just gonna do it, though, whenever I pull the trigger and publish, that is. I just am not looking forward to having to do this everytime for each part published.

 

[NotWise]

I think the only way I can help you is by pointing you to my catalog for examples of what not to do. I'm so bad at titles and short descriptions that the readers have even pointed it out.

In general, clever and artistic descriptions don't do you much good. Also using inside jokes and references to lines in the story aren't very good. The short description needs to be something the readers will understand before the read the story.

Now all I need to do is apply my own lessons.

 

[Voboy]

As I usually say at times like this?

Write a description that would make YOU want to read the story.

Lots of people post, looking for ways to appeal to "the typical Lit reader," but that's a fool's errand. You're writing stories that please YOU, I assume, so go ahead and write a story description that would hook YOU.

 

[Jmanchu]

I think the only way I can help you is by pointing you to my catalog for examples of what not to do. I'm so bad at titles and short descriptions that the readers have even pointed it out.

In general, clever and artistic descriptions don't do you much good. Also using inside jokes and references to lines in the story aren't very good. The short description needs to be something the readers will understand before the read the story.

Now all I need to do is apply my own lessons.

Yo... I feel those struggles. *bro fist bump* I can write, in my opinion at least, but I can't come up with titles for shit, on top of just discovering how bad I am at descriptions. But at least now I have a little hope that if my "description" comes short, it won't be the end of the world for my story.

Yeah, I tried to come up with something artistic for the description box, but, uh-uh, no bueno. Looked at your catalog, btw, and your descriptions pop. You got that down, in my opinion at least. They got some nice hooks to em.

So short descriptions should be something that a reader needs to understand before the story. Gotcha

 

[Jmanchu]

As I usually say at times like this?

Write a description that would make YOU want to read the story.

Lots of people post, looking for ways to appeal to "the typical Lit reader," but that's a fool's errand. You're writing stories that please YOU, I assume, so go ahead and write a story description that would hook YOU.

Okay, I feel you. I can write a story the way I want to read em, but it's just I have trouble explaining a story. That's always been a struggle for me, bro.

So, write it in way that would make me wanna read it... when you put it that way, that makes it sound pretty straightforward. Never thought of it that way. Okay, I'll try and see if I can do some magic with that gosh-darn 60 character limit.

 

[ElectricBlue]

See, that's my problem right there. On top of over-thinking(ie. my superpower and kryptonite) I can't summarize fo' shit, bro. The first thing in my head? Trying to keep it short and sweet? "A warring dark elf empire rises. The two main characters live on opposite sides of the conflict with very different lives at first glance. It's got romance, tragedy, demons, spirits, and other magic shit too." I don't man. I'll keep trying.

What does the dark elf do the other main player? Forget the word build up, what do they DO to each other, sexually? Isn't that your best catch line?

 

[Voboy]

See, that's my problem right there. On top of over-thinking(ie. my superpower and kryptonite) I can't summarize fo' shit, bro. The first thing in my head? Trying to keep it short and sweet? "A warring dark elf empire rises. The two main characters live on opposite sides of the conflict with very different lives at first glance. It's got romance, tragedy, demons, spirits, and other magic shit too." I don't man. I'll keep trying.

"Warring Elves wrestle with their feelings in a war-torn land."

There ya go. I didn't count, but that should fit.

 

[Trionyx]

Sometimes you can even use a quote from the story as the tagline. In my story ‘Ashley’s Sister’ I used the quote “You want to fuck my sister, don’t you?“ for the tagline. The number of views skyrocketed, I assume because it was provocative and it made people want to know what led up to her making that statement.
https://www.literotica.com/s/ashleys-sister

 

[Paul_Chance]

@SimonDoom hit it right on the head with these two points.

3. If your story title is allusive and artistic, then make your tagline more descriptive and practical so you grab the reader.
4. Between your title and your tagline, the potential reader should have some idea what the story is about, and be enticed and titillated enough to want to read the story.

Think of the Title AND the Descriptor as your primary marketing ad. You want the two of them to combine so the reader says to themselves: "That might be worth reading". Combined with the category and to a much lesser degree the tags, and a greater or lesser degree on your author brand - that's all you get on Lit.

 

[Jmanchu]

What does the dark elf do the other main player? Forget the word build up, what do they DO to each other, sexually? Isn't that your best catch line?

Hmm... It just came to me just now when I read that, but I now know my other problem.

The story is more dark epic fantasy with graphic erotic scenes mixed in with battles, duels with swords and magic, and lots of action, drama, and some romance(short, complicated relationships. Former lovers that haven't gotten over the relationship that hasn't ended, etc). The beginning has more focus on the emotional journey of the main characters and their struggles dealing with a big war, while later chapters have more sexual content. The premise of the main plot and setting itself isn't outright "erotic" on its own.:It follows a dark elf princess and human warrior as they try to survive betrayals, murder attempts, political intrigue, and deal with the fact that they can't fully trust anyone on their side. The story has a lot of focus on world build up. I could make a description that alludes to the eventual wild romance that will play majorly in the story and tie very closely to the main plot, but how would I do that without making it vague...

I did just come up with a description for the first part: "An unsatisfied princess wishes to escape from it all..." Which is the simplest most straightforward way I could describe the central theme of the plot for "chapter 2" which stars the female main in her half-brother's ball. Suitors try to win her over, including one who was once a childhood love, whom she hates. He doesn't take the rejection kindly and tries to assault her. She barely manages to fight him off with magic and threats with her authority, then she gives him a beating which he just takes it. Then he starts plotting vengeance. I'm trying to think how I would put all the big points in 60 characters, and make it sound alright. :|

 

[Paul_Chance]

A princess struggles in a world of murder, betrayal, and intrigue.

 

[SimonDoom]

"Warring Elves wrestle with their feelings in a war-torn land."

There ya go. I didn't count, but that should fit.

This is OK but I'm more inclined to go for the titillation: "Lusty Elven she-warrior bares all on her epic quest"

 

[Jmanchu]

"Warring Elves wrestle with their feelings in a war-torn land."

There ya go. I didn't count, but that should fit.

Well, you're definitely better than me at doing on the spot descriptions, lol.

Sometimes you can even use a quote from the story as the tagline.

Okay, I like the idea. I could use the last sentence of my piece. Also, that story does sound interesting, and I am getting curious to see how that phrase happens. You got me.

Think of the Title AND the Descriptor as your primary marketing ad. You want the two of them to combine so the reader says to themselves: "That might be worth reading". Combined with the category and to a much lesser degree the tags, and a greater or lesser degree on your author brand - that's all you get on Lit.

The title is definitely "allusive and artistic," Ballad of Light and Darkness. Problem is being descriptive with all I get from Lit. Lit is stingy with her description box, leaving me unsatisfied with what little bit she's giving me to work with. She can't even fit chapter 1 and 2 in there at the same time, so I gotta make adjustments with just chapter 2, since that's the far bigger chapter for the part I'm thinking of posting.

Took me a while to come up with the title, which I HOPE is good enough, but I'll have to wait to see. But coming up with the story description is a pain. So far, everyone here has been helpful, and I hope to get this damn thing sorted out. I'm just not looking forward to having to do this every time I have to publish the next part. :|

 

[Jmanchu]

A princess struggles in a world of murder, betrayal, and intrigue.

That could work.

 

[SimonDoom]

I'm always reminded of this fantastic back-cover teaser from Bored of the Rings, the Harvard Lampoon parody of Lord of the Rings:

“Do you like what you doth see . . . ?” said the voluptuous elf-maiden as she provocatively parted the folds of her robe to reveal the rounded, shadowy glories within. Frito’s throat was dry, though his head reeled with desire and ale. She slipped off the flimsy garment and strode toward the fascinated boggie unashamed of her nakedness. She ran a perfect hand along his hairy toes, and he helplessly watched them curl with the fierce insistent wanting of her. “Let me make thee more comfortable,” she whispered hoarsely, fiddling with the clasps of his jerkin, loosening his sword belt with a laugh. “Touch me, oh touch me,” she crooned. Frito’s hand, as though of its own will, reached out and traced the delicate swelling of her elf-breast, while the other slowly crept around her tiny, flawless waist, crushing her to his barrel chest. “Toes, I love hairy toes,” she moaned, forcing him down on the silvered carpet. Her tiny, pink toes caressed the luxuriant fur of his instep while Frito’s nose sought out the warmth of her precious elf-navel. “But I’m so small and hairy, and . . . and you’re so beautiful,” Frito whimpered, slipping clumsily out of his crossed garters. The elf-maiden said nothing, but only sighed deep in her throat and held him more firmly to her faunlike body. “There is one thing you must do for me first,” she whispered into one tufted ear. “Anything,” sobbed Frito, growing frantic with his need. “Anything!” She closed her eyes and then opened them to the ceiling. “The Ring,” she said. “I must have your Ring.” Frito’s whole body tensed. “Oh no,” he cried, “not that! Anything but . . . that.” “I must have it,” she said both tenderly and fiercely. “I must have the Ring!” Frito’s eyes blurred with tears and confusion. “I can’t,” he said. “I mustn’t!” But he knew resolve was no longer strong in him. Slowly, the elf-maiden’s hand inched toward the chain in his vest pocket, closer and closer it came to the Ring Frito had guarded so faithfully . .”


The funny thing about this passage is it didn't even occur in the story. But it gets the point across. You can't go wrong with pedal-to-the-metal titillation.