Re: A girl lost in Illinois...
I posted a few ads on other alternative lifestyle websites but the only repsonses I got were from people who were into it heavy duty and very intense. I'm going to be very new to it so I ended up deleting the ads because I felt a bit overwhelemed. Like what am I getting myself into? I really don't know what to expect. (oh, and I'm also bi but I'll save that for another post in the future)
. . . where does someone look for someone else who might want to explore this type of sexuality with them if you're a beginner? I'm feeling kind of depressed about it actually because I don't think I'll ever be happy dating a "normal" guy or gal. I need someone who's a bit "out there" like me but I'm not sure where to start.
This is a great question for here--so great I'm sure it's answered in several different ways in the library section.
But let me offer this.
My sub and I have, a few times in the past, accepted a newbie submissive to introduce her to what it is she's intrigued by. Although our intent has never been to find a permanent third, we always start with an exchange of ideas and experiences, follow that up with discussion in public places, and make sure all three of us are comfortable.
If we are, we then invite the newbie sub to one of our sessions so she can watch what we do. We're more into "sensation play" than great pain and vivid marking, but it's easy for anyone to get the idea. If, after at least one session as an observer, it still seems a good idea, we invite her to be a participant. Sometimes she is the focus of my attention while my sub observes and "coaches," sometimes the two of them are my focus (my sub enjoys playing with women, also, and enjoys having someone join her to focus on me--and, of course, I absolutely love that).
If, after some length of time the newbie sub still wants to pursue this interest (and I find that about half do, while the other half simply are looking for a permanent mate), she can now do so with some experience under her belt, with some knowledge of others in the scene (we introduce them to others at munches), and a pretty clear understanding of what she should be looking for. And, if she decides this isn't for her, then she doesn't have to worry about it afterwards wondering "what if . . . ".
So, in your area, are there any experienced Dom/sub couples who might take you on as a trainee? Any local boards where you could post this idea?
In addition to the personal guidance, I'd recommend reading everything you can find. It's not all good, but you'll soon learn what's good and what's not.
Oh, one final thing. Believe only about 10% of what you hear on a chat channel.
Good luck.
Prof Bill
I posted a few ads on other alternative lifestyle websites but the only repsonses I got were from people who were into it heavy duty and very intense. I'm going to be very new to it so I ended up deleting the ads because I felt a bit overwhelemed. Like what am I getting myself into? I really don't know what to expect. (oh, and I'm also bi but I'll save that for another post in the future)
. . . where does someone look for someone else who might want to explore this type of sexuality with them if you're a beginner? I'm feeling kind of depressed about it actually because I don't think I'll ever be happy dating a "normal" guy or gal. I need someone who's a bit "out there" like me but I'm not sure where to start.
This is a great question for here--so great I'm sure it's answered in several different ways in the library section.
But let me offer this.
My sub and I have, a few times in the past, accepted a newbie submissive to introduce her to what it is she's intrigued by. Although our intent has never been to find a permanent third, we always start with an exchange of ideas and experiences, follow that up with discussion in public places, and make sure all three of us are comfortable.
If we are, we then invite the newbie sub to one of our sessions so she can watch what we do. We're more into "sensation play" than great pain and vivid marking, but it's easy for anyone to get the idea. If, after at least one session as an observer, it still seems a good idea, we invite her to be a participant. Sometimes she is the focus of my attention while my sub observes and "coaches," sometimes the two of them are my focus (my sub enjoys playing with women, also, and enjoys having someone join her to focus on me--and, of course, I absolutely love that).
If, after some length of time the newbie sub still wants to pursue this interest (and I find that about half do, while the other half simply are looking for a permanent mate), she can now do so with some experience under her belt, with some knowledge of others in the scene (we introduce them to others at munches), and a pretty clear understanding of what she should be looking for. And, if she decides this isn't for her, then she doesn't have to worry about it afterwards wondering "what if . . . ".
So, in your area, are there any experienced Dom/sub couples who might take you on as a trainee? Any local boards where you could post this idea?
In addition to the personal guidance, I'd recommend reading everything you can find. It's not all good, but you'll soon learn what's good and what's not.
Oh, one final thing. Believe only about 10% of what you hear on a chat channel.
Good luck.
Prof Bill
I am still pretty new to Lit, and have been getting a feel for some of the boards here. With what my interests are, it seems only natural that I post here as well! 
