The idea of femdom is honestly really hot and even the more extreme parts of it are fine (cbt/pegging) but as a dude who is a switch its really tough to embrace femdom when I am just not a fan of humiliation, I love the aspect of worship and feeling submissive to a woman but everything I've seen that leads towards harder femdom (Gentle femdom I'm excluding for this context) is just humiliation. Am I missing anything or is this what more hardcore femdom is? Thank you.
Is all femdom humiliation?
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saintcero
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I don’t know but I would love to find out first hand.
In terms of what though? I’ve talked to my female friend about this and she said she doesn’t feel humiliated when she’s submissive to a man, and she doesn’t feel humiliated when submitting to a woman either, maybe it’s just the way that WLW relationship dynamics work but I’ve only ever seen femdom be inherently humiliating to men, I understand that traditional gender roles definitely play a part in this but I’m just wondering whether there’s femdom that isn’t humiliating and instead just a regular dynamic between dom and sub?
In terms of what I don't know. I am new to all this. I posted my question trying to learn.
I don't know what WLW is.
oh I apologise, I thought you were telling me something, WLW is women love women or lesbian relationships
In my opinion I don't think submission is inherently humiliation, just as I think domination isn't inherently empowering, I just see it as a way of seeing someone, I just see a lot of people using submission and humiliation like they're partnered so I'm just trying to figure it out haha.
Servileone13
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I think humiliation might be in the eye of the beholder. What's humiliating to one might not be to the other. You mention cbt & pegging as being hot., for some yes, but for others being pegged could be the ultimate humiliation. Like ropes and whips, just another instrument in a Domme's toolbox. Whether played as punishment or arousal depends on the dynamic
submissa
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Humiliation is not a requirement, so my answer is no. However, many people, especially men, perceive submission itself as a humiliation, nevermind submission to a woman. To those people, femdom cannot exist without it being humiliating - but that's different from femdom itself being inherently humiliating.
In addition to what @Servileone13 said about humiliation being in the eye of the beholder, I'd also add what might feel humiliating coming from one domme may feel different coming from another depending on the strength of your rapport and the level of trust.
In addition to what @Servileone13 said about humiliation being in the eye of the beholder, I'd also add what might feel humiliating coming from one domme may feel different coming from another depending on the strength of your rapport and the level of trust.
Lady2020
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No.
Astrotrain
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No, there's other types. There's gentle femdom and mommydom. You can use gentle femdom with a surprising number other things, even small penis humiliation. "Look at that pathetic little thing, do you really think you can satisfy a woman with that?" becomes "Oh that little thing is absolutely adorable, look at at it standing up erect like that, it's like a little puppy barking at the mailman not know how tiny and precious it really is."
Toffer_Guy
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No. Femdom is more about control and obey. Some shaming could be involved, but it’s down to style or taste. Just as in how all dirty talk isn’t negative. You could say things such as, “Good boy.’ or “You deserve this.”
It does bother me so many JOI videos are shaming vids. Been hard to find any positive or encouraging.
It does bother me so many JOI videos are shaming vids. Been hard to find any positive or encouraging.
Ssbbw4u1974
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I think femdom can be different things to different dynamics.
I'm a switch, (I lean more towards sub).
My subs have all been different.. some liked sph, some like me to control when they cum, I mean, the list goes on..
It's like other D/s dynamics.. it can be whatever you want. You're going to have limits. If being treated more gentle is your thing, express this when vetting her.
I'm a switch, (I lean more towards sub).
My subs have all been different.. some liked sph, some like me to control when they cum, I mean, the list goes on..
It's like other D/s dynamics.. it can be whatever you want. You're going to have limits. If being treated more gentle is your thing, express this when vetting her.
submissa
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No, it's any situation where a woman is dominating anybody, including other women.
IrisAlthea
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For a nonnegeligible amount of people out there, the concept of doing a woman’s bidding is humiliating in itself. Doing it in a sexual situation makes it even more so, to them.
To them, being female is being inferior by definition and being submissive, the result of/same as being feminine.
Hence, being femininized in any fashion is humiliation by default, perhaps even more so than just being feminine as a woman.
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cdstefi
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I personally hate the whole idea of humiliation so I approach femdom with my wife as just another colour in the sex palette. I can deal with face-sitting and analingus and pegging without it feeling like humiliation at all; it's something that empowers and gets us both off, so win-win for me.
nothingatall27
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I know you were just giving advice but that is one effortlessly hot post you made
Wonderer67
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Like everyone else has stated, it’s how YOU feel about it.
Some people see pegging as humiliating, others see it as hot and being out of control and still others may view it as a creative way to cede control or gender swap.
so much of it is about who your with, how you engage and what your aims are.
My wife and I have a loving femdom rleatiosnhip. Some things I consider very humiliating, others are just hot.
Water sports: some people see it as humiliating. I don’t. I see it as loving, trusting and intimate.
Orgasm control: some people may see this as humiliating a man and preventing him from cumming. I see it as a loving way of staying constantly horny, enhancing our relationship and focusing my love on her and her pleasure.
It depends.
Some people see pegging as humiliating, others see it as hot and being out of control and still others may view it as a creative way to cede control or gender swap.
so much of it is about who your with, how you engage and what your aims are.
My wife and I have a loving femdom rleatiosnhip. Some things I consider very humiliating, others are just hot.
Water sports: some people see it as humiliating. I don’t. I see it as loving, trusting and intimate.
Orgasm control: some people may see this as humiliating a man and preventing him from cumming. I see it as a loving way of staying constantly horny, enhancing our relationship and focusing my love on her and her pleasure.
It depends.
Kumquatqueen
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Femdom doesn't have to involve humiliation. Can be as simple as "I'm going to do this to you, you pervert, because we both know you'll get off on it. Or at least I will, and you'll wank over it later."
Embarrassment is optional, too.
My stories 'My love is like a red, red arse' (and the prequel 'Strength is a caged cock', if you don't mind a bit of enema fetish stuff), and 'Switching at KinkCon' all have men being dominated and not humiliated.
Embarrassment is optional, too.
My stories 'My love is like a red, red arse' (and the prequel 'Strength is a caged cock', if you don't mind a bit of enema fetish stuff), and 'Switching at KinkCon' all have men being dominated and not humiliated.
SissySalina
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This sissy thinks it all deepens on the person, sissy has never felt Humiliated, sissy try the best to obey and make Her proud of sissy. If sissy does the task then it is not humiliating but the pride of completing that task properly.
vagrantx
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Gay domme checking in. Femdom isn't anything in particular. The general theme is just a power balance shifted to one side - what comes out of that dynamic varies greatly from couple to couple.
For me and my SO, it's about control of sensations, be it pain or pleasure. Restriction of freedom, be it physical or mental. It's about submission, about surrendering your autonomy, but most importantly it's about complete and total trust that this faith will not be abused. That trust is a catalyst for everything else.
We don't dabble in humiliation, though there are many who do. Neither of us enjoy it. Nor does it bleed into our lives outside of the bedroom - there's no pet-talk or titles supplanting names outside of our home. We are equals in everything, except when it comes to sex.
For me and my SO, it's about control of sensations, be it pain or pleasure. Restriction of freedom, be it physical or mental. It's about submission, about surrendering your autonomy, but most importantly it's about complete and total trust that this faith will not be abused. That trust is a catalyst for everything else.
We don't dabble in humiliation, though there are many who do. Neither of us enjoy it. Nor does it bleed into our lives outside of the bedroom - there's no pet-talk or titles supplanting names outside of our home. We are equals in everything, except when it comes to sex.
blackphillip13
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Agreed. i can take a wicked whipping or caning or whatever that isn't specifically considered humiliation or degradation play but it's pretty humiliating and degrading to repeatedly seek that level of suffering out and to be grateful to one's Superiors for it.
