Need advice from a female

[Maloufokker]

Look at the menu if it is shown to you.

Eat at home.

 

[davion2308]

Enjoy the view

If you like your happy, healthy marriage, you can treat this like the museum: You enjoy the view but you keep your hands off the art on the wall.

She's giving you a peek. Take it and be happy. She's not pushing herself into you, she's not looking down at her cleavage and looking up at you and winking. Hell, there's an outside chance, maybe more than you realize, that she's not trying to do this on purpose.

The COVID has everybody more casual at home. I take Zoom meetings at work barely wearing more than a shirt. My wife has gone braless and while I'm digging that, she's not trying to offer me more sex or anything.

So, look, appreciate the tickle you get in your pants, and like my mother said when she took me to antique stores, "Don't touch NOTHING!"

You want someone to tell you to go for it. I can't do that here. But good luck!

 

[arkbabyboomer]

Thanks Desiree for reading between the lines and understanding the gist of what I was seeking. As others pointed out, this is very good advice and I’ll just have to remember this for the next time my wife and I go visit.

I do appreciate all who replied and sorry about misleading anyone due to my wording. This was meant to be an innocent request on how to handle the situation with my neighbor in a delicate way. I never intended to cheat on my wife, so my apologies if my intentions were misunderstood.

 

[NightL]

She is rather busty and that is a weakness for me and I admit that I can’t keep from looking...

I would love to just reach out and fondle her breasts each time, but I don’t dare without undeniable proof that she wants something physical/sexual to take place.

well you sure as hell painted a picture there - not too many ways that could be misunderstood.

Oh, and about that "white" thing - what the hell was that supposed to prove, imply or whatever? I genuinely want to know your motives for including that in your first sentence?

As for "handle the situation with my neighbor in a delicate way" - you want to fondle her delicately?

Fine, you like big breasts and you get a peep show of cleavage when she leans forward. Are you really sure this is a display for you or just her going about her own way of moving around her own home dressed in whatever clothes she feels comfortable in? (In her own home.)

Good for you - you get a peek at boobs - be happy about it if that is your thing. Beyond that there is no situation for you to handle unless that is something all cool with the three of you. If you believe it would be, the very first person you discuss it with is your wife.

Maybe you should consider showing your wife your posts here? Who knows what might develop?

 

[schizochick]

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=BJP9o4BEziI



Ahem..
x_0

 

[bailadora]

I never intended to cheat on my wife, so my apologies if my intentions were misunderstood.

Nah, dude. There's no misunderstanding those words. Even Desiree recognized your intention:

Lol, poor guy wanted to know if he could touch her tits. Now we have him being her shrink.

The difference is that she and I took vastly different perspectives in the advice we gave.

 

[bailadora]

Oh, please.

The man wasn't criticized for having a fantasy, he was criticized for wanting to act on it without his wife's permission. I wasn't the only one to have picked up on it; several others read it the same way.

At any rate, Boomer, if you value your relationship with your wife as much as you say you do, then prioritize her feelings above your neighbor. That's not to say you can't be kind and encouraging, but stop to think how your actions might be viewed by your wife and let that be your guide.

 

[NightL]

I hope this won't discourage others from discussing their fantasies.

The word fantasy wasn't mentioned in their posts

Please give me your thoughts on whether she is giving me signals...

I gave my thoughts.

Desiree1 I hope your attempts of condescension won't discourage others from expressing their thoughts though. We all have some, don't we?

What are the thoughts I have expressed upset you Desiree1?

• My concern that a person is seeking validation from strangers to act on sexual urges for what probably is not any attempt of sexual advance at all, just someone who has the right to wear whatever style of clothing they wish in their own home.

• That a person who states "Need advice from a female" yet expresses repeated concern that the very female, who should be closest in his life, find out about his fondling desires for the neighbour.

• My concern that other impressionable readers may see this as a discussion of how a woman dresses as being an invitation for unwanted advances

• My bafflement that someone should label themselves "white male" and my genuine curiosity why they thought that a necessary statement in their first sentence

all in one post - easy for you to respond to Desiree1.

arkbabyboomer I offer a suggestion, if you wish for people to join in on a fantasy masturbation discussion be honest about it "I have a fantasy about my neighbour... I want suggestions to enliven my right hand" - OK in all fairness it could be your left or even both, I'm all for consensual multiple partner play.

 

[schizochick]

Mwuhahahahaha xD
Yall dont stand a chance against her, Shes a fucking Valkyrie. Im loving this. Im on her side btw, cause im not stupid enough to argue with her, ever, in my life. I pick my battles wisely. Im just kidding. But seriously, I think she would make a Badass Valkyrie. Yall are so serious, Its unbelievable. Come, lets play hide and seek. Im on her team.

 

[schizochick]

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ekM0VflXyok

 

[ErosMyMuse]

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=BJP9o4BEziI



Ahem..
x_0

Damn, Schiz! I loved the "YouTube Doctor clip"! So appropriate for our screwed-up world today... wish all the world leaders and Warmongers had to watch it first thing every morning at breakfast. Dr. Who -with juice, coffee, and a plate of steak & eggs (or whatever Warmongers eat)!
Originally, I wasn't here for the "titties - jerking-off - fantasy - cheater - argument", but now I'm intrigued. I enjoy allowing a "nipple-slip" every now and then, but that's my biz, you know; and especially if I'm at home!
My final answer: If seeing my boobs "turns you on", then let's be big people about it. Either you do the dance with your Rosie Palm and be content; or you bring it up to your wife, and then me. If you guys want to move up to something we can all 3 experience and enjoy, then we can talk about that -Okay, I drop the mic

schizochick - Thanks for the Dr Who!

Love – Always, Eros!

 

[bailadora]

Your obsession with the fact that he said white seems a bit odd to me. I often see people state that they are MWM, or MWF. It's just clarification. Do you go after each one of them for saying the same thing? Like right now, I'm talking to an eyeball, not even sure if it's male or female. Might not matter, but would be interesting to know.

Why? A few of the best advice giving Litsters I know are gender ambiguous. It doesn't change the quality of the advice given.

That said, there are instances, such as this one, where relationship status or gender will influence the advice given to an OP. However, unless the situation is such that one's racial or ethnic identiy is significant,I'm genuinely puzzled as to why would we need to know that information?

Granted, I've been on hiatus for a few years, but including your racial identity usually wasn't the norm on these boards unless you were scouting for action. That's not to say Litsters never revealed that information in other circumstances, but IMX, it only came up in discussion when it was relevant to the topic at hand.

This is not a snarky swipe at anyone, by the way. It's an observation of genuine puzzlement, because it's contrary to what I observed as a HT regular and lurker on other boards.

Mwuhahahahaha xD
Yall dont stand a chance against her, Shes a fucking Valkyrie. Im loving this. Im on her side btw, cause im not stupid enough to argue with her, ever, in my life. I pick my battles wisely. Im just kidding. But seriously, I think she would make a Badass Valkyrie. Yall are so serious, Its unbelievable. Come, lets play hide and seek. Im on her team.

If you think this is something, you should have been around when I first joined. NightL is holding back. Trust me, this exchange has been tame.

 

[Bramblethorn]

You seem very sensitive to certain things. I'm gonna guess you've been hurt in the past. I'm sorry you went through whatever you went through.

You may not have intended it this way, but this framing can easily come across as patronising and overly presumptuous. People don't need to be personally affected by an issue to feel strongly about it and to care when they see somebody else being mistreated.

Sometimes it's even used as a way to disguise hostility as compassion. Speculating about somebody else's past trauma, when they haven't invited discussion about that topic, is an unkind thing to do when the speculation's wrong and perhaps even less kind when it's accurate.

I have no idea whether NightL has been personally affected by cheating in the past, because it's not my business and they've never chosen to make it my business. But I'm pretty sure Night's capable of deciding whether they want to bring personal experiences into the discussion. Unless and until they do, I'd recommend against making guesses of this kind about other people's personal lives.

 

[schizochick]

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ya-NFtXbCbo

 

[bailadora]

People don't need to be personally affected by an issue to feel strongly about it and to care when they see somebody else being mistreated.

Speaking of Litsters who consistently give great advice...hey, Bram, good to see you!

Even when trying to show compassion, one cannot come out ahead. I'm not here to fight anyone.

I know you have bowed out of this thread, but I cannot let this mischaracterization stand. This has been far from a fight, Desiree. It's been a disagreement on the different perspectives taken with regard to the advice given to Boomer. And as I said to Schizochick, compared to some of the past discussions on the HT boards this has been quite mild.

I know NightL both from here, and in real life. They are one of the most compassionate people I know, and have empathy in spades. But as I told you up thread, HT regulars from our time on the these boards had little tolerance for people seeking validation to cheat, which is what Boomer was initially looking for when he started this thread, but walked back when faced with a response he likely did not expect.

Despite your disagreement, plenty of compassion and empathy was shown - for Boomer's wife. You may not have liked the answers he was given, but no one is required to validate the actions of others if it violates their principles. That you want to spin justified criticism as people lacking empathy, compassion, being hateful, or not being supportive of fantasy is disingenuous.

 

[schizochick]

I know its pointless at this point, But i gawt nothing to loose, So i will try again. I can take the crap.

See, Its really simple. You know? You know what i, See? You are living in a house with others. And you are throwing crap at each other. Right? You keep throwing crap. It doesnt matter what the fuck you think you are doing or saying, You are fucking throwing crap at each other, Whether you have the common sense to realize it or not? So you throw your "good, compassionate, empathatic, crap" at them, And they throw their whatever crap back. Do you understand that much? Okay. You dont realize, The more you throw your, Crap, around, The more crap accumulates in the house. Okay? And it starts to Stink and rot. Then you feel more crappy. Then you throw more and more crap at each other cause you are feeling crappy all the time, because all you see is crap around. Its a vicious circle? And the more crap accumulates, the more crappy you feel, the more you crap at each other, the more crap accumulates, the more crappy you feel, the more..



Do you get it? Stop throwing crap and let people be. Then you wont feel this crappy anymore.


Its all crap, Whatever you think you are saying. Its your crap masked by blah blah blah. If you really wanna crap, Crap somewhere else. Not here. Its simple . Thats what happening on this planet. Everybody thinks their crap is right and keep crapping on each other. Thinking they are doing something "good" hahaha. To me, all crap smells alike. Stinky.

 

[bailadora]

Nope. He came seeking validation which no one is required to give. Simple.

As for me feeling crappy? Nice try. I'm just fine, thank you very much. And no, I'll not be leaving but you are free to do so, if you wish. This is a discussion board. People are going to occasionally disagree with and push back at one another. That's kind of the whole point of discussion boards. If one doesn't care for that sort of thing, then perhaps they should reconsider why they're here.

I bear neither you nor Desiree any ill will, but I won't let intentional mischaracterization stand. I see both of you are fairly new to Literotica, so you may or may not be aware that there is an ignore function. If neither of you care to read my posts, you both have the option of scrolling past my responses or activating the aforementioned feature.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Speaking of Litsters who consistently give great advice...hey, Bram, good to see you!

Likewise!

Even when trying to show compassion, one cannot come out ahead. I'm not here to fight anyone. I like peace. I was merely offering up that she has a reason to take so much offense and want to attack in the way that she did.

Leaving aside the "attack" characterisation - bailadora has already addressed that - I'd note that NightL already posted reasons for their position. I'm happy to take those stated reasons at face value.

When you tell a stranger that the real reason for their position is something different to the reasons they gave, it implies either that they're lying or that they don't know their own mind as well as a stranger on the internet. Even when it's expressed in the language of compassion, this is not a choice that's likely to lead to peaceful coexistence.

Edit: some of y'all could afford to read this article, in particular #2.

 

[schizochick]

Read my other posts before you dare quote me. I know how to crap better than anybody here. Because i dont really care what others think about me. You do whatever you do to feel good about your ego. To boost it, You try to force others meet your so called standards. And when others dont lick your boobs, You crap your judgemental arse on them, Again thinking you are "saving the world" by crapping. hahaha.

 

[bailadora]

Don't really need to, thank you. Similar to your stance, I don't really care what your opinion is of me. I'm not demanding anyone lick my boobs, but neither will I hesitate to call a spade a spade. I'm secure enough in myself and in my tenure here to continue on as I always have. To thine own self be true. I repeat, if you don't care for my posts, put me on ignore. Simple.

 

[Lady2020]

I see the HT forum hasn't changed much. Bramble and Baila are both lovely folks I remember from my previous Lit life.

 

[schizochick]

I never quoted you. I was talking to the person who was throwing all kinds of crap around. Well, If you felt the need to protect your ego, Maybe it applies to you to. Now you cant hep but pass on your toxic shame, Can you? In the name of whatever

 

[schizochick]

"My Name Is Toxic Shame I was there at your conception In the epinephrine of your mother’s shame You felt me in the fluid of your mother’s womb I came upon you before you could speak Before you understood Before you had any way of knowing I came upon you when you were learning to walk When you were unprotected and exposed When you were vulnerable and needy Before you had any boundaries MY NAME IS TOXIC SHAME. I came upon you when you were magical Before you could know I was there I severed your soul I pierced you to the core I brought you feelings of being flawed and defective I brought you feelings of distrust, ugliness, stupidity, doubt, worthlessness, inferiority, and unworthiness I made you feel different I told you there was something wrong with you I soiled your Godlikeness MY NAME IS TOXIC SHAME. I existed before conscience Before guilt Before morality I am the master emotion I am the internal voice that whispers words of condemnation I am the internal shudder that courses through you without any mental preparation MY NAME IS TOXIC SHAME. I live in secrecy In the deep moist banks of darkness depression and despair Always I sneak up on you I catch you off guard I come through the back door Uninvited unwanted The first to arrive I was there at the beginning of time With Father Adam, Mother Eve Brother Cain I was at the Tower of Babel the Slaughter of the Innocents MY NAME IS TOXIC SHAME. I come from “shameless” caretakers, abandonment, ridicule, abuse, neglect—perfectionistic systems I am empowered by the shocking intensity of a parent’s rage The cruel remarks of siblings The jeering humiliation of other children The awkward reflection in the mirrors The touch that feels icky and frightening The slap, the pinch, the jerk that ruptures trust I am intensified by A racist, sexist culture The righteous condemnation of religious bigots The fears and pressures of schooling The hypocrisy of politicians The multigenerational shame of dysfunctional family systems MY NAME IS TOXIC SHAME. I can transform a woman person, a Jewish person, a black person, a gay person, an oriental person, a precious child into A bitch, a kike, a nigger, a bull dyke, a faggot, a chink, a selfish little bastard I bring a pain that is chronic A pain that will not go away I am the hunter that stalks you night and day Every day everywhere I have no boundaries You try to hide from me But you cannot Because I live inside of you I make you feel hopeless Like there is no way out MY NAME IS TOXIC SHAME. _________________________ My pain is so unbearable that you must pass me on to others through control, perfectionism, contempt, criticism, blame, envy, judgment, power, and rage. My pain is so intense You must cover me up with addictions, rigid roles, reenactment, and unconscious ego defenses. My pain is so intense That you must numb out and no longer feel me. I convinced you that I am gone—that I do not exist—you experience absence and emptiness. MY NAME IS TOXIC SHAME. _____________________ I am the core of co- dependency I am spiritual bankruptcy The logic of absurdity The repetition compulsion I am crime, violence, rape I am the voracious hole that fuels all addictions I am insatiability and lust I am Ahaverus the Wandering Jew, Wagner’s Flying Dutchman, Dostoyevski’s underground man, Kierkegaard’s seducer, Goethe’s Faust I twist who you are into what you do and have I murder your soul and you pass me on for generations MY NAME IS TOXIC SHAME"



https://m.youtube.com/watch?reload=9&v=VASywEuqFd8

 

[schizochick]

It's time to step back my friend. Everyone had their say. Boomer got some advice that will likely benefit the neighbor and enhance relations with the 3 of them. People have said what they disliked about the situation. Voices have been heard. Nobody is going to change anyone's opinion today. It's time to say "Well that was interesting " and walk away, cause we don't want to be part of the crap throwing.
Let's go check on the owl. He's always entertaining

I knew youd be back. They are Sooo Serious. Im loving it. Its really easy to trigger serious people. Now she will ptobaby get triggered and come, to say, shes not triggered. Come, lets play hide and seek. Serious people will always get triggered by everything and be miserable all the time.

 

[bailadora]

I see the HT forum hasn't changed much. Bramble and Baila are both lovely folks I remember from my previous Lit life

Oh, now you've piqued my curiosity. DM me?