Need advice from a female

[arkbabyboomer]

I’m a married white male in my mid 50’s, and needing some advice from a female. My wife brought home some fresh squash the other day and asked if I would take some over to our neighbor. She’s an elderly widow in her late 60’s or early 70’s and lives alone. She moved in after her husband passed about twelve years ago and we check on her from time to time. She has not had any male company since her husband passed and she rarely gets visitors, with the exception of an occasional visit from her daughter.

I have noticed that each time I go over by myself, she will find a reason to bend down in front of me and give me a peek down her blouse. The other day was no exception. She is rather busty and that is a weakness for me and I admit that I can’t keep from looking. My wife knows that I’ve always had an attraction to older women, but I don’t think she suspects that I would be attracted to our neighbor. She certainly doesn’t know that I’ve been looking down her blouse when given the opportunity.

This has been happening for quite some time now, so it can’t just be a coincidence. I would love to just reach out and fondle her breasts each time, but I don’t dare without undeniable proof that she wants something physical/sexual to take place. She’s a very sweet and religious lady who considers us part of her extended family, so I can’t risk her thinking bad of me, or saying something to my wife!

Please give me your thoughts on whether she is giving me signals, and if so, how to approach the subject in a delicate manner. Is there a way to test the waters without coming across as a sexual pervert, or corrupt husband? Maybe I should say nothing at all and play it safe. Any advice will be appreciated.

 

[bailadora]

If you don't have permission from your wife for extramarital play, you already know what you should do. Just sayin.

 

[schizochick]

'religious lady'
Is a red flag to me. Ive unfortunately been around many religious people in my life and i oughta tell ya, their toxic shame, is impeccable. You dont want to deal with that shit later after a moment of weakness. Nice and sweet just adds to the problem, Unless she is secretly a naughty naughty girl.

 

[EmpressV]

I suspect that she misses male attention and likely enjoys knowing that she can still catch someone's eye. But I doubt she would want it to go further, especially if she's close to both you and your wife. So my thoughts are that you can comment on how she is still attractive, while your wife is present. Possibly question why she doesn't date, and mention that any man would be lucky to have her. This will make her day. At that age, women need to be reminded that if they wanted to, they could still attract men.
So make her feel good about herself without making thing awkward while you enjoy the sights.

This is exactly what I would have said.

 

[schizochick]

I suspect that she misses male attention and likely enjoys knowing that she can still catch someone's eye. But I doubt she would want it to go further, especially if she's close to both you and your wife. So my thoughts are that you can comment on how she is still attractive, while your wife is present. Possibly question why she doesn't date, and mention that any man would be lucky to have her. This will make her day. At that age, women need to be reminded that if they wanted to, they could still attract men.
So make her feel good about herself without making thing awkward while you enjoy the sights.

'I suspect that she misses male attention and likely enjoys knowing that she can still catch someone's eye'

These are just my guesses, And im not any good when it comes to such things, but here it goes. Uhh i feel drained and stupid right now. Anyway, First of all, Please dont do something as stupid as grabbing her boobs. I dont mean grabbing boobs is stupid, But i feel it might well as be stupid in this case. You shouldnt prolly attempt something of that magnitude, Atleast not this early and unexpectedly. I personally dont feel its a purely sexual thing, That what she needs is, just, sexual attention. Im not saying she wants to have an affair you either. I mean, uhh, emm, everybody likes to feel.. Desirable? You know? I think thats the right word. Especially a widow living alone in her 70s. That someone could still like her that way, In everyway, Body-mind the total package, Her whole being. I mean, Even tho the expression is sexual in nature, I dont feel her underlying feeling is necessarily sexual. It could be emotional. I feel she needs/craves companionship, And not a dry one at that. She wants to feel desired maybe, To feel that someone genuinly likes being at her presence, Appreciates her, Whole of her. Maybe she misses touch, Intimacy. Feeling close with someone. Like.. Uhh, I forgot to take my meds i can barely form a sentence.

'She So my thoughts are that you can comment on how she is still attractive, while your wife is present. Possibly question why she doesn't date, and mention that any man would be lucky to have her'
I dont think she would be into dating.. Being a religious nice sweet family women in her 70s, Please dont torment her with that. I dont feel it would help. Its not practical in her case. Wait, Let me take my meds.

 

[schizochick]

'So my thoughts are that you can comment on how she is still attractive, while your wife is present'

I like her idea by the way, playing it safe.

 

[schizochick]

Lol, I'm not suggesting getting on a dating app, but someone with a bit of empathy could actually have a conversation where things can be said in a way to allow her to open up, share her feelings.

" It's been quite a while since you lost ***. Must have been tough since you were still fairly young. I don't know how I would handle being alone. Have you ever considered finding a companion? "

Its perfect.
You know what, You should get the lady to open up as she said.

 

[Lady2020]

If she wants you to see her boobs, that's a signal.

 

[NightL]

I’m a married white male in my mid 50’s...

Seeking validation for being a "white" creep? Does your skin colour have a correlating impact on your creepiness? Does this make you less of s creep or more of a creep? Does this give you permission to be a creep where others would not?

You want advice from a female? Ask your wife, you know, the person doing nice gestures for your neighbour while not realising her husband is letching during the errands.

Large busted women are likely to have more cleavage on display purely because, well, they are large busted. However this person chooses to clothe herself in her own home probably has no bearing at all on putting on a display for the married white creepy male in his mid 50’s next door. Do you honestly think she plans her clothing each day in the off chance Mr Creepy from next door pops by?

As for others making suggestive assumptions that would encourage Mr Creep, well that makes you all kinds of creepy as well.

 

[schizochick]

Im not really worried about the signal perse, It clearly looks like a signal to me. The older lady is upto something, How exciting. Im worried what might happen after the fondling of boobs. Boobs, what a beautiful word, just like nipples. Anyways, better safe than sorry, no pain no gain, you get the idea. Dont forget the fact that she is a very sweet and religious family lady, dangerous combo if you ask me. She considers them as her extended family and if she goes crazy about it afterwards with guilt regret shame or disguist and intentionally or unintentionally spill her beans in front of his wife, he is dead for good. Now, dont get me wrong. Im really into the taboo of it, like, really, its soo wrong but it feels soo right oh my fucking god.. the risk factor, all the excitement, But i have done enough stupid things in my life to realize, its better to be safe than sorry. And im less than half your age, so thats really saying something. I can see that this is clearly going somewhere and im prolly more excited about it than he is. I like to watch from a distance, thats my thing. Keep us updated maybe?

 

[bailadora]

Having a bad day? You know, we have the empathy train going if you'd like to talk about it.

Nah, NightL is spot on. The one I have the most sympathy for is the OP’s wife. Why the fuck is he asking a bunch of strangers how to handle this situation when he could, oh, I dunno, talk to his wife? If he wants to step outside the marriage, he needs permission from her or he’ll likely irrevocably break her trust. If he already has permission (which doesn’t sound likely given his fear of being outed if he makes a move), his wife is still the best person to talk to because she knows both of them.

 

[NightL]

Having a bad day?

na, no more than the rest of us - I just deliver as I see it deserves. Always do, always have.

arkbabyboomer is shaping a story to seek validation and others are encouraging him.

There also may well be impressionable people reading on who see this as a discussion of how a woman dresses as being an invitation for unwanted attention.

I have no issue of attraction or admiration, but someone who leads with a statement of melanin may well be easily led by the encouragement of those swept up in circle jerk fantasies.

 

[Jada59]

Don't touch. I'm 61 with slightly big boobs. I never wear a bra at home and I like to show them off. Sometimes I don't even know I'm showing them off. I did have a younger, married guy kind of smoosh up behind me as he asked me for a favor. i didn't like that at all, but he seemed a bit drunk so I let it slide.

 

[schizochick]

Its not about right or wrong, atleast to me. Its always the so called right people that fucks everything up in the end, because ofcouse, they like think they are right about everything. And nature doesnt work according to their ideas of right or wrong. The more good you think you are, the darker and denser the unconscious shadow would be. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Its how you act that matters, Not how you think. The state of our planet is the best example. Everybody is right, but the whole planet is wrong. You can have them both without hurting anybodys feelings, You just gotta act in a sensible way. The words dont make any difference. Words, are, just, words. When i say you have to act in a sensible way, what im saying is, you have to true to who you are to yourself, and others around you in a way they can understand it. In total harmony, Without hurting anybodys feelings, you can act in a sensible way or in a bullshit way. Everything ends, everything dies, no matter what. I dont think its a wrong thing. Thats just egotism that you know it all better than nature. People think they are in control, but they cannot even turn their thoughts off for a single minute. All their so called right and wrong thoughts are just garbage that just drives em crazy, because they fight with it, with themselves, trying to be good. And in the end, they will go so crazy, they will kill each other. Then too they will say they are right and others are wrong. You are not a creep, you are honest. You wont call anybody a creep. Its the people that thinks others are creeps that destroys the planet.

 

[Jada59]

Its not about right or wrong, atleast to me. Its always the so called right people that fucks everything up in the end, because ofcouse, they like think they are right about everything. And nature doesnt work according to their ideas of right or wrong. The more good you think you are, the darker and denser the unconscious shadow would be. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Its how you act that matters, Not how you think. The state of our planet is the best example. Everybody is right, but the whole planet is wrong. You can have them both without hurting anybodys feelings, You just gotta act in a sensible way. The words dont make any difference. Words, are, just, words. When i say you have to act in a sensible way, what im saying is, you have to true to who you are to yourself, and others around you in a way they can understand it. In total harmony, Without hurting anybodys feelings, you can act in a sensible way or in a bullshit way. Everything ends, everything dies, no matter what. I dont think its a wrong thing. Thats just egotism that you know it all better than nature. People think they are in control, but they cannot even turn their thoughts off for a single minute. All their so called right and wrong thoughts are just garbage that just drives em crazy, because they fight with it, with themselves, trying to be good. And in the end, they will go so crazy, they will kill each other. Then too they will say they are right and others are wrong. You are not a creep, you are honest. You wont call anybody a creep. Its the people that thinks others are creeps that destroys the planet.

Uh....

*Backs away slowly*

 

[schizochick]

Uh....

*Backs away slowly*

lol
im not serious. im just playing along and having fun

 

[NightL]

Its the people that thinks others are creeps that destroys the planet.

melting ice caps, mass extinction of animals - who would have thought?

 

[bailadora]

I think he's asking a bunch of strangers because that's what people do here. The likelihood of anything happening with the neighbor are slim. The thought popped into his head and he thought "I wonder what others would think of this". It gets people talking and looking at different angles of seeing things. I don't think he needs to be judged for his thoughts. This is Literotica after all. It's where people are free to discuss their different thoughts, and often, those thoughts will be at least slightly erotic, hence the name of the site.
And I'm pretty sure that if he tells his wife that he feels the neighbor is purposely flashing her cleavage at him, this could cause a bit of friction with the wife and the neighbor. So instead, he talks to us. This way, he gets to talk about it and nobody gets hurt.

I’m well aware of how these boards work. I was a regular on the HT boards from 2007-2015/16. So was NightL for that matter. The core HT’ers were pretty accepting with a few exceptions: cheaters and folks who tried to coerce their partners into things they didn’t want to do. Pretty much everything else flew as long as informed consent was given by all.

I’m not judging the OP for having erotic thoughts about his neighbor, I’m judging him based upon his own words:

I would love to just reach out and fondle her breasts each time, but I don’t dare without undeniable proof that she wants something physical/sexual to take place

It’s crystal clear he’d make a move on his neighbor if he had confirmation she wanted sexual play. So I say again, the man needs to take this up with his wife. Either be upfront with her about wanting to step out of the marriage or keep his horny thoughts to himself as fap material. It’s not that difficult.

 

[schizochick]

Lol, what kind of meds are you on

Lol. Idk. It blocks things out. Im too sensitive. It gets too much sometimes insid my head. It goes in circles. I cant differentiate between this and that, lets say pain and pleasure. I cant function that way in real life, so it blocks it out

 

[schizochick]

So my thoughts are that you can comment on how she is still attractive, while your wife is present.

......

 

[schizochick]

I feel desires way is the way to go. I really like her solution.
Your.. second attention down there, doesnt know the difference between this and that. Its function is to be.. In attention, indiscriminately of the labels of the objects of attention, true to how its programmed to be.. attentive. Now, you can shift it to your point of liking and pretend other points are not there and tell yourself you are a saint. Since i know you cant draw a line if two points are not connected as one, i also know that nobody is a saint. So it doesnt really make any difference whether you suppress your desires or express it because all kinds of bullshit exists within you. The moment you accept it, you are free. You wont feel crappy anymore about yourself or others, because whatever you feel about others, you feel about yourself, since all points of reference are within you, and you are one with every single point you can draw a line with, when you love you feel love, when you are angry you feel anger, when you hate you feel hate, you judge and hate and divide your self, in the end, you are a big fuckin mess. Then all you feel is crappy all the time, cause you are full of crap. The moment you realize its all in your head, you are free. Then, you wont bother anybody anymore with your judgements, you will be thankful for all the so called creepy things that exists that helped you realize that. Then you are free to do whatever you want, because, then, you will feel, that you, are all, and all, is within you. Then you feel, you are doin it all to yourself. Then you will know, it doesnt really matter. If you think this is crazy talk, you oughta wait until im off my meds.

 

[schizochick]

Its an endless vicious circle, of toxic shame and judgements that everybody passes onto each other that fucks it all up. If you dont judge, you are free, everybody is free and happy.

You can make em both happy if you know how to play it right. Three happy people.

 

[schizochick]

Im not saying she wants to have sex with you, i never said that. You know what the problem with second attention is, it fixates on things in a way it likes to see it insted of seeing it the way it is. Thats the problem, you see. You mix first and second attention and you only see what you want to see , the way you like to see, rather than the real picture. Thats the reason people always see different things. So you need to clear you head first and try to see things the way they are, before acting upon it. Make sure what she wants

 

[schizochick]

Lol, I'm not suggesting getting on a dating app, but someone with a bit of empathy could actually have a conversation where things can be said in a way to allow her to open up, share her feelings.

" It's been quite a while since you lost ***. Must have been tough since you were still fairly young. I don't know how I would handle being alone. Have you ever considered finding a companion? "

.....

 

[schizochick]

If all that you want is to grab her boobs and not to get to the truth of this, if you dont want any trouble that is, its better to practice lucid dreaming and fondle her breasts that way.