My wife has been away for a week at a trade show and I cleaned out our closet to stay busy. I am giving away perfectly good shoes and found several boxes in which to store them. One contained a bundle of letters - wrapped in rubber bands. I put the letters back in the box and just before I closed the lid I saw a few words of endearment on the top letter. I took out the bundle and unwrapped the bands. I felt odd reading letters not intended for my eyes but these are intriguing. Women's handwriting on front and back of the papers. It's not my style to do that but the more I read, the more questions I had. It became obvious my wife had been in a relationship in 2002 (before we were married) with a woman and her husband. The letters went into great detail about their feelings for each other and how my wife was growing and learning. None of the letters were written by the man; only the woman. Who were these people? Where did she meet them? Where are they now and does she maintain contact? This was a dominant/submissive arrangement and it's obvious my wife engaged in lesbian / lezdom activities. I have sooo many questions. But I can't ask one since I had no business reading anything of hers. I'm completely surprised as she could be considered vanilla by anyone who knows her. What is your advice? I don't know what to say to her... if anything. I have no right
Wife has questionable past
- Thread starter Ciceri
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Britva415
"Alabaster," my ass
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Don't do the above. That's using your illicitly gained knowledge to manipulate her.
Either resign yourself to keeping the secret forever that you read her stuff, or, be prepared to get honest about it as part of any such conversation about any unspoken desires you want to ask her about having.
Also, consider not making it about you, if you do ever bring it up.
Either resign yourself to keeping the secret forever that you read her stuff, or, be prepared to get honest about it as part of any such conversation about any unspoken desires you want to ask her about having.
Also, consider not making it about you, if you do ever bring it up.
wetsawdust
Really Experienced
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I think, if it were me, at this stage in the game...I'd just sit on it. You were snooping, found something she did before you were married. Way she goes. Bringing it up would only likely give her pain, and for something that happened long ago, she don't need that shit.
Lucky girl, though. Sounds fun.
Lucky girl, though. Sounds fun.
SissySalina
Sissy Smart
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If it was Her that found your letters, what would you want her to do?
Honesty is the best policy especially in an open relationship.
This sissy's opinion.
Honesty is the best policy especially in an open relationship.
This sissy's opinion.
CD_Bree
Just having fun
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I think he has it right, if just want to know what she was up to, forget it! A fire could ignite you can't put out!
A few of these letters are dated but I couldn't get an exact timeline. The letters were over the course of two years, tho. I read these again last night and I think my wife may have carried his baby. I need to read this one letter again because it mentions something about ob/gyn and ultrasound. Is it possible to carry another woman's fertilized egg? I'm not well-versed in any of this
Britva415
"Alabaster," my ass
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As a surrogate, assisted by a very expensive fertility clinic, yeah.
4yourpleasureiam
Literotica Guru
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Respect her rights. If she has had lovers and wants lovers or just plain sex that is her right.
SloBlo69
Sublimely in Awe ?
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If your wife wanted you to know about it, she would've talked about it or sje could be saving it for another day when she's ready to talk about it. Also, for her to keep these letters means it's of great significance / importance. You were not supposed to see it, let alone have permission to read it - so leave it at that & let live bud. Some things are better left unsaid until it's said if you know what I mean.
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1. Snooping, while understandable, is going to be some serious grit in the complicated mechanism that is a marriage. Cost/benefit analysis required.
2. If there was any indication this was still going on, it would be one thing, maybe time for a confrontation, maybe even a lawyer. As it is, it’s just history and most of us have done ‘stuff’ we don’t want to be reminded of right now.
3. Most importantly, now that you know, keep in mind that she's still exactly the same woman you dated, fell in love with, proposed to and waited for at the altar. She’s exactly the same woman she was before two minutes before you found those letters. She hasn’t changed a bit - only you have.
All that said, I might be tempted to go with the suggestion to casually ask her if she’s ever thought of a threesome or swinging - WITHOUT saying where the idea came from.
2. If there was any indication this was still going on, it would be one thing, maybe time for a confrontation, maybe even a lawyer. As it is, it’s just history and most of us have done ‘stuff’ we don’t want to be reminded of right now.
3. Most importantly, now that you know, keep in mind that she's still exactly the same woman you dated, fell in love with, proposed to and waited for at the altar. She’s exactly the same woman she was before two minutes before you found those letters. She hasn’t changed a bit - only you have.
All that said, I might be tempted to go with the suggestion to casually ask her if she’s ever thought of a threesome or swinging - WITHOUT saying where the idea came from.
ronibarret
Virgin
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But why does she keep the letters in their shared abode?
One_ping_only
Married
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It's in her last and prior to her even meeting you. If she wants to share that part of her past she will and would. Maybe she just hasn't found the right time and place to do so??
Nevertheless she actually didn't do anything wrong in regards to your relationship so I'd leave it alone and not even dwell on it. So many worse things in life.
Nevertheless she actually didn't do anything wrong in regards to your relationship so I'd leave it alone and not even dwell on it. So many worse things in life.
wetsawdust
Really Experienced
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Well, there's also that. But being that as it may, I'd probably still just lay low on it.
NightL
smoke'n'mirrors
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If what you are writing of has any truth at all it may suggest your wife has a better understanding of you than you realise. Her reservation of discussing her past seems well founded in that your first choice of action was to write to Literotica forums than actually speak with her.
But of course your recent post history displays your fascination of breeding kink, you having a girlfriend, being divorced, apparently now having a wife and of your gay encounters.
Seems you certainly have very active thoughts in all these areas.
But of course your recent post history displays your fascination of breeding kink, you having a girlfriend, being divorced, apparently now having a wife and of your gay encounters.
Seems you certainly have very active thoughts in all these areas.
NightL
smoke'n'mirrors
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Attempting to lure people into discussing your sexual fantasies under the pretence of “I need advice” here in the How To… is just icky.
If you want people to role play in your fantasies, be honest about it then everything will be open and consensual. I’d suggest, though, Fetish & Sexuality Central would be more appropriate section to post in. Just don’t bullshit trying to gain the trust of people.
If you want people to role play in your fantasies, be honest about it then everything will be open and consensual. I’d suggest, though, Fetish & Sexuality Central would be more appropriate section to post in. Just don’t bullshit trying to gain the trust of people.
Inthelastrow
Really Experienced
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I think honesty is the best option...to a point. I like the comment above that the woman you love has not changed, only your knowledge or her has. For what ever reason, she kept the letters. Must be important for her to have them. And you unintentionally saw and read them. So I think you have to be honest to her...and yourself.
For you: is it important for you to know about her past relationship? Do you want something more? Hoping for more than just vanilla? Or is it a personal issue with you that you need to know. If it's all about you, then sit on the knowledge and deal with it yourself. You know and no harm no fowl. Her past relationship is over, there's no disease or financial issues. She moved on and you two have a growing relationship. Maybe she will tell you sometime, maybe she won't.
If you want to discuss it with her, you feel you must, then don't confront her. Start a conversation. Tell her you have a question, then explain how you found the letters, by simply were cleaning out the closet, and ask her what they are? Remember it's your closet too. You will have to live with the results. She may get angry and feel violated. She may not say anything or pass it off as nothing. Or she may open up to you and by doing so learn more about her and have a closer relationship.
Early in my marriage, my wife found some old love letters from a college sweetheart, and she asked about them. I told her about them. We didn't get into a fight, and had a good conversation, but I did feel a bit perturbed having to answer her questions. But what really got me was when she asked me why it was important for me to hold on to love letters from a former girlfriend. It made me confront my own feelings. It made me realize I had to move on and grow as a person and as a husband.
For you: is it important for you to know about her past relationship? Do you want something more? Hoping for more than just vanilla? Or is it a personal issue with you that you need to know. If it's all about you, then sit on the knowledge and deal with it yourself. You know and no harm no fowl. Her past relationship is over, there's no disease or financial issues. She moved on and you two have a growing relationship. Maybe she will tell you sometime, maybe she won't.
If you want to discuss it with her, you feel you must, then don't confront her. Start a conversation. Tell her you have a question, then explain how you found the letters, by simply were cleaning out the closet, and ask her what they are? Remember it's your closet too. You will have to live with the results. She may get angry and feel violated. She may not say anything or pass it off as nothing. Or she may open up to you and by doing so learn more about her and have a closer relationship.
Early in my marriage, my wife found some old love letters from a college sweetheart, and she asked about them. I told her about them. We didn't get into a fight, and had a good conversation, but I did feel a bit perturbed having to answer her questions. But what really got me was when she asked me why it was important for me to hold on to love letters from a former girlfriend. It made me confront my own feelings. It made me realize I had to move on and grow as a person and as a husband.
You're right and that's why I've chosen to not discuss this with her .
lovecraft68
Bad Doggie
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It happened before you were in the picture, meaning it has no impact on you whatsoever, and frankly is none of your business. No one is required to divulge their entire life history to their partner, and as soon as you saw there were letters in the box and not shoes, you shouldn't have read them.
Let me ask you this, is it your wife's business who you slept with before her? I'm betting your answer to that would be no, so this is the usual insecure male double standard.
Let me ask you this, is it your wife's business who you slept with before her? I'm betting your answer to that would be no, so this is the usual insecure male double standard.
An interesting take. You wouldn't be attempting to cosy up to women by talking men down, by any chance? You know: "look at me and how clued up I am about the stupidity of (other) males..?
Believe me, there are plenty of insecure women out there, applying just that same double standard...
