How do you know?

[Lissy2005]

How do you know if you are submissive or not?
I have lots of feelings about being in a subservient role to man and I like older men who I feel have authority over me.
It is something I have fantasised about.
I also have been interested in cosplay and more specifically pet play. I would love to be a little kittie neku, and have cute ears.

 

[Wriggle]

Being submissive is very attractive to a lot of people, because you feel they feel like it takes the decision making responsibility away from them (probably why politics and judges are notoriously submissive in the brothels)
I think you would have fun getting told what to do for a while, but your exhibitionist/nudist side of your persona suggests that you also like to take control, too.
You might be a role switcher.

 

[Lissy2005]

Being submissive is very attractive to a lot of people, because you feel they feel like it takes the decision making responsibility away from them (probably why politics and judges are notoriously submissive in the brothels)
I think you would have fun getting told what to do for a while, but your exhibitionist/nudist side of your persona suggests that you also like to take control, too.
You might be a role switcher.

Oh that is interesting. Maybe, I do like to be in control in certain circumstances. More to think about.

 

[Wriggle]

Oh that is interesting. Maybe, I do like to be in control in certain circumstances. More to think about.

Just enjoy it all.
Sexuality is a gift.

 

[Primalex]

How do you know if you are submissive or not?
I have lots of feelings about being in a subservient role to man and I like older men who I feel have authority over me.
It is something I have fantasised about.
I also have been interested in cosplay and more specifically pet play. I would love to be a little kittie neku, and have cute ears.

Why do you want to / need to know?

I mean, if someone asks you if you are submissive, you can just choose to not say "yes" / "no", but "Well, I do fantasize about men telling me sexual things to do".

Whether you are going to enjoy the real life version of your fantasies is a different can of worms, nobody can answer this for you. Usually people ease into things and ramp up the intensity of activities over time to their liking.

 

[Swuchmann]

Being submissive is very attractive to a lot of people, because you feel they feel like it takes the decision making responsibility away from them (probably why politics and judges are notoriously submissive in the brothels)
I think you would have fun getting told what to do for a while, but your exhibitionist/nudist side of your persona suggests that you also like to take control, too.
You might be a role switcher.

This. I am bi and submissive to other men. In my daily life I mostly an alpha and tend to be dominate to my submissive wife.

Being sub to a man behind closed doors balances things for me.

 

[IrisAlthea]

How do you know if you are submissive or not?
I have lots of feelings about being in a subservient role to man and I like older men who I feel have authority over me.
It is something I have fantasised about.
I also have been interested in cosplay and more specifically pet play. I would love to be a little kittie neku, and have cute ears.

You don’t have to define yourself as a submissive. You might like submitting sometimes but not with others or to some but not to others. No big ”non refundable” decisions needed.

If you feel like trying these things out, it is quite ok to do so without knowing for sure that you’ll like it or turning it into your identity.

It’s like with most new things, you don’t have to see all the steps of the staiway, to take the first one.

 

[lisaharlot]

How do you know if you are submissive or not?
I have lots of feelings about being in a subservient role to man and I like older men who I feel have authority over me.
It is something I have fantasised about.
I also have been interested in cosplay and more specifically pet play. I would love to be a little kittie neku, and have cute ears.

I don’t mean this to sound insulting but be subservient to your partner and see if you like it. You don’t even need to tell them at first, start with minor things like being nude when they’re wearing clothes. Use your mouth a lot from your knees, use your mouth on him after he’s been in you. If you’re not swallowing him start. Fuck him with you on all fours… if you enjoy the vanilla-ish submission then move into the cosplay and pet play. My final tip of advice is if you’re going to have these conversations with your man, they will go better if he’s hard. Good look.

 

[PaxNurgle]

Being submissive is attractive to a lot of people, but it is not always attractive to their partners.

This is something I have struggled with in real life- A lot of people want to be submissive, but relatively few want to be dominant.

With that said, I do agree with what Lisaharlot said above. For guys who want to be submissive, it's a bit harder to initiate it sexually, but my advice would be to start being submissive in non-sexual ways- just try to be thoughtful, do thoughtful things for her, try to be attentive to her wants and moods, and so on. And see if that leads her to want to take charge in more sexual ways, and then- communicate with her, see if she is really into that.

 

[Lissy2005]

I don’t mean this to sound insulting but be subservient to your partner and see if you like it. You don’t even need to tell them at first, start with minor things like being nude when they’re wearing clothes. Use your mouth a lot from your knees, use your mouth on him after he’s been in you. If you’re not swallowing him start. Fuck him with you on all fours… if you enjoy the vanilla-ish submission then move into the cosplay and pet play. My final tip of advice is if you’re going to have these conversations with your man, they will go better if he’s hard. Good look.

That sounds a great plan. Thank you

 

[hulmule]

Just enjoy it all.
Sexuality is a gift.

Yes it is a gift i wish my wife would have gotten... Now even worse with menopause.. Yes just enjoy it !!

 

[Lissy2005]

Yes it is a gift i wish my wife would have gotten... Now even worse with menopause.. Yes just enjoy it !!

Thank you

 

[lisaharlot]

That sounds a great plan. Thank you

You’re welcome! Let us know how it goes!

 

[nothingatall27]

How do you know if you are submissive or not?
I have lots of feelings about being in a subservient role to man and I like older men who I feel have authority over me.
It is something I have fantasised about.
I also have been interested in cosplay and more specifically pet play. I would love to be a little kittie neku, and have cute ears.

Having a sweet little kitty to pet and cuddle sounds fun. I’m sure you’ll find plenty of people willing to help you out if you decide that’s what you want.

 

[babygirl4u1966]

Sounds like you already know your submissive and a little kinky. I think it's a matter of finding the right Dom that will take control of you. A good way to be approache by a Dom is to dress very feminine (short dress, nylons, high heels, etc) and go to places that you're not comfortable with (making you even more submissive), the Dom's will spot you quickly and approach you.

 

[IrisAlthea]

Sounds like you already know your submissive and a little kinky. I think it's a matter of finding the right Dom that will take control of you. A good way to be approache by a Dom is to dress very feminine (short dress, nylons, high heels, etc) and go to places that you're not comfortable with (making you even more submissive), the Dom's will spot you quickly and approach you.

Sure…
Then have fun sifting through the creepy asshats.
Oh and be aware that some are both creepy asshatsand doms. They are not mutually exclusive.

 

[Tallcajun]

How about an update, if you are so inclined?

You pose a good question. I’d like to see you progress.

 

[Lady2020]

I know I'm not, but that was after a lot of thought after playing a sub role to Lit men who claimed to be Doms. It was easy to play a sub role after a lot of experience with ol play. It's not something I want to do consistently.

 

[RhyverRyder]

I’ve come to find that I very much want to be a dom but am in the same boat (roughly) as the OP as in how to move forward about it.

 

[emme8]

My final tip of advice is if you’re going to have these conversations with your man, they will go better if he’s hard. Good look.

Lisa
Great advice for any conversation with a man.

 

[Peterseasy]

How do you know if you are submissive or not?
I have lots of feelings about being in a subservient role to man and I like older men who I feel have authority over me.
It is something I have fantasised about.
I also have been interested in cosplay and more specifically pet play. I would love to be a little kittie neku, and have cute ears.

I’m really interested in trying a submissive role. I think I might like a woman who has control over me. But until I try it I will never know.

 

[Astrotrain]

Remember, there's lots of different ways you can be submissive. If you're frightened of pain, it's perfectly possible to have a BDSM relationship without any physical pain being inflicted at all. There's orgasm denial and orgasm control, DD/lg, gentle...maledom? (never heard that phrase, but it still counts). There's more to BDSM than Fifty Shade Of Gray.