How do you help someone get over being abused

[kikmosa]

Bump... bump.... bumping this back to first page, where it belongs.

 

[Don K Dyck]

Bump... bump.... bumping this back to first page, where it belongs.

Hi Kiki . . . great to see that you're still posting . . . say, have you moved up to the Big Apple?

 

[kikmosa]

Hi Kiki . . . great to see that you're still posting . . . say, have you moved up to the Big Apple?

Hi Delightful Don.
I'm closer to Albany, NY. New York city is about 4 hours away from here.

 

[Don K Dyck]

Hi Delightful Don.
I'm closer to Albany, NY. New York city is about 4 hours away from here.

You mean that New York state is bigger than New York City alone??

What's it like living upstate?

 

[kikmosa]

You mean that New York state is bigger than New York City alone??

What's it like living upstate?

Well this year it's nuts. The weather doesn't know what it wants to do. We've been very warm for the last week but now they're saying possible snow in a couple of days.
But it's beautiful land here, if a bit crowded here and there. The state parks are great and the fishing is very good.

 

[Noor]

Nice to see you, Kiki!

We have had strange weather too up here in Minnesota.

 

[kikmosa]

Nice to see you, Kiki!

We have had strange weather too up here in Minnesota.

Yeah, it's everywhere. I have a feeling that Mother Nature is going through menopause, lol.

 

[Gil_T2]

Yeah, it's everywhere. I have a feeling that Mother Nature is going through menopause, lol.

Hi NOOR & KIKI mother nature seems pissed at the world in general lately as her vengence seems to be global.

 

[Bandit58]

This was on one of my Yahoo survivor lists.

Being a Victim vs. Being a Survivor.

Being a victim is a state of mind-dictated by others.
A survivor dictates their own state of mind.

A victim fears the moments of grief.
A survivor welcomes those moments!

A victim knows about feeling down and tries to stay up.
A survivor knows feeling down is okay.

A victim tries hard to hide the tears.
A survivor never leaves home without kleenex.

A victim struggles to maintain a state of normalcy.
A survivor knows normal no longer exists.

A victim gets caught in isolation.
A survivor reaches out when they need to.

A victim is afraid they in time will forget.
A survivor knows they never will!

A victim sometimes feels guilty laughing.
A survivor laughs through the tears.

A victim tries at times to block out the memories.
A survivor embraces memories of all kinds.

A victim wants someone to cure their grief.
A survivor just wants someone to share their journey.

A victim struggles to get over their grief.
A survivor fights to get through it.

A victim tries to get on with their life.
A survivor lives their life knowing nothing will ever be the same.

A victim says oh I'm okay and then secretly cries.
A survivor openly cries and says I'm okay.

 

[mortalwombat]

This was on one of my Yahoo survivor lists.

Being a Victim vs. Being a Survivor.

I like this Bandit-very thought provoking and true

 

[Gil_T2]

I like this Bandit-very thought provoking and true

Wonder why I love this lady.

 

[jazey_43]

Wonder why I love this lady.

Just poppin in to give Bandit and Gil some squishy lovin!...*pounces Gil and Bandit...waving Hi there to everyone else, I make my way out of the door!*


Enjoy your Sunday, All!!!!!!!!!

 

[mortalwombat]

Wonder why I love this lady.

never wondered at all-it's very obvious

 

[Gil_T2]

never wondered at all-it's very obvious

AHHHH SOME BODY WAX THAT WOMBAT AHHHHHH



Just bumping the thread, hey wombat keep up the good work mate.

 

[mortalwombat]

AHHHH SOME BODY WAX THAT WOMBAT AHHHHHH



Just bumping the thread, hey wombat keep up the good work mate.

thanks for that gil-although i seem to be getting alot of negative feedback about my av for some reason. i was only fulfilling the view that we should have more topless av's!

 

[Gil_T2]

thanks for that gil-although i seem to be getting alot of negative feedback about my av for some reason. i was only fulfilling the view that we should have more topless av's!

wasn't knocking just stirring as i do admire your drive to better yourself.

 

[Don K Dyck]

thanks for that gil-although i seem to be getting alot of negative feedback about my av for some reason. i was only fulfilling the view that we should have more topless av's!

Hey Batty . . . that weight loss is inspirational!! . . . maybe you can do a deal with bertrande for when you reach for goal . . . like Gil did for smoking . . .

 

[mortalwombat]

Hey Batty . . . that weight loss is inspirational!! . . . maybe you can do a deal with bertrande for when you reach for goal . . . like Gil did for smoking . . .

thanks don-and bertrandes doing bloody well with her quitting smoking as well!

 

[Don K Dyck]

thanks don-and bertrandes doing bloody well with her quitting smoking as well!

heheheheh . . . wicked thought . . . two great achievements need two great avs . . . bertrande in fish nets on your knee and the slim trim Batty naked on Bertrande's naked knee . . . . . . the mind boggles

I'm sure somebody will volunteer to take the pics . . .

 

[Gil_T2]

heheheheh . . . wicked thought . . . two great achievements need two great avs . . . bertrande in fish nets on your knee and the slim trim Batty naked on Bertrande's naked knee . . . . . . the mind boggles

I'm sure somebody will volunteer to take the pics . . .

DON we might be able to give WOMBAT so ideas on the pic as BERTRANDE is meant to do a pic on my knee as a reward for my quitting effort & BANDIT has claimed pic taking & posing rights already.

 

[mortalwombat]

shameless *BUMP*

 

[pleasteasme]

I posted here a long time ago.

You know, I don't think that you ever really get "over" abuse. It is part of you, whether you like it or not. It shapes the person that you are. I do think, that how you handle yourself later in life does make a difference. As do your family, friends, and support network.

Still, it is a shitty way to grow up and all too common, it seems.

 

[mortalwombat]

I posted here a long time ago.

You know, I don't think that you ever really get "over" abuse. It is part of you, whether you like it or not. It shapes the person that you are. I do think, that how you handle yourself later in life does make a difference. As do your family, friends, and support network.

Still, it is a shitty way to grow up and all too common, it seems.

Hi pleas -haven't seen you about in a while! I think you're right-even though i say to people that my childhood is past and best forgotten, it's always in the back of my mind-and more so when i see my mother or ex stepfather. I guess i'll never really get totally over it but i consider myself pretty well adjusted to it all-there are only a few negative parts to my current self that can be attributed to my childhood. The main one is my almost total inability to stand up for myself-i back away from confrontation almost every time, people walk all over me and i let them. Its one thing i'd like to change about myself but i have no idea how. Other things that come from that era is a lack of self worth and confidence. Still-other than that I dont think i've turned out to badly.
I also agree it's a shitty way to grow up
you know-i think thats the first time i've actually admitted on this thread that i have a past-maybe i should think about posting the whole story. One day maybe

 

[Gil_T2]

Hi Wombat & PTM i can't & won't comment on knowing what each of you are feeling as my abuse came later in life but the betrayal of the person who is/was meant to care for & love you i do know & it is at times difficult to avoid the memories.

 

[Don K Dyck]

Hi pleas -haven't seen you about in a while! I think you're right-even though i say to people that my childhood is past and best forgotten, it's always in the back of my mind-and more so when i see my mother or ex stepfather. I guess i'll never really get totally over it but i consider myself pretty well adjusted to it all-there are only a few negative parts to my current self that can be attributed to my childhood. The main one is my almost total inability to stand up for myself-i back away from confrontation almost every time, people walk all over me and i let them. Its one thing i'd like to change about myself but i have no idea how. Other things that come from that era is a lack of self worth and confidence. Still-other than that I dont think i've turned out to badly.
I also agree it's a shitty way to grow up
you know-i think thats the first time i've actually admitted on this thread that i have a past-maybe i should think about posting the whole story. One day maybe

Hi Batty, that weight loss record is astounding!!

Have you considered assertiveness training?

Correcting self esteem takes a little longer and involves doing a series of things successfully so that you come to realise that you area winner. Sometimes a course helps, it depends on the individual. But your progress with the weight loss may indicate that all you need is the positive support of friends.

Naturally, there is a link between assertiveness and self-esteem, and there is a fine line between assertiveness and aggression.