Filthy answers to innocent questions.

“The End Of The Rainbow” is the name of the best sex club in the city. It’s at 65th and South Elm Street.

You should see the condoms they give away for free!

Why are there so many rainbows?
 
Do you want the job there for the upskirts or the smell of the soles? Is it really the right job for you, pretty difficult working with a hardon all day

Are unicorns real?
 
Do you want the job there for the upskirts or the smell of the soles? Is it really the right job for you, pretty difficult working with a hardon all day

Are unicorns real?
🎶Real as anything you’ve seen 🎶 while in the throes of your fifth major orgasm within the last hour.

Where can you get shoes for a unicorn?
 
The same place you buy it a ball gag and clamps!

Have you ever done handstands on a unicycle?
 
That's a new one to me, I'm guessing it's nothing like a rusty trumbone...?

How do you make a trumpet sound better?
Improve your tonguing and put more vibrato in your lips if want to make your strumpet sound better. Oh, you said 'trumpet;' it doesn't matter, it's the same for either.

Should you serve clotted cream with crumpets?
 
Improve your tonguing and put more vibrato in your lips if want to make your strumpet sound better. Oh, you said 'trumpet;' it doesn't matter, it's the same for either.

Should you serve clotted cream with crumpets?
Always. And the crumpets should be licked clean. And always swallowed.

Is there a wrong way to eat a creampuff?
 
Always. And the crumpets should be licked clean. And always swallowed.

Is there a wrong way to eat a creampuff?

Yes. By shoving it up your own ass.

Shoving it up your partner's ass, and then eating it from there is perfectly fine. And using it as a make-shift fleshlight is okay too, as long as you make sure that it's not a hot-pepper creampuff.

Which tastes better, a long john, an eclaire, or a cannoli?
 
Yes. By shoving it up your own ass.

Shoving it up your partner's ass, and then eating it from there is perfectly fine. And using it as a make-shift fleshlight is okay too, as long as you make sure that it's not a hot-pepper creampuff.

Which tastes better, a long john, an eclaire, or a cannoli?
My gf tells me it's like comparing apples and oranges; it's not a question of 'better;' it's a question of differences. She says John's long one is very hot and spicy, and great when your in the mood for a hot load, but a thick chocolate éclair offers a burst of sweet French cream. And a cannoli? Why she's says that's fantastic when you want some really thick sweet cream.

Why do the French call a 'Napoleon' une 'mille-feuilles?'
 
My gf tells me it's like comparing apples and oranges; it's not a question of 'better;' it's a question of differences. She says John's long one is very hot and spicy, and great when your in the mood for a hot load, but a thick chocolate éclair offers a burst of sweet French cream. And a cannoli? Why she's says that's fantastic when you want some really thick sweet cream.

Why do the French call a 'Napoleon' une 'mille-feuilles?'
The answer is complex. Apparently he was a little man with a very big dick. He's rumored to have had up to a thousand women between his sheets during his campaigns.

Why was Alexander great?
 
The answer is complex. Apparently he was a little man with a very big dick. He's rumored to have had up to a thousand women between his sheets during his campaigns.

Why was Alexander great?
I know his wife. She lied to him.

How many suits does Ironman have?
 
His cock got so flooded with pre-cum anytime he got hard that he would just slide in and out of anything without sticking.

Why was Bush Jr. called "Shrub?"

Why are they called shot glasses?

apparently the first one was a no go.
 
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Well really, if she didn't want his cum shot all over her glasses she should have taken them off. Still, better than getting cum in your contact lenses.

The slide or the swing?
 
Well really, if she didn't want his cum shot all over her glasses she should have taken them off. Still, better than getting cum in your contact lenses.

The slide or the swing?
Good question: The slide initially, gently but firmly.
The ultimate goal however, is to have them balls a-swingin' and a-slappin' with both of us a-whoopin' and a-hollerin' to wake the dead!

What about that bridge?
 
Good question: The slide initially, gently but firmly.
The ultimate goal however, is to have them balls a-swingin' and a-slappin' with both of us a-whoopin' and a-hollerin' to wake the dead!

What about that bridge?
I said...

When will they fix the bridge?
 
That's when your wife moons you in front of your son. I feel I have to add 'adult' son.

The eight year old boy walks up to his father and says "Hey, Dad. Do you know what happens during a solar eclipse?"

The father replies "No, son."

When is the next blue moon?

As soon as your online order for body paint arrives.

Why should sailors take warning when there's a red sun in the morning?
 
The eight year old boy walks up to his father and says "Hey, Dad. Do you know what happens during a solar eclipse?"

The father replies "No, son."



As soon as your online order for body paint arrives.

Why should sailors take warning when there's a red sun in the morning?
Because her husband came home from the night shift before you left, and he's seeing red at you in his bed.

How do you manage a ménage?
 
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