Coping with ADD and writing/life

[MillieDynamite]

I feel for you, sister.

I'm in a barren phase, mentally gridlocked by a half-formed novel that refuses to coalesce. Guilt gets old fast so I'm happy doing other stuff.

 

[AwkwardMD]

I'm in a barren phase, mentally gridlocked by a half-formed novel that refuses to coalesce. Guilt gets old fast so I'm happy doing other stuff.

I would be climbing the walls.

 

[MillieDynamite]

Oh, I'm in a funk right now as well. Can't really write on my own stuff. Not sure why. Maybe because I'm here too much.

 

[stickygirl]

I would be climbing the walls.

I get that and it's taken me a while to offload the guilt. I found, being able to forgive myself for not writing, quite empowering. I'm enjoying the process, like returning to a jigsaw to add one more piece.
I currently have a number of gorgeous bits of prose. I'm struggling to put them together and how to construct the complete work. I enjoy observing my subconscious figure things out, but also consciously spotting good ideas. It's a slow burn. I can write 1000 words in a hour, but this is different beast. I hope it going to happen, that the dam will burst and I'm ready to ride the wave.

 

[Bramblethorn]

By the way, while being autistic comes at a price, it is for sure a gift in others. Especially if you are like me and have incredibly rare special interest. You can achieve great things with manic hyperfocus/limited/rare interest.

I once stayed up until three in the morning on the night before an interview for a job I really wanted, because I came across an interesting logic puzzle and couldn't switch off until I'd solved it. Hyperfocus is only my friend when it's pointed in a useful direction.

 

[EmilyMiller]

I am a big softie and I just want to to give all of you so many hugs right now.

And kisses. I want kisses.

Em

 

[onehitwanda]

And kisses. I want kisses.

Em

You are impossible.

knock twice so I know it's you.

 

[Ssbbw4u1974]

I'm not exactly sure if I've developed ADD as an adult or not, but I definitely have BPD and bipolar 2..
I get lots of feedback saying my stories I have published here on lit are sexy, naughty, and great... But I'm also told my stories are too short.
I think if I wrote 1300 words, it's practically a novel.. LoL
I have a hard enough time with reading comprehension as it is, I don't have the patience for long stories...

 

[EmilyMiller]

You are impossible.

knock twice so I know it's you.

You know you love it

 

[ElectricBlue]

I get that and it's taken me a while to offload the guilt. I found, being able to forgive myself for not writing, quite empowering. I'm enjoying the process, like returning to a jigsaw to add one more piece.
I currently have a number of gorgeous bits of prose. I'm struggling to put them together and how to construct the complete work. I enjoy observing my subconscious figure things out, but also consciously spotting good ideas. It's a slow burn. I can write 1000 words in a hour, but this is different beast. I hope it going to happen, that the dam will burst and I'm ready to ride the wave.

Your gorgeous sentences are always delightful, and you know the bits in between always happen in their own good time. Don't fret, the sparrows will still gather .

 

[stickygirl]

Your gorgeous sentences are always delightful, and you know the bits in between always happen in their own good time. Don't fret, the sparrows will still gather .

My constant typos are a source of embarrassment. I was a whizz with spelling as a kid - Mum used to test me at home and I took a pride in it. Now I squirm when I see someone has quoted my words that are full of sparrows. I double check my posts but still they creep in. Grrr.

 

[ElectricBlue]

My constant typos are a source of embarrassment. I was a whizz with spelling as a kid - Mum used to test me at home and I took a pride in it. Now I squirm when I see someone has quoted my words that are full of sparrows. I double check my posts but still they creep in. Grrr.

But they're not there in your stories, you catch them.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Those who've already heard my rant about "functioning" labels, feel free to skip...

My big issue with "low/high-functioning", "only a little bit autistic", "autism"/"Aspergers" etc. etc. is that they almost always end up prioritising how other people experience one's autism. There's still an echo of the 1930s attitude that the most important question about autistic people is not whether we're happy but whether we're useful, or a burden on others.

View attachment 2284282

It's really easy to internalise that. I still struggle with recognising my own emotions, knowing when I'm stressed or sad or whatever, and I suspect some of that comes back to way too many formative experiences where I was taught that how I felt wasn't important, what mattered was being able to make other people feel comfortable. I see it in my partner even more than myself. One of my challenges with supporting autistic/ADHD colleagues at work is that so many don't even know what accommodations to ask for because they're just not used to being able to ask for what they need, even when it's easy things to give. People afraid that if they ask to get a copy of their job interviews in writing a few minutes before the live interview, they might seem unreasonable and demanding :-/

Been thinking about this…

When I do mention ASD, which is infrequent outside of PMs with friends (this thread is my first explicit reference I think; though I’ve made oblique ones before), it’s always “I have mild ASD” or “I’m pretty high functioning”. That might be medically correct, but…

I guess I never realized, that what I’m really saying is: “I don’t bite,” “I’m not that weird, honest,” “I promise not to murder you in your sleep,” and - most of all - “please don’t hate or ignore me.”

I’m not sure I’ll change what I say, but a different perspective.

Em

 

[stickygirl]

Been thinking about this…

When I do mention ASD, which is infrequent outside of PMs with friends (this thread is my first explicit reference I think; though I’ve made oblique ones before), it’s always “I have mild ASD” or “I’m pretty high functioning”. That might be medically correct, but…

I guess I never realized, that what I’m really saying is: “I don’t bite,” “I’m not that weird, honest,” “I promise not to murder you in your sleep,” and - most of all - “please don’t hate or ignore me.”

I’m not sure I’ll change what I say, but a different perspective.

Em

I've heard it described as 'you're either on fire or you're not'... I'm not sure who came up with that because I can imagine all sorts of different sized fires, temperatures and combustable material...

Depending on company I'll say 'I have autistic traits' and then maybe qualify that with '...and some of them are a pain in the ass'. I've just written an email apology to a colleague, because I had to leave their social function early and without saying goodbye. I wrote I find large gatherings very stressful, but on the night in question I was about to meltdown: loud voices were ricocheting off the walls, people were standing too close, I couldn't understand a fucking word anyone was saying and a folk band were threatening to start singing I stepped outside and took huge breaths of peaceful, cool night air. I almost considered going back in, but the idea of being a party jack-in-the-box was silly.

As you suggest, there's problem with using 'high/low functioning' because of the stigma. In the UK celebs are starting to open up about their mental issues in an attempt to de-stigmatise the issue. What fucks me off are the NT sceptics who crow about snowflakes and the me generation etc. Yes, we know you fought in three wars and people used to 'man-up' but many of your generation topped themselves and were never spoken of again: brushed under the carpet of history because suicide was shameful.

Temple Grandin bemoaned the cancelling of Asperger's as a label, pointing out that the name reflected the differing support groups needed. 'Autism' is too broad a descriptor for it to be appropriate in many situations. I'm fairly savvy to mental health terms, but the OP and other posters have educated me about ADD

 

[EmilyMiller]

I've heard it described as 'you're either on fire or you're not'... I'm not sure who came up with that because I can imagine all sorts of different sized fires, temperatures and combustable material...

Depending on company I'll say 'I have autistic traits' and then maybe qualify that with '...and some of them are a pain in the ass'. I've just written an email apology to a colleague, because I had to leave their social function early and without saying goodbye. I wrote I find large gatherings very stressful, but on the night in question I was about to meltdown: loud voices were ricocheting off the walls, people were standing too close, I couldn't understand a fucking word anyone was saying and a folk band were threatening to start singing I stepped outside and took huge breaths of peaceful, cool night air. I almost considered going back in, but the idea of being a party jack-in-the-box was silly.

As you suggest, there's problem with using 'high/low functioning' because of the stigma. In the UK celebs are starting to open up about their mental issues in an attempt to de-stigmatise the issue. What fucks me off are the NT sceptics who crow about snowflakes and the me generation etc. Yes, we know you fought in three wars and people used to 'man-up' but many of your generation topped themselves and were never spoken of again: brushed under the carpet of history because suicide was shameful.

Temple Grandin bemoaned the cancelling of Asperger's as a label, pointing out that the name reflected the differing support groups needed. 'Autism' is too broad a descriptor for it to be appropriate in many situations. I'm fairly savvy to mental health terms, but the OP and other posters have educated me about ADD

There is no single syndrome. It’s like saying every American is the same as all the rest

Em

 

[stickygirl]

I'm not exactly sure if I've developed ADD as an adult or not, but I definitely have BPD and bipolar 2..
I get lots of feedback saying my stories I have published here on lit are sexy, naughty, and great... But I'm also told my stories are too short.
I think if I wrote 1300 words, it's practically a novel.. LoL
I have a hard enough time with reading comprehension as it is, I don't have the patience for long stories...

You don't need to worry. I swung by and read one that was hawt girl. Sometimes a snack is all we need.

 

[touchofthebeast]

There is no single syndrome. It’s like saying every American is the same as all the rest

Em

All diagnostic criteria is a cluster of different symptoms as opposed to just black and white

 

[onehitwanda]

All diagnostic criteria is a cluster of different symptoms as opposed to just black and white

Everything's a continuum.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Everything's a continuum.

Are continua continua?

Em

 

[onehitwanda]

Are continua continua?

Em

continua continuum continuorum conundrum conundrum continuinipuss.

 

[EmilyMiller]

I’d like to pick continuinpuss please

 

[touchofthebeast]

I’d like to pick continuinpuss please

I'd like to take Continuinpuss for $500

 

[onehitwanda]

I’d like to pick continuinpuss please

You are such a wicked girl.

 

[EmilyMiller]

You are such a wicked girl.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Oh shit, I’m derailing a thread.

Do as I say forumettes, not as I do .

Em