Coping with ADD and writing/life

[MillieDynamite]

I am a bit slow on the uptake today. Umm, is that damn faucet dripping again? Anyway, it was nice, um, nice. We can talk later.

Sorry I'm late but there was a dog playing in the park.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Why are the hugging people so cold? Unless

I guess they're hugging because they're blue, da ba dee, da ba di.

 

[darkride]

....Put name cards on everyone's desk ....

I hate names...

I know very much that when I open my mouth and words come out, nouns have a tendency to get jumbled. "Go put your clothing in the dishwasher, kids", is the type of thing I'm known to say. But proper nouns are worse, because I hate to get someone's name wrong. The name card image made me picture an event I was at recently, with a whole bunch of groups of people, with 1 person from each group having to introduce each other person from that group to the crowd. "I'm John, this is Paula, Jyoti, and that's Edgar," for example. (And... coming up with those 4 random names just took me 2 minutes...)

Knowing however that I stuff up nouns when I speak them... yeah, absolutely hate when I randomly meet someone in public, and I am with other people, and then there's that expectation of - "Oh, and who is this?" And my mind just goes blank - Arrrrgggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Worse still if I actually can't think of the person's name.

Fixate on 6 words from someone else's post? Achieved.

 

[stickygirl]

I hate names...

I know very much that when I open my mouth and words come out, nouns have a tendency to get jumbled. "Go put your clothing in the dishwasher, kids", is the type of thing I'm known to say. But proper nouns are worse, because I hate to get someone's name wrong. The name card image made me picture an event I was at recently, with a whole bunch of groups of people, with 1 person from each group having to introduce each other person from that group to the crowd. "I'm John, this is Paula, Jyoti, and that's Edgar," for example. (And... coming up with those 4 random names just took me 2 minutes...)

Knowing however that I stuff up nouns when I speak them... yeah, absolutely hate when I randomly meet someone in public, and I am with other people, and then there's that expectation of - "Oh, and who is this?" And my mind just goes blank - Arrrrgggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Worse still if I actually can't think of the person's name.

Fixate on 6 words from someone else's post? Achieved.

Proper nouns raise my stress levels. I know as a situation develops where I'm going to have remember a name, my adrenaline kicks into fight or flight mode.
The sailing world is littered with beautiful nouns but I've given up trying to rely on my brain to produce them on cue. My noun-recall is like an old lady with a box full of word labels who reacts with a jolt when asked, sending the words cascading 'Just a minute, love. It's here somewhere... "string, rope, long thing, puller, twine, balloon? Any good?" By this time listeners have given up or someone may offer 'Isn't it called a halyard?'

 

[Bighammerfucker]

I once stayed up until three in the morning on the night before an interview for a job I really wanted, because I came across an interesting logic puzzle and couldn't switch off until I'd solved it. Hyperfocus is only my friend when it's pointed in a useful direction.

This exactly. When I’m in my worst RE: hyperfixation, I don’t feel in control of my mind at all. It won’t even be on something I care abt per se, but I lack the executive function to MAKE my brain do what it SHOULD do, even things I WANT to do, and know would help me break out of it. I get decision paralysis on top of executive dysfunction so when it’s bad I’ve been in tears on occasion over the amount of things I WANT to do but mentally organizing each step and deciding to do them overwhelms me so much I can’t deal. Of course that’s the worst times, but yeah, it can be super rough

 

[darkride]

This exactly. When I’m in my worst RE: hyperfixation, I don’t feel in control of my mind at all. It won’t even be on something I care abt per se, but I lack the executive function to MAKE my brain do what it SHOULD do, even things I WANT to do, and know would help me break out of it. I get decision paralysis on top of executive dysfunction so when it’s bad I’ve been in tears on occasion over the amount of things I WANT to do but mentally organizing each step and deciding to do them overwhelms me so much I can’t deal. Of course that’s the worst times, but yeah, it can be super rough

I need more emojis... "Sad" isn't exactly right, empathy is what I'd rather express, but it is sadness too that we have brains that do that to us, and then someone goes and asks - what did you do today? And answering - I fought with my demons all day and achieved nothing - isn't something that tends to go down well, especially when you have a list of things you should have done...


I have a debilitating skin problem... and when I think about me and hyperfixation - I go back to 1993 when I was lacking the "modern" scientific understandings and breakthroughs and a GOOD dermatologist... and my skin was just... Anyways, I used a computer game to fixate my attention deliberately for hours because it required both hands, and so whilst fixated on that, it was harder to scratch and tear my skin apart. So - it's a double edged sword. I've also used my fixation superpower to get things I've wanted in life, although to be realistic - there's probably a lot more things I've not achieved than have achieved...

 

[Bighammerfucker]

I need more emojis... "Sad" isn't exactly right, empathy is what I'd rather express, but it is sadness too that we have brains that do that to us, and then someone goes and asks - what did you do today? And answering - I fought with my demons all day and achieved nothing - isn't something that tends to go down well, especially when you have a list of things you should have done...


I have a debilitating skin problem... and when I think about me and hyperfixation - I go back to 1993 when I was lacking the "modern" scientific understandings and breakthroughs and a GOOD dermatologist... and my skin was just... Anyways, I used a computer game to fixate my attention deliberately for hours because it required both hands, and so whilst fixated on that, it was harder to scratch and tear my skin apart. So - it's a double edged sword. I've also used my fixation superpower to get things I've wanted in life, although to be realistic - there's probably a lot more things I've not achieved than have achieved...

You’re right it can be like a superpower! I actually have more in common with autism than ADHD outright (though yes I have both), so for me I have special interests in addition to tendency to hyperfixate, which are so incredible that it makes up for the shittiness and are really like a superpower, because it’s a topic that never burns out of giving you joy and can really light your life. Often they’re lifelong, my strongest one I’ve had for almost 10 years and sometimes I swear I’m ever more enthusiastic than even back then

I’m sorry about your skin. Stims like picking can be rough. I suffer from that sometimes also.

My ADHD almost mimics bipolar - does anyone else get that? I get super high highs where I’m super productive and enthusiastic. Those are the times when I can choose my hyperfocus and channel it into productivity. Sometimes I go too hard with it because I know it won’t stay so I push and push myself to extremes. It leads me to live a life others externally see as being quite extreme, and sometimes I am very unsure if this is just ADHD, or also mania. When I crash I never get emotional depression, just the modes I described above.

 

[Bramblethorn]

You’re right it can be like a superpower! I actually have more in common with autism than ADHD outright (though yes I have both), so for me I have special interests in addition to tendency to hyperfixate, which are so incredible that it makes up for the shittiness and are really like a superpower, because it’s a topic that never burns out of giving you joy and can really light your life.

One of my issues with the medical model of autism is that it's all built around negatives. The fact that I can get hours of bliss from one song on repeat has to be either framed as somehow bad (stop enjoying that so much!) or just ignored. Which then makes it harder to recognise autism because we're only looking at half the picture.

Some of my hyperfocus is directed towards topics that helped me get through school and make me employable. That makes me luckier than somebody else whose hyperfocus is less marketable, but I don't see how it makes me less autistic.

 

[yowser]

I hate names...


Knowing however that I stuff up nouns when I speak them... yeah, absolutely hate when I randomly meet someone in public, and I am with other people, and then there's that expectation of - "Oh, and who is this?" And my mind just goes blank - Arrrrgggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Worse still if I actually can't think of the person's name.

Fixate on 6 words from someone else's post? Achieved.

I'm glad you used this example, since I think it is a common one amongst most the rest of the population too, and might be a good way to explain things to those who might have trouble imagining neuro-difficulties.

Every time I talk to colleagues and mention the fear I have that when walking across campus with one friend, then meeting another, that I will reach back in the memory quiver to do introductions and draw a blank... wait, I can name your dog, where your kids are going to college, how many years you've been married... but your name? Gone and more elusive than a watermelon seed, harder to grasp the harder you try to get it. Everyone shakes their head in agreement, they can relate.

 

[darkride]

I'm glad you used this example, since I think it is a common one amongst most the rest of the population too, and might be a good way to explain things to those who might have trouble imagining neuro-difficulties.

Every time I talk to colleagues and mention the fear I have that when walking across campus with one friend, then meeting another, that I will reach back in the memory quiver to do introductions and draw a blank... wait, I can name your dog, where your kids are going to college, how many years you've been married... but your name? Gone and more elusive than a watermelon seed, harder to grasp the harder you try to get it. Everyone shakes their head in agreement, they can relate.

Interesting! Have always kinda just figured that was me.

 

[Stimtheone]

Sometimes I think I do have ADHD. For a while I thought it was "you're incapable of paying attention" but later I found out it was more "all or nothing", as in you have something that draws your attention and it has all of it. Maybe not that bad, but I do cruise from obsession to obsession. And I manage. DE was written with such an obsession, just one straight month of nothing but writing even when the flu literally knocked me out for a few days, other times I have to remind myself to do it. But I manage. If something else draws my attention I think of it as just helping with that, taking the time when playing games to go and think more about it... or let games help with imagining ideas, like how I've been playing Stellaris to help with the idea gathering for Rise of the Star.

 

[stickygirl]

Sometimes I think I do have ADHD. For a while I thought it was "you're incapable of paying attention" but later I found out it was more "all or nothing", as in you have something that draws your attention and it has all of it.

That's what I've learned from this thread and you've coined it perfectly imo.

Maybe not that bad, but I do cruise from obsession to obsession. And I manage. DE was written with such an obsession, just one straight month of nothing but writing even when the flu literally knocked me out for a few days, other times I have to remind myself to do it. But I manage. If something else draws my attention I think of it as just helping with that, taking the time when playing games to go and think more about it... or let games help with imagining ideas, like how I've been playing Stellaris to help with the idea gathering for Rise of the Star.

Reading these various accounts I can recognise elements of ADHD in myself, but not enough to cause me a problem, which is the whole point - I'm sure most people in the street would identify with certain characteristics. Perhaps the diagnostic threshold is when it becomes debilitating or interferes with whatever a 'normal' life should be? That threshold is surely fuzzy too - swinging from an irritation to I can make it to the front door or even get out of bed, depending some internal or external triggers.

 

[darkride]

Being human is tough

Being human is indeed tough!

Not the first adverb I was going to go with...

(Googles adverb before using it so as not to look silly.)

I was going to say more... and the more ran away. I'll check the cutlery later.