ASSHAT AWARDS: Even more of the Best of the Worst PMs & emails received

[ToPleaseHim]

A certain new poster who thinks BDSM Talk is personals.

No, I will not ride your BBC for “u” because I mentioned I like my DDs slapped. Freaking slob. I don’t know you, that’s how you come at a woman?

Ugh. .

 

[KimGordon67]

A certain new poster who thinks BDSM Talk is personals.

No, I will not ride your BBC for “u” because I mentioned I like my DDs slapped. Freaking slob. I don’t know you, that’s how you come at a woman?

People who spell 'you' with one letter should be instantly banned.

 

[Bramblethorn]

People who spell 'you' with one letter should be instantly banned.

exception for Prince and Sinead O'Connor, but otherwise yes.

 

[KimGordon67]

exception for Prince and Sinead O'Connor, but otherwise yes.

Actually, and Nick Cave.
(I suspect these are exceptions we'll never have to actually invoke.)

 

[seela]

Ladies and gentlemen,

it took almost 9 years, but I have just received my first ever dick pic!

I can now retire, my Lit experience is complete.

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

Ladies and gentlemen,

it took almost 9 years, but I have just received my first ever dick pic!

I can now retire, my Lit experience is complete.

Aww welcome to the sisterhood!

 

[Dejah_thoris_of_Mars]

Does it have to have occurred on the Lit forum? Because I once got a fucked up email when I was subscribed to a dating website.

 

[seela]

Aww welcome to the sisterhood!

Thank you! I feel older and wiser now.

So where do I send my address to have the Dick Pic Sisterhood decoder ring mailed to me?

 

[PrettyLilPussy19]

Thank you! I feel older and wiser now.

So where do I send my address to have the Dick Pic Sisterhood decoder ring mailed to me?

I think you know!
*coughSkypecough*

 

[seela]

Does it have to have occurred on the Lit forum? Because I once got a fucked up email when I was subscribed to a dating website.

I have received dick pics elsewhere, too. Just never here until now.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

I just watched Amy Schumer’s new special and she advised only responding with another dick pic. Confuses em.

 

[Bramblethorn]

I just watched Amy Schumer’s new special and she advised only responding with another dick pic. Confuses em.

I liked the lady who made a habit of replying with things like "that lump doesn't look right, you need to get that checked out urgently".

 

[AlwaysFara]

I liked the lady who made a habit of replying with things like "that lump doesn't look right, you need to get that checked out urgently".

Or the one who said,
“Why are you sending me pics of a baby’s penis???”

 

[Dejah_thoris_of_Mars]

When I was on a subscription dating site, I had a lady contact me and tell me that I was very attractive and was exactly what she was looking for. (despite my profile saying that I was straight)

I thanked her for the compliment and said that I was straight. She wrote back asking if I would consider trying to date women. I said no thank you, I am straight. She asked if we could meet just so that she could kiss me and perhaps I might like it. I said no thank you again.

All I could think was that it is was bordering on harassment and that if it was a dude I would have reported him. Thankfully, I never heard back from her but it still irritated me that I didn't call her on her conduct.

I suppose it isn't terrible, but I was surprised that a woman would act like that.

 

[Threadbare42]

When I was on a subscription dating site, I had a lady contact me and tell me that I was very attractive and was exactly what she was looking for. (despite my profile saying that I was straight)

I thanked her for the compliment and said that I was straight. She wrote back asking if I would consider trying to date women. I said no thank you, I am straight. She asked if we could meet just so that she could kiss me and perhaps I might like it. I said no thank you again.

All I could think was that it is was bordering on harassment and that if it was a dude I would have reported him. Thankfully, I never heard back from her but it still irritated me that I didn't call her on her conduct.

I suppose it isn't terrible, but I was surprised that a woman would act like that.

Same standards apply regardless of gender, it's just scummy behaviour. Don't do it.

 

[Dejah_thoris_of_Mars]

Same standards apply regardless of gender, it's just scummy behaviour. Don't do it.

That's the way I feel about it. I'm not particularly offended by catcalling or sexual compliments from strangers but honestly, I've had more women walk that line than men. I have no idea what to make of my particular experience but there it is.

 

[CuteSlaveLisa]

Ladies and gentlemen,

it took almost 9 years, but I have just received my first ever dick pic!

I can now retire, my Lit experience is complete.

Does the one I got count? I had to throw it back as it did not make the Department of Natural Resources minimum size limit. ;-)

Lisa Ann

 

[Cumference]

Ladies and gentlemen,

it took almost 9 years, but I have just received my first ever dick pic!

I can now retire, my Lit experience is complete.

Congrats! (I think)


“How cute! It looks like a penis, just smaller!”
Was a possible reply.



“Dork, I can still see the exif-data!”
Was another and maybe even meaner one.

 

[Dejah_thoris_of_Mars]

Congrats! (I think)


“How cute! It looks like a penis, just smaller!”
Was a possible reply.



“Dork, I can still see the exif-data!”
Was another and maybe even meaner one.

I saw something on Imgur (a cringey text meme) where the girl asked if the photo was a pic of a baby penis and threatened to report him for sending child pr0n.

 

[Pocketshaver]

for the amount of john carter fans on literotica, I would have thought I would have seen some fan fiction of the series.

 

[Dejah_thoris_of_Mars]

for the amount of john carter fans on literotica, I would have thought I would have seen some fan fiction of the series.

Huh. Wonder why that is. It would be excellent fodder for pretty much every kink out there.

 

[seela]

Congrats! (I think)


“How cute! It looks like a penis, just smaller!”
Was a possible reply.



“Dork, I can still see the exif-data!”
Was another and maybe even meaner one.

The pic actually had his face showing too, so it probably wouldn't have been all that difficult to find out who he is.

 

[Veronica100]

i got this message today from a lit'ster:

You sound delicious. Fancy a chat with a horny 6' 2", well endowed, black guy from London?

so i replied with:

note my signature line!

and got:

There was nothing risqué in my message. Simply a formal introduction. Good evening, Veronica.

hmm, so 1. i guess it's not risque to suggest one is "horny" or "well endowed" or that someone sounds "delicious" so of course i knew any conversation resulting from "fancy a chat" would be nothing short of g-rated.

and 2. if that's a formal introduction i'd hate to have been in his office on his first day of work - yikes!

 

[AlwaysFara]

i got this message today from a lit'ster:

You sound delicious. Fancy a chat with a horny 6' 2", well endowed, black guy from London?

so i replied with:

note my signature line!

and got:

There was nothing risqué in my message. Simply a formal introduction. Good evening, Veronica.

hmm, so 1. i guess it's not risque to suggest one is "horny" or "well endowed" or that someone sounds "delicious" so of course i knew any conversation resulting from "fancy a chat" would be nothing short of g-rated.

and 2. if that's a formal introduction i'd hate to have been in his office on his first day of work - yikes!

Doesn’t sound too “formal” to me.

Asshat.

 

[TANSTAAFL58]

I enjoy and cringe at this thread. It should be required reading for all new members before they are permitted to send PMs.

Does anyone think that would change things?