ASSHAT AWARDS: Even more of the Best of the Worst PMs & emails received

[Farawyn]

I wonder if "super super wow" is a step up or down from "super wow wow wow".

I also wonder where he's seen my boobs.

Ahahhaaaaaa!!!

 

[bluekitty69]

Received this one....read your profile...you have a variety of sexually interests.
My replay...thank you? I think?...

 

[seela]

So I asked this guy about the exchange rate between super super wow and super wow wow wow, because of course I did. Somehow super super wow feels like a step down from super wow wow wow, so I had to find out.

And this is what he answered:

who are you idk u

I can't believe he doesn't even remember sending me that message. Now I'm not sure my boobs are even super super wow, let alone super wow wow wow. Way to crush a girl's self esteem, jerk.

 

[Darkrhytm]

So I asked this guy about the exchange rate between super super wow and super wow wow wow, because of course I did. Somehow super super wow feels like a step down from super wow wow wow, so I had to find out.

And this is what he answered:



I can't believe he doesn't even remember sending me that message. Now I'm not sure my boobs are even super super wow, let alone super wow wow wow. Way to crush a girl's self esteem, jerk.

Clearly it’s super super wow wow WOW!

 

[seela]

Clearly it’s super super wow wow WOW!

Haha, clearly!

 

[Blue]

From r/creepypms, not sent to me.
I thought it was funny so I guess I'm a terrible person.

>"Hi baby are you a high school because I'd love to shoot some kids inside you"
<"That's horrible dude! Are you OK? Like actually ok? I'm worried."
>"Well since you legitimately care no I'm not ok. I'm driving through pouring rain going 30 under the speed limit life is terrible."

 

[KimGordon67]

From r/creepypms, not sent to me.
I thought it was funny so I guess I'm a terrible person.

>"Hi baby are you a high school because I'd love to shoot some kids inside you"
<"That's horrible dude! Are you OK? Like actually ok? I'm worried."
>"Well since you legitimately care no I'm not ok. I'm driving through pouring rain going 30 under the speed limit life is terrible."

I smiled wryly. What a weird exchange.

 

[Blue]

My latest fascination is with creepy PMs and self-professed "nice guys". There are a bunch of popular subreddits that serve the same essential purpose as this thread but they have so much richer content.

Example A, messages sent by a creepy total rando to a woman he doesn't know last Saturday and his response to not getting a reply by today:

https://i.imgur.com/pz6UzyJ.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/DhAPgRV.jpg

 

[cookiecat]

On another site I got a picture of a bathroom selfie from a naked guy. He wrote: what do you think of this?

I wrote back:. Clean your bathroom.

Today I just got a message back. He cleaned his bathroom!!

That deserves a super wow!

 

[formertroll]

On another site I got a picture of a bathroom selfie from a naked guy. He wrote: what do you think of this?

I wrote back:. Clean your bathroom.

Today I just got a message back. He cleaned his bathroom!!

That deserves a super wow!

this reminds me of the blogger who posted a selfie on her tinder from the bathroom and the bulk of her unwanted PMs were about the direction of her toilet paper roll.

 

[cookiecat]

On a different kinky site where I used the journals to write about loss of D/s, loss of intimacy since it was a difficult subject to broach with friends, I got this message:

Dated: 8/5/18 9:26 AM
What a classless, uneducated, fucked up loser. You write all that bullshit as if anybody cares. You are a nobody.

From a guy my age looking for a LTR and calls himself an old-fashioned gentleman. I have a pretty thick skin for online insults from strangers. But still. What the heck??

My profile is clear I'm not seeking anything, it's very slim.

 

[Farawyn]

On a different kinky site where I used the journals to write about loss of D/s, loss of intimacy since it was a difficult subject to broach with friends, I got this message:



From a guy my age looking for a LTR and calls himself an old-fashioned gentleman. I have a pretty thick skin for online insults from strangers. But still. What the heck??

My profile is clear I'm not seeking anything, it's very slim.

Wonder why such a charmer is alone?

 

[ToPleaseHim]

Anyone else get this one?

Hey. I want you to see how I caress myself in the ass. Write Whatsapp +redacted

 

[cookiecat]

I know it's hard to believe, but I rarely get PM's. Which I'm ok with. I got this tonight:

poly husband and wife with young runaway
When the kids moved out my wife and i had wanted to have a fantasy life. When a girl just 18 asked for spare change we offered a place to sleep. She was a wild girl with pink hair and tatoos but the looks and body of a young teen. We began by bathing her and giving her a pair of boxers and a t shirt. She said she was 18 and now able to let others have what her dad tried to take. I asked my wife if she was ok with me getting turned on by another and she said she was so wet to get a chance to see a teenager get my once in a lifetime penis that was too big for her to handle alone.

I posted a couple of replies in a Poly thread in the PG. How does this equate with someone thinking I want an unsolicited PM? (Rhetorical)

Plus. Gross.

 

[KimGordon67]

I know it's hard to believe, but I rarely get PM's. Which I'm ok with. I got this tonight:



I posted a couple of replies in a Poly thread in the PG. How does this equate with someone thinking I want an unsolicited PM? (Rhetorical)

Plus. Gross.

Yeah, I always find this weird. Because of my poly/kink thread, every now and then I'll get a pm of someone's tangentially related story. I can never work out why they don't post in the thread - it's clearly there for conversation.
though in this instance I suspect the reason is because this is gross, and probably untrue. What response could he be expecting?

 

[cookiecat]

Yeah, I always find this weird. Because of my poly/kink thread, every now and then I'll get a pm of someone's tangentially related story. I can never work out why they don't post in the thread - it's clearly there for conversation.
though in this instance I suspect the reason is because this is gross, and probably untrue. What response could he be expecting?

Oh baby that was so hot, let's get on cam and discuss!

 

[KimGordon67]

Oh baby that was so hot, let's get on cam and discuss!

Which is, of course, exactly what happened.

 

[KimGordon67]

(Also, if she was 18, she wasn't a 'runaway' - she'd just left home.)

 

[KimGordon67]

I hope this message finds you well. Would you be interested in partaking in a conversation via private messages on here? I am not looking for pictures or videos, simply just talking. I would love to learn more about your interests, and why you joined lit. I for one, found lit in a strange way.

Additionally, please feel free to ask me anything as I am a very open person. I hope I get the chance to talk with you, but if you choose not to respond, I hope you have a great day.​

Possibly the third time I've received exactly this PM ... pretty much everything in here is precisely how to NOT make someone you're messaging feel like responding positive. I guess at least there wasn't a dick pic?

 

[AlwaysFara]

Someone I’ve never someone dirty with, and actually, have never spoken to other than a few PMs almost a year ago, PMs me out of the blue and says he loves my words and he’s giving me a big kiss on the pussy.

Fuck. Off.

 

[AlwaysFara]

So, he says maybe he has the wrong person. I say, even if you do, you don’t say hi like that.

He goes on to explain that Lit is an erotic site and that some women would just love “virtual cunnilingus”.
Well, gee, thanks, Rapey McFuckstick, i guess i will get my legs open!!!

Seriously. Why are men (sorry, never received a PM like this from a woman) such entitled fucktards???

 

[wisman50]

I would say some men are fucktards... and they fuck it up for the rest of us.... Women are afraid to share emails, etc. because assholes like him stalk them online....

No means no online and in person....

Hope I am not a fucktard...

 

[AlwaysFara]

I would say some men are fucktards... and they fuck it up for the rest of us.... Women are afraid to share emails, etc. because assholes like him stalk them online....

No means no online and in person....

Hope I am not a fucktard...

Just don’t be. It’s pretty easy.
And, no. I’m not scared. Just kind of grossed out. And feeling some pity for him.

 

[cookiecat]

I would say some men are fucktards... and they fuck it up for the rest of us.... Women are afraid to share emails, etc. because assholes like him stalk them online....

No means no online and in person....

Hope I am not a fucktard...

Just don’t be. It’s pretty easy.
And, no. I’m not scared. Just kind of grossed out. And feeling some pity for him.

Don't think other guys fuck it up for you.

Fara's right. It's sooooooooooooo easy. Here's a lesson on sending your first PM -

You can choose the following:

1. Hi. Love your AV. Why'd you choose that one?
2. I saw your post in the "what pissed you off" thread - hope you're having a better day
3. I love your glitter & gold thread, cookie! The pictures you pick are awesome.
4. You posted some interesting information about humiliation - would you mind if I asked you a few questions?

You get the picture. Better yet, no PM's. Just post in a thread. That's the best way to get to know people around here.

 

[AlwaysFara]

A certain new poster who thinks BDSM Talk is personals.

No, I will not ride your BBC for “u” because I mentioned I like my DDs slapped. Freaking slob. I don’t know you, that’s how you come at a woman?