American seeking to write woman from Yorkshire better

[AwkwardlySet]

But those are blends, not flavours!

An important distinction!

 

[onehitwanda]

We could throw in the sugar, milk and look - dunking cookies. Cookies!!

Jesus Christ, give the man a biscuit before you murder him, will you?

 

[stickygirl]

Jesus Christ, give the man a biscuit before you murder him, will you?

I'd best go and have a happy sleep tea

 

[Kumquatqueen]

An important distinction!

Vital. They're all tea flavoured.

One for the 'what throws you out of a story' thread, but there's a horribly large amount of otherwise-good fanfic set in the UK where a foreign author has mastered the 'I'll make a nice cup of tea' response to any level of emergency, but then offers the victim a mug of chamomile tea, honey and lemon, or some even worse concoction.

If the Brit doesn't rouse and go "what the fuck is this?", it's inauthentic.

People buy Yorkshire Tea, PG Tips, or a supermarket own brand. Even English Breakfast is a wee bit posh. You'd get that in Betty's (an excellent chain of tearooms, but so they should be, the amount they charge...)

The spouse is still traumatised by the time we ended up very jet-lagged at an event in San Francisco, where there was a Lipton's stall and a perky lass offered me a tea. She was insistent that America did good tea now. A few minutes later it transpired that yes, she had over 50 flavours of 'tea' but not one was tea flavoured.

I ranted. For quite a long articulate time, I'm told. And then was given a coffee.

 

[onehitwanda]

mug of chamomile tea, honey and lemon, or some even worse concoction.

 

[lavendersilk]

Vital. They're all tea flavoured.

One for the 'what throws you out of a story' thread, but there's a horribly large amount of otherwise-good fanfic set in the UK where a foreign author has mastered the 'I'll make a nice cup of tea' response to any level of emergency, but then offers the victim a mug of chamomile tea, honey and lemon, or some even worse concoction.

If the Brit doesn't rouse and go "what the fuck is this?", it's inauthentic.

People buy Yorkshire Tea, PG Tips, or a supermarket own brand. Even English Breakfast is a wee bit posh. You'd get that in Betty's (an excellent chain of tearooms, but so they should be, the amount they charge...)

The spouse is still traumatised by the time we ended up very jet-lagged at an event in San Francisco, where there was a Lipton's stall and a perky lass offered me a tea. She was insistent that America did good tea now. A few minutes later it transpired that yes, she had over 50 flavours of 'tea' but not one was tea flavoured.

I ranted. For quite a long articulate time, I'm told. And then was given a coffee.

I think Lipton tea is only good for iced tea with so much sugar in it you can't tell if it is bad or not. If you want a hot cup, I personally like Twinings brand.

*hides in America*

 

[EmilyMiller]

I’m going to have a scene where Eden makes bad tea for Michele. Again it’s a Mike Flanagan homage - as is a lot of the story.

Em

 

[onehitwanda]

I’m going to have a scene where Eden makes bad tea for Michele. Again it’s a Mike Flanagan homage - as is a lot of the story.

Em

I am here for this. I am invested. My body is ready.

 

[EmilyMiller]

I personally like Twinings brand.

*hides in America*

I have a box of Twinings Everyday somewhere.

Em

 

[EmilyMiller]

I’m going to have a scene where Eden makes bad tea for Michele. Again it’s a Mike Flanagan homage - as is a lot of the story.

Em

Without any of the horror elements (apart from my prose that is, I have used “plantar aponeurosis” already in Chapter 2 ).

Em

 

[oneagainst]

But aren't most of your teas mixed anyway? English Breakfast, Irish Breakfast, Earl Grey, Russian Caravan? And I think it's common for people to add milk and sugar at the table?

There's Proper Tea, from Harrogate, and nowt else worth bothering about. The missus drank Earl Grey when I first met her, and refused to convert. Still a sore point... bloody Southern lemon-flavoured dishwater.

 

[joy_of_cooking]

I went to a place once that did something they called "high tea." They brought out what looked like a gallon of tea, all in one pot, with the leaves in and no strainer. I asked how they kept it from over-steeping and the waiter said they didn't. She offered to add more water if it became too bitter, though.

Of course, I've done worse at home plenty of times, but I was simply gobsmacked to see it at a place that claimed to be charging me for the tea. (And dearly too, at least by my fairly modest standards. No idea what patrons of Betty's would say.)

I was used to a tea tradition where Serious Tea was all about multiple quick steeps, to capture narrow slices of the evolution of the leaves.

The little cakes were neat, though. They came very prettily arranged on this multi-tiered rack the waiter lifted onto our table.

 

[TheRedChamber]

If anyone feels like critiquing my prose, feel free. In my defense, I’m aping Mike Flanagan trying to write someone from Manchester, not Sheffield (I know that’s like someone confusing Ohio and Pennsylvania).

—

“Right, Sums is it?” The woman, whom Eden guessed was Huisman, had an English accent, but not one that she could place.

“Sums?”

“You’re the new maths teacher, right?”

“Oh, I see, sums. Yes, that’s me. Eden Baker. And you must be Miss Huisman.”

“Michele. Call me Michele.” The two women shook hands. Huisman was a vigorous shaker.

“I’m sorry if I’m being rude, but your accent. What part of England?”

“The UK, Sums. It’s not just England. My family were originally Dutch, but we’ve lived in God’s own country for generations.”

“I’m sorry, where?”

“Yorkshire, Sums. Sheffield to be precise.” She smiled, a wide and friendly smile. “Don’t worry, I seldom bite. Unless…” she left the word hanging, still holding Eden’s hand as she spoke.

Ok, so dangerously assuming that your post is only part-troll and you do indeed want some feedback on this...

Some of the nationality stuff seems a little off to me. There's no reason why a Dutch family might not move to the UK, but it's not the sort of thing that would come up instantly in an introductory converstation three+ generations later. The whole 'I'm three-parts Irish, two-parts Cherokee with a sprinkling of Sicilian' is more of an American way of looking at things. Similarly the whole UK/England thing is something that might rile up a Scotish or Welsh person, but isn't going to bother a northern. 'What part of England?' implies that the speaker has correctly identified that they're English but can't tell the difference between Scouse, Geordie etc. A lot of immigrants who live in England tend to identify more as British than English, but, again, it's not likely to apply so much to a white Yorkshirefied multi-generational immigrant.

Secondly a couple of the phrases lean 'posh'. For example, 'I seldom bite' doesn't have the plain speaking tone that Northerns are famous for. 'I don't bite' or 'It's not like I bite' might be better. 'To be precise' might be better as 'to be exact.' (don't ask me why one is less posh than the other, just is...)

For what it's worth, I did a story set on the Yorkshire Moors a while back. The problem with accents is its fun to go over the top with them and then you end up second guessing yourself as you try to reign it in.

(Full disclosure, technically I'm a Yorkshireman born, but not bred, as I moved out of the area at the age of one year old)

 

[EmilyMiller]

Hi,

The Dutch thing is to amuse me. It’s impossible to tell from this except but many of the characters are gender swapped versions of actors in The Haunting of Hill House. Michele Housman = Michiel Huisman. Victor Pedretti = Victoria Pedretti. And so on. These things amuse only me, I know.

And it’s meant to reflect the character Jamie from The Haunting of Bly Manor. She’s a Mancunian written by an American. I was going for the same inauthentic vibe.

I get too bored writing unless I add these little things in.

Em

 

[EmilyMiller]

Ok, so dangerously assuming that your post is only part-troll and you do indeed want some feedback on this...

Some of the nationality stuff seems a little off to me. There's no reason why a Dutch family might not move to the UK, but it's not the sort of thing that would come up instantly in an introductory converstation three+ generations later. The whole 'I'm three-parts Irish, two-parts Cherokee with a sprinkling of Sicilian' is more of an American way of looking at things. Similarly the whole UK/England thing is something that might rile up a Scotish or Welsh person, but isn't going to bother a northern. 'What part of England?' implies that the speaker has correctly identified that they're English but can't tell the difference between Scouse, Geordie etc. A lot of immigrants who live in England tend to identify more as British than English, but, again, it's not likely to apply so much to a white Yorkshirefied multi-generational immigrant.

Secondly a couple of the phrases lean 'posh'. For example, 'I seldom bite' doesn't have the plain speaking tone that Northerns are famous for. 'I don't bite' or 'It's not like I bite' might be better. 'To be precise' might be better as 'to be exact.' (don't ask me why one is less posh than the other, just is...)

For what it's worth, I did a story set on the Yorkshire Moors a while back. The problem with accents is its fun to go over the top with them and then you end up second guessing yourself as you try to reign it in.

(Full disclosure, technically I'm a Yorkshireman born, but not bred, as I moved out of the area at the age of one year old)

Hi,

The Dutch thing is to amuse me. It’s impossible to tell from just this excerpt but many of the characters are gender swapped versions of the actors in The Haunting of Hill House. Michele Huisman = Michiel Huisman. Victor Pedretti = Victoria Pedretti. And so on. These things amuse only me, I know.

And it’s meant to reflect the character Jamie from The Haunting of Bly Manor. She’s a Mancunian written by an American. I was going for the same inauthentic vibe.

I get too bored writing unless I add these little things in.

Em

 

[TheRedChamber]

Hi,

The Dutch thing is to amuse me. It’s impossible to tell from just this excerpt but many of the characters are gender swapped versions of the actors in The Haunting of Hill House. Michele Huisman = Michiel Huisman. Victor Pedretti = Victoria Pedretti. And so on. These things amuse only me, I know.

And it’s meant to reflect the character Jamie from The Haunting of Bly Manor. She’s a Mancunian written by an American. I was going for the same inauthentic vibe.

I get too bored writing unless I add these little things in.

Em

Oh, right you are then, pet.

(Hark at this one with her la-di-dah, posher than thou literary references. In my day, we were lucky to have even one layer of irony in our erotic literature...)

 

[EmilyMiller]

Oh, right you are then, pet.

(Hark at this one with her la-di-dah, posher than thou literary references. In my day, we were lucky to have even one layer of irony in our erotic literature...)

In addition, Jamie is played by an English actress, but one from London. And the “English” Bly Manor is actually in Vancouver. I was trying to capture the vibe. Again, for my own amusement primarily.

Em

 

[SimonDoom]

I think Lipton tea is only good for iced tea with so much sugar in it you can't tell if it is bad or not. If you want a hot cup, I personally like Twinings brand.

*hides in America*

Isn't Lipton what they serve at "Low Tea"?

 

[EmilyMiller]

In addition, Jamie is played by an English actress, but one from London. And the “English” Bly Manor is actually in Vancouver. I was trying to capture the vibe. Again, for my own amusement primarily.

Em

In Midnight Mass, Flanagan has an English Hindu play and American Moslem who is the sherif on a tiny New England island. I swear he does it to fuck with us.

The same actor (he uses the same actors - including his wife, Kate Siegel - in his movies / TV shows more than Jose Whedon) plays an areligious Brit (in his own accent) in Bly Manor.

It’s like a puzzle often.

Em

 

[HordHolm]

Vital. They're all tea flavoured.

One for the 'what throws you out of a story' thread, but there's a horribly large amount of otherwise-good fanfic set in the UK where a foreign author has mastered the 'I'll make a nice cup of tea' response to any level of emergency, but then offers the victim a mug of chamomile tea, honey and lemon, or some even worse concoction.

If the Brit doesn't rouse and go "what the fuck is this?", it's inauthentic.

People buy Yorkshire Tea, PG Tips, or a supermarket own brand. Even English Breakfast is a wee bit posh. You'd get that in Betty's (an excellent chain of tearooms, but so they should be, the amount they charge...)

The spouse is still traumatised by the time we ended up very jet-lagged at an event in San Francisco, where there was a Lipton's stall and a perky lass offered me a tea. She was insistent that America did good tea now. A few minutes later it transpired that yes, she had over 50 flavours of 'tea' but not one was tea flavoured.

I ranted. For quite a long articulate time, I'm told. And then was given a coffee.

I am finally getting the chance to introduce the ever dependable Builders' Tea into something I've just started. So proud.

 

[onehitwanda]

Isn't Lipton what they serve at "Low Tea"?

nah, it's Shit Tea. That's the Tea that is taken midway between High Tea and Low Tea.

 

[AwkwardlySet]

but then offers the victim a mug of chamomile tea, honey and lemon, or some even worse concoction.

Well... I am not much for lemon in my tea, but I often drink chamomile or heather tea sweetened with a bit of honey.

 

[stickygirl]

Green tea's good, but I struggle to find one that isn't bitter - Twinings version is average. There's a buddhist couple I know who make amazing green tea ,but maybe their's benefits from being drunk from a bowl, not a cup.

 

[Bazzle]

Green tea's good, but I struggle to find one that isn't bitter - Twinings version is average. There's a buddhist couple I know who make amazing green tea ,but maybe their's benefits from being drunk from a bowl, not a cup.

But surely in Yorkshire you need to drink Yorkshire tea????

 

[onehitwanda]

But surely in Yorkshire you need to drink Yorkshire tea????

Nah. Nobody in Yorkshire would ever call it Yorkshire tea. It's just a brew.