Men Seeking To Write Women From Minnesota Better

[ElectricBlue]

This feels like the kernel of something that would go in the Humor & Satire section, if it could be expanded to a somewhat larger number of states.

@SimonDoom will put it on his "to do" list. By my count, he's up to #59 or maybe even #60.

I have faith, enough (maybe) to start a religion.

Carry on .

 

[SimonDoom]

@SimonDoom will put it on his "to do" list. By my count, he's up to #59 or maybe even #60.

I have faith, enough (maybe) to start a religion.

Carry on .

Oh ye of little . . .

No, I just can't say it.

 

[Euphony]

Oh ye of little . . .

No, I just can't say it.

I am absolutely on board.

 

[MajorRewrite]

I've never been to Minnesota. I know almost nothing about Minnesota. I can't help but feel that the no doubt good women of Minnesota are getting a bum rap in this thread. Therefore, in the interets of balance, here are some Playboy Playmates from Minnesota.

View attachment 2279364

I’m usually terrible at remembering names, but when I saw this pic “Dahm triplets” immediately popped into my head. I’m so proud.

Personally, I prefer the girl-next-door in pic #1, but centerfold triplets are hard to forget.

 

[gunhilltrain]

I know this thread is tongue in cheek, but the biggest plot point of a 70k word story I wrote hinged on a girl holding her liquor because she is "from Minnesota." I know this is more of a Wisconsin thing but artistic licence and all that

Okay, so I don't have to read all 70K words, is there something about people from that area that makes them hold their liquor better? Or is it actually worse? Or is it just a myth?

 

[onehitwanda]

Okay, so I don't have to read all 70K words, is there something about people from that area that makes them hold their liquor better? Or is it actually worse? Or is it just a myth?

The Finns (while not being Scandinavian) are have the highest proportion of alcoholics per capita - and I say that as a surprised Brit.

It's probably down to there being nothing to do in Scandinavia in winter back then except drink. Cirrhosis probably did for all the populace who couldn't tolerate alcohol.

 

[gunhilltrain]

I’m usually terrible at remembering names, but when I saw this pic “Dahm triplets” immediately popped into my head. I’m so proud.

Personally, I prefer the girl-next-door in pic #1, but centerfold triplets are hard to forget.

Not that I look much better, but that lady is probably a grandma by now.

 

[yowser]

"That's the news from Lake Wobegon, where all the women hold their liquor, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average."

 

[lavendersilk]

 

[Djmac1031]

I dated a woman from Minnesota briefly.

 

[yibala]

Fargo is right on the state line. It's good enough, because I can't think of any movies set in Minnesota.

uhhh...

come on, there's even a cold lake in it.

 

[theWollstonecraftWoman]

Oh, sure, you betcha, little mister. Mommy's gonna get her knees and suck your lil dingelberry, ya think? Get yer self up to yer bedroom, and consider what your fathers gonna have to say. Ya know he talks with his hands better hope it's yer ass this time, right?

 

[R. Richard]

As to food, you must understand, there are just three spices in Minnesota, salt, black pepper and ketchup. BTDT

 

[gunhilltrain]

uhhh...

come on, there's even a cold lake in it.

Your YouTube video didn't load on the forum - some tech glitch. Oh, never mind, it looks like I have to go through the YouTube site.

 

[MelissaBaby]

Fargo is right on the state line. It's good enough, because I can't think of any movies set in Minnesota. Anyway, as Simon and Wanda stated or implied, women from that part of the country are used to cold weather, including snowstorms. That scene demonstrates it.

Only one scene in Fargo is actually set in Fargo. The rest of the movie is in Minnesota.

 

[SimonDoom]

Fargo is right on the state line. It's good enough, because I can't think of any movies set in Minnesota.

A Simple Plan, an overlooked but smart and suspenseful noir crime thriller with Bill Paxton (who's always good), Bridget Fonda, and Billy Bob Thornton. Set in Minnesota in the winter. Snow cover plays a role, as it does in Fargo.

 

[MillieDynamite]

Damn it all to hell, I bet my tongue checking out my cheek.

https://www.literotica.com/series/se/a-wifes-dark-talent

I get this is meant to be tongue in cheek, but that is me (man not from MN), actually writing a MN woman as main character. Not what most of the posters here so far had in mind, though. Even if she IS Scandinavian American, blue eyed blonde, considers herself “nice”, is a hockey fan, and does utter a “you betcha” and an “uff da!” on ocasion.

 

[ruddygore]

I am not a Minnesotan, but I know Minnesotans, and I have been to Minnesota, and I thought I would offer, as well as solicit, from others with familiarity on the subject, some advice on how to write women from Minnesota.

1. First, understatement is the key. Strong opinions are frowned upon. A California mom, confronted with an offer by her son to get down and dirty, might say something like "Totally awesome, I'm down with it!" A Minnesota mom is more likely to say, "You bet," "Oh sure," or "Whatever." A mom from somewhere else might express disapproval by saying, "You want me to fucking do what?" while a Minnesota mom is more likely to say, "That's different."

2. To get the accent right, imagine a Canadian woman trying to sound like a Norwegian without much success, and you'll be close.

3. Minnesota women like sweaters (out of necessity), so if women in sweaters aren't sexy to you, maybe your erotic story should be located south of the Mason-Dixon line.

4. Food is very important. People get together all the time, and they always bring food in big glass or ceramic dishes. It must be bland. Spice is a big no-no. Hot dishes usually contain cream of mushroom soup. Cold dishes have lime jello and baby marshmallows. Pie is a big deal. If you are traveling with a Minnesota woman from one town to another, be prepared to stop often along the way to order pie. Do not ever say, "I'm not really hungry" when a proposal to have pie is offered. This is incomprehensible to your Minnesotan host, and it violates rule number 1 against strong opinions.

5. Minnesota women are outdoorsy, but not so much in a "thong bikini on a jet ski" kind of way as in an "ice fishing in Gortex in a hut on a frozen lake" kind of way. So, if you can make that sexy, good for you.

6. Not all of your women characters have to act and talk and look like characters from the movie Fargo (a city, by the way, which is not in Minnesota, but in North Dakota, an adjacent state which Minnesotans look down upon as bland and boring), but you can't really go wrong if they do.

Ja, sure, ya betcha.

 

[MelissaBaby]

A Simple Plan, an overlooked but smart and suspenseful noir crime thriller with Bill Paxton (who's always good), Bridget Fonda, and Billy Bob Thornton. Set in Minnesota in the winter. Snow cover plays a role, as it does in Fargo.

Great movie. The book was set in Ohio.

 

[ElectricBlue]

A Simple Plan, an overlooked but smart and suspenseful noir crime thriller with Bill Paxton (who's always good), Bridget Fonda, and Billy Bob Thornton. Set in Minnesota in the winter. Snow cover plays a role, as it does in Fargo.

The first Cohen Brothers movie.

 

[SimonDoom]

The first Cohen Brothers movie.

No, you're thinking of Blood Simple -- another great movie, but not set in Minnesota.

 

[ElectricBlue]

No, you're thinking of Blood Simple -- another great movie, but not set in Minnesota.

Must be. What's the plot (in a nutshell) of A Simple Plan?

Wait - that's the one where loot gets buried in the middle of a field, under the snow, but when the snow melts... ??

 

[SimonDoom]

Must be. What's the plot (in a nutshell) of A Simple Plan?

Wait - that's the one where loot gets buried in the middle of a field, under the snow, but when the snow melts... ??

Simple Plan: Bill Paxton's character and his dim-witted brother, played by Billy Bob Thornton, find a plane that has crashed in the woods in the snow, and it has a bag full of money that they later find out is ransom money. They take it, of course, rather than turning it in, and everything goes to hell after that. It's quite good.

 

[Euphony]

It's quite good dontcha know.

If you're gonna sell it, properly sell it.

 

[Codoc24]

My wife of 25 years is from MN. We go back 2 or 3 times a year to see her family.