all of a sudden passion suddenly

You are not an idea
Not a figment like
Ones I’ve seen
Not seen are the things
I’m unsure to say
Unsure in your ways
And I’m sure,
Of mine as well
As the days keep
Happening,
I hope you’ll stay
Time will only tell
 
My nocturnal mind
Never mind
What’s not mine
Shut down and rest
Dream about the past
Take some pills
To get there fast
These words are far
From impressive
Yet expressive in
Little stressed ways
My nocturnal mind
May be awake for days
 
the art of staying
Navigating in
My mind
Channels and
Passages leading
To more unknown
Elevate me, meds
Relieve the symptom
That keeps returning
The burning sensation
Spreading out from the
Middle of my gut
The empty spaces in me
Can’t be filled with nothing
The reality of this world
Is only real to me
No one else can see
The demons inside me
 
Long shadows stretch
Across the landscape
With a peppering of leaves
The stars almost
Don’t exist at all
I am not part
Of the human race
Not any species
That we know
I am a mystery to me
I put my love to death
I will never be the same
I
I am so ashamed
 
Remember when I was
Thirty five and full
Of vigor, the passion
So much of it
Only imagined yet
it was my reality
Some day I won’t care
Because somewhere
I’ll come across
The one who fills
Me up
 
The pavement looks icy
The way the lights reflect
I imagine for a moment
That it is winter now
I wonder if you’re sleeping
Or laying awake with
The faithful radio
Your cat may not cuddle,
But my dogs do
 
The feeling of a void
Was it always like this?
Nothing blazing internally
When did the fires die?
The ashes fall
Embers no more.
Turn around
Back to the drawing board.
 
Don’t jerk the chain
Refrain or remain
I could rhyme about
Ten things, but
It’s so silly and
Tired.
Let the meaningless words
Float into oblivion
 
Jealously swelling like unsolicited advice.
Why is it over something that shouldn't have been?

Wasn't supposed to be this life,
Go live yours. I have to be ok.

Just don't go away.
 
The elder voyeurs
Used to watch us dance
Or fence
No offense
Taken,
I’m making my own fate
I’m only just imagined
And it doesn’t matter
I’m nothing what you
Remember
 
I'm lost again,
Wondering which turn was wrong.

Do I retrace my steps,
Or seek a new destination?

Would the turn not taken
Bring me the same question?
 
This world is shifting
Seems worse everyday
Like the stupid fucking movie
Idiocracy
Tired of the story they feed us
The bullshit they try to sell us
So shallow
So meaningless
Who's interests do they serve
Its surely not mine
Trying to enslave us
While social media corrupts us
 
What substance
Can I introduce
To my system
Chemicals or cum
To displace me
Delicately
Let me be your sin
Let me in
Let’s shut the
World out, far away
From the cold
I’ll hold you,
I’ll keep it up
Until you break away
In the heat of it all
 
Something always changes
I can’t remember why
Some cosmic sphere
Sucked me inside
Coming again
To terms of this
Agreement,
Demonstrate boundaries
Showing me you’re healthy
Remind us both I’ve
Nothing good for you
 
You still walk my dreams
sticking to the walls.
I feel you there
watching from afar now.

I start to awaken
briefly thinking you're there.
Clarity descends
it's who it should have been all along.

I let you go
but you remained.
 
What are dreams
But memories
Of things that
Never happened
Some say they
Are visions of
A future scene.
I can’t remember
Those ones
That told me you
Were real
But an itch
Just under my skin
Reminds me I’m
Forever infected
 
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