The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

steve44uk said:

... and you get a hatful of rain, 'cause no-one likes a mime.

I put in a Breton shirt...

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Handley_Page said:

but it does not match the Breton hat/cap or ship's trousers



I put in the Duke of Mantua

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Saxon_Hart said:

But Gene Chandler just didn't think Mantua had a good ring to it...


I put in The Platters

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Handley_Page said:

And the washing up never gets done right



I put in a a 1920s radio

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NekoParks said:

and the RCA dog Nipper just barks at it...

I put in the "The Ghost Who Walks, The Man Who Cannot Die, Guardian of the Eastern Dark ..."

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Saxon_Hart said:

Bur at first light the ghost flies the coop and the dude has a heart attack.


I put in the tell tale heart. (the actual heart, not the yarn)

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Handley_Page said:

But it decides to shut up, having taken legal advice.



I put in His Masters Voice
(with Nipper the dog).

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NekoParks said:

but Francis Barraud couldn't sell his painting, because no one believed that a dog would listen to a recording...

I put in Uggie the dog in the movie The Artist...

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Handley_Page said:

And you get a Bordeaux Bloodhound like Hooch




I put in a case of mistaken identity

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Saxon_Hart said:

And Melissa McCarthy becomes HP and hilarity ensues.
(Haven't seen the movie, just guessing about hilarity)


I put in a breezy spring day.

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Handley_Page said:

But the April Showers are late and it's peeing down.




I put in a regular bucket of sunshine

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Saxon_Hart said:

And the crabby non-morning people kill her in her sleep.


I put in heavily caffeinated drinks.

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NekoParks said:

but you get trampled by a "red bull".


I put in non disclosure clause...

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Handley_Page said:

but the Jury throws the case out.



I put in a new fishing rod.

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Saxon_Hart said:

But the old fish aren't biting.


I put in a snazzy fish finder.

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Handley_Page said:

But the float don't follow it



I put in a stuck black-ink printer cartridge

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Saxon_Hart said:

And you get some guy in tech support asking you the same question 10 different ways in broken English.


I put in Slash.

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Handley_Page said:

But it heals too soon



I put in a (reluctant) busy time at the gym.

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Saxon_Hart said:

And you get to sweat as you ogle hotties in yoga pants.



I put in a quart of moonshine.

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Handley_Page said:

Sadly, that's all it is: moonshine.



I put in a pipe of good Port.

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Saxon_Hart said:

But the stoners hear the word pipe, and after a bit of modification, the port is now bong water.


I put in a fifth of Jack Daniel's.

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Handley_Page said:

But it came forth and lost the stake



I put in a scooter battery.

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Saxon_Hart said:

But Valery the vibe queen drains it like an electronic vampire.


I put in a submarine battery.

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steve44uk said:

... so you hook it up to your Fleshlight and well and truly blow your ballast.

I put in a box of moistwipes...

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Handley_Page said:

soaked in battery acid.



I put in a First Aid Kit.

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