So im 21, I am autistic with a hint of legit ADD.I consider my self indigo but only in the sense that im unique and doing in life what makes my heart sing ie. What im really interested in is how I will succeed. I would say im just on the other side of normal. I would say im 85 - 95% socially normal. I would consider my self normal just needing extra explanation on certain things not much tho. Im manly yet I have a tad bit of this vivacious womanly energy now and again. Im basically like benedict comberbatch in the show sherlock but like 40% less excentric.
I have met lots of chicks in person who think im cute and sweet(the most legit sweetheart they have ever met) and very interesting. I have chatted with many girls and I have had sex before with normal girls of different sizes and races.theese girls arent autistic in the least bit. I have dates 18 yr olds and I have been with a 27yr old when I was 19. I have been told my sex is good and that im the most tender and sweet lover they ever had, yet they fade off never to speak to me again after we have sex a few times and after like 3 to 7 months of talking / dating.
this is excluding my high school sweatsweet let's call her CIE . she died in a car crash which messed up my life terribly.I did drugs for a stint and I nearly died like 12 times. Was hooked on alochol, dxm,benzedrex,cafine pills,mxe,weed and myristacine. I got so sad because she was one of the few "normal" very actracrive girls that ever really loved me. It was probably because I worked my ass off to talk to her, be nice and get her to notice me and my amazingly big gestures to show her how I felt inside about her.
Plus the very few times I needed a good cry she didn't "say be a man you whiny shit like my parents used to" she would hug me and say "it's ok We will get through this together, cus just like you personally want I to want to see my man happy and able to care for me no matter what it takes."
She was the type who could get any guy and went for me cus I was better then the others. She said she really began to fall in love when I held her when she cried about her ex breaking up with her back in high school / cheating on her.
I remember I saw CIE crying in the back of my study hall class room and I started crying my self and could barely speak due to nerves, (because it shreads my heart to pieces to see any girl cry, I always get an inclination to hug them but if I dont know and "like" them then I will not) as I aproched her whiping them away to not look stupid and weak to her. yet I managed to say "come here I know you need a hug". I was like crying and hyper ventilating saying this. my arms where shaking as I held them out. She burried her head in my chest. my heart started beating at 1000 mph and my arms stopped shaking cus all I was focused on was comforting her. She cried so much she stained my shirt with make up. I said in that same voice "I would give you better I would give you the world and the universe even if I died trying as long as you smile for me. I would never need any one else in my life as long as im happy and you inspire me to do my best,I promise or I will spend the rest of my life trying to get you to belive the truth that I would."
When we had sex it was like the type of sex as depicted in the notebook and such romantic movies.I was the big guy (not huge but yet decently physically fit) she was the slender cute girl with the long brunette hair, beautiful blue eyes, beautiful smile, very soft smooth skin, and the behind of an "adult / fashion model", her brests were c cups yet they were more beautiful then any ones I have seen since(even DD or bigger). She would have intense orgasms where she would moan, gasp, quiver in her whole body, then groan and tremble slowly less and less intensely. her eyes would roll back in her head. The First time I thought I hurt her and freaked out for a min but anyways.
I have not really felt anything like it since or even before emotionally and only once sexually. We were together for almost 5 years before she got in a car wreck when she died after going to a college party where she was drugged.
I knew the guy who it was said to have done it. Now im not the type to be viloent untill to lay an unnessecary and unwanted hand on me or you touch my besutiful Angel. The latter is when im so mad and viloent I would make isi,algezera ,the talaban, neo nazis and the like crap there britches.
So any ways when his folks weren't home I bashed in his windows and beat him to a pulp with a metal bat. He didnt say any thing or press charges cus he knew I knew he was holding and couldn't pass any form of drug test.
after that I just wanted to die and with CIE dying went the gyst of my motivation. ever since its been an odd experience and its vastly more nerve wrecking and disheartening / discouraging talking to women near my age. I can talk older womens ears off but I say um in the middle of conversation like 1 to 2 times a minute with younger women especially if there is any level of eye contact. It slowly gets better with time.
I want to find love, because knowing any girl thinks, cares about me,wants me to be happy is the biggest motivation even more the food,shelter,and money. Literally. i can't say why. It just is. Maybe that type of energy is infectious.
I feel im in a slump and I need something more cus constantly I feel like using drugs yet some how manage not to. I try to use CIE's memory to motivate me but nope it has no significant effect . When ever I talk to / casuAlly date women (if you could even call it that) after her passing I get a bit of a pep in my step and a drive in my heart to work so hard that if it feels at all right then she will see why im worth staying with. Then its back to that rut but I feel a quarter to half notch lower and worse off after they ignore or stop talking to me all together.
I dont want any down syndrome, or physically disabled or anyone else I have to really care for.I want either a "normal girl" or one who isn't viloent and is like me , who is able to drive, bathe and do her thing but is mostly normal but has some quarks. Im saying no to "obease"chicks curvy is sexy so is petite just not as in boney . To me looks matter (like 8% - 12%) but not alot I just wouldnt go for the average bbw or plumper type per say, but I judge that case by case( based on her proportions, acne, and general other wise health). Any other type is cool really. As long as you retain the clasic feminine physical attributes soft skin shaving and what not.
Any one have any suggestions of where to look to find genuinely sweethearted girls that may be either off the soectrum or very highly functioning. Also any one have any advice for me prior to persuing a extremely or pretty well functioning autistic young woman. Any thing I should know about autistic sex before going down that road.
I have met lots of chicks in person who think im cute and sweet(the most legit sweetheart they have ever met) and very interesting. I have chatted with many girls and I have had sex before with normal girls of different sizes and races.theese girls arent autistic in the least bit. I have dates 18 yr olds and I have been with a 27yr old when I was 19. I have been told my sex is good and that im the most tender and sweet lover they ever had, yet they fade off never to speak to me again after we have sex a few times and after like 3 to 7 months of talking / dating.
this is excluding my high school sweatsweet let's call her CIE . she died in a car crash which messed up my life terribly.I did drugs for a stint and I nearly died like 12 times. Was hooked on alochol, dxm,benzedrex,cafine pills,mxe,weed and myristacine. I got so sad because she was one of the few "normal" very actracrive girls that ever really loved me. It was probably because I worked my ass off to talk to her, be nice and get her to notice me and my amazingly big gestures to show her how I felt inside about her.
Plus the very few times I needed a good cry she didn't "say be a man you whiny shit like my parents used to" she would hug me and say "it's ok We will get through this together, cus just like you personally want I to want to see my man happy and able to care for me no matter what it takes."
She was the type who could get any guy and went for me cus I was better then the others. She said she really began to fall in love when I held her when she cried about her ex breaking up with her back in high school / cheating on her.
I remember I saw CIE crying in the back of my study hall class room and I started crying my self and could barely speak due to nerves, (because it shreads my heart to pieces to see any girl cry, I always get an inclination to hug them but if I dont know and "like" them then I will not) as I aproched her whiping them away to not look stupid and weak to her. yet I managed to say "come here I know you need a hug". I was like crying and hyper ventilating saying this. my arms where shaking as I held them out. She burried her head in my chest. my heart started beating at 1000 mph and my arms stopped shaking cus all I was focused on was comforting her. She cried so much she stained my shirt with make up. I said in that same voice "I would give you better I would give you the world and the universe even if I died trying as long as you smile for me. I would never need any one else in my life as long as im happy and you inspire me to do my best,I promise or I will spend the rest of my life trying to get you to belive the truth that I would."
When we had sex it was like the type of sex as depicted in the notebook and such romantic movies.I was the big guy (not huge but yet decently physically fit) she was the slender cute girl with the long brunette hair, beautiful blue eyes, beautiful smile, very soft smooth skin, and the behind of an "adult / fashion model", her brests were c cups yet they were more beautiful then any ones I have seen since(even DD or bigger). She would have intense orgasms where she would moan, gasp, quiver in her whole body, then groan and tremble slowly less and less intensely. her eyes would roll back in her head. The First time I thought I hurt her and freaked out for a min but anyways.
I have not really felt anything like it since or even before emotionally and only once sexually. We were together for almost 5 years before she got in a car wreck when she died after going to a college party where she was drugged.
I knew the guy who it was said to have done it. Now im not the type to be viloent untill to lay an unnessecary and unwanted hand on me or you touch my besutiful Angel. The latter is when im so mad and viloent I would make isi,algezera ,the talaban, neo nazis and the like crap there britches.
So any ways when his folks weren't home I bashed in his windows and beat him to a pulp with a metal bat. He didnt say any thing or press charges cus he knew I knew he was holding and couldn't pass any form of drug test.
after that I just wanted to die and with CIE dying went the gyst of my motivation. ever since its been an odd experience and its vastly more nerve wrecking and disheartening / discouraging talking to women near my age. I can talk older womens ears off but I say um in the middle of conversation like 1 to 2 times a minute with younger women especially if there is any level of eye contact. It slowly gets better with time.
I want to find love, because knowing any girl thinks, cares about me,wants me to be happy is the biggest motivation even more the food,shelter,and money. Literally. i can't say why. It just is. Maybe that type of energy is infectious.
I feel im in a slump and I need something more cus constantly I feel like using drugs yet some how manage not to. I try to use CIE's memory to motivate me but nope it has no significant effect . When ever I talk to / casuAlly date women (if you could even call it that) after her passing I get a bit of a pep in my step and a drive in my heart to work so hard that if it feels at all right then she will see why im worth staying with. Then its back to that rut but I feel a quarter to half notch lower and worse off after they ignore or stop talking to me all together.
I dont want any down syndrome, or physically disabled or anyone else I have to really care for.I want either a "normal girl" or one who isn't viloent and is like me , who is able to drive, bathe and do her thing but is mostly normal but has some quarks. Im saying no to "obease"chicks curvy is sexy so is petite just not as in boney . To me looks matter (like 8% - 12%) but not alot I just wouldnt go for the average bbw or plumper type per say, but I judge that case by case( based on her proportions, acne, and general other wise health). Any other type is cool really. As long as you retain the clasic feminine physical attributes soft skin shaving and what not.
Any one have any suggestions of where to look to find genuinely sweethearted girls that may be either off the soectrum or very highly functioning. Also any one have any advice for me prior to persuing a extremely or pretty well functioning autistic young woman. Any thing I should know about autistic sex before going down that road.
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