coming to understand what you want

******

******

Welcome to Lit

Let's see...I think a good place to start is by getting comfortable with yourself and then exploring what gets you off. I recently discovered I wanted to one day suck a cock and really enjoy it. So am I bi or gay, I don't know, but I'm not going to label it anything. I just go with my feelings and pay attention to my fantasies and things I picture in my head while masturbating.
Most importantly be honest with yourself and never think that you're wrong because you start feeling a certain way and your mind shuts it off because of beliefs or whatever BS you were fed before.
Listen to your feeling and thoughts.
Then go and explore the wonderful world we live in. And be safe!

******

******

A lot of the problem is finding balance. Sure, it would be great if all LGBT people would just shout out and confront the haters and maybe that way faster progress could be made towards wider acceptance. Meanwhile, back in the real world, people aren't all strong or have hides like rhinos: we love our family / friends and don't want them hurt either by our admission or by the reaction of other people to them.

Some people hide their sexuality all their lives through fear of the shame it can bring and there's nothing wrong with that if you can handle it. What annoys every out LGBT person is when those people get hypocritical - you know, the sort that will make the biggest homophobic comments to cover up their secret.

For a lot of people it comes down to financial independence. If you can survive on your own then the risk of being thrown out of home at least means you can stay off the streets. So timing of when you tell people can be a smart move.

But knowing what you actually want is something you'll figure out, as the other poster suggested. Some posters on Lit will talk the talk, but I suspect have never sucked a cock in their lives, because fantasy can be anything you want it to be, but dealing with what is attached to the other end of a cock is often more than some can cope with.... there's the smell and the smeg and the post-orgasm guilt sheesh!

Whatever you decide - have fun and be safe.

I'm 34 and I am still figuring out who I am and what I want. some days I desperately want to put on a summery dress and some cute heels, do my hair and make up and be the feminine me. other days I'm ok with being a boy (man). I hid my trans feelings and desires from myself and everyone I know for YEARS because I was too afraid of it all. I wouldnt change what I have now, as a result of hiding everything, but I'm desperate to tell someone who I really am.

as mrdiscreetshh said, get out there, meet people and have some safe fun. you'll figure it all out eventually. just don't be afraid of your feelings and desires like I was. embrace them

I can only repeat what's been said by the previous posters, Life's too short to allow yourself to get bogged down with titles. Do whatever feels good to you as long as you're not hurting or imposing yourself on others. Straight, gay, bi, whatever! No one really cares what you do in private or what takes place between your ears. It took me a long time to realize the truthfulness of this! Don't worry, be happy!

To loosen ones grip on the "perfect label for me" is good advice. For no matter which one is chosen, it still doesn't quite say it all...nor can it. Look all around in nature and see the diversity even among things that look at first glance to be identical. Take a forest of Fir trees; From a distance one would say they are all the same...and yet I would bet everything I own that no two are exactly identical.

That's just for trees! Now consider the wonder of each human and all of the many ways we are unique....this one can sing like an angle...that one can run like a deer, etc. Our sexuality is our own personal reality...and the cool thing is; it grows and morphs the same as we do in other ways.

Love yourself for the perfect unique individual you are...it will take a lifetime to find out all about yourself! Have fun living that life!!!!

sexualunsure said:

I just turned 19 and I'm finding very difficult to determine my sexual preferences if i even have any. Wanted to hear from people who have gone through this and try and understand what i want sexualy

Click to expand...

Go on dates and tell just that, just what you said.

Include some gay guys and bisexuals on dates.

As long as it doesn't hurt or use anyone, pursue your desires. Try sucking and fucking, being fucked, etc. Pretty soon you'll figure out your preferences, and where you belong. And remember, you're only young once

Labels are nothing but a name. You're you and I'm me. That's all anyone needs to know. I like both men and women, but that's me. Always been that way and doubt it'll change now. Get out and explore your desires.