About a week or two ago, I responded in a thread with some advice that was probably unsolicited and only of questionable relevance to the original post, and for that I apologize, since I apparently rubbed some people the wrong way. But my response got me to thinking, everyone had to start somewhere.
I am sure my awakening to these intense feelings of submission were not unlike those of many other people, and a lot of posts remind me of myself on the early stages of my journey into BDSM and submission. We have these intense fantasies, we want to try everything, we want to SUBMIT and have a strong partner take control, be degraded, spanked, whipped, or have other things done to us that I wont describe (but use your imagination) by our dream dominant partner. I remember these feelings, how powerful and erotic they were, and now and again I still find myself going down this dark path with my own fantasies.
But it is, alas, so common to get so caught up in these fantasies that people come across as pushy and/or crude without realizing it. And sometimes people eventually realize that like any relationship, there has to be a connection, common goals, interests, and it's not all just fantasy subspace all the time.
So I guess I'm saying, I try to be tolerant of newbies who gush out all their fantasies, because I was there once too, and I was probably pushy and crude back then too. However I was never on the receiving end of hundreds of creepy messages from hundreds of horny pervy dudes either, so I cannot speak to that experience. I can only look back and try to learn from it. And since then; 20 years ago, I can say I've come full circle; I am now realizing that a dream D/S, female led kink relationship, where all those sub-frenzied kinky fantasies come true, is probably not a realistic goal for me, and so now I've gone back to trying to embrace my vanilla self. There is a lot of beauty and fulfillment in being with someone you love, even if it means burying your darker desires. While of course, as long as I'm single, I will still be "open" to something more adventurous if it comes my way.
I am sure my awakening to these intense feelings of submission were not unlike those of many other people, and a lot of posts remind me of myself on the early stages of my journey into BDSM and submission. We have these intense fantasies, we want to try everything, we want to SUBMIT and have a strong partner take control, be degraded, spanked, whipped, or have other things done to us that I wont describe (but use your imagination) by our dream dominant partner. I remember these feelings, how powerful and erotic they were, and now and again I still find myself going down this dark path with my own fantasies.
But it is, alas, so common to get so caught up in these fantasies that people come across as pushy and/or crude without realizing it. And sometimes people eventually realize that like any relationship, there has to be a connection, common goals, interests, and it's not all just fantasy subspace all the time.
So I guess I'm saying, I try to be tolerant of newbies who gush out all their fantasies, because I was there once too, and I was probably pushy and crude back then too. However I was never on the receiving end of hundreds of creepy messages from hundreds of horny pervy dudes either, so I cannot speak to that experience. I can only look back and try to learn from it. And since then; 20 years ago, I can say I've come full circle; I am now realizing that a dream D/S, female led kink relationship, where all those sub-frenzied kinky fantasies come true, is probably not a realistic goal for me, and so now I've gone back to trying to embrace my vanilla self. There is a lot of beauty and fulfillment in being with someone you love, even if it means burying your darker desires. While of course, as long as I'm single, I will still be "open" to something more adventurous if it comes my way.