Phone Sex Fails

[Friendlymann]

Drunken Scottish girl. That's all I'm saying.

Why say more, there's kind of a hint there already!

 

[XsNrg]

I must be one of the fortunate ones because I have never had a bad experience with phone sex.....usually by the time we get that far along we both seem to enjoy the way minds work and I've never run into a woman whom happens to have a voice lower than mine.

 

[Choirg1rl]

I must be one of the fortunate ones because I have never had a bad experience with phone sex.....usually by the time we get that far along we both seem to enjoy the way minds work and I've never run into a woman whom happens to have a voice lower than mine.

It seems that you are fortunate! I was surprised by how many straight men have told me that they've discovered the woman they were flirting with was actually a man. One wonders why the counterfeit woman agreed to a voice chat in the first place. I assume "she" was hoping she could persuade him in the heat of the moment. Perhaps they are transgender women? But in that case I think it's only common courtesy to tell prospective partners.

 

[RipRespon]

Win: I've never been good at phone sex, but, the ex and I discovered that calling me while she was having sex with her lovers was very hot for both of us. The first time it happened unexpectedly when she was in one of her lover's bathroom late at night describing the sex of that day. His roommate knocked on the door. She hid the phone and I listened as she let him in and quickly seduced him until she was sucking his cock. The phone soon died and missed the rest. I posted a story about it a while ago.

Fail: Many years later the same ex wife butt dials me while having sex with my best friend. Apparently they'd been fucking for the last year and this was the way I found out. Divorce followed a few month's later.

 

[SenorFuego]

I was having hot phone sex in the 80s, but kept getting the 'please deposit 25 cents please' warnings.

Also, you can't collect call a hotline.

 

[RipRespon]

I was having hot phone sex in the 80s, but kept getting the 'please deposit 25 cents please' warnings.

That reminds me of the 1-800 sex lines I tried once while in college. FAIL: It was okay but the bill was phenomenal...ly expensive! Took me half a paycheck to cover it. Never did that again!

 

[Lustful_Intentions]

It seems that you are fortunate! I was surprised by how many straight men have told me that they've discovered the woman they were flirting with was actually a man. One wonders why the counterfeit woman agreed to a voice chat in the first place. I assume "she" was hoping she could persuade him in the heat of the moment. Perhaps they are transgender women? But in that case I think it's only common courtesy to tell prospective partners.

What I don't get about this is-what does the person on the other end, the one putting on a front, get out of it? Maybe I'm odd, but I don't envision getting off on being deceptive.

 

[LIVINRFANTASIES]

D(.)(.)

Dollie------------- This may not fit here and it's not exactly phone sex.
My husband had a sales job and traveled to many small towns in a large circle around our city. His brother's wife was jealous of us and always trying to break us up. We weren't angels. We did have a strange sex life but neither of us had reason to cheat.
Irene often called me while my husband was working. She'd describe another woman and the things the two were doing together. I'd asked him several times. I knew it wasn't true.
One afternoon my husband was at home for some reason. Irene called me and was telling me all about my husband and his girfriend at her house. I put him on the phone and the bitch didn't talk to us for years.
Actually she stil doesn't. The sad part is it's my husband's only brother.

The only phone sex I have is when my husband talks to our crazy frriends and he puts them on to tell me nasty things they want to do to me.

 

[Just_Jen]

Ha! I am from the Midwest and I did have that accent, but years of living in Paris have washed it away a bit. Ya, sure!

Last year, I had a call with someone I met through another site. I am not much of a phone person, so the experience was quite new to me. We had a generic casual conversation that quickly eased into sexy, and started to describe how we were taking our clothes off and what said action would reveal. She said Her name was Sandy, I called myself Tim, and she had just started to describe her pubes and pussy, when her dog started to bark. Simone, stop barking, she said. Funny, I said, I have a cousin who has a dog named Simone. I have only one cousin, she laughed, and he lives in Paris. Uh oh. Katy, I asked? Gary, she responded?

That next Thanksgiving was a mix of sexy and awkward, I have to say!

! ...Oh my...

Glad u guys were able to laugh about it later tho...

 

[SenorFuego]

I remember getting dressed up once for this phone sex, very class, white tie .... then I got on the phone and she said, 'Cum quick, I got money to make.'

 

[johnnieblue44]

I've been playing on Lit for about 6 months now, and it's been a really fun and liberating way to explore my sexuality in a safe way. I have a penchant for audio porn and phone sex, and I've had a few really satisfying interactions with other Litsters. But, as we all know, sexual chemistry can be elusive, and for every gifted virtual lover out there, there are dozens of bottom-dwelling mouth-breathers.

I thought it would be funny and cathartic to share some of the most egregious missteps my would-be phone/chat lovers have made, and I'd love to hear about yours (anonymously, of course; let's not be mean). May they serve as a cautionary tale to other aspiring Don Juans.

Fail: I was recently chatting with a man who asked me to tell him something he didn't know about me. I replied that I had a sister. He asked me if she was a sexy as I was, and if he could have her Skype ID. Eww, dude.

EDIT: This thread is all in good fun, and not intended to be relentlessly negative, so feel free to share really fantastic experiences as well. Anyway, one person's fail is another person's win.

Dudes, I'd love to hear your stories, too!

Win: One of my very first experiences on Lit was with a lovely Scottish gentleman. We talked for an hour and a half before things became intimate. Just a lovely, long meandering conversation that melted effortlessly into dreamy phone sex. Perfection.

I've heard your voice from one of your prior posts, Choirg!rl.....would love to meander with you. I'm confident we'd melt effortlessly ourselves.

xo

 

[HighPlainsDrifter]

I've been playing on Lit for about 6 months now, and it's been a really fun and liberating way to explore my sexuality in a safe way. I have a penchant for audio porn and phone sex, and I've had a few really satisfying interactions with other Litsters. But, as we all know, sexual chemistry can be elusive, and for every gifted virtual lover out there, there are dozens of bottom-dwelling mouth-breathers.

I thought it would be funny and cathartic to share some of the most egregious missteps my would-be phone/chat lovers have made, and I'd love to hear about yours (anonymously, of course; let's not be mean). May they serve as a cautionary tale to other aspiring Don Juans.

Fail: I was recently chatting with a man who asked me to tell him something he didn't know about me. I replied that I had a sister. He asked me if she was a sexy as I was, and if he could have her Skype ID. Eww, dude.

EDIT: This thread is all in good fun, and not intended to be relentlessly negative, so feel free to share really fantastic experiences as well. Anyway, one person's fail is another person's win.

Dudes, I'd love to hear your stories, too!

Win: One of my very first experiences on Lit was with a lovely Scottish gentleman. We talked for an hour and a half before things became intimate. Just a lovely, long meandering conversation that melted effortlessly into dreamy phone sex. Perfection.

Few things are better than good old fashioned phone sex. The intimacy, the sounds, the voices... it can be incredible. I haven't done it in years until recently with a very sexy woman here on lit. This phone sex was on Skype and it was incredible hearing her moans and words of encouragement while I stroked on cam and told her exactly what I wanted to do with her. That was very special! And it makes me long for the old phone sex days.

 

[Kittyscave]

Few things are better than good old fashioned phone sex. The intimacy, the sounds, the voices... it can be incredible. I haven't done it in years until recently with a very sexy woman here on lit. This phone sex was on Skype and it was incredible hearing her moans and words of encouragement while I stroked on cam and told her exactly what I wanted to do with her. That was very special! And it makes me long for the old phone sex days.

Lucky girl.

 

[Doctor Joe]

I have had mostly very satisfying experiences....which I will get into another time.
Just had to subscribe to this new exciting thread.

 

[winepleasures]

Great thread!

I've had mostly delicious phone sex over the past decades (yes, decades) with very cool, intelligent women with creative minds. That's usually my prerequisite. Creative, uninhibited with the ability to be discreet. And with phone sex, it doesn't have to be both of us exploding at the same time. Some of the most memorable experiences were having her cum at work in her office with the door closed. Or in the bathroom at work. Just to hear the whimpers from my words and mind get my creative juices flowing.
One of my first phone sex experiences was a random phone call while in college. This is pre-cell phone era so the phone number did not show up. And i'm not even sure if it wasn't a wrong number! But a very sexy college woman described in the best of ways all of the things she wanted me to do and what she was doing. I came hard and since then, I've been hooked. I've had people say, " I don't want phone sex, I want the real thing." Well, yeah, who doesn't? But phone sex can be such a creative outlet you can't compare it to actual intercourse. It's an experience all its own.
A downside to an experience once was that her husband found out she was sexing with me and called me on the phone. Now, I covered myself pretty well in that he asked if i knew a Kathy. I said i didn't ( she told me her name was Susan ) so I had no idea her real name was Kathy. Thankfully nothing came of it but it ended fast. She apparently couldn't cover her ass and I have little patience for amateurs...haha

 

[Gwanji16]

! ...Oh my...

Glad u guys were able to laugh about it later tho...

Oddly enough, (or not so oddly, i guess), it has led to a new level of trust and intimacy, for lack of a better word, between us. She will call me now with boy problems, often sexual, and ask for advice and hot to sorts of questions. We are not having phone sex, but are talking about sexy things. I always stroke myself afterwards.

Okay, and during, as well!

 

[Just_Jen]

Oddly enough, (or not so oddly, i guess), it has led to a new level of trust and intimacy, for lack of a better word, between us. She will call me now with boy problems, often sexual, and ask for advice and hot to sorts of questions. We are not having phone sex, but are talking about sexy things. I always stroke myself afterwards.

Okay, and during, as well!

You're right, not so oddly, especially since you guys acknowledged it rather than just ignored it. And you guys handled it well, teasing and laughing with each other instead of accusing or judging, etc...

Well, it is always nice to have someone to talk to about things, and in this case, Im sure having a male perspective comes in handy
(and vice versa).

Lol...guess thats another perk

 

[HoldYouDown]

I can't say I've had a fail. But I don't think I'm having enough random phone sex. Do you all mostly meet phone sex partners on Lit, or elsewhere?

 

[Choirg1rl]

I can't say I've had a fail. But I don't think I'm having enough random phone sex. Do you all mostly meet phone sex partners on Lit, or elsewhere?

Speaking for myself, I have only had phone sex with former boyfriends and people I've met on Lit. I know that there are other forums, such as fetlife, where people can find playmates for that purpose, but I don't belong to any of them.

I discovered Lit about a year ago after listening to some erotic audios posted by other users. After awhile, I was curious to take the next step and try having an interactive experience. I am very aurally inclined, and for me it's the next best thing to really making love. In some ways it's even more intimate. But, it's totally safe, and that's extremely important to me.

 

[Choirg1rl]

For limited time only, putting the O in orgasm, the Waubaushaw Waterfall of pussy dripping goodness, from the backdoor to the G spot and nonstop shopping inbetween, hitting all the classic oldies this spin and coming back at you with the top ten at 10...

OMFG you were a champ to rub one out that night. I can almost picture it.

PW, I love your posts. So hilarious. This made me LOL.

Wins:

Accidentally discovering Skype threesomes. I had an FWB that was a bit of a voyeur, she liked to watch me have phone sex. All parties involved knew what was going on, but usually she stayed mostly quiet and just played by herself. Except the one night when I was really getting into it, then suddenly I was surprised by her mouth around my cock. One thing led to another...and my Skype friend was on speakerphone, giving fantasy instructions on how she pictured us fucking, how she would really like to see us fucking, and getting off on getting us to do things we hand't tried before.
"He said he doesn't like a finger in his ass...is he still hard...I bet he hates that...and is harder then ever..."
"I can't hear you fucking anymore...fuck her until I can hear flesh slapping again...make her scream..."

That was a HAWT night, that went on for hours.

That IS hot. Oh, my goodness. I feel flushed just thinking about it. I've only had one threesome experience in my life, and it was a total, utter fail. It was in college, and it was so bad that I actually waited until the other two people were occupied and snuck out of the room. But a scenario like this might be just the thing to wipe away that humiliating memory.

 

[Gwanji16]

You're right, not so oddly, especially since you guys acknowledged it rather than just ignored it. And you guys handled it well, teasing and laughing with each other instead of accusing or judging, etc...

Well, it is always nice to have someone to talk to about things, and in this case, Im sure having a male perspective comes in handy
(and vice versa).

Lol...guess thats another perk

Yes, it is nice and sexy. She is so funny. Last night she told me about a woman at work she is having fantasies about and was going to have drinks with and asked me for tips on eating women. That was fun. I am hard now just thinking about it!

 

[Gwanji16]

My biggest fail

And it's a doozie!

So I call this woman, this so very special woman, who I think could have become someone very meaningful in my life. It's my first time with Skype. I was slow and stupid, not wanting to offend her by jumping into the fucking stage, and I absolutely bored her, and myself, by being chatty and polite, not wanting to offend, not wanting to be the guy that wants to fuck right away. Merde! Like a stupid 16 year old on a first date.

In real life, I would have kissed her hard, told her how hot she was, how much I wanted her, had from the moment we met. I would have thrown her on the bed, pulled off her tanga with my teeth and had her suck my fingers while I went down on her, my whole face blissfully lost in her pussy. That is what I would have done, what I should have done. But no, I was polite to the end, and the end it was, my special chemistry nowhere to be found. She hung up on me and I cannot say I blame her.

As Ferris Bueller says, life comes at you pretty fast. If you're not ready for it, you might miss something. I missed something.

Good bye, Brooklyn. Sigh.

 

[Choirg1rl]

And it's a doozie!

So I call this woman, this so very special woman, who I think could have become someone very meaningful in my life. It's my first time with Skype. I was slow and stupid, not wanting to offend her by jumping into the fucking stage, and I absolutely bored her, and myself, by being chatty and polite, not wanting to offend, not wanting to be the guy that wants to fuck right away. Merde! Like a stupid 16 year old on a first date.

In real life, I would have kissed her hard, told her how hot she was, how much I wanted her, had from the moment we met. I would have thrown her on the bed, pulled off her tanga with my teeth and had her suck my fingers while I went down on her, my whole face blissfully lost in her pussy. That is what I would have done, what I should have done. But no, I was polite to the end, and the end it was, my special chemistry nowhere to be found. She hung up on me and I cannot say I blame her.

As Ferris Bueller says, life comes at you pretty fast. If you're not ready for it, you might miss something. I missed something.

Good bye, Brooklyn. Sigh.

I'll bet she would love to hear that from you. Perhaps you should try again? We none of us get it right all the time. xx

 

[Kinkenglish]

Great thread!
I'll keep it short and sweet (where have you heard that before?)

Win: lovely Indian girl, we'd been in touch for a while, she calls me at work during the day, she 'needs', so I leave my office and have a great time in the art gallery at work (don't ask) , she is awesome but there is a strange nose at the end... Did I do something wrong? No... Turns out she came so hard her hand spasmed and she dropped her mobile

Fail: single dad, taking advantage of the privacy of his room in the early hours, a very understanding American woman driving me to the brink.... Cue knock on the door...'daddy I can't sleep..', mood crashes along with phone..normal service ensues within milliseconds..

 

[UrbanBohemian]

Well since you said to post wins too, I think I have something that qualifies.

A long time ago (I'll refrain from posting the actual year) I was talking to a girl I liked at school. So she had never had a sexual experience with anyone else. She'd only even kissed one other person I think. So one night we were talking on the phone for a while after chatting on the internet for a couple of hours. Back when we chatted over AIM. And it was getting late and she finally admitted to me that even though she told everyone she didn't masturbate she actually did. A teenager masturbating?! I'm Shocked! SHOCKED I TELL YOU! Anyway, she was so embarrassed and made me swear not to tell anyone. Then she asked me if I did too. I told her "Well, yeah. I mean... Of course." So she asked me about phone sex. I told her I'd never done it and she said she'd wanted to try it for a while. So I asked her how she would feel if someone listened to her get off and if that turned her on. She said only someone she liked. I told her she didn't have to be embarrassed and I wasn't going to say anything so maybe it was okay to indulge her fantasy and see how it plays out in real life. (I was not exactly innocent and virginal as a kid so I knew how to sweet talk the girls in school.) So she did. And she wanted to listen to me. So I said we should try cumming together. So we did. And that was her first sexual experience with anyone other than herself.

Okay, it doesn't sound like much now... But at the time it was pretty fucking sweet. I considered it a win. She was hot too. I don't know if she ever told anyone. I never did. No one from that school or whom we knew anyway.