Too kinky a turn-off?

[MeekMe]

I know that this is no help whatsoever. BUttt... I am baffled as to how any hetero guy could look at you, listen to you explain anything at all, and react in any other way except OH HELL YEAH.

What the fuck is wrong with these fools?

I suppose it could be thought of as having a pet you can fuck. (-｡-;

I'm not against pet play, I think it's cute really. But a male friend and I had a conversation and he was of the mindset that he wanted someone that could take care of themselves. He didn't want someone so dependent. I'll admit that the conversation was not about pet play, but I can imagine some men who are just not into that being turned off.

Also, for someone who has never done it, it might seem very daunting.

 

[Loverskitten]

I know that this is no help whatsoever. BUttt... I am baffled as to how any hetero guy could look at you, listen to you explain anything at all, and react in any other way except OH HELL YEAH.

What the fuck is wrong with these fools?

Why thank you (and everyone who quoted this too)
Purrrrrs purrrs nudges nudges

 

[Loverskitten]

I suppose it could be thought of as having a pet you can fuck. (-｡-;

I'm not against pet play, I think it's cute really. But a male friend and I had a conversation and he was of the mindset that he wanted someone that could take care of themselves. He didn't want someone so dependent. I'll admit that the conversation was not about pet play, but I can imagine some men who are just not into that being turned off.

Also, for someone who has never done it, it might seem very daunting.

I can take care of myself. Too well. That's probably part of the problem.

 

[Lrn_The_Ropes]

When, I first started exploring the BDSM side of my relationship and reading the posts n this forum. One of the regulars explained BDSM to me like this "your kink, may not be my kink, and that's ok." Being extremely new to this, it was like an light a light went on. There are somethings I have seen, read, and heard about that I don't appeal to me. Others are hell yes I like that, I even have some that are in the "want to try" category.

I guess it all boils down to "your kink, may not be my kink, and that's ok."

 

[KoPilot]

Dont think anyone will solve that debate any time soon but its always a fun one.

Personally, if somebody feels the need to post pictures of everything they do, I discount them as attention whores. No matter what gender.

It's not a need, it's having harmless fun. And I'll take my harmless fun where I can get it these days. If you don't like my having an instragram full of food and plants and selfies, too bad, those photos are for me, not you, not anyone else. My pleasure, and if someone else gets pleasure out of it too, then that's a happy accident.

You'll find that this is actually the attitude of a lot more youngsters than the "attention whore" line of reasoning. Not that there's anything wrong with getting attention and being appreciated for that matter either.

 

[StrayKat]

It's not a need, it's having harmless fun. And I'll take my harmless fun where I can get it these days. If you don't like my having an instragram full of food and plants and selfies, too bad, those photos are for me, not you, not anyone else. My pleasure, and if someone else gets pleasure out of it too, then that's a happy accident.

You'll find that this is actually the attitude of a lot more youngsters than the "attention whore" line of reasoning. Not that there's anything wrong with getting attention and being appreciated for that matter either.

You see posting your private life all over the internet publicly as harmless fun. It probably is for you, you are an adult who feels responsible only for herself and can deal with eventual unwanted results I suppose. You dont do it because somebody else challenged you to it or think its somehow "cool". But you entice a way of thinking that does affect people who are not so capable of predicting all the consequences of their actions.

Didnt the young girl kill herself just recently because she was trashed for making a porn movie? And dont give me the "its her fault for doing it" excuse. People have right to make mistakes and have right not to be called on those mistakes by the entire malevolent anonymous internet community.
So there you have a life lost and excuse me if I value that life more than your "harmless fun".

There is something very much wrong with getting attention in a wrong way, if you are willing to go out of your comfort zone and expose yourself to others just because someone pushed you there. And online anonymous will push you there if you are a young girl unsure in your own worth and if you see so many adults having "harmless fun". Only kids do get harmed in the process.

I am gutted with attention whoring online because it makes the society my children live in ugly and shallow and potentially dangerous. If the only point you can see there is "mememe having fun" I have nothing more to comment.

 

[MeekMe]

I can take care of myself. Too well. That's probably part of the problem.

(*^_^*) I didn't say you couldn't take care of yourself. I think that it could come off funny to a vanilla guy who doesn't understand. I think you're very pretty, but I think it's wrong to assume a guy will pick up a new kink because a pretty lady told him about it.

Sometimes, if it's not your thing, it just isn't.

I will say that your thread has had me thinking. When I first started coming here I was very scared. I was confused and worried about fitting in. Was I not kinky enough for these folks? Should I do more extreme stuff?

I know now that "I'm kinky enough." I do what I like and I don't worry about what I'm not doing.

I have a feeling that I, too, would have a hard time finding the right person. I think finding someone on a site built for a kind of sexual interaction often gives people the wrong idea. I've had countless PMs from men that assume because I'm here, I don't have a fulfilling sexual relationship with my husband. They refuse to believe that someone would come to a place like this purely for community and knowledge.

I really hope you have better luck finding someone at your level of kink.

 

[KoPilot]

StrayKat, you're equivocating a LOT of things that aren't even remotely categorically similar. Pictures of food =/= porn. Your tone changed, too. It went from disdain for "attention whores" with too many duckface selfies to... righteous anger for victims of coercion and blackmail? Again, two completely different discussions.

I'm going to reassert that pictures of food, plants, and selfies are very much indeed harmless fun. Oversharing choice minutiae from my day to day life and documenting the things I see may irk you, but what I do is absolutely no business of yours, not is it particularly fair to judge my character from such things. And also it really is in no way comparable to the examples you gave whatsoever.

 

[StrayKat]

Personally, if somebody feels the need to post pictures of everything they do, I discount them as attention whores. No matter what gender.

Everything they do does not imply just a few photos of plants and food.

I didnt want to write novels about why I disdain and fear attentions seekers, but since I was poked I gave my opinion on where such behavior may lead. Going from a simple cause to possible consequences in your mind and fearing/hating the cause because of those consequences is, imo, pretty connected.

The way some people seem to share their lives without second thought about privacy makes me very uncomfortable and scared. And once you present yourself all over the internet for everyone to see you cant really say "its none of your damn business". You can and will be judged. If it makes you happier, I can only point out you are free to judge me back. I put myself in position to be judged soon I made a public statement. Sadly, many youngsters dont seem to realize that in attempt to be "cool", do everything "others" do and yes, get attention.

 

[Primalex]

I can only conclude again its all about seeking attention

So what?

Some smoke, some cook, some seek attention.

This doesn't mean they are worth less as humans.

I care what is it about, because I dont want my children and their children to be involved in what I see as shallow and possibly dangerous social movement.

With your attitude it's much more likely that they do it just to piss you off in the future.

Just to add that I find amusing that even some adults here believe if you dont post pictures of "having fun" to the smallest detail, you must be a lonely person who never has fun.

Ah, the butthurt-syndrome - making stuff up that was never said just to be able to whine like a hurt baby seal.

 

[StrayKat]

So what?

Some smoke, some cook, some seek attention.

This doesn't mean they are worth less as humans.

Do I have to repeat myself again to explain why I find it potentially harmful?

With your attitude it's much more likely that they do it just to piss you off in the future.

It doesnt piss me off. It scares me when I see it on FB and YouTube and some other sites. But this is the only place I ever talked about it. So how, again, are they going to piss me off?
Maybe you should try? Post your entire album including private sexy time pics here to piss me off, will you?
Not to mention how infantile that sounds - jeopardize your privacy for a chance to piss off some stranger online.

Ah, the butthurt-syndrome - making stuff up that was never said just to be able to whine like a hurt baby seal.

Okay, they are having fun with like-minded people while you are sitting there alone and grumpy, so I guess it's debatable who the short end of the stick has.

What was never said?

 

[Primalex]

Do I have to repeat myself again to explain why I find it potentially harmful?

No. Do I have to repeat why smoking is harmful and why you are not going to stop your kids from doing it?

It doesnt piss me off.

When your children do this?

What was never said?

That not posting pictures means you are alone and grumpy.

 

[StrayKat]

No. Do I have to repeat why smoking is harmful and why you are not going to stop your kids from doing it?

I may not succeed but that doesnt mean I would not try to stop my kids from doing anything harmful or potentially harmful, including smoking and lack of online privacy.

When your daughters do this?

They dont and I think they are smart enough not to. But if they did I would be very afraid for them and try to tell them why. You know, now you said that, I tried to remember if my kids ever did something just to piss me off. I cant remember one single thing.

That not posting pictures means you are alone and grumpy

I never said that. I said that you said that I hate people for "having fun" while I sit there alone and grumpy, what is a lot of assuming without knowing anything about me.

Seriously though, I thought you were smart and here you cant grasp a very simple concept.

 

[Loverskitten]

Ok now, back to me.

 

[BiBunny]

Ok now, back to me.

Oh, come now. We haven't had a good thread-derailing like this one in a while.

 

[StrayKat]

Ok now, back to me.

I am deeply sorry Your Majesty, will you accept my most humble apologies?

(that new pic on Fet is just yummy)

 

[IrisAlthea]

Oh, come now. We haven't had a good thread-derailing like this one in a while.

Heh yes, got to love it when the hijack gets hijacked.

 

[Primalex]

(that new pic on Fet is just yummy)

LOL.

You are even part of the problem.

THAT is amusing.

 

[Primalex]

Ok now, back to me.

Everything important was already said on page 1.

 

[StrayKat]

LOL.

You are even part of the problem.

THAT is amusing.

ZOMG, I actually do look at non nude pics my adult friends post on adult websites. How dare I...
You know, I even have some pretty nude pics and videos myself, only they are on private and password protected server.

You think you know so much heh.

 

[Primalex]

ZOMG, I actually do look at non nude pics my adult friends post on adult websites. How dare I...

and comment on them and encourage the poster, making him or her happy about his/her actions and therefore reinforce his/her motivation to repeat the experience.

 

[StrayKat]

and comment on them and encourage the poster, making him or her happy about his/her actions and therefore reinforce his/her motivation to repeat the experience.

Exactly. Because the poster is adult and conscious of consequences of posting non provoking pictures on a site where kids are not allowed.
Just like I support one of my FB friends who posted a hundreds of pictures of him and his girlfriend in different restaurants all over the world. I love to see them.
Half naked bathroom selfies of a 18 yo "blonde" are something different.

 

[Primalex]

Exactly. Because the poster is adult and conscious of consequences of posting non provoking pictures on a site where kids are not allowed.
Just like I support one of my FB friends who posted a hundreds of pictures of him and his girlfriend in different restaurants all over the world. I love to see them.
Half naked bathroom selfies of a 18 yo "blonde" are something different.

Of course it is something completely different.

 

[KoPilot]

Everything they do does not imply just a few photos of plants and food.

Then what does? If taking pictures of things around you every day doesn't count, then I'm not sure what does. Photos of medical records? Vines of every time you dial your parents phone number?

I didnt want to write novels about why I disdain and fear attentions seekers, but since I was poked I gave my opinion on where such behavior may lead. Going from a simple cause to possible consequences in your mind and fearing/hating the cause because of those consequences is, imo, pretty connected.

Ok, I'm gonna just start paying for everything in cash and burn off those pesky, dangerous fingerprints. Never know what trouble those things'll get you into.

The way some people seem to share their lives without second thought about privacy makes me very uncomfortable and scared. And once you present yourself all over the internet for everyone to see you cant really say "its none of your damn business". You can and will be judged. If it makes you happier, I can only point out you are free to judge me back. I put myself in position to be judged soon I made a public statement. Sadly, many youngsters dont seem to realize that in attempt to be "cool", do everything "others" do and yes, get attention.

I hope you're behind 8 proxies as you type that, because guess what? Nothing's private anymore. All it takes is a kid with a laptop at the coffee shop and everything you thought was "yours" on your phone suddenly isn't. Posting pictures to the internet doesn't make this possible, it just makes the possible easier. In fact, half of the legislative problems involved with the internet would probably be solved if our lawmakers would actually stop thinking like you.

 

[Kim_Burly]

Well, I can respond to part of this. Sir told me that he had tapes of his ex-wife and him,he was very nonchalant about it. After a while I brought it up, long story short, after a lot of teasing on his part and begging on my part we watched them. Oddly enough, it didn't make me jealous at all and I learned a lot about him. Stuff that would not even have thought to ask and I would not have found out any other way. It was interesting when I met his ex in person, after seeing her like that. And yes, she does know that he has the tapes and that I saw them, she really couldn't care less.

On the other part, is there such a thing as not kinky enough, or too kinky? No, it's not a pass/fail test, it's a matter of degrees.