As The Hospital Pervs

[sweepthefloor]

I love reading this thread. It is interesting, funny, and some of the pics really grab me.

Just thought I'd let you guys know you are appreciated.

Heyy thanks.

 

[sweepthefloor]

seconded...

some of the most
deliciously disturbing
writing
being done here.

Drowning. Disturbed and drowning in my mind.
Thank you!

 

[sweepthefloor]

I found the secret quiet spot on the unit. I think I will sit here drink my cofffee, eat my chocolate donut and stare at this resident sitting next to me.
He's concentrating so hard it's kinda turning me on.

 

[sweepthefloor]

I just figured it all out.....
Nurses-
Anticipate the needs of others before it is asked for or needed.
I figured it out by communicating with a person who can not speak but understands: Expressive Aphasia. Somehow I still understand!

Then I realized: we always do this- always anticipating needs to prevent problems.
It's a default mechanism.
How strange!

Love me love me.

 

[Colonel Hogan]

I just figured it all out.....
Nurses-
Anticipate the needs of others before it is asked for or needed.
I figured it out by communicating with a person who can not speak but understands: Expressive Aphasia. Somehow I still understand!

Then I realized: we always do this- always anticipating needs to prevent problems.
It's a default mechanism.
How strange!

Love me love me.

I once read a story, perhaps apocryphal, where a surgeon in mid-operation called for a particular instrument. The scrub nurse handed it to him, whereupon he realized he had asked for the wrong one. According to the narrative, he threw it on the floor in disgust and told the nurse, "Don't give me what I ask for; give me what I need."

 

[Sonny Limatina]

I once read a story, perhaps apocryphal, where a surgeon in mid-operation called for a particular instrument. The scrub nurse handed it to him, whereupon he realized he had asked for the wrong one. According to the narrative, he threw it on the floor in disgust and told the nurse, "Don't give me what I ask for; give me what I need."

This is true. It happened to a friend of a friend of mine. Only it was Cleveland, not Tanzania, and the dog was a squirrel, not a ferret.

 

[sweepthefloor]

It can be strange this silent theatre.
I got what we need.
My suction is always set up, and here are your size 7.5 sterile gloves.

 

[Colonel Hogan]

This is true. It happened to a friend of a friend of mine. Only it was Cleveland, not Tanzania, and the dog was a squirrel, not a ferret.

Awwww, come on. It wasn't that improbable.

Funny comeback, though.

 

[sweepthefloor]

I forgot the dressing on my salad.
I need a fella.

 

[sweepthefloor]

8 hours and 20 minutes in shift and I finally got a runner in my nylons.
Feels fucking great.

 

[Sonny Limatina]

8 hours and 20 minutes in shift and I finally got a runner in my nylons.
Feels fucking great.

You know what fixes that? Salad dressing.

 

[rosco rathbone]

"nylons"?? Like old school nurses in white stockings and shoes?

Doesn't everyone wear scrubs & jelly clogs now a days?

Scrubs with teddy bears and such.

 

[sweepthefloor]

You know what fixes that? Salad dressing.

Miracle sauce fixes everything!

 

[sweepthefloor]

"nylons"?? Like old school nurses in white stockings and shoes?

Doesn't everyone wear scrubs & jelly clogs now a days?

Scrubs with teddy bears and such.

Yes- old school nurse-ish.
I wear my white scuffed leather nurse shoes that need polish and nylons under my scrub pants. I am always in a white pressed top. I should get a dress! It would match my look.
Nylons under scrub pants give the grope effect: it is a perpetual state of being groped, the way the fabric shifts on my ass with a grip. I just turn myself on all day. I am disgusting.

There is a public outcry for nurses in white, it identifies the nurse quickly. The research is in, and soon the only nurses in jelly clogs and teddy bear scrubs will be the pediatric nurses.

 

[sweepthefloor]

Dear Doctor,

I take 325mg Aspirin daily. I like the bruises on my legs from the bed side rails.
And tomorrow I willingly serve the Hospital and all those inside it.

Love,
Nurse

 

[sweepthefloor]

Restraints! <yawn>

 

[Wok]

Here is a question that I always wondered about.

Suppose there is some guy without arms or legs and is bedridden. He has all his facilities and does not have a significant other. How can he whack off? Does he call a nurse to roll the guy over? If so, how can the nurse assure the guy does not suffocate?

Giving the guy a handjob is out of the question because of those pesky laws...

 

[sweepthefloor]

Here is a question that I always wondered about.

Suppose there is some guy without arms or legs and is bedridden. He has all his facilities and does not have a significant other. How can he whack off? Does he call a nurse to roll the guy over? If so, how can the nurse assure the guy does not suffocate?

Giving the guy a handjob is out of the question because of those pesky laws...

I suppose if I were the private duty nurse on a long term basis in this particular situation… He would have to verbalize this need before I would create a specialized care plan--if he did make his needs known: I would go to my Dad’s shop and build a special bed for him that had a space for his face- with a hole in it so that he could be positioned on his belly without fear of suffocation.

I would place dirty magazines on the floor below his face so that he could look at pictures, and I would sit there and turn the pages till he found one that interests him. I would log roll some washcloths to place strategically around his pelvic area to provide more pressure. I would ensure privacy and safety then remove myself to the corner of the room and do my charting. Then I would clean him up, naturally.

I could rationalize this specialty bed on the fact that bed bound people need adequate turning and positioning to prevent skin breakdown. I wonder if the Insurance Company would provide reimbursement for the bed?

It is not just the laws that prevent the nurse from giving handy (even if we diminish the professional aspect of nurse -- patient notions) ...it is just too complex of a relationship to add any sexual dimensions when the needs of the patient are: total care, but I don't want to blow it and get all wordy here with the dynamics, unless of course you require an explanation.

 

[contrifan32]

I suppose if I were the private duty nurse on a long term basis in this particular situation… He would have to verbalize this need before I would create a specialized care plan--if he did make his needs known: I would go to my Dad’s shop and build a special bed for him that had a space for his face- with a hole in it so that he could be positioned on his belly without fear of suffocation.

I would place dirty magazines on the floor below his face so that he could look at pictures, and I would sit there and turn the pages till he found one that interests him. I would log roll some washcloths to place strategically around his pelvic area to provide more pressure. I would ensure privacy and safety then remove myself to the corner of the room and do my charting. Then I would clean him up, naturally.

I could rationalize this specialty bed on the fact that bed bound people need adequate turning and positioning to prevent skin breakdown. I wonder if the Insurance Company would provide reimbursement for the bed?

It is not just the laws that prevent the nurse from giving handy (even if we diminish the professional aspect of nurse -- patient notions) ...it is just too complex of a relationship to add any sexual dimensions when the needs of the patient are: total care, but I don't want to blow it and get all wordy here with the dynamics, unless of course you require an explanation.

Naturally, you would clean him up... or you would clean him up naturally? Either way, I love your creativity!

 

[sweepthefloor]

Naturally, you would clean him up... or you would clean him up naturally? Either way, I love your creativity!

gah my wording. I would clean him up as in: of course, cleaning the sperm off his belly and changing the sheets is the logical next step in my daily routine.
Thank you!

 

[sweepthefloor]

I am the neighborhood nurse and the news reporter for the Mothers of all my around the way boys. Trusted by parents since junior high.
She: Tell my son to call me, and love you, how is he? you doing good?
Me: He's doing alright, still with surgical pain, I threw his dirty ass in the shower last week while he screamed through the pain.
She: You hitched yet?
Me: No, and I don't want your son lol

fuck will they grow up?

 

[sweepthefloor]

Speech therapists can be dominating little bitches in click-y high heels.

 

[sweepthefloor]

I want to write for this magazine.

 

[Balladeer08]

I suppose if I were the private duty nurse on a long term basis in this particular situation… He would have to verbalize this need before I would create a specialized care plan--if he did make his needs known: I would go to my Dad’s shop and build a special bed for him that had a space for his face- with a hole in it so that he could be positioned on his belly without fear of suffocation.


I thought it was an excellent reply to a question that I got the impression was meant to embarrass you.

But it also made me wonder if this should be referred to as "masturbedshun". 8)

 

[sweepthefloor]

Cute!