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As The Hospital Pervs

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i need something to wake me up and give me lots of energy. i feel like i've been sedated.

i hope your day is going well. :rose:
 
I had to cash my first pay because the direct deposit didn't go through yet.
If I knew where the man sex workers were: I think I might pay for no talking.
 
sweepthefloor said:
Awwa I can give you some of my infectious manic energy! Feel me, feel me.
I'm doing alright out here!
Click to expand...

*feels up the manic nursie*

mmmmmmmm... i'm a little better now. cleaning makes me sleepy. i may need to grope you again later. you know. for the energy and all. :)
 
hahaha- i am a highly trained monkey, but i do not look like this!
suphernurse022309.jpg
 
Snowed in

I need a truck or a man with a truck.
I called my director and said: I am stuck in the middle of the road, in my little red car: I will be late.
She said: You are still on orientation: stay home. :eek:
 
In a world of ventric(k)s and burr holes and really big words, I got pulled to Neurosurgical ICU with my preceptor.

I just like to say: ven-trick for ventriculostomy. A brain drain.

trick trick trick.

During rounds I was drifting off into a space of action potential and excitability. I can't escape cardiology, the pump pump pump. I like pumps, all kinds of pumps. I was thinking about resting and diastole. I was dreaming of heart automaticity that is not dependant on the brain. There were little letters dancing around: Na+, Ca++, Cl-, K+ and gates, and the Na+ wants in real fast. I realized I might be escape pacing and I returned back to earth.

Back to earth to figure out how the brain and the heart communicate and why does my patients tongue deviate to the right when sticking his tongue out at me on my command.

can you follow my finger? give me a smile, now stick out your tongue.
thank you.
 
Control

I wear control type panty hose under my scrub pants and run to the bathroom and secretly rip little holes in them while sitting on the toilet that I don’t have to pee into.

Nurses are so controlling. It is a constant swing of taking command and giving it up at the same time. It really is bizarre.

Writing little numbers perfectly in little boxes on the chart intake vs. output every two hours. Floating around the room putting everything in a certain place, untangling wires and tubing because the twist drives me crazy.

Complete control over another human being in a vulnerable state, while attempting to remember to give that person some control over themselves to restore their own sanity: ‘No, I can not remove the intravenous catheter that is infusing potent hemodynamic cardiovascular chemicals into your blood stream, or remove this blood pressure cuff but would you like your telephone here or there?’

And again: I wear control type panty hose under my scrub pants and run to the bathroom and secretly rip little holes in them while sitting on the toilet that I don’t have to pee into.
 
great thread

Playing with penises, but not so it's fun. I guess we're establishing some boundaries.
 
succinylcholine

If you are a male patient on the cusp of being intubated and mechanically ventilated with a breathing machine and you hear the nurse say:

I have prepared the sux-

Do not misunderstand and wonder: why do they want to suck my cock during this emergency.

We are preparing to paralyze you with a neuromuscular blocking agent called succinylcholine. Sux is just easier to say. Don’t worry we will never forget the sedation to go with it.
--
I am one of those nurses that always believes- the patient can hear us, no matter what the clinical outlook. I always explain and speak as if they hear me and understand, because maybe they can.
 
sweepthefloor said:
If you are a male patient on the cusp of being intubated and mechanically ventilated with a breathing machine and you hear the nurse say:

I have prepared the sux-

Do not misunderstand and wonder: why do they want to suck my cock during this emergency.

We are preparing to paralyze you with a neuromuscular blocking agent called succinylcholine. Sux is just easier to say. Don’t worry we will never forget the sedation to go with it.
--
I am one of those nurses that always believes- the patient can hear us, no matter what the clinical outlook. I always explain and speak as if they hear me and understand, because maybe they can.
Click to expand...

will you be my nurse when i am sick?
 
neci_please_me said:
it's been a good day.
i keep trying to get in the way of it,
but it has been good.
productive. :)
Click to expand...
i know what you mean about 'getting in the way' of production. i do it all the time. i am always trying to train myself to be more 'task orientated' instead of being so fluid and dynamic. this is true for work and for home.
at work there are those task orientated nurses. they always seem to clock out right on time. i am constantly re-evaluating every situation, stopping what i am doing, moving on to something else, changing priorities etc. i do this at home too.
gah gah goals. i have them.
:rose:
 
The Modified Swallow Evaluation

Give your lover 5ml of water.
Does your lover cough, choke or have a wet voice?
Is your lover drooling or leaking water from the mouth?

If both answers are- no:
Repeat this 2 more times with 5ml of water.

If both answers are-no:

Proceed with the pre admission sperm diet and fill your lovers mouth with as much sperm as possible.
 
sweepthefloor said:
i know what you mean about 'getting in the way' of production. i do it all the time. i am always trying to train myself to be more 'task orientated' instead of being so fluid and dynamic. this is true for work and for home.
at work there are those task orientated nurses. they always seem to clock out right on time. i am constantly re-evaluating every situation, stopping what i am doing, moving on to something else, changing priorities etc. i do this at home too.
gah gah goals. i have them.
:rose:
Click to expand...

you have me pinned!

sweepthefloor said:
Give your lover 5ml of water.
Does your lover cough, choke or have a wet voice?
Is your lover drooling or leaking water from the mouth?

If both answers are- no:
Repeat this 2 more times with 5ml of water.

If both answers are-no:

Proceed with the pre admission sperm diet and fill your lovers mouth with as much sperm as possible.
Click to expand...

*swoon*

have i told you today that i love you?
 
The Cranial Nerves

CRANIAL NERVES

I- Olfactory
II- Optic
III- Occulormotor
IV- Trochlear
V- Trigeminal
VI- Abducens
VII- Facial
VIII- Audio vestibular
IX- Glossopharyngeal
X- Vagus
XI- Accessory
XII- Hypoglossal

Oh Oh Oh To Touch And Feel A Girls Vagina Ahh Hot

This is how I will memorize.
 
If I fail at most everything else- I really don't give a fuck anymore.

I am going to be a monkey- highly trained and when the patient is brain bleeding big time--

Prepare for the Triple Crown:
1.Ventriculostomy Cart
2.Swan-Ganz Catheter Cart
3.Arterial Line
with
4 Cables
4 Transducers
And Saline Flush.

And be sterile and pretty about it.
The End.
 
The Hospital is under construction. I smell men everywhere.
Men and jet fuel from the helicopters circling around my head- and flight nurses and paramedics in jump suits. Only I can't see them, they are on top of me.
I am aware.
I need to be caged lol.
 
I love reading this thread. It is interesting, funny, and some of the pics really grab me.

Just thought I'd let you guys know you are appreciated.
 
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