Thinking outside of yourself

[Ishmael]

Can it be done? When a friend is in in trouble or need it's easy to render advice. Unfortunately, that advice is unheeded. Why is that?

The inability to think outside of your own preconcieved world perhaps? And when a friend brings up a subject that is uncomfortable what is our reaction? Mental shut down most likely. "It doesn't relate to my situation. I don't have to listen to this. You just don't understand."

Each one of my children went through stages as they matured. (In a way I'm sorry they did mature, now they're trying to teach me. And sometimes they actually succeed!!!) They would come and ask my advice on a subject. An answer if you will, and an answer to a question that they had already decided the course of action to. It was a rhetorical question to be sure, but I would answer. If my answer didn't agree with what they had already decided to do, they would disclose futher details. In most cases the details were no more than justifications for what had already been decided on their part.

Now this was not new to me, hell, I did the same thing. The cycle was the same. Make a decision, seek validation. If the person you asked would not validate, then debate. If still no validation was forthcoming, find another validator.

At times we become so entrapped in our own lives it's almost impossible to think outside of ourselves. My analogy is it's like having your face against the television screen. You have a vague impression that something is happening, but your not quite sure what it is. Whereas those around us that care for us have the luxury of not living our lives and are viewing the scene from 6 feet back or more. They have a fuller picture. Perhaps not the best picture, but a broader perspective than our own.

So why do we persist on these paths that we take? As an expression of free will? Or because we are inherently unable to think outside of ourselves?

Ishmael

 

[Cheyenne]

Does this translate to:

"why is it hard to take good advice from others?"

 

[Hamletmaschine]

I feel your pain.

 

[Gusty Wind]

mmm...!!!!

man...

to think out side meant...

Take the goldfish out if the water.

And to get out of the 9 dots

to get out of the box.

to take yourself out of the situations

And LOOK again.

And treat it with NO Emotion Attachements.

And alway aware of SELF's EGO.

mmuuahh

hope you feeling better....

 

[frankies90]

So why do we persist on these paths that we take? As an expression of free will? Or because we are inherently unable to think outside of ourselves?

Ishmael [/B][/QUOTE]

My personal opinion is that we heed the advise perhaps not entirely mentally blocking the results rendered. Instead, the need for learning it ourselves. Yes, we do sometimes take the advise, but persist on one specific path or another. Only to find that the wrong path was taken....(learning the advise the hard way). It is our own expression of free will. Unfortunately, some as I would say the stubborn are the ones that don't heed the advise, but learn from they're own free will.

As for the unable to think outside themselves, well that is only in the eye of the one looking from the outside. :smile:

 

[MissTaken]

There are times that advice goes unheeded because we are feeling so downtrodden that when someone offers hope, we are afraid to reach out for it.

Kids do it.
Adults do it.

Other times, our egos won't let someone else's wisdom be more effective than our own.

Then, there are times we ask for advice when really we are seeking validation. If I ask you for advice and you can't come up with anything I haven't tried, then I know for certain that the situation is shit and I have done everything. Although, both of us might have missed a step somewhere.

Damn, I am tired.
I doubt I am making any sense, but take what you will from the post and leave the rest for the trash collector's on Thursday.

 

[watergirl]

Ishmael, that's a very good point you have. Hmmm.

I'll have to think about that and come back and post.

 

[pointless]

all reality is subjective. objective thinking is impossible. you can not think outside of yourself. you can only pretend to. hopefully, you can learn to be good at faking it. that is all you can hope for.

 

[watergirl]

Hmmm... I think you are right, sometimes I do want an endorsement, not a counter argument or different advice. What an interesting thing to point out. Of course, sometimes, it just has to do with needing to vent, and have a sympathetic ear.

I think that is one of those supposed differences between men and women - I read somewhere that men want to listen, and then give the answer that will fix your problem, whereas women will just listen and try to console and support... which can make men impatient - "If you know the answer already, why are you telling me this stuff?!?"

I think maybe I'm wandering off topic again. So I'll hush now, and go back to my reading.

 

[Jimi]

Can it be done? When a friend is in in trouble or need it's easy to render advice. Unfortunately, that advice is unheeded. Why is that?...
Whereas those around us that care for us have the luxury of not living our lives and are viewing the scene from 6 feet back or more. They have a fuller picture. Perhaps not the best picture, but a broader perspective than our own.

So why do we persist on these paths that we take? As an expression of free will? Or because we are inherently unable to think outside of ourselves?

Ishmael

I agree - those who TRULY care about our welfare have the perspective and the distance. Fear of change (the unknown?) may be the crux of it - I don't think that we are UNable to think outside of ourselves - but a good "third party" inspection undoubtedly helps!