*SIGH*....what should I do?

[SuperDot69]

I have a problem and seeing as I have exhausted all resources in finding an answer with "talking about it" & "trying harder", I don't know what else to do. I've even tried going to my closest and dearest friend for help. Now, what I'm talking about is this: I've been married for only 8 1/2 months...but we've been together 3 1/2 years and all of a sudden in the last couple of months, my(our) sex life has dwindled to almost zilch. We may actually have sex like, twice a month...it used to be 3-5 times a week or more. He says he's always tired and that he can't help it..even when he's had 2-3 days off of work and has done nothing but lay on the couch all day. And when we do have sex, all that matters is that he cums, if I don't, all he does is say he's sorry and then he rolls over and is asleep within 5 minutes. AAARRRRRRRGGGHHH....I don't know what to do!!!

 

[April]

Drag his ass to the doctor and get him checked out. It might be a medical problem.

 

[Ginny]

masturbate

 

[SuperDot69]

did i mention that lately, the only way i do get to cum is if i masturbate...and i recently B-R-O-K-E my vibrator....too much use is all i can guess....*sigh*

 

[Wiggles]

If he's interested in changing the problem...
Ask him to see a doctor. It could be physical.
If it's not physical it could be mental. Would he agree to seeing a therapist? Would marriage counseling be an option?

If he's not interested in changing the problem...
I don't know why he wouldn't.

It might help to write a letter to him, telling him how it makes you feel that you aren't desired by him.

Letters can be a good form of communication for touchy subjects. Be sure to use lot's of 'I' sentences, don't make him feel like your blaming him.

This is a problem for both of you, he might not be the only one to have to do some adjusting.

-Good luck SuperDot.

 

[secretluv]

It sounds like your hubby is in a state of depression hun. Try to talk him into seeing the doctor and getting something to help him and you.

Sorry you are going through this. Be patient with him and hopefully he will realize that he can get through this with some medical help.

Good luck sweetie!

Secretluv

 

[Jacqline]

I totally agree with the possibility that it's depression. I was there once myself.......When you are feeling no self esteem (or low self esteem), you can't bring yourself to doing much of anything. Being tired all the time is also a symptom. In those days, I slept 10-12 hours a night to escape the world.

Please take him to a Dr. There are many ways he can be helped but they first need to diagnose the problem. I like the suggestion about a letter ..........that will be good for him to read when he is alone and doesn't have to react to it in front of anyone.

Good luck...........my positive thoughts are with you.........

Jacqline

 

[SpectralDragoon]

Even if you write that letter, but don't have the courage to give it to him, it would be good to write, for you.

Do you two do things together? Get him up off that couch and out doing things. Things that you both enjoy together. Its hard to see the good things in life if you're stuck in the same routine day in and day out. Depression can take over and stay there. Break the routine and have some fun together.

 

[Cloak38]

I'm no expert but I would agree with the others who have posted here about the possibility of depression.
That's not uncommon in the winter months.
Exercise can be very important also. Maybe take a walk together each evening.

 

[sch00lteacher]

It sounds like your hubby is in a state of depression hun. Try to talk him into seeing the doctor and getting something to help him and you.
<SNIP>

I'd bet money on it being depression. And if it is he can't help it. He does need to see a doctor and they need to discuss treatment, usually medication and counseling. There is no quick fix. But their is a fix. Help him fight through it. Understand that he is sick, don't make matters worse by yelling at him for being tired all the time, etc...

I have suffered from depression for my whole life. It comes and goes. It never goes on it's own. I always wait until things are just so damn bad I can't stand it, then I get help.

Like the silly ol' song goes, stand by your man, and help him.

AND NEVER BLAME YOURSELF! This is not your problem, you did not cause it. It is a chemical imbalance.

Luck to both of you.

 

[SweetBrat73]

Well I have to agree with everybody here...the doc is the best bet for now.

Good luck to you. I hope things improve!!!


Brat