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Sexless Marriages

Loyalish1245 said:
it sucks when every part of the relationship except for the sex is wonderful. But I am extremely high libido, and my spouse is content with sex 4 to 5 times a year. I know that’s not as bad as some people on here, but it just destroys me, knowing that a cuddle on the couch will never lead to sex, scheduled times are always met with life or physical barriers. I’ve resigned myself to the fact that love is way more important than sex, but my body doesn’t agree with me.
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I know exactly how you feel. My wife and I are very much in love, lots of kisses and cuddles, but I know that it is never going to lead to sex.
 
Marie1772 said:
So I’m 30 and I’m constantly wet and horny 🥵💦👄😈 at the begging he fucked me constantly. Here lately the past year or so it went way down to maybe once or twice a month. Is it bad that I’m 30 and still so wet and horny allll the time?
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Torture for me, just torture. So close yet so far away
 
San Francisco 65yo MWM in sexless marriage for over 10 years. I miss the intimacy most, but hard going so long without sex of any kind. Love to chat with others.
 
Sexless marriage since around 1998. I think that means I got the boobie prize (because I have a sub with full access to her boobies. :)

First, my wife started to refuse anal. I could live with that. Then she refused BJ. I didn't like it but ok... Then she came to bed sweaty, smelly and gritty, got on all 4s and said that if I wanted to I could fuck her. I was NOT ok with that. She was also hording and piling stuff around the bed, so I moved to a spare bedroom. She said she would not have sex with someone that was not sleeping with her. I said I was OK with that.

Then the marriage trap started. I said I wanted a friendly divorce and she said she would fight divorce with every penny we had. Then my father died. I was emotionally not ready for a bloody fight. I wanted to be involved with our kid so I figured I would stay until our kid was older and understand things better. I went to see a lawyer to get divorce information and my mother in law, whom I really liked, got very sick. So I waited while trying to give support. The pattern took hold. Every few years I would start exploring divorce and someone in the family (that I like) would get deathly sick or outright die. It's gotten that I am superstitious about talking to lawyers or researching divorce. LOL, the last person was my wife, 2.5 years ago. She spent 8 days in the hospital, but she is doing great now.

A few years after the turn of the century I found a sub. I started the affair with her just to get my rocks off but her personality was great and we are still seeing each other after 22 years, though only about once a week since she became a grandma. Having a supportive sub/sex-toy/pet that I see whenever we can get away really helps.

At this point I am too superstitious about the illness/death pattern and I don't want to lose all my retirement savings to lawyers in what is certain to be a nasty divorce. I kind of settled into the rut of living with my wife despite the emotional and physical alienation. However, I do get physical and emotional support from my sub.
 
Married for 10 years.

Last year, wife informs me she is fully aro-ace, and that's why we haven't had sex in about eight years.

I love her and wish her well, I am now separated and trying to find someone who will be my forever woman.

She will always be an important person to me, but, it's akin to her coming out as gay, our marriage is over.

We are friends who shared 10 nice years together.

I need a lover I can share 40+ years together, where there's cuddles, kisses, hugs, and.... hopefully some sex too.
 
it's been over 6 years without sex with my wife. She lost all of her sex drive, so would it be wrong to find an FWB? We still love one another, but I need that physical contact that I so miss.
 
boxman11 said:
it's been over 6 years without sex with my wife. She lost all of her sex drive, so would it be wrong to find an FWB? We still love one another, but I need that physical contact that I so miss.
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Personally, I don’t think it’s wrong. Yes, I’m in a sexless marriage too, but I’m looking at it from the point of view that my wife isn’t giving me something that I want, need, and desire.

I’m not dating someone or hanging out with them, taking them to the movies and the park and cafes and whatnot. It’s just physical sex. We fuck and we move on. As long as I’m careful, descrete, don’t bring anything home, and she doesn’t know about it I don’t see it as a problem.

The problem I’ve had is trying to hook up with someone. As soon as they realize I’m married the deal is off. I’d like to find a married woman in the same situation I am, but it’s difficult to approach them. The signals, if any, are hard to interpret and I don’t want to get that “cheating husband” stigma at work.
 
Hi all. M here. Struggling in mine. It's been a year, but tapered off before then for years. The level of resentment i feel comes in waves and I now associate my partner with rejection rather than intimacy. Circumstances mean i'm a lil stuck. I also have a nice/long hair kink which I don't get to explore at all (happy to answer questions), and for a long time she was not particular interested in what I like anyway. I went on anonymous chat sites for about 6 weeks end of last year, but got a little scared after exchanging pics that it would be so easy to get duped, catfished, and incriminated without knowing. That being said, the month and I bit I spent on there was the happiest I'd been in a long time, but I have waves of guilt for it too.
 
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