Let's Talk About 'Gentle' FemDom

[DevotedHusband1]

One more post just to conclude my story. I did well as a knight to my queen yesterday and in the evening was rewarded with a chance to please her in bed. She came a couple of times, and then I did. She likes to be pounded for a long time, in lots of different positions, before I make her come. Quickies are not an option in my queen's household. I am expected to perform like a stallion every time.

Sunday was a good reminder to me of how dire the consequences can be if I fail to be chivalrous and respectful toward her at all times: that extra day without an orgasm really drove me to the edge of total insanity. I can retain for two days, three is a stretch but doable, but at four days I'm a basket case.

Our sexual dynamic where I restrain myself and we focus on her pleasure creates a funny role-reversal scenario where, after sex, I am still eager for her emotional and physical attention but she's had her orgasm and just wants to conk out. I often caress her feet while she nods off. I like it that this happens because it means I've done my job and she's totally satisfied. She tells me that her orgasms are incredibly intense, and she says that she sometimes ends up with muscle aches from coming so hard. Am I proud of this? You'd better believe it. I put a lot of effort and sacrifice into being able to give her the body and the erections that she needs in order to be erotically satisfied.

All things considered, it has been a good couple of days in our marriage, with crazy intense levels of the queen/knight energy that we both thrive on.

 

[ContinentalPsyOp]

totally dug all of DevotedHusband1's updates! Great times, loved reading. Four days without release definitely has that effect!

 

[DevotedHusband1]

totally dug all of DevotedHusband1's updates! Great times, loved reading. Four days without release definitely has that effect!

Thanks, ContinentalPsyOp, glad you enjoyed reading. If even one person enjoys these updates then it's worth posting one from time to time. I like writing about and reflecting on my amazing relationship.

Four days without release really is tough. It usually doesn't come to that unless she's been busy with work or I've displeased her in some way, which I of course try really hard to avoid doing. If she has had all the orgasms she wants and if my attitude has been good, I usually come every 2-3 days.

Last night we had incredible sex. She had me pound her for a long time in a variety of positions. Sometimes she just lets me pleasure her but sometimes, like last night, she gives a lot of specific instructions: "harder," "faster," "nice and slow," "all the way out and all the way in." It's such a pleasure to listen to her and then do exactly what she wants, to really feel like her personal fucking machine. After she came she had me spoon her with my hard dick still inside her and thrust gently while she drifted in and out of sleep. Then she had me rub lotion into her feet when she was ready to conk out for good. I ended the night the way I often do, with my cock still rock-hard and out of my mind with lust for her. I really need to ejaculate this evening so I need to make sure she stays happy with me all day long. Wish me luck!

 

[Iwant2havefun]

Thanks, ContinentalPsyOp, glad you enjoyed reading. If even one person enjoys these updates then it's worth posting one from time to time. I like writing about and reflecting on my amazing relationship.

Four days without release really is tough. It usually doesn't come to that unless she's been busy with work or I've displeased her in some way, which I of course try really hard to avoid doing. If she has had all the orgasms she wants and if my attitude has been good, I usually come every 2-3 days.

Last night we had incredible sex. She had me pound her for a long time in a variety of positions. Sometimes she just lets me pleasure her but sometimes, like last night, she gives a lot of specific instructions: "harder," "faster," "nice and slow," "all the way out and all the way in." It's such a pleasure to listen to her and then do exactly what she wants, to really feel like her personal fucking machine. After she came she had me spoon her with my hard dick still inside her and thrust gently while she drifted in and out of sleep. Then she had me rub lotion into her feet when she was ready to conk out for good. I ended the night the way I often do, with my cock still rock-hard and out of my mind with lust for her. I really need to ejaculate this evening so I need to make sure she stays happy with me all day long. Wish me luck!

Your updates are incredibly interesting, and it's so refreshing to see such a loving relationship that WORKS so well for both parties. i appreciate your time to send your updates....i'm living vicariously through you! Thank you, and congratulations to you both. So encouraging to see this....there's hope for all of us.... : )

 

[mssweetangelina]

Your updates are incredibly interesting, and it's so refreshing to see such a loving relationship that WORKS so well for both parties. i appreciate your time to send your updates....i'm living vicariously through you! Thank you, and congratulations to you both. So encouraging to see this....there's hope for all of us.... : )

Indeed there is.

 

[modestly_hungover]

Mid-40's male here. This is a topic that has fascinated/intrigued me for quite some time and yet have never been able to bring to fruition as women with whom I've had relationships have been attracted to a certain take-charge persona which quite frankly becomes exhausting. I'm looking for something perhaps where I can turn over that control but also need a gentle hand also willing to educate, etc.

 

[DevotedHusband1]

Your updates are incredibly interesting, and it's so refreshing to see such a loving relationship that WORKS so well for both parties. i appreciate your time to send your updates....i'm living vicariously through you! Thank you, and congratulations to you both. So encouraging to see this....there's hope for all of us.... : )

Thank you, Iwant2havefun! That's very kind. One thing you are right about is that it is a loving relationship. I should be clear about that. She does a ton for me. She is very appreciative of the effort I put into our sex life and always compliments me on my physique and on how hard my penis gets when I'm retaining. Having a gorgeous redhead moaning over and over again about how great your cock feels is pretty cool. She also loves to give me oral. True, she's doing it to warm me up so that I can pound her for an hour without coming, but still, she does like to do it.

And it goes way beyond sex. I have benefitted from following her guidance in all sorts of ways. Thanks to her my mental health has improved, I drink way less than I used to, and I generally live my life in a disciplined and purposeful way. She has helped me with all of these things, both by talking to me about them and by setting firm standards for my behavior. I like to think that I have also had a positive influence on her, but it doesn't compare to the way she has influenced me. This is simply another reason why I worship her, why she is my queen and I am honored to be her loyal and obedient knight.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to see if the queen would care for an orgasm...

 

[DevotedHusband1]

I am proud that I was able to give my queen a great evening of sex last night. We started off the way we often like to, with me rubbing lotion into her feet. This gives me a chance to put aside the cares of the day and get in a good headspace where I will be focused entirely on her and her needs, as I should be. It is such a pleasure to tend to her feet while thinking about how lucky I am to be the man who serves and worships her. After moisturizing and kissing her feet I gave her a nice long pounding followed by what she said was a ridiculous and very long orgasm. It was my third day retaining so I was very hard which she loved. After she came she again had me spoon her with my erection still inside her, thrusting gently while she fell asleep. When she was mostly asleep I gallantly pulled out of her and kissed her bottom and her feet for a while. She moaned softly for a while when I did this. When the moaning stopped I knew that she had finally passed out, and that I had served my purpose as her stud and was dismissed. I spent about 20 minutes walking around the house in a haze of dopamine and testosterone before finally getting into bed next to her and (eventually) falling asleep myself. What a night and what a woman!

 

[Wonderer67]

I think my wife’s and I relationship could be called gentle femdom. The relationship is based on mutual respect, common goals, tons of sexual appetite from us both. She’s an old school romantic woman and loves being treated well, being kissed and cuddling.

She’s not overly forceful about here dominant role. I wish she was more sometimes but it’s just not her style and who she is. Over the last 8-10 years I have really found myself really embracing my submissive side. Things I never thought I’d do or turn me on. (Being peed on/piss play), chastity, orgasm control and denial, some impact/pain play, and even some cross dressing, panty wearing, strap on play/pegging, etc.

It’s been a fantastic journey and I’ve enjoyed it and trying additional things in the future. The one common denominator is that her pleasure cums first. My orgasm is almost always denied, although I’ve learned how to receive sexual pleasure in other ways. Her sexual pleasure is always paramount.

 

[Lvncreampies]

I am 52 years old. My want and desires started as a pre-teen. I would lay in bed late night and and fantasize about being strapped down and a beautiful woman was using my hard cock and anus for her pleasure as I masturbated and would see how many pencils "she" could slide into my hole. If "she" could not get 1 pencil in than the night before(I think I got up to 16 or 17) then my cock had to be punished, I had to cum on my own face trying to get it in my mouth swallow it, suck the end of my cock clean and fall asleep with my cum on my face. My cock was punished by tying a strap around the base of my cock to my pulled up foot and then trying to straighten my leg for at least 2 minutes.

Like someone else wrote, for over 20 years in the Army I had tons of authority, after my first divorce I went looking for a woman that liked gently femdom. My definition is, agreed upon hard limits, no true pain like kick balls or burning, safe word, no blood drawn, biting okay, slapping ass and cock, clothes pins, pulling sack, hickeys, nipple pinching, being ordered to lick up my cum mess out of her and off of her. Pegging okay but done gently until comfortable. I have been pegged, cock pulled slapped, post orgasmic torture, wife loves telling me to lick her pussy clean as she sits on my face and mouth and using clothes pins strategically to make me sore the next day.

More love and sensual

 

[Wonderer67]

I showed my wife this thread and she thinks we are a little bit like Gomez and morticia Addams from the Addams family.

“Tish! That’s French!”

 

[reallyunsure]

I showed my wife this thread and she thinks we are a little bit like Gomez and morticia Addams from the Addams family.

“Tish! That’s French!”

It never ceases to amaze me how the Addamses are actually one of the most loving, mutually-supportive families ever shown on screen.

 

[DevotedHusband1]

Had an challenging non-sexual experience with my wife yesterday that shows how our relationship works. I got home from a big day at work and was really looking forward to having sex with her. I haven't come in a couple of days, and I was really raring to go. But she was feeling sad and frustrated about some things (nothing to do with me, thankfully) and just wanted to watch a movie. I was so aroused for her I didn't think I could handle being around her if we weren't going to have sex and asked if I could go do an errand for her, but she said she wanted me with her. So she chose a movie and we cuddled and watched it. I caressed her feet the whole time and was bonkers with lust, but the queen had decided she wasn't in the mood for sex and her decision is final.

Afterwards as she fell asleep she got to enjoy the feeling of my erection pressing into her back. It was a tough evening for me because I was so frustrated, but it was also a good exercise in putting my lady's needs first. If all she wants is a cuddle and a movie then a cuddle and a movie is what she gets. My role is to man up, deal with my frustration and give her what she wants. As always I avoided the temptation to masturbate and I am ready to offer her my cock if she wants it at any point today.

The queen's needs and happiness come first, always.

 

[msub50some]

This is a beautiful description. It's very much my own situation but with some nuanced, meaningful differences I've failed to navigate. Much of it's a result of my own character flaws and some due to her deep moral beliefs.

Had an challenging non-sexual experience with my wife yesterday that shows how our relationship works. I got home from a big day at work and was really looking forward to having sex with her. I haven't come in a couple of days, and I was really raring to go. But she was feeling sad and frustrated about some things (nothing to do with me, thankfully) and just wanted to watch a movie. I was so aroused for her I didn't think I could handle being around her if we weren't going to have sex and asked if I could go do an errand for her, but she said she wanted me with her. So she chose a movie and we cuddled and watched it. I caressed her feet the whole time and was bonkers with lust, but the queen had decided she wasn't in the mood for sex and her decision is final.

Afterwards as she fell asleep she got to enjoy the feeling of my erection pressing into her back. It was a tough evening for me because I was so frustrated, but it was also a good exercise in putting my lady's needs first. If all she wants is a cuddle and a movie then a cuddle and a movie is what she gets. My role is to man up, deal with my frustration and give her what she wants. As always I avoided the temptation to masturbate and I am ready to offer her my cock if she wants it at any point today.

The queen's needs and happiness come first, always.

 

[msub50some]

Another beautiful description of a wonderful relationship. Thank you for sharing.

We are both longtime pervs with lots of years of BDSM. We've each been on both sides of the whip. She has more fetishwear than most women have "wear." We're well acquainted with playing hard, playing public, etc.

And we are a "Gentle Femdom" couple 99.9% of the time. For us it comes down to her being herself - and creating a lifestyle that is livable for us on a long term basis.

See, she's not the porn fantasy Domme who is mean and nasty and impossible to please. She's kind, generous, and loving. That's who she really is and when we tried to bring Femdom into our everyday lives we quickly discovered that trying to fit the stereotype only made her miserable - which made me miserable.

So, is she in charge? Absolutely. She controls our money, time, and household, and has the final word on every decision she is interested in. I serve her because it makes sense. She's the best person I've ever known - so it is logical that I should serve and she should lead.

Neither of us is into the whole feminization thing or housemaid duties. It doesn't make sense to me that on one hand I worship and serve a woman - and on the other femininity should be used as a tool of humiliation. If she wants a girlfriend, she'll hang out with girls. If she wants a maid, she'll hire one. In our version, she gets to be herself and she uses me for things I'm good at.

We are not much into RACK or SSC because we don't need to be. We have been together a long time. She loves me and has no intention of doing any lasting damage. If I ever have to use a safe word it will be to protect her from doing inadvertent harm... but that has never happened and I doubt it will. She is an artist with the implements and I am in good and capable hands.

 

[Wonderer67]

Have to agree with the above. this is a nice description of how two people can make this work in their own lives. They know themselves and each other so well.

 

[nutoseen]

how

Welcome - shall we begin?

I have a few questions, but it would be great if the gentlemen chiming in here could give us just the tiniest bit of an intro by way of including their age and how they became interested in FemDom (gentle or otherwise). Thank you!

**How do you see 'Gentle' FemDom being different from the more traditional type of feminine domination?

**Why is it appealing?

**What does a 'gentle' Domme look like to you? How does she behave?

**What do you look for in a GFD relationship? What do you hope to get out of it?

**How do you see it fitting into your life - bedroom only, or lifestyle?

i was seen playing with myself. the older woman who saw giggled. i was in my 30's. a few weeks later we talked on the phone and i apologized for jerking off in her home without locking door. she kept me on phone for 10 minutes trying to reassure me no to worries about it and my size. i soon realized she was doing this on purpose and i slid my clothes off and began teasing the underside of my head. 10 minutes later i erupted. from the time i got naked and until i shot she mentioned my small size, asked if i was okay, told me she has seen all sizes and they all work and that we had to keep this a secret but we should talk more as she could tell i liked it.

 

[SayPlease818]

I love dominating men. Especially strong manly man.

 

[DevotedHusband1]

This is a beautiful description. It's very much my own situation but with some nuanced, meaningful differences I've failed to navigate. Much of it's a result of my own character flaws and some due to her deep moral beliefs.

Thanks! I just hope I am able to give some idea of how ardently I worship my queen.

 

[emme8]

I appreciate all the information y'all shared.

I am navigating this new aspect of my relationship with my hubby after 20 years together. So far it has been great, but I am not as confident as I would like to be. The stereotypical Femdom is definitely out of the question, I don't think I am sexy enough anymore, I can't stand to have my feet touched, plus I just can not be mean to someone I love.

I am working on orgasm denial. Bob enjoys being locked in a chastity cage, but only for a day or two. In fact after being out since Tuesday night, he is going back into it tonight for a while.

The idea of somehow turning the household chores into some sexual adventure is very intriguing to me. I am traveling for work much more now and Bob works from home, so the balance of housework has been shifting.

Thanks for the thread and the input.

 

[DevotedHusband1]

I appreciate all the information y'all shared.

I am navigating this new aspect of my relationship with my hubby after 20 years together. So far it has been great, but I am not as confident as I would like to be. The stereotypical Femdom is definitely out of the question, I don't think I am sexy enough anymore, I can't stand to have my feet touched, plus I just can not be mean to someone I love.

I am working on orgasm denial. Bob enjoys being locked in a chastity cage, but only for a day or two. In fact after being out since Tuesday night, he is going back into it tonight for a while.

The idea of somehow turning the household chores into some sexual adventure is very intriguing to me. I am traveling for work much more now and Bob works from home, so the balance of housework has been shifting.

Thanks for the thread and the input.

From a man's point of view, I really can't stress enough how important the orgasm denial aspect of this is. It will make him so much more motivated to please and serve you, and it opens so many doors. I would really focus on that in these early stages. As I said before, I have come to truly see my penis as belonging to my wife and to our relationship. Its purpose is to please her and to draw us closer together -- pleasure for me is a much lower priority. Once your man has really embraced this mindset, everything else just kind of falls into place. If he hasn't come in a couple of days and his only chance at it is keeping you happy, you will be the sexiest woman in the world to him. Just trust me on this.

Today is Valentine's Day, and I'm excited about the gift and date night I have planned for her. We decided we weren't going to exchange gifts, but I got her a gift anyway because I know that's what will make her happy. I love the asymmetry of this: my queen has not gotten anything for me, but I will be presenting her with a humble token of my devotion. This is as it should be. I give, she takes. She has already given me the greatest gift of all by allowing me to please and serve her. And trust me, if I have her toes in my mouth twelve hours from now there will be no one happier than I will be!

 

[emme8]

Today I had a little bit of playtime. The kids were at school and I was home with Bob.

It had been a really busy week with the kids so the house was a disaster. I wanted to lock him up before he started cleaning, so I could tease him while he worked, and reward him after by letting him out briefly. He kept wanting to clean something else first. I will be more insistent next time. But he knows he missed out this time by not allowing me to start play earlier.

Once the house was clean, I made him lock himself in the cage, while I wrote a to do list for the next 3 day I will be traveling for work.

Then I let him play with me until I came using a toy and his mouth.

Next I teased him by licking his balls and the tiny bit of his cock I could reach through his cage. We both enjoyed that, me especially. He commented that he was surprised by how much I really seemed to be enjoying this.

Then lunch and I read a book while he folded laundry, cooked dinner, and went to coach.

Tonight maybe I'll let him make me cum again. But I know he won't.

 

[nutoseen]

when you travel do you play via phone or tease him about what others may be thinking about playing with you while your husband is caged.?

Today I had a little bit of playtime. The kids were at school and I was home with Bob.

It had been a really busy week with the kids so the house was a disaster. I wanted to lock him up before he started cleaning, so I could tease him while he worked, and reward him after by letting him out briefly. He kept wanting to clean something else first. I will be more insistent next time. But he knows he missed out this time by not allowing me to start play earlier.

Once the house was clean, I made him lock himself in the cage, while I wrote a to do list for the next 3 day I will be traveling for work.

Then I let him play with me until I came using a toy and his mouth.

Next I teased him by licking his balls and the tiny bit of his cock I could reach through his cage. We both enjoyed that, me especially. He commented that he was surprised by how much I really seemed to be enjoying this.

Then lunch and I read a book while he folded laundry, cooked dinner, and went to coach.

Tonight maybe I'll let him make me cum again. But I know he won't.

 

[emme8]

Nutoseen.
Im really new at this. Let me have a few more week to see what works and I'll get back to you. Tonight is my second night away from home.

 

[nutoseen]

enjoy your newness. look forward to hearing how trips go