How do you help someone get over being abused

[Gil_T2]

Thank you for the helpfully advice...it is easy to write words,but it is harder to find a way to get through the pain that is within. Yesterday I got into problems with my father, I am living back at home for the month until my apartment is ready for me to go live back in. I am scared about how bad things get,yesterday I told my father I don't trust him and could never trust him when I got into a arguement....with them. I know that to a point its harder to deal with some things in life,but not all the way....

Sarah

Sarah isn't there another place you can stay away from the agro you suffer with your father? being there is not what you need as it will only reignite old memories.
Feel free to PM ANY of us if you wish as I'm sure all will be only to willing to assisit you.

Time ,love ,honesty & respect of you by others & most importantly for yourself.

 

[CreativeSubmissions]

Thank you for all the kind reponses,all of them put a smile on my face and helped me through the words within. Honestly with the situation with my father it has always been abusive more verbally than physically...he would hit me and slap me a few times...but now I am over it....I guess to a point he has drawn me away from him. Growing up he treated me differently than my sister since I didn't have his blood...being that I was adopted at a young age. He always treated me differently than anyone in my family so I learned at a young age to retreat into a shell.

Okay enough of me babbling about the past with him, I am trying to avoid him...because I know no big problems can arise but if a problem does come out at home..I have learned over the years how to handle it. Sometimes I try to find the urge to talk about my father but it is just hard to.....I also have to deal with the guy who raped me next week

The guy who raped me is a friend,I have this guy friend that I've known for years...he is best friends with the rapists....and my guy friend is having a party...of course I have to go since I've known him forever...but I am getting a little afraid of being around the rapists guy...since I haven't seen him since I was raped. Anyways that has been going on with me....I am trying to live life to my fullest,but things keep happening.

Sarah

 

[Don K Dyck]

Thank you for all the kind reponses,all of them put a smile on my face and helped me through the words within. Honestly with the situation with my father it has always been abusive more verbally than physically...he would hit me and slap me a few times...but now I am over it....I guess to a point he has drawn me away from him. Growing up he treated me differently than my sister since I didn't have his blood...being that I was adopted at a young age. He always treated me differently than anyone in my family so I learned at a young age to retreat into a shell.

Okay enough of me babbling about the past with him, I am trying to avoid him...because I know no big problems can arise but if a problem does come out at home..I have learned over the years how to handle it. Sometimes I try to find the urge to talk about my father but it is just hard to.....I also have to deal with the guy who raped me next week

The guy who raped me is a friend,I have this guy friend that I've known for years...he is best friends with the rapists....and my guy friend is having a party...of course I have to go since I've known him forever...but I am getting a little afraid of being around the rapists guy...since I haven't seen him since I was raped. Anyways that has been going on with me....I am trying to live life to my fullest,but things keep happening.

Sarah

Hi CS . . . uhm . . . there seems to be a certain element of self-destruction appearing in this course of action. I mean, the guy rapes you and by going to this next party you are implicitly saying, "Look here I am, rape me again."

Being a male he is likely to have boasted to his mates about his "exploits" and there is a real possibility that one of his "mates" will try a repeat performance. You deserve better than that.

Surely a better course of action would be to decline the invitation with a very clear "Thank you, but the last time I went to a party with X he raped me. I choose NOT to associate with rapists and their friends."

The reaction will be interesting. If he is shocked and goes into denial, just walk away . . . if he is a true friend he will contact you later and be supportive. Otherwise, you can probably do without him.

Then the police are still a viable option.

 

[CreativeSubmissions]

Oh since it was almost like a family thing, I was just thinking of spending time with family and the friends that I have that don't hang out with him....I didn't know what to do since I have known all of these people since a young age and I wanted to be there for the friend of mine,but I don't want to be anywhere near the guy who raped me.

 

[ecstacey]

wow,this thread really does help people. *bump*

 

[shadow_dreamer]

Originally posted by ecstacey
wow,this thread really does help people. *bump*

it's not only heartwarming and comforting knowing this thread is filled with people who help and care but a place we can come to to let our feelings out and share the pain we experienced from abuse.

 

[shadow_dreamer]

Bumpity, bump, bump

 

[ecstacey]

its a bumpnanza!!!!!

 

[Gil_T2]

Bumpity, bump, bump

*Gil joins S-D in bumping the thread

 

[shadow_dreamer]

Originally posted by ecstacey
its a bumpnanza!!!!!

It's a Hula Friday bumpnanza!!!

 

[shadow_dreamer]

Originally posted by shadow_dreamer
It's a Hula Friday bumpnanza!!!

Time for me to take a nap; showing my age and taking too much meds

Nighty night my Lit family and friends

 

[Gil_T2]

Hi S_D I think the nap might be needed to recover from all the HULA work.

Another bump for the thread & I'm happy to be bumping it rather than having ppl need to come here But if you do want to ask please do post & we hope we can help you.

 

[ecstacey]

i'm going for an operation today to help remove my scars wish me luck!

 

[Noor]

i'm going for an operation today to help remove my scars wish me luck!

Good Luck, Ecstacey!

 

[Monazwx]

I pray that everything went well.

 

[BrownEyes26]

*Bump*

Flowers and hugs for all


BE26

 

[shadow_dreamer]

Originally posted by ecstacey
i'm going for an operation today to help remove my scars wish me luck!

Best wishes and a speedy recovery.

 

[Gil_T2]

Another bump........

Hi S-D,Noor,Mona,BE glad to see you post here & hope life is treating as it should.

 

[shadow_dreamer]

Originally posted by Gil_T2
Another bump........

Hi S-D,Noor,Mona,BE glad to see you post here & hope life is treating as it should.

Hi All! Life is treating me very well but the weather SUCKS! Time to find a nice air conditioned mall or store to hang out in.

Aloha!

 

[Gil_T2]

Hi All! Life is treating me very well but the weather SUCKS! Time to find a nice air conditioned mall or store to hang out in.

Aloha!

Ahh the heat settles in in ALOHA land & we poor Aussies are cooling down to dusting off the heaters ready for the winter months.

 

[shadow_dreamer]

Originally posted by Gil_T2
Ahh the heat settles in in ALOHA land & we poor Aussies are cooling down to dusting off the heaters ready for the winter months.

I completely forgot when we're done with winter and ending spring you are preparing for winter.

Aww Gil you've got a great heater there with you. She's got everything you need at the tip of your fingers, lol

Take care...trying to do some baking of bread pudding to surprise my SO when he comes home (I know I'm not suppose to be doing anything but he deserves something sweet aside from his "sweetie"

"It still sucks as far as the weather. I can remember the days when I looked forward to summer, sun and the beach. Now in my older years I hid in the shade and seek air conditioning and whine because it's too dang hot!" -shadow dreamer 6/1/04

 

[Wolf_Song]

Wishing every one the best, which each of you herein and those still in silence.. truly deserve.

 

[Gil_T2]

I completely forgot when we're done with winter and ending spring you are preparing for winter.

Aww Gil you've got a great heater there with you. She's got everything you need at the tip of your fingers, lol

Take care...trying to do some baking of bread pudding to surprise my SO when he comes home (I know I'm not suppose to be doing anything but he deserves something sweet aside from his "sweetie"

"It still sucks as far as the weather. I can remember the days when I looked forward to summer, sun and the beach. Now in my older years I hid in the shade and seek air conditioning and whine because it's too dang hot!" -shadow dreamer 6/1/04

I remember well that during my working out doors I only altered my work clothing by adding a jumper or jacket & tracksuit pants in the cooler months to mid morning removing the trackies & tops stripping down to my shorts & T-shirts but now suffer in the hot days & your right about BANDIT being here to control my temps in all ways.

 

[Gil_T2]

Wishing every one the best, which each of you herein and those still in silence.. truly deserve.

So glad to see you drop in & hope life is being kind to you.

 

[shadow_dreamer]

Originally posted by Wolf_Song
Wishing every one the best, which each of you herein and those still in silence.. truly deserve.

Glad to have you join in with us...we send you the best from the heart.