Has viewing Porn affected your sexual relationship with your partner? ..Good, bad, neither?

[LMWM321]

Has your viewing Porn affected your sexual relationship with your partner? If so, how?

Clearly, there can be negatives. ..Knowing that you're watching tight-bodied porn stars doing extraordinary things can adversely affect a partners body-image and can feel like pressure to do things that are turn-offs for them. Or maybe too much porn has raised your stimulation threshold so much that it's hard to finish while engaged in sex with your partner? If these are true in your case, how do you mitigate these negatives?

But there can be positives like giving couples ideas of new things to try - like different positions, new toys new, role-play scenarios. Or maybe watching others have sex can elevate libidos that have ebbed. Has this been your experience?

Thoughts?

 

[Samtran123]

Watching porn has improved our sex life. We are now open to try new ideas including threesomes.

 

[BornNorCal]

Porn damaged by relationship with my wife, which is partly what led me here in the first place. However, sharing porn with my lover greatly increased our intimacy. So it depends on your partner and how you view things together and when you're apart.

 

[LMWM321]

Porn damaged by relationship with my wife, which is partly what led me here in the first place. However, sharing porn with my lover greatly increased our intimacy. So it depends on your partner and how you view things together and when you're apart.

May I ask, what about it bothered your wife?

 

[LMWM321]

My wife is fine with it, but I promised her I'll always follow these sensible rules:

• I'll never look at stuff that isn't fully consensual, or isn't convincingly enjoyed by all. ..No choking/ gagging BJ's, no "barely-legal", no painful anal or anything where the woman looks anxious or unhappy. I find this easy b/c that kind of porn turns me off.
• I'll never compare the women's bodies with hers.. Indeed, my preference is for Mature porn where the women have bodies much like hers. I'll take watching 40-50 + year olds over watching 20 and 30 year olds any day. To be enjoyable I need to be able to put myself in the scene and I'm not stupid enough to think younger women would have any interest in me.
• While I may propose new ideas - toys, positions, etc.. - that I see in porn, I'll never pressure her. I realize what I'm looking at amounts to fantasy. To make my wife feel bad about not doing what I see would be like her making me feel bad for NOT being able to do what a super-hero does in a Marvel movie.

All considered, it has been a positive in our relationship. Pegging harness, butt plugs, various vibrators, dildos and other toys - all of which she enjoys as much as I - wouldn't be a part of our sex life if not for seeing them used in Porn. And while she doesn't enjoy watching it, she's totally fine if I show her clip that show's a position we might try or how a toy is being used. ..She usually cringes as she watches it but agrees it can be helpful.

 

[forgotmyantidepressants]

I have a love/hate relationship with porn. As much as I hate it, I do still watch from time to time. If my husband watches, I don't care, but I don't want to know. He can have that part of his sexuality all to himself.

 

[Serge69]

It has kept me from leaving over sex

About the same here.

 

[MaximTerhune]

My wife suggested I watch porn to get myself off. Her libido is pretty low and mine has increased. Every once in awhile she asks what I'm into and we watch it together. When that happens, most times we get ourselves off personally. Occasionally we help the other. I'd say it's been pretty positive.

 

[Escierto]

I used to look at porn regularly but in my current relationship, I rarely look at porn. I just have no interest in it anymore.

 

[Not Normal]

I've always liked porn and it has held various places in my relationships. I've learned things, techniques, about toys,etc. At one point my ex-wife enjoyed it with me, and then she didn't have much of a libido and other issues. She encouraged me to use porn as a surrogate and that only got us so far...

My second wife is less into porn than she once was, but she enjoys the things that it brought to our relationship.

My paramour has never watched porn, but seems pretty happy with the techniques I've garnered from it.

 

[BiWifeMyrtleBeach]

My husband and I learned long ago we both enjoy porn. While we do not utilize it every time we have sex, porn of some variety is often part of our bedroom activities. We both are aware we watch porn solo from time to time. It doesn't bother me to know he gets off on his own, nor that does it bother him that I do as well. We have even gone so far as to tell and show each other what we were watching and that has led to some intense sexual times, not to mention occasions we have walked in on each other. My advice to women especially is, if you walk in and find your man jerking to porn, don't get mad. Instead, join him! You might find it takes your sex to a whole new level.

 

[SPARTAN047]

I've got much better ideas now but my own and other's body images have been affected.

 

[live4thebj]

It enticed me to eat my wife’s pussy for the first time when we were dating. She even told my sister sex with me is amazing. We are now divorced.

 

[Sct73]

Since there has been no sexual activity there’s no effect from porn

 

[13Fantasies]

Used to watch together occasionally. But when sex left, everything related left.

Hasn't hurt or helped

 

[LMWM321]

I've got much better ideas now but my own and other's body images have been affected.

That's a shame. ..Sorry to hear that. That's why I try to steer away from the professional stuff. ..I prefer amateur porn involving older (>40) people. As I've said before, for porn to be fun for me I have to be able to imagine myself in the scene.

 

[SPARTAN047]

That's a shame. ..Sorry to hear that. That's why I try to steer away from the professional stuff. ..I prefer amateur porn involving older (>40) people. As I've said before, for porn to be fun for me I have to be able to imagine myself in the scene.

Happens. I do love some amateur porn, but I see sexy women, men, trans women and femboys on Reddit who might be photoshopped, but their six packs, curves, tits and arses make me so jealous anyway.

 

[mortis]

Both

Helped in my ability to be more patient and less aggressive. She started enjoying toys.

Hurt for I’m thinking about sex 24*7 and she feels less adequate than the horny or porn girls.

 

[Chernosoth]

There's an easy move I've seen a few times but never got around to trying: putting fingers around the labia instead of between, and squeezing them lightly. I could write a note and tape it to a condom wrapper.

 

[Hipshot1554]

Porn has taken over my life! And it’s all my husband fault for introducing me to it and to role playing. The problem now is after talking me into being a hot wife he now has cold feet and wants to end this. My problem is I can’t stop now

Amazing!

 

[slightlysubhub]

I would say it’s improved,we both have always enjoyed porn almost daily even before we met. We’re both extremely attracted to eachother physically and at she’s honestly got the body of an amateur/natural porn star. She’s never failed to get me turned on.
It usually helps with ideas for toys,positions and other scenarios. It also opens up conversations about our sexuality more specifically her bisexuality and that she’s leaning more lesbian which is an interesting turn of events that I’m intrigued by.
We both masturbate to porn constantly and if anything it has desensitized me in a very good way that I tend to last way longer with her in bed. The same for her,she always needs one of her vibrators to help her finalize her orgasms.
All of this had been guided or influenced by our favorite porn genres.

 

[MH2024hot]

Has your viewing Porn affected your sexual relationship with your partner? If so, how?

Clearly, there can be negatives. ..Knowing that you're watching tight-bodied porn stars doing extraordinary things can adversely affect a partners body-image and can feel like pressure to do things that are turn-offs for them. Or maybe too much porn has raised your stimulation threshold so much that it's hard to finish while engaged in sex with your partner? If these are true in your case, how do you mitigate these negatives?

But there can be positives like giving couples ideas of new things to try - like different positions, new toys new, role-play scenarios. Or maybe watching others have sex can elevate libidos that have ebbed. Has this been your experience?

Thoughts?

Long story, ha. Devoured it in my 20-30s, graduated to cam shows in my late 40s. Didn't impact my ability or desire to pleasure my wife, probably made me cum quicker (at times). But she enjoyed manual stimulation and would cum a dozen times easy. She had a boring view of sex, I reached out and tried to broaden but she wasn't interested so I kept jacking off.

Recently had a months long progression and conversation about porn and now I masturbate to soft core with her. It's incredible, esp as she's very religious which was another massive barrier to all this, But got the walls to crumble down and she's having fun.

Now, for me I would consider jacking off to porn alone to not be a good thing. I want to share my lust with her. (But I'd be fine if she masturbated alone, I would just want her to tell me).

 

[KyleR215]

No. I was in a relationship that was basically sexless and for me porn was the only thing keeping me from stomping out puppies.

(kidding. i would never stomp puppies)

I think porn kept me in the relationship longer than I probably should have been in the relationship. I probably should have been free of that relationship years earlier but the porn kept me in it because I was at least satisfying myself

 

[LMWM321]

What a great multi-layered question. I ask myself this regularly.

Thanks for your complex, nuanced answer. ..It really is complicated.

I do worry for younger people. By the time I finally lost my virginity at 20, I had only seen a few Playboy and Penthouse mags. So for me, just seeing a real woman lying on a bed without clothes sent me over the goddamn moon. Missionary style sex was more than enough and when my partner and I were feeling really kinky, we'd do doggie style and/ or 69. Nowadays, that seems positively quaint! Today, kids have probably seen gang bangs and bukakke porn on their phone before they're 12. Blech!

I think for Porn to stand any chance of being a Net Positive, parents have to speak to their kids openly, directly and without judgment. They need to make sure their kids understand that Porn is to sex what a Marvel Movie is to real human abilities - eg., a woman having sex w/ 5 guys and moaning joyfully as she's getting covered in their cum is just as much a fantasy as a person catching a train car falling from a destroyed bridge. Kids need to understand this and internalize this before they ruin a relationship with outlandish sex expectations. And they need to be told to stay away from anything non-consensual by dint of age, mental state, relationship, etc..

My wife doesn't look at porn but she does enjoy helping me write stories (See my signature - start w/ Mature Hot Wife... if interested). And it does wonders to get us revved up. And when I look at porn, it's always consensual and at least appears to be mutually enjoyed. And I've never chosen looking at porn over real sex with my wife. On the contrary, if my wife says, "Do you wanna continue looking at your porn or come upstairs and fuck?" The lid is slammed shut and I'm running up the stairs. Those are our rules for my consumption of porn.

So, for us, it's been a net positive

EDIT: I am just now realizing I said all of the above earlier in the thread. Sorry.

 

[SpicyMama38]

If I had the sex life I wished for with my spouse I think it would add to the experience. If I consume porn it turns me on and gets my libido going. If my husband were interesting take that energy and apply it to our sex. Since he has such a low see drive and no desire to have sex the way I like it, he doesn’t get the opportunity to benefit. My solo sex surely benefits though.