Does your spouse/SO know the true number of lovers you have had?

[Kenny9990]

Do you talk about the number of other lovers you have had with your spouse/SO? If so, have you told them the truth? Do you know or care how many others they have been with? Does this result in jealousy?

Personally, my wife is very jealous so we canot discuss this topic--I have been with more women than she knows about. I leave it like this as she would suffer needlessly if she knew the truth.

Also, she claims (today) I am the only man she has ever slept with. In the past she has told me of two others?? Again., I let it go because I am not jealous and it its not important to me. I just don't understand why she feels she needs to lie.

 

[Temptress_1960]

cumulative or simultaneous?

 

[Ezarc]

If I don't know the number how could I tell her?

 

[curious2c]

Not meaning to sound off key here...but why should past lovers matter? I have never told and never asked either. She has told of one, didn't make any difference to me.

 

[His_kitty]

cumulative or simultaneous?

ha!






No, I never told my ex husband when we were dating or when we were married how many lovers I'd had before him.

The one time that he asked I let him know that it was personal and before him, therefore none of his business. The only thing that was important was that I was faithful to him.

 

[Shadowann2]

We have talked about it extensivly over the past six years. I think it is important for a couple to be able to share this information with each other. My husband knows off all but one and that was because I made a bad choice and cheated on him once. I don't know for sure how many he has been with because he can't rmember them all. He thinks it's between 25 and 30 women. It bothers me bacause I think that sex is something special and if there have been so many that you can't remember, it's obviously not that special to you! (no offence to anyone, that's just my personal opinion)

 

[penguindance]

 

[QuickDuck]

with us... it sort of comes up in conversation.. maybe when we are talking about something in particular.

She knows all of mine and is comfortable with it *shrug*

I have never asked her about hers but feel that if i wanted to know, then she would tell me.

Frankly, I can;t really be bothered though.... its the now that matters most

 

[Violette]

Of course I told him; the number was too damn small for him to make a fuss about, anyway!

It's HIS number my inquiring mind REALLY wants to know! (He did tell me, but I have this nagging feeling it might be higher...)

 

[Cheyenne]

Of course I told him; the number was too damn small for him to make a fuss about, anyway!

ditto.

 

[capricious_chic]

Just my thought on this. If you are entering into a relationship, shouldn't one be able to be honest about all aspects of one's life? Otherwise, it is deceptive (to one's self and the other). Aren't many relationships failing because of lack of communication? I see many people posting about how their spouse doesn't satisfy them in whatever means, but were they honest with each other from the get go? As things changed and things discovered.. shouldn't it have already been a talked about previously?

Perhaps I am thinking of an "ideal" relationship that is not truly feasible?

Dunno, never been married. On some level the communcation was lacking, and I knew that the person I was involved with wouldn't be able to meet all of my needs.

 

[bad kitty]

Yep, he knows. It's not that many, besides total honesty and openess is important.

 

[Guest]

Yes. Thanks again.

 

[SkyBluAngelEyes]

Do you talk about the number of other lovers you have had with your spouse/SO? If so, have you told them the truth? Do you know or care how many others they have been with? Does this result in jealousy?

Personally, my wife is very jealous so we canot discuss this topic--I have been with more women than she knows about. I leave it like this as she would suffer needlessly if she knew the truth.

Also, she claims (today) I am the only man she has ever slept with. In the past she has told me of two others?? Again., I let it go because I am not jealous and it its not important to me. I just don't understand why she feels she needs to lie.

Yes, I've told numbers and it was the truth. I could really care less about his numbers. The past is the past. Leave it there.

 

[huskie]

no. she don't wanna know

 

[Gord]

The day you start getting jealous of your partners previous lovers/boyfriends/girlfriends is the day you start ending your realtionship - it is a one way street to nowhere

It does affect a lot of couples though.

People have always had different paths - some had very few partners , others were a bit wilder - who cares


I think it is natural to want to know a little about your SO's previous life - you know significant people , last girlfriend etc. But if it becomes an obsession -you will see things that were never there

 

[jass1960]

Of course I told him; the number was too damn small for him to make a fuss about, anyway!

It's HIS number my inquiring mind REALLY wants to know! (He did tell me, but I have this nagging feeling it might be higher...)

...well only worry if it's still increasing.........

 

[brokenbrainwave]

in two words, HELLLLLLLL NO!

 

[bknight2602]

in two words, HELLLLLLLL NO!

Yea what he said.

 

[huskie]

in two words, HELLLLLLLL NO!

how much would you pay to keep that info secrete??

 

[brokenbrainwave]

nice try ya neutered pup. She already knows she does not know. But then again, I did not know about the series of one night stands she had till after 7 years of marriage and one good drunk.


I really hope that was before we were married. One of these boys looks Asian.

 

[sunstruck]

He's never asked now that I think about it. lol I'd tell him if he did. Maybe he's afraid if he asks he'll have to answer. lol Personally I don't really care.

 

[plasticman33]

Good God! I hope not!!

 

[Gil_Favor]

i dont even know how many lovers i have had so i vote other

 

[Lady Tango]

We have discussed it and although we didn't give exact numbers we know enough to realise that it isn't a problem for either of us. Why should it? Nowadays, it is quite common to have had other lovers. I don't regret it and neither does he. If anything our previous experiences has enhanced our lovemaking.