Cosmo funny and questions

[SassySheDevil]

I don't like depending on others to help...

Reading a couple more "embarrassing" ones. This one made me laugh

Guy- I was trying to compliment my date and she had really cute dimples, I meant to tell her that, but instead I said "You have really cute nipples"

haha...


I'm going to do some poses that I promised Ms Fara today. I hope you will think about your embarrassing moments.

 

[SassySheDevil]

Here you go Fara... Fun Positions for dates. These positions cover every date you can go on.

 

[lakesailer_mi]

Here you go Fara... Fun Positions for dates. These positions cover every date you can go on.

If you go to a church function together....missionary?

 

[Farawyn]

If you go to a church function together....missionary?

What's Church, Preciousssss?

 

[Farawyn]

I don't like depending on others to help...


I'm going to do some poses that I promised Ms Fara today. I hope you will think about your embarrassing moments.

Thank you. I am writing this all down.

Wait. Your first sentence. Does that mean I SUCK?

Welcome back, Sassyass.

 

[SassySheDevil]

Thank you. I am writing this all down.

Wait. Your first sentence. Does that mean I SUCK?

Welcome back, Sassyass.

You tell me

I have promised myself I will stay in this thread and Emmys thread.
You did not suck. But I didn't feel it was right to ask you to do the work on my thread.

 

[SassySheDevil]

Sex Talk Realness: Anal Sex Tips From Two Women Who've Had It

Of all the sex acts, In The Butt remains one of the most misunderstood and taboo. Here, two anal sex enthusiasts give anybody who's interested in trying it out some real talk




Generally speaking, anal sex isn't the first thing that comes to mind when you are thinking of mutually pleasurable things to do with a partner. Instead, the urban sex legend goes, "Guys want it because they've heard it's tighter than normal sex and they've seen it in porn, and girls occasionally acquiesce as a bargaining chip/reward/very special birthday present."

But aside from tipsy late-night conversations between women (or women and their gay guy friends), practical knowledge of butt sex in the wild is hard to come by. Thus, we asked two women who have actually done it about their motives, their preparation process, and whether it's ever gotten them off.

Probably the No. 1 thing we all want to know is ... does it hurt?
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Woman A: For me, it did. That first time was like, "Oh dear god, nothing is supposed to go in there." You really have to relax. Like a lot of deep breathing and you have to let everything go. Then it kinda stops hurting when you finally relax, but for me, it can get bad again when he starts thrusting. I read that putting in a plug during foreplay helps a lot, but I've never used one.

Woman B: Yes! If it didn't, this wouldn't be a topic of conversation.

Why do it?

Woman A: I decided to try it because I'd heard it can be really pleasant and some girls can orgasm from it. It's also really taboo and naughty, and I'm one of those girls who likes that. So I thought I'd give it a shot.

Woman B: I usually only do it when drunk and if trying to impress the lucky dude I'm with.

Who wanted to do it more — you or the guy?

Woman A: Me. I had heard that some girls love it, so I wanted to try it. The guy I'm with is not really into it, which is part of the reason I've only done it three times.

Woman B: Him. When it happens, it's because I've conceded. Depends on how much I'm into him ... and afterward, I kind of feel like he "owes me something."

What does it feel like the first time?

Woman A: It's weird. It feels tight and not pleasant. It feels like a muscle cramp. Like you're trying to open a muscle and stretch it out and it doesn't want to listen. That's what it feels like at first. I didn't like it. And then you relax and it feels a little better.

Woman B: At first, extremely unpleasant. Kinda feels like a penis going in your anus.

What does it feel like over time?

Woman A: It feels like you're full and it's super-intense.

Woman B: Over time, you adjust. Similar to vaginal intercourse, I suppose.

Does it ever feel good?

Woman A: I know some girls who love it ... [but] it's one of those things that definitely takes more than one try to see if you like it.

Woman B: It never really feels good. Just becomes more tolerable, I suppose. It also depends on the size of his manhood.

Is getting a wax back there expected the way it is for other body hair down there?

Woman A: I don't think you have to get waxed. In the beginning of my relationship, I'd get Brazilians, but now I rarely wax for him. So I wasn't waxed. [But] it might the girl feel more comfortable if she is waxed, if she worries about that stuff.

Woman B: No, a wax isn't required ... I suppose any dude who's into anal wouldn't be so particular as to request a smooth entryway.

On average, how soon in the relationship — if it's a dating scenario — do you think it generally happens?

Woman A: We had been together for seven months before we did it. But I know girls who do it when they first hook up with a guy. But those are the girls who love it.

Woman B: Hmm ... in my experience, if he's into it, you know soon into the relationship. This type of "fetish" isn't easily concealed, in my opinion.

How much lube? What brands are best?
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Sex Talk Realness: BDSM

Woman A: Lots of lube! Like, lube on me and lube on him. I couldn't even imagine doing it without lube.

Woman B: Lots. Any kind. Even saliva if nothing else is available.

Do you bleed?

Woman A: I didn't bleed (well, at least not that I know of). But I feel like it's totally possible, especially if the guy forces it or you don't use lube (cringe).

Woman B: Not that I recall.

Do you spread a towel on the bed or anything?

Woman A: I'm not really sure why you would? I feel like it isn't more messy than normal sex.

Woman B: Sheet stains are a risk and should be considered collateral damage.

Do you have to get an enema and/or anal douche? (I heard you have to get an enema, but from a friend who is sort of uptight/crazy.)

Woman A: So I thought about this, but no, I didn't get one. I wouldn't in the future either; I feel like that would be such a process. And I've never heard of anyone doing that, so I don't know if this is normal and I just wasn't following protocol.

Woman B: Nah. If he's requesting entrance to my exit, he should know the risks at hand. Unless you had Chipotle for dinner. Then I'd say enema, for sure. I feel like this tends to present itself in the heat of the moment. Who's gonna say "Hang on, hon, let me go flush my ass. I'll be back in a few?"

Is there a big cleanup afterward?

Woman A: I don't think there's a big cleanup. Especially if you have a condom. Just slip it off and that's all the cleanup we needed.

Woman B: Again: Chipotle.

Are there useful things re: angles that we should know?

Woman A: I did it doggy style the first time and then I did it with him sitting on a couch (I was on top with my back to his chest sitting on him). The second is definitely better. And according to two gay guys I know, the correct way to do it is to have the girl on top and she can ease herself down and go at her own pace, and once that happens you can flip yourself over so he's on top now and then you can do whatever you want. But the most important is for the girl to go at her own pace.

Woman B: I think doggy style is most conducive.

Condoms still, obviously, right?

Woman A: Totally to the condoms.

Woman B: Even more so!

Have you ever had an orgasm from anal sex alone?

Woman A: No, but I've heard it's possible.

Woman B: Nope, but then again, I've never had one from vaginal penetration alone.

 

[Eva_Star]

Woman B: At first, extremely unpleasant. Kinda feels like a penis going in your anus.

Haha! I like this girl! I needed a laugh this morning.

 

[SassySheDevil]

Haha! I like this girl! I needed a laugh this morning.

haha that made me laugh too. You just can't explain it any better.

 

[barefootgirl69]

*sits down with tea and toast to read today's subject*

 

[EroticRomanticMan]

Tea and toast sounds good. I am ready for anal sex now I just have to find a willing participant! I promise to go slow and use lots of lubrication!!

 

[SassySheDevil]

For the BDSM crowd.


Sex Talk Realness: BDSM

"Imagine finding a deliberate knife mark on your best friend's thigh and then being introduced to the person who put it there."






Two anonymous women and one anonymous man talk to Cosmopolitan.com about their experiences with BDSM.

How old are you?

Woman A: Twenty-two.

Woman B: Thirty-four.

Man A: Twenty-six.

What are your favorite BDSM-ish things to do in bed?

Woman A: I like rope bondage, impact play (being struck by an implement or bodily force), role-play,and edge play.

Woman B: Dominance and submission.

Man A: Broadly speaking, I'm really into playing with control, whether that manifests through bondage, giving or following orders, or other ways. I'm also a rope bondage enthusiast, and spend a bit of time practicing knots and finding people who want to be tied up.

Are you dominant, submissive, or a switch?


Woman A: I'm a switch with submissive tendencies.

Woman B: I'm a slave within a master/slave relationship.

Man A: Mostly I take the dominant role at the moment, but several years ago I was in a relationship as a submissive, and I enjoy switching.

How old were you when you first tried BSDM?

Woman A: Sixteen.

Woman B: Thirty-one or thirty-two.

Man A: I was 18 when I found someone with compatible interests, but I bought myself a pair of cheap bondage cuffs when I was 16. I can't remember a time when my sex life didn't involve BDSM-oriented fantasies.

What made you want to try it?

Woman A: A boyfriend introduced me to it.

Woman B: At first I was horrified that people could do this to themselves but the idea stuck in my mind. When the fantasies started, I ventured online to look into it a bit deeper. I decided I wanted to give BDSM a try and have loved it ever since.

Man A: For something to be hot for me, it needs to involve a power exchange. My sex life and relationships made a lot more sense, and worked much better, once I realized that!

Did it live up to your expectations?

Woman A: Yes. I had very limited exposure [to BDSM] at that point, so I didn't have many expectations. I also happened to be with a very competent partner.

Woman B: It has exceeded my expectations. At first [BDSM] was all about my sex life, now it's become something more. Neither my partner nor I were looking for a dom/sub relationship that went much further than our bedroom door, but that's what we have ended up with. I never expected that I would thrive within a relationship that is as defined and structured as mine.

Man A: Finding my first partner who had compatible desires was wonderful. We both learned a lot and are still very good friends. Now I'm getting to grips with the public BDSM "scene," and everyone has been extremely welcoming.

What do you like most about BDSM?

Woman A: I'm very independent in everyday life and there is a high expectation for me to succeed. So it is a great relief to exist momentarily in a role-play scenario where I am treated like a child, expected to fail as a result, and punished when I don't behave. Bondage and impact play are both physical forces that are so consuming they help me achieve a sort of "braincation," which is very similar to yoga (which I also practice and have instructed in the past).

Woman B: Aside from the amazing sex and mind-blowing orgasms? To be in a relationship with someone who loves me and who allows me the space to be myself and have my very specific needs met is something that I cherish. When you cut through all the bells and whistles, we are just two people who have created a relationship that satisfies the both of us.


Man A: I love the intimacy of it. You can run a really intense scene which takes someone across a whole range of emotions from scared to excited to desperately pleading and turned on without removing a single item of clothing or touching any of the usual erogenous areas. Oh, and there's really hot sex.

Is there anything you don't like about it?

Woman A: It is sometimes challenging to be a kinky person around people who are not kinky or have a low tolerance for such behavior — most notably my parents. My close friends are understanding, but only to the extent that they can be as reasonable humans. Imagine finding a deliberate (albeit artistic) knife mark on your best friend's thigh and then being introduced to the person who put it there.

Woman B: I've found myself questioning who I am and what I'm doing based on something I've read or heard. I don't wear much black, I don't feel comfortable naked, I don't have a voyeuristic bone in my body. I have a high sex drive and need to feel sexually satisfied. Challenging the dominant idea of what it is to be a submissive woman in your relationship can be hard work.

Man A: Having strong BDSM preferences can be very challenging for dating as it adds an extra dimension to find compatibility for. Awesome person, check. Likes me, check. Fairly attractive, check. Has no obnoxious habits or political opinions, check. Compatible kinks... dammit. The BDSM subculture can also be a bit of a minefield — there are lovely people, but sometimes the off-putting or dangerous fringe elements are loudest.

How do you negotiate consent with BDSM stuff?

Woman A: I have only ever played with people I've been in long-term relationships with, but I use safe words within all of them. I'll often break the parameters of a scene to make my partner aware of a sensation I'm experiencing. For some, dismissing a top or Dom(me)'s command and addressing them directly might take away from the heat of that moment, but I know that if I inform my partner of a mistake on their end early on, that the next time we play it likely won't have to be addressed again.

Woman B: For us it is pretty simple: We talk. I know that no matter what, if I say no, he will stop and figure out what is going on. While we do have a "he says, I do" relationship, I know that if I have a problem with something, I can say, "Hey, wait a second," and let him know what I'm thinking.

Man A: It depends on the situation. As a prepared kind of person, I have a list of limits (and a list of turn-ons, because I like to be helpful like that) and I've had discussions with my partner about what kind of things I can do with other people. Personally, I often like to fight and resist, so I use the traffic light safe words. That means I can fight or say "stop" and "no" as much as I like, but my partner knows I'm having fun and everything is fine unless I say "red."

How important is BDSM to your sex life?

Woman A: Very. I don't enjoy vanilla sex acts if they are not paired with some form of kinky play.

Woman B: Very important. In the confines of my relationship, BDSM is so much more than the props and words that we use. It's a commitment to being who you are and seeking what it is you need in a way that is mutually satisfying, involves conscious decisions with an understanding of the possible risks, undertaken by adults who get the difference between real life and the porn fantasy.

Man A: Very — I consider it part of my sexual orientation and I'm not sure I could have a romantic or sexual relationship without it.

What do you think are the biggest misconceptions about BDSM? Other than that it's all just like Fifty Shades of Grey.

Woman A: Where do I begin? There's a misconception that BDSM or kinky sex is a type of lowly human behavior. Sex is primitive, but the way in which we enjoy it has evolved tremendously, and I consider BDSM to be on the very latter end of that evolution. When I bring curious vanilla friends (a few of whom are now kinky) to their first kink events, their immediate response is always, "This is just a bunch of nerdy people geeking out over sex." It's a pretty accurate reaction.

Woman B: That because I am in a master/slave relationship that he makes all the decisions and controls everything. That submissive equates promiscuous. That BDSM is all about the whips and chains, kneeling, and being fucked 24/7. That BDSM is abuse or that because I'm submissive I can't be abused. There is also a misconception that the rules of dating stop at the BDSM doorstep. If a guy would be seen as a jerk by your friends, chances are he is still a jerk — he just calls himself a Dom.

Man A: That it is super-serious, and must involve pain or suffering. If things are going on that the participants really don't want to happen on any level, that's not BDSM. Some people want to devote their lives to developing an intense master and slave relationship, and others want to be restrained or hurt. Others might want to be pampered, and some really enjoy causing pain. None of these is better or more "authentic" than any other and just because you are interested in one thing doesn't mean you have to try others.

Do you have any advice for Cosmo readers who want to try BDSM?

Woman A: FetLife is a great social network to join, even if you're not looking to find an immediate partner. It's got tons of very active user-run forums for beginners with all interests. If you're looking for introductory events in a major city in the U.S., The Wink is a great place to find them, from parties to educational workshops to support and discussion groups.

Woman B: Have a go! But please remember that you are still a whole person and that being submissive, dominant, or getting your kink on in the bedroom doesn't mean you have to forget who you really are. You can be you and be kinky. Understand what you're asking for: If you say you are a no-limits slave, then trust me, there will be someone out there who will take that literally. You don't have to do everything and anything to be kinky.

Man A: Take the time to sit down and figure out what you want. It's OK if the answer is that you don't know and you want to explore, but even then it really helps to have a direction. It also helps to have an idea of what you really don't want. Then talk to your partner (or hookup, or fuck buddy, etc.) about it. It doesn't need to be a clinical planning session — you can discuss hypothetical scenarios for other people, share porn that you find particularly hot, or plot fantasies out together. This might seem like very basic advice, but I know I still find it difficult at times to actually use words to express what I want, and miscommunication, or one partner going ahead with a grand kinky plan and the other person not being prepared for it seems to be one of the biggest problems people run into when starting to try some BDSM.

 

[SassySheDevil]

7 Things You Should Never Tell People About Your Relationship

Some stuff just really need to stay private, OK?


t's totally natural for you to spill your guts to your girlfriends about what's going on in your relationship — hell, it's practically a right of passage at brunch or book club — but that doesn't mean you should share everything. There are a few things that relationship experts deem worthy of staying between you and your S.O. Find out what they are, and no matter how much you want to bond with your BFFs, keep your mouth shut.

1. When you're going through a sex slump. Let's set the scene: You and your guy haven't had sex in a few months. You're not sure why, so in a fit of frustration you tell your coupled-up friend. Her response? "Oh, don't worry, we haven't either. It's been four months."

While that may give you a huge sigh of relief, Irina Firstein, a couples therapist in New York City, says it's not very helpful. "This kind of comment normalizes a problem that needs to be addressed," she explains. "Your friend is trying to help, but she's probably not because she's untrained in sex therapy and can't usually give constructive feedback."


Plus, whether she admits it or not, Firstein says it's likely she's lying. "Your sex life is actually really private, and many people tend to not be completely honest about theirs in an effort to relate to the person they're having the conversation with," she explains. In the end, her comments can make you feel worse (or better) about your problems, which is ultimately not helpful. So, if you're having problems in the bedroom, first try bringing it up with your partner. If you can't get to the root of the issue together though, consider talking with a sex therapist who can not only help you figure out why there's a lack of intimacy but also give you ideas to spice things up in the bedroom.

2. When your in-laws piss you off. It seems like everyone bitches about their mother- or sister-in-law, but Firstein says you should try to bite your tongue if you can. You never know when word is going to get back around to your husband (or if he simply overheard you in the other room), and that can make him resentful, "as typically people are defensive of their family," she explains. And again, it's not helpful. Sure, it'll make you feel better in the moment to get a frustration off your chest, but ultimately the feedback you get from friends will be personal and likely drawn from their own experience. "That has nothing to do with you and your situation, so it's safer not to risk it," says Firstein. Instead, go get in a workout to blow off some steam, then come back and talk to your partner, so you can work out a solution after you've had some time to cool off and can speak (and think) more clearly.

3. When your partner reveals his sexual fantasy. In season three of Friends, a whole episode is devoted to Rachel telling Phoebe about Ross's Princess Leia fantasy — and Ross being pissed about her sharing that secret. His frustration is warranted, says sex therapist Vanessa Marin. "Most of us have fantasies that we're not entirely comfortable with; it's a big deal to let down your guard and share the most intimate parts of your sexuality with another person," she says. As his partner, Marin says you should honor that trust and keep the information private. It may be tempting to talk about if there's a big shock value to the confession, or if you don't know how to tell him you're not all that keen on making it a reality. But resist and keep that info to yourself. (After all, how would you feel if he talked about your fantasies with his buddies?) If you need to talk to someone, book a session with a sex therapist.

4. When one of you cheats. Whether it was an emotional or physical affair (yes, there's a difference and yes, they're both considered infidelity), any acts that had you or your partner straying outside your relationship need to be kept quiet, says Firstein. It's common to want to vent to someone else — say, your mom or your best friend — but Firstein says that can irreparably damage their opinion of your partner. And while that may be NBD if the two of you decide to separate, if you want to make a comeback, it'll be that much harder.

"Because others know about it, it will linger on and you'll have to deal with their feelings and judgment for however long they decide," says Firstein. Think about it: If your mom knows, then every time you have a small fight with your guy and need to vent, she'll always be able to bring it back to the affair, even if it has nothing to do with that. (Plus, just imagine the daggers of hatred shooting from her eyes at every family get-together from there on out. Awk-ward.) Instead, talk to an individual or couple's therapist about the affair whenever you need to — they create a safe space for you to get your emotions out without a side of judgment.

5. When one (or both) of you is going through something private. It sounds like a given, but Firstein says it's worth repeating: If your partner confides in you about a private family matter (his sibling has a serious health condition, for example) or a less-than-ideal situation he's in (like the loss of a job), keep your mouth shut. When he opens up to you like that, it's proof that he trusts you and your ability to handle the situation in a respectful manner, she says. Don't break that trust by opening up to someone else — even if it's simply because you're looking for advice on how to console him. Instead, "it's best to just listen and be there," says Firstein. "It's a touchy issue, but the best thing you can do is let him talk, and be caring and empathetic."

6. When he makes a money mistake. Making a mistake is embarrassing enough, but when it's about money it tends to be even more personal, as finances can be one of the biggest causes of divorce, says Firstein. So don't cut him down by talking about it in public. Whether he made a bad play in the stock market or exercised poor judgment in his spending habits that month, it's a personal transgression that's just that — personal. Talking about it to your friends makes him look bad, which inevitably changes their opinion of him, says Firstein. If you need advice on how to bounce back, try these money-budgeting tips and consider consulting a financial adviser to help you both get back on track.


7. When your partner has a smell, taste, penis size (whatever) that you didn't expect. When you first start seeing someone, it's common for both men and women to dish details to their friends about their partner's body, says Marin. After all, what woman hasn't had a rowdy conversation with her girlfriends detailing her latest hookup? But if the guy is someone you could potentially see yourself dating long-term, you may want to pause, she says. "Your friends are going to eventually meet him, and your partner would probably be horrified he ever found out you shared this really personal information," says Marin. Now, that's not to say you can't say anything — he'd probably be stoked if you were vague and simply bragged on his skills a bit — but if it's something that could potentially embarrass him or that he's already insecure about (like having a smaller penis, for example), keep it to yourself.

 

[Jaime_H]

Hi Sassy,

This thread is better than a magazine subscription.
Can't wait to see what I'm going to learn next.

Don't forget points 7 in relationships. Keep my dick size to yourself....

 

[Farawyn]

Sass, your new AV is gorgeous!

 

[SassySheDevil]

Hi Sassy,

This thread is better than a magazine subscription.
Can't wait to see what I'm going to learn next.

Don't forget points 7 in relationships. Keep my dick size to yourself....

haha it is from my magazine subscription.. We women kinda like talking about dicks though darn it!!

Sass, your new AV is gorgeous!

lol you picked it out. It should be

 

[SassySheDevil]

I was in some weird oral mood yesterday. I couldn't stop looking at Oral gifs that were posted elsewhere here on the board, so this seems fitting today.



16 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Ever Gave a Blow Job

Penises and mouths are not usually the same size, FYI.

Staring down at a hard penis, knowing that in the next few seconds that thing will be in your mouth, can be intimidating. Like, every single time, not just the first time you give a blow job. But don't worry, it gets better, and like all things in life, experience is so valuable when it comes to Ds in mouths. Also, if it doesn't get better, just don't give blow jobs. Men will live.

To help ease your pre-BJ woes, here are 16 things grown women wish they'd known before giving their first blow jobs.

1. A penis doesn't have eyeballs and can't tell the difference between the back of a throat and the roof of a mouth. All those slimy surfaces on the inside of your mouth basically just all feel the same. Except your teeth, obviously. I don't have a penis so I don't personally get the appeal of "deep-throating," but (gently) ramming the tip of his dick into the roof of your mouth feels like the same thing and it doesn't make you gag.


2. A penis isn't a vagina or a Slip'N Slide and doesn't just get wet on its own. I mean there's pre-cum, but that's like a light rain shower when a proper BJ usually requires a torrential downpour. Either get some lube that doesn't taste like a takeout bag, or drink some water and be prepared to use all the spit you can muster. It's not gross. This is someone you make out with (probably).

3. You do not have to bow down before his erect penis like it's a rising sun god. In movies and TV shows and whatever else, the only BJ position ever depicted is a woman on her knees, bobbing her head back and forth while a man stands up like a statuesque Greek god. This is so rare IRL! You don't have to invest in knee pads, like Stephanie from seventh grade said you would! Stephanie lied to you. Just get on the bed and do it lying down. It's COMFIER.

4. You don't have to swallow and then giggle and say, "OMG, it's so fun to swallow your hot steamy cum, I really love it a lot!" Also, you just don't have to swallow at all. The man whose dick you're sucking is not going to scream and holler at you if you demurely dispose of his cum into a napkin or cup or something. He might get a little upset if you spit it directly onto his face, but that's really just between the two of you.

5. Your hands can pinch hit when your mouth needs some time on the bench. The average penis is 5.17 inches (when hard). I haven't measured the inside of my mouth, but I am pretty damn sure there aren't 5.17 inches of space between my lips and the back of my throat. And no way do I recommend going for broke and shoving a penis down your esophagus. Let your hands help. Put the tip in your mouth and your hands around the base, and voilà. This is within the acceptable rules of play.

6. You're not going to accidentally bite down on his penis with your teeth and sever it and leave him sterile for the rest of his life. There are an inordinate number of horror stories about women who accidentally use their teeth during a BJ and, like, skin the guy's dick with their razor molars or something. Teeth should not be the big concern. I feel like they kind of just disappear when this whole act starts, IDK.

7. Sometimes a penis doesn't smell good and that's because some men are disgusting. This is a 100 percent deal breaker, I can't, no, can't. I don't think anyone expects a hard penis to smell like Chanel perfume or strawberry Lipsmackers or whatever (although OMG, they should) but some guys are less clean than others. Also. People sweat more in the summertime. Consider this. The crotch area is not free of sweat glands. Personally, I don't think it's rude to kindly suggest a sexy shower together beforehand.

8. Penises that look small and non-menacing sometimes feel like novelty-sized pool noodles when they are inside of your mouth. Oh, it looked like a pinky finger from afar, but now that it's in your mouth, it's like one of those little toys that grows when you put it in water. What's happening in there? Who knows. Maybe we're all overestimating the size of our mouth holes.

9. You can use your tongue to trick him into thinking he's all the way in your mouth. Like ~magic~ if magic were perverted and used only to trick men into thinking you give the best blow jobs in the world. You don't have to just tuck your tongue away and hide it while this event is taking place. You can use it (like the roof of your mouth thing) to trick him into thinking he's basically pumping away into your stomach. Just either tuck his penis underneath your tongue, or use your tongue to block the back of your throat (this also protects your delicate gag reflexes just in case).

10. A blow job isn't like a magic button that makes him come right now immediately. Although men do seem to love them, it's not something that begins and ends in a matter of seconds (usually). These things can be a lot of work, especially if you're down there for, like, 10 minutes. You can quit literally whenever you want though — never feel like you're dropping out of a race early.

11. A BJ can be foreplay for men and doesn't have to be the Big Main Event of the evening. Yeah, not all BJs have to end in a spout of geyser-esque ejaculate shooting forth into the air. You can just do this for, like, a little bit until he gets all riled up, and then move on to other sex things.

12. This is one thing that porn can actually teach you a lot about, like the graphic sex ed you never had in school. Sex ed should definitely be better in this country but I really doubt we'll ever have gym coaches teaching good blow job decorum in front of a bunch of confused teenagers. And that's probably for the best? Anyway. People don't fuck IRL like they do in porn, but sometimes those close-up shots of someone ferociously sucking a D can serve as good little tutorials on how to move your head. Just don't attempt deep-throating if you're not very experienced.


13. Literally no one can deep-throat without gagging. I vaguely remember some girl in, like, ninth grade telling me that all grown women literally swallow lidocaine or the stuff in those Orajel swabs before giving a blow job so they don't gag on a dick. Don't do this! Don't drink lidocaine! No! The solution here is to just not deep-throat a penis. Gag reflexes exist for a reason. And you definitely don't want to throw up on someone you ostensibly like.

14. You do not have to give a BJ just to get a BJ of your own. If a guy refuses to go down on you because you don't like giving BJs, or he has a disgusting smelly penis that you don't want in your mouth, or just for literally any other reason, he sucks (except lol he doesn't suck hahaha get it?).

15. 69ing is terrible and overrated and bad, and let's just ban it already. OK, maybe you like it but IMO, it is terrible and dumb. The whole point of oral sex is that you can just lie there and do nothing while someone else gives you extreme pleasure. 69ing is like if, while getting a professional massage, you had to also file your taxes at the same time. Doesn't that sound like a nightmare to you? Because it is. It would be a nightmare.

16. It doesn't make you a slut to enjoy giving BJs and it doesn't make you a prude to hate giving BJs. This one sex act is way overblown (LOL, sorry, I'm sorry) but really it's just one thing on an endless menu of sex things you can do to a person. No one decent will cut things off with you if you don't like giving BJs, and I swear if anyone ever slut-shames you for liking BJs, direct them to me immediately because there's a conversation we need to have. You like what you like and hate what you hate, and it's all fine and good.

 

[SassySheDevil]

Guy Question for the day.. When it comes to your women.

If your woman could only wear yoga pants or short skirts for the rest of my life, what would you choose for her?

Women Question for the day..
Is it okay to wake you up in the middle of the night for a sex session?

 

[Jaime_H]

Guy Question for the day.. When it comes to your women.

If your woman could only wear yoga pants or short skirts for the rest of my life, what would you choose for her?

For her sake, yoga pants..... It gets nippy over here.

I assume I'm allowed to remove them?

 

[SassySheDevil]

For her sake, yoga pants..... It gets nippy over here.

I assume I'm allowed to remove them?

haha yes.

 

[Jaime_H]

haha yes.

Them I made the right call.....

 

[Eva_Star]

Women Question for the day..
Is it okay to wake you up in the middle of the night for a sex session?

Yes. I love middle of the night sex...though I would hope he would be mindful of the days I have to be at work at 4 am and not wake me up at 2 am for sex...but if I wake up at 2 am before work and want sex, he better be ready (so far, he has never turned me down). lol

 

[SassySheDevil]

Yes. I love middle of the night sex...though I would hope he would be mindful of the days I have to be at work at 4 am and not wake me up at 2 am for sex...but if I wake up at 2 am before work and want sex, he better be ready (so far, he has never turned me down). lol

This is kind of me too. I love being woke up to it, but I also have really bad insomnia, so when I was getting up at 4:30 and he came to bed at midnight and woke me up. Those were a lot of tired days at work

 

[EroticRomanticMan]

I love yoga pants so I will choose them every time!!

 

[AKentuckyLady]

I was in some weird oral mood yesterday. I couldn't stop looking at Oral gifs that were posted elsewhere here on the board, so this seems fitting today.


15. 69ing is terrible and overrated and bad, and let's just ban it already. OK, maybe you like it but IMO, it is terrible and dumb. The whole point of oral sex is that you can just lie there and do nothing while someone else gives you extreme pleasure. 69ing is like if, while getting a professional massage, you had to also file your taxes at the same time. Doesn't that sound like a nightmare to you? Because it is. It would be a nightmare.

I have been saying #15 for YEARS. 69 is probably the worst thing ever. E V E R.