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Cosmo funny and questions

What a great thread idea!

I loved all your stories...so funny. :) Unfortunately I can't get a NARB so no stories there and I've never had a funny worst date. *shrugs* However, you can bet I'm gonna keep reading this thread.
 
The worst date I was ever on was a double date me/bf and bf's sister/her new bf.

BF's sister was absolutely gorgeous but had terrible taste in men. Right off, I hated her date because the second he sat down at the table in the restaurant, he loudly says "It's uncomfortable to always have all eyes on you when you walk into a room". Then flexed his muscles for a solid minute. Instant hate for this dbag.

This guy bragged and bragged and bragged for 30 minutes straight ("you should see my car! It's a total panty-dropper" and "I've never had a girl tell me no,even if she's taken...." *then proceeds to very obviously wink at me, which made my bf slam his fist on the table*)...then he got completely shitfaced drunk.

Here is where it gets bad (because, you know, things were going great up until now)...he starts talking about his dick. Like 15 minute monologues about every detail of his cock...but he wasn't saying it was "THE BIGGEST COCK EVER" as one would expect from a guy with this level of dbaggery. No. He was talking about how tiny it was. Over and over, "my dick is so small I couldn't get a gnat off".

Even more disturbing, my bf's sister is sitting there looking at him like "Isn't he amazing?!" Finally bf was done and said "let's go." Bf ended up having to carry this dude out to his sister's car. Then the guy proceeds to drop his pants and says "See? It's really small, isn't it?"

Yes. Yes it was. 2 days later bf's sister texts us to see if we want to go out with them again because they had so much fun with us! (???) I just texted back "ya'll need therapy."
 
SassySheDevil said:
I admit I subscribe to Cosmo and I love their funny jokes, advice, and sex articles. I decided it might be fun to bring some of those here and share with you. The questions will keep this going (If it goes) but I also want to share the humor.

So first. A guy question because I freaking loved this term!!! NARB. I'm totally going to use that. :D

No Apparent Reason Boner...= NARB

So guys... Where is the weirdest place you have gotten a NARB??





Throw in a funny "Did you know".... 40% of guys penile arousal increases when he smells Lavender and Pumpkin pie. :D
Click to expand...
The easy answer is: "where haven't I gotten a boner?". But, I guess the most embarrassing place would have been church, when I was in my early teens. I was a Catholic at the time, so having a meat puppet in my pants made it very inconvenient to kneel, stand, walk to communion, Etc. So I didn't I just sat. I got in a lot of trouble when I got home, but there was no way that I would reveal the reason for my sudden lack of religious protocol.
 
I don't like pumpkin pie but have a lavender plant out back.

Can I settle for 20%?
 
Cosmo dating survey
Surveyed 929 single women and men from around the country. Ages 18-35


*35% of women are pro sex the first date

*68% of men that are using dating apps log in at least once a day.

*Top 3 ideal dates for both men and women.
-Dinner
-Bar
-Coffee

*73% of men have sex by the 5th date

*44% of women get stressed out about dating apps.

*67% of women get responses from messages they end... So make the first move Ladies.

*32% of men have just one dating goal. Whether it's a just a hook up, or a relationship. Most just want to see where things go.

*51% of men are pro first date sex

*60% of women have sex by the 5th date.

*69% of men are using online dating apps
When they are not in a relationship, 25% of women don't have sex.

and lastly..

*25% of men have sex once a week or more...
 
If 35% of the women are having sex on the first date, and 51% of the men are... who are the men having sex with? Lol
 
Jaime_H said:
I could interpret that so many ways.....
Click to expand...

smarty pants lol...
attachment.php
 
Last edited:
barefootgirl69 said:
If 35% of the women are having sex on the first date, and 51% of the men are... who are the men having sex with? Lol
Click to expand...

As a math person, I must point out...

51-35=16
16÷2=8

So it's possible the rest are in the gay population and they're having sex with each other.
 
Last edited:
beachbaby179 said:
As a math person, I must point out...

51-35=16
16÷2=8

So it's possible the rest are in the gay population and they're having sex with each other.
Click to expand...

I'm so glad we did maths at school and not math....

Mind you, "s" or not, I still couldn't do it.....:D
 
SassySheDevil said:
Cosmo dating survey
Surveyed 929 single women and men from around the country. Ages 18-35


*35% of women are pro sex the first date
*51% of men are pro first date sex

This is because men will fuck women they aren't attracted to. Most women are a little more picky. If a guy spends money on a date, he wants value for that.

*73% of men have sex by the 5th date
*60% of women have sex by the 5th date.

But nothing says that the men are having sex with the woman they had the 5th date with. They may have dropped her off at home and went to his FWB's place on the 5th date ;)


When they are not in a relationship, 25% of women don't have sex
*25% of men have sex once a week or more...
Click to expand...

I call bullshit on the last statistic. Based on the men here at lit, they have less sex than we women do. :rolleyes:
 
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