cheated

[Guest]

I have searched through lots of threads on this topic. Some good information. I have been married about 5 years. was pretty sexually active up until then, now for 5 years i have been with the same woman, whom i love very much, and a daughter whom i love to death. I recently had sex with a woman at my school, she knows i am married, we started off innocently, our chats got a bit naughty and we pretty much decided to go have sex. it may be a one night thing, she doesnt want an relationship, which i already told her was how it had to be anyways. she just wants sex. I am unable to have kids so this is not a problem. I read about lots of people having guilt and such. I feel nothing. was just sex. Have no idea why i did it. i love my wife and am extremely attracted to her, we have lots of great sex. maybe i did it to prove to myself that i still have it. what the fuck is wrong with me?


i used to post here but havent posted in a while, and am posting anonomously for discreet reasons...

 

[Weevil]

I have searched through lots of threads on this topic. Some good information. I have been married about 5 years. was pretty sexually active up until then, now for 5 years i have been with the same woman, whom i love very much, and a daughter whom i love to death. I recently had sex with a woman at my school, she knows i am married, we started off innocently, our chats got a bit naughty and we pretty much decided to go have sex. it may be a one night thing, she doesnt want an relationship, which i already told her was how it had to be anyways. she just wants sex. I am unable to have kids so this is not a problem. I read about lots of people having guilt and such. I feel nothing. was just sex. Have no idea why i did it. i love my wife and am extremely attracted to her, we have lots of great sex. maybe i did it to prove to myself that i still have it. what the fuck is wrong with me?


i used to post here but havent posted in a while, and am posting anonomously for discreet reasons...

Yes, no. Who the fuck cares. You know Adultery is frowned upon, you did it anyway. Now you care what we think?

Jeez, what's wrong with you is that you think any body here's opinion will influence your behaviour. You had all the reasons to be monogamous and you decided not to be. You don't like monogamy, welcome to being a man.

 

[MechaBlade]

I have a feeling you will feel guilt eventually. You should, you bastard, you cheated on your wife.

You did it because you want to feel like you still have it and/or she was hot and it is the instinct of all men to fuck as many hot women as they can before dying. Except gay men, who want to fuck as many hot guys as they can before dying.

 

[sufisaint]

Your a human being with sexual feelings... Forgive yourself..love your family...get rid of the bullshit guilt and move on.....all that matters is the love in your heart... also don't hurt nyone else..which basically means try and keep in your pants or discuss having an open marraige if thats what you really want..

 

[Guest]

dont really care what we think, was just wondering if anyone has experienced the feeling of nothingness, i dont feel guilty, i dont feel good about it, i dont feel anything, just seemed odd, after reading about the feelings that most adulterers had... oh well.
i guess it satisfied my desire to know what it feels like to have another woman again...

 

[MechaBlade]

good for you.

now send her over.

 

[StarXChyld]

dont really care what we think, was just wondering if anyone has experienced the feeling of nothingness, i dont feel guilty, i dont feel good about it, i dont feel anything, just seemed odd, after reading about the feelings that most adulterers had... oh well.
i guess it satisfied my desire to know what it feels like to have another woman again...

Your wife is one lucky lady. . .

 

[hogjack]

Next!

After MechaBlade is done wooing her, I have an opening on my calendar.

Thanks.

 

[Guest]

thanks for the input, i knew i could post a question on here and people would give me honest answers and their oppinions.

 

[WaxNWane]

I am unable to have kids so this is not a problem.

Please tell me this doesn't mean the sex is unprotected.

Inconsiderate enough to cheat is sad enough. Stupid enough to have unsafe sex makes me shudder.

 

[Guest]

definately protected, just no chance of accident kids... condoms are only so safe...

 

[MechaBlade]

thanks for the input, i knew i could post a question on here and people would give me honest answers and their oppinions.

That's what I'm here for, dude.

 

[Guest]

 

[sunstruck]

YOU don't feel anything. What about your wife?

I personally think you're full of shit. I find it hard to believe anyone could cheat on someone they profess to love so very much and feel nothing. If that's truely the case, you aren't in love with your wife. You can't betray someone you love and feel nothing.

 

[Guest]

yes, i do understand the concepts, thanks. i think this is what i needed. a big wake up kick... my family is where is should be...

 

[MechaBlade]

YOU don't feel anything. What about your wife?

I personally think you're full of shit. I find it hard to believe anyone could cheat on someone they profess to love so very much and feel nothing. If that's truely the case, you aren't in love with your wife. You can't betray someone you love and feel nothing.

Maybe he doesn't feel as if sex was a big "betrayal". Just a physical act. If it wasn't for jealousy and fear of losing her, I would let my wife fuck other guys if she told me beforehand.

 

[Starfish]

Weevil, I am your greatest fan. That is worthy of a thread.

 

[sunstruck]

Maybe he doesn't feel as if sex was a big "betrayal". Just a physical act. If it wasn't for jealousy and fear of losing her, I would let my wife fuck other guys if she told me beforehand.

Whatever man. He didn't tell her.

 

[Guest]

hmmmm, I can somewhat understand. I always thought I would be true and faithful to the end. ( I am a woman) However a situation came up and something happened and I cheated, in a bill clinton way.....I felt terrible guilt, confessed to my husband, he was not upset.........well found out later, he had an affair himself......I was angry that he lied to me, I had given him the opportunity to confess when I admitted I cheated, he chose to act as if he never did anything......when in reality had had cheated twice with the same woman before I even had my little fling......
The odd thing is, I was more uspet about the lie then the fact that he screwed another woman....and I have forgiven him, however trust is another issue........oh, and no more quilt.....

 

[oceanbaby28]

YOU don't feel anything. What about your wife?

I personally think you're full of shit. I find it hard to believe anyone could cheat on someone they profess to love so very much and feel nothing. If that's truely the case, you aren't in love with your wife. You can't betray someone you love and feel nothing.

What she said....

I'd love to see if you felt nothing if you found out your wife cheated on you. Just a thought ya know...

 

[Starfish]

Maybe he doesn't feel as if sex was a big "betrayal". Just a physical act. If it wasn't for jealousy and fear of losing her, I would let my wife fuck other guys if she told me beforehand.

Why be jealous? If it is just a physical act then, What? That doesn't make any sense?

See, this is what is fucked up here...

You are saying that he can justify this as just a physical act, and that it isn't something to be hurt about, even though she would feel totally betrayed by his hiding it, and breaking the commitment that was supposed to be understood unless otherwise discussed.

SO? It is okay for a man to decide that it is just a physical act, but you feel then it would be OKAY? like she needs your permission, to get fucked, if YOU weren't jealous or worried about loosing her? That is the biggest double standard on the planet.


Look, It isn't for him alone to decide what value sex has in their marriage. Where the fuck does that come into play?

His wife's opinion matters more than his own on that, since he made the fucking comitment with her in a marriage union. That is WHY YOU GET MARRIED, or else you have an UNDERSTANDING of what is acceptable otherwise.


This is a ridiculous topic to be aruging. He betrayed his wife. She would probably hate him for being a decietful, inconsiderate, cheating bastard if she knew about this. It is ridiculous to try and justify this shit with these pathetic excuses.

GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK!


See, I would be happy if my man came home and told me that he had sex with another person (protected of course) if that was something we were OPEN about.

Unregistered, YOU are hiding it still? Then there is something wrong.

Look, You don't feel anything because you are in DENIAL, not because you don't have anything to feel bad about.


Wake up. You may have just ruined your life as you know it.
What a fool you are. Why did you bother to commit to your wife if you didn't care to honor the commitment?


She would be devistated to know this and you know it.

 

[Narcosis]

I feel nothing. was just sex.

sex without emotion? gee sounds exciting, i can see why youre risking your marriage to keep doing it more and more. I hate to be a downer, but even deception is a lie. If you really felt it wasnt so bad you wouldnt have any problem telling your wife about it.

 

[Starfish]

hmmmm, I can somewhat understand. I always thought I would be true and faithful to the end. ( I am a woman) However a situation came up and something happened and I cheated, in a bill clinton way.....I felt terrible guilt, confessed to my husband, he was not upset.........well found out later, he had an affair himself......I was angry that he lied to me, I had given him the opportunity to confess when I admitted I cheated, he chose to act as if he never did anything......when in reality had had cheated twice with the same woman before I even had my little fling......
The odd thing is, I was more uspet about the lie then the fact that he screwed another woman....and I have forgiven him, however trust is another issue........oh, and no more quilt.....

This is a lot different sweetie. Maybe somewhere in your heart you knew all along that something wasn't right, so that you did what you did as an unconcious result of it.

Seriously, we pick up on a lot more than we know and it shapes us.

Seem what you discribe is like what this unregistered persons dear wife may be dealing with in the near future.


Sorry about your situation, btw.

 

[MechaBlade]

Why be jealous? If it is just a physical act then, What? That doesn't make any sense?

See, this is what is fucked up here...

You are saying that he can justify this as just a physical act, and that it isn't something to be hurt about, even though she would feel totally betrayed by his hiding it, and breaking the commitment that was supposed to be understood unless otherwise discussed.

SO? It is okay for a man to decide that it is just a physical act, but you feel then it would be OKAY? like she needs your permission, to get fucked, if YOU weren't jealous or worried about loosing her? That is the biggest double standard on the planet.

Look, It isn't for him alone to decide what value sex has in their marriage. Where the fuck does that come into play?

His wife's opinion matters more than his own on that, since he made the fucking comitment with her in a marriage union. That is WHY YOU GET MARRIED, or else you have an UNDERSTANDING of what is acceptable otherwise.


This is a ridiculous topic to be aruging. He betrayed his wife. She would probably hate him for being a decietful, inconsiderate, cheating bastard if she knew about this. It is ridiculous to try and justify this shit with these pathetic excuses.

GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK!


See, I would be happy if my man came home and told me that he had sex with another person (protected of course) if that was something we were OPEN about.

I would be jealous because this means that there are two attractive people in the world who find her fuckable. I'll be lucky to find one eventually. Assuming I do, I would be jealous if she was having sex with strange and interesting people and I was just having her. It's only natural.

He can't justify this at all. It's cheating. But I was trying to explain to sunstruck how he could cheat and still love his wife by explaining what I think is going through the Unreg's head. I agree that the value of sex in the relationship is set by both of them, not one or the other.

Yes, if she told me who she wanted to fuck, and I realized that she would never leave me for this guy, and I wasn't feeling particularly jealous at the moment, then I would let her fuck this strange man. I'm just that kind of a guy.

I'm not justifying his cheating. I think he's a bastard. Read my first post.

I doubt you would be "happy" if your husband came home and told you he cheated. At least not as happy as you would be if he didn't cheat.

I, MechaBlade (because I can't put my real name here), would NEVER, EVER, EVER cheat on my wife. Ever. Unless she gave me permission beforehand (or we discussed the rules of cheating earlier, which is like permission). I take the marriage committment seriously. Which is why I will hesitate to get married.

I have no double standards. Thank you for playing.

 

[Starfish]

I clearly didn't read your first post, Mecha. I saw what sunstruck said to you, re read your post there and thought you were trying to justify him. I am sorry for not understanding where you stand on this matter yourself, and where you were trying to understand where he is coming from.



Oh, and when I was talking about my being happy for my husband if we were in an open marriage, was defined by the if.

We do not have an open marriage yet. I cannot trust him and I don't know if I ever can. He has lied to me in the past. I have been fully faithful to him, and he claims he has too, regardless of how he made it look for over a year.

Well, I am appearanty projecting my anger about my own situation here.

Sorry.