BDSM: Questions and Answers
- Thread starter cymbidia
- Start date
cellis
Saucy
- Joined
- Oct 2, 2001
- Posts
- 4,186
Hecate... thank you for your kind words... your support touches me more than I can say....
carrie-on.... thank goodness!!... I was really beginning to think there was something wrong with me... and I don't that it was because of not being cared for afterwards... Himself is very good about making certain that I am okay and spending lots of time with me afterward.... and I did feel good... great, in fact afterwards, which is really normal for me.... there is a rush that I get afterwards and I am almost giddy.... but never have I experienced the crash until this weekend....
carrie-on.... thank goodness!!... I was really beginning to think there was something wrong with me... and I don't that it was because of not being cared for afterwards... Himself is very good about making certain that I am okay and spending lots of time with me afterward.... and I did feel good... great, in fact afterwards, which is really normal for me.... there is a rush that I get afterwards and I am almost giddy.... but never have I experienced the crash until this weekend....
MissTaken
Biker Chick
- Joined
- Jun 30, 2001
- Posts
- 20,570
I was just lurking about and thought I would drop in and say hello.
Cym: I do love your new AV and am glad to feel that your spirits are a bit better. I have been concerned with a couple of your posts and have been thinking of you.
Hecate: Welcome back! As usual, I find your posts very informative and helpful. You were missed.
Cellis: I love your av. It is beautiful and hope all is improving with you. I would also like to say thank you for sharing your experience with "sub-drop" on the boards. As some of us, namely me!, were not aware of it and at least now, I may recognize it if it ever happens. Thank you.
Wolf wind: Your post was very informative and certainly provided me with affirmation as I enter into a new relationship and my first D/s relationship. Thank you.
Spectre T: Well put! As I have mentioned before, I love reading your posts and like your style. Perhaps someday you could advise me concerning the real life social activities concerning the lifestyle in your area. There are none in mine. (About three hours north of you.) Thank you.
And a hearty hello to all! I haven't been posting lately, or not often, but am still here and still very much a lit addict.
Cym: I do love your new AV and am glad to feel that your spirits are a bit better. I have been concerned with a couple of your posts and have been thinking of you.
Hecate: Welcome back! As usual, I find your posts very informative and helpful. You were missed.
Cellis: I love your av. It is beautiful and hope all is improving with you. I would also like to say thank you for sharing your experience with "sub-drop" on the boards. As some of us, namely me!, were not aware of it and at least now, I may recognize it if it ever happens. Thank you.
Wolf wind: Your post was very informative and certainly provided me with affirmation as I enter into a new relationship and my first D/s relationship. Thank you.
Spectre T: Well put! As I have mentioned before, I love reading your posts and like your style. Perhaps someday you could advise me concerning the real life social activities concerning the lifestyle in your area. There are none in mine. (About three hours north of you.) Thank you.
And a hearty hello to all! I haven't been posting lately, or not often, but am still here and still very much a lit addict.
RisiaSkye
Artistic
- Joined
- May 1, 2000
- Posts
- 4,387
cym--wonderful news! I'm thrilled (and relieved) for you all that it went so well. I told you she's strong! You sound much better. I'll try to call in the next couple of days.
Hecate--glad to hear you had such a fantastic trip. Next time, see Florida in beach season, okay?
cellis & carrie-on--you aren't alone. In my first long-term BDSM relationship (in which I was sub), I went through some of those highs and lows. For me, at least, a good deal of it was because it was new, and I was still learning to know and accept myself without the kinds of judgement I expected would (and sometimes did) come from others.
A few days after my first real "immersion" into sub-space, I was ovewhelmed by a feeling of hopelessness, loss, and inexpressible despair. I have rarely felt as suicidally depressed as I did in those hours, and I've never entirely figured out why. It's a risky thing, opening yourself so fully to another person, no matter how much you love and trust them. So, be careful of yourself. And, above all--be honest with your Dom/me. Even if they're far away, keep the lines of communication open. You need each other right now, as much or more than at any other time.
There's nothing I've found that makes that bottom-falling-out-of-the-world feeling any easier except time, faith in yourself, and the mutual devotion of a strong and trusting bond with your O/other. But, at the least, know that you aren't alone. You are among friends, who have no desire to judge you, and who will (if we can) support you through this, until you can make peace with your new (for cellis) path.
For what it's worth, know that your feelings are shared by others, and that there's nothing "wrong" with you that's causing this reaction. It's an enormously emotional and spiritual journey, this way of living and loving--and some of the waystations are dark. The light returns in the end.
RS
Hecate--glad to hear you had such a fantastic trip. Next time, see Florida in beach season, okay?
cellis & carrie-on--you aren't alone. In my first long-term BDSM relationship (in which I was sub), I went through some of those highs and lows. For me, at least, a good deal of it was because it was new, and I was still learning to know and accept myself without the kinds of judgement I expected would (and sometimes did) come from others.
A few days after my first real "immersion" into sub-space, I was ovewhelmed by a feeling of hopelessness, loss, and inexpressible despair. I have rarely felt as suicidally depressed as I did in those hours, and I've never entirely figured out why. It's a risky thing, opening yourself so fully to another person, no matter how much you love and trust them. So, be careful of yourself. And, above all--be honest with your Dom/me. Even if they're far away, keep the lines of communication open. You need each other right now, as much or more than at any other time.
There's nothing I've found that makes that bottom-falling-out-of-the-world feeling any easier except time, faith in yourself, and the mutual devotion of a strong and trusting bond with your O/other. But, at the least, know that you aren't alone. You are among friends, who have no desire to judge you, and who will (if we can) support you through this, until you can make peace with your new (for cellis) path.
For what it's worth, know that your feelings are shared by others, and that there's nothing "wrong" with you that's causing this reaction. It's an enormously emotional and spiritual journey, this way of living and loving--and some of the waystations are dark. The light returns in the end.
RS
cellis
Saucy
- Joined
- Oct 2, 2001
- Posts
- 4,186
MissTaken and RisiaSkye... thank you both very much for your encouragement and kind words....
Believe, we do talk about everything... about everything...
About the AV.... I picked out several I really liked and then sent them to Himself and asked him to pick out his favorite... knowing he has a thing for backs and ropes... well needless to say, he picked out my favorite... how nice that we have so much in common...
again... thanks to all of you for your kindness...
Believe, we do talk about everything... about everything...
About the AV.... I picked out several I really liked and then sent them to Himself and asked him to pick out his favorite... knowing he has a thing for backs and ropes... well needless to say, he picked out my favorite... how nice that we have so much in common...
again... thanks to all of you for your kindness...
cymbidia
unrepentant pervert
- Joined
- Mar 8, 2001
- Posts
- 8,786
D/s Drop. Hmmm. Never knew it had a name and was a recognized phenomena until now. Gods this thread is sometimes useful!
I'm so sorry you're feeling so low after having been so high, cellis, and can only hope that the intervening days have proved a positive balm for the drop you were feeling when you posted about this.
I can't really say that i remember ever dropping so low. (Of course, i had a head injury when i was 16 and everything fades from my memory after about 7 years or so unless it's constantly reinforced so my not remembering a bad drop like yours doesn't mean much, quite frankly.) Perhaps we all, at times at least, feel some relatively mild letdown after spending really intense time with our partner but i think that is normal chemical and emotional shifts we're feeling and not at all what you've described.
I really hope you're doing better now, cellis.
Please let us know.
Risia and carrie-on? Kudos to you guys for coming out of it stronger and more integrated people for having mastered the experience of dropping so low.
Risia? I'll call you or, barring my now-public propensity to not do that when i should (!!!), i ought to buy you a phone card or something so you can call me, over and over.
I'm so sorry you're feeling so low after having been so high, cellis, and can only hope that the intervening days have proved a positive balm for the drop you were feeling when you posted about this.
I can't really say that i remember ever dropping so low. (Of course, i had a head injury when i was 16 and everything fades from my memory after about 7 years or so unless it's constantly reinforced so my not remembering a bad drop like yours doesn't mean much, quite frankly.) Perhaps we all, at times at least, feel some relatively mild letdown after spending really intense time with our partner but i think that is normal chemical and emotional shifts we're feeling and not at all what you've described.
I really hope you're doing better now, cellis.
Please let us know.
Risia and carrie-on? Kudos to you guys for coming out of it stronger and more integrated people for having mastered the experience of dropping so low.
Risia? I'll call you or, barring my now-public propensity to not do that when i should (!!!), i ought to buy you a phone card or something so you can call me, over and over.
SpectreT
Knight in Tarnished Armor
- Joined
- Mar 1, 2001
- Posts
- 1,905
Sub-Drop
whoa.
I'm sorry to read about that. And thanks; I'll be forewarned and armed against it if it should ever hit me. Don't know if I'd know it from one of my depressive moments, though.....
And Miss Taken, I'll let you know about any "lifestyle activities" in my neck of the woods (not that there are too many woods in CNY anymore, more's the pity...) as soon as I find out for sure that there's even a "culture" in this town. Practicioners, sure, but I can't seem to find any evidence of even so much as informal networking going on around here.
I'm a pretty happy guy right now, though, I just bought a Jeep Wrangler, and I'm loving that vehicle.
TTFN,
Tom.
whoa.
I'm sorry to read about that. And thanks; I'll be forewarned and armed against it if it should ever hit me. Don't know if I'd know it from one of my depressive moments, though.....
And Miss Taken, I'll let you know about any "lifestyle activities" in my neck of the woods (not that there are too many woods in CNY anymore, more's the pity...) as soon as I find out for sure that there's even a "culture" in this town. Practicioners, sure, but I can't seem to find any evidence of even so much as informal networking going on around here.
I'm a pretty happy guy right now, though, I just bought a Jeep Wrangler, and I'm loving that vehicle.
TTFN,
Tom.
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Merelan
Lady's Love
- Joined
- Mar 29, 2000
- Posts
- 10,812
Spectre, there is some around here. Want me to find out where and how and send you the info? Alas, I cannot attend but a dear friend does and he would be happy to share the info.
A Jeep? Your realize now everytime I see one I am going to wonder if it is you. Did you make the train show this last week or so?
I have been interested in bondage lately. The intricate workings of it. But as I am solo in my interest at the moment, as my sweet love is in Germany, it is only looking. Anyone know of a site that shows self bondage information? I am afraid to try some things as I would feel the fool having to call for help.
A Jeep? Your realize now everytime I see one I am going to wonder if it is you. Did you make the train show this last week or so?
I have been interested in bondage lately. The intricate workings of it. But as I am solo in my interest at the moment, as my sweet love is in Germany, it is only looking. Anyone know of a site that shows self bondage information? I am afraid to try some things as I would feel the fool having to call for help.
cellis
Saucy
- Joined
- Oct 2, 2001
- Posts
- 4,186
Merelan...
For self-bondage there is a lot of information at
http://www.bdsm-online.com/
They have other stuff there too...
For self-bondage there is a lot of information at
http://www.bdsm-online.com/
They have other stuff there too...
Bondage (self or otherwise)
While my wife and I were away for my sister's wedding we had a chance to stop in some very nice stores in the D.C./Georetown area. We picked up a book that I would highly reccomend for both begginers and experts in the B/D crowd, (yes I count myself amongst those). The book is 'Jay Weisman's Erotic Bondage Book'.
It's just full of useful nformation, from types of rope to knots to body harnesses, just to mention a few of the topics covered. But again I recommend it heartily, because it's certainly added to our play.
While my wife and I were away for my sister's wedding we had a chance to stop in some very nice stores in the D.C./Georetown area. We picked up a book that I would highly reccomend for both begginers and experts in the B/D crowd, (yes I count myself amongst those). The book is 'Jay Weisman's Erotic Bondage Book'.
It's just full of useful nformation, from types of rope to knots to body harnesses, just to mention a few of the topics covered. But again I recommend it heartily, because it's certainly added to our play.
LemonDroppe
Experienced
- Joined
- Nov 9, 2001
- Posts
- 54
Per Cym's suggestion, I'm introducing myself to all the other BDSM fans here.
I'm a newbie, but have been reading the threads for months. My experience with BDSM is only in fantasy, as my husband is about as straight-laced as a tennis shoe. I hope to live vicariously through you all!
How did you know that this is what turned you on?
For me, I have had fantasies of submission since I was a child. I remember vividly being 11 or 12 and dreaming of a couple neighbor teens who had shackled my hands above my head and took turns kissing me. The fantasies have developed quite a bit more since then!
I look forward to getting to know all of you.
I'm a newbie, but have been reading the threads for months. My experience with BDSM is only in fantasy, as my husband is about as straight-laced as a tennis shoe. I hope to live vicariously through you all!
How did you know that this is what turned you on?
For me, I have had fantasies of submission since I was a child. I remember vividly being 11 or 12 and dreaming of a couple neighbor teens who had shackled my hands above my head and took turns kissing me. The fantasies have developed quite a bit more since then!
I look forward to getting to know all of you.
cymbidia
unrepentant pervert
- Joined
- Mar 8, 2001
- Posts
- 8,786
Survey: (DSS) Dominance, submission and service
Jack McGeorge, president/co-founder of Washington, DC's Black Rose group and former chairman of the board of the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF), has been working on a study
of dominance, submission and service (DSS) for the last 16 months.
Phase One of the survey was a questionnaire distributed at his lectures.
Phase two is an online survey in which you're being invited to participate. Reliable information describing our attitudes and practices regarding dominance, submission, slavery and service will help dispel myths and misunderstandings. (Jack plans to both publish these results.)
You can help this important work by completing the 2001 Questionnaire Regarding Dominance, Submission and Service at http://www.dss.sexresearch.org
(And... welcome, Lemondroppe. Perhaps as you grow in awareness of your own needs and try to communicate them in a straightforward and "look, honey, you're gonna get more ass out of this whole deal" manner, your husband won't prove to be as straightlaced as you think. )
Jack McGeorge, president/co-founder of Washington, DC's Black Rose group and former chairman of the board of the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF), has been working on a study
of dominance, submission and service (DSS) for the last 16 months.
Phase One of the survey was a questionnaire distributed at his lectures.
Phase two is an online survey in which you're being invited to participate. Reliable information describing our attitudes and practices regarding dominance, submission, slavery and service will help dispel myths and misunderstandings. (Jack plans to both publish these results.)
You can help this important work by completing the 2001 Questionnaire Regarding Dominance, Submission and Service at http://www.dss.sexresearch.org
(And... welcome, Lemondroppe. Perhaps as you grow in awareness of your own needs and try to communicate them in a straightforward and "look, honey, you're gonna get more ass out of this whole deal" manner, your husband won't prove to be as straightlaced as you think.
)
G
Guest
Guest
bumping the survey....
LemonDroppe
Experienced
- Joined
- Nov 9, 2001
- Posts
- 54
cymbidia said:Perhaps as you grow in awareness of your own needs and try to communicate them in a straightforward and "look, honey, you're gonna get more ass out of this whole deal" manner, your husband won't prove to be as straightlaced as you think.
I wish that were true. He seems to think that sex involves one minute of our time. No touching, no talking. I'm extremely vocal about what I want, and have been told that my bi-curiousness was unnatural. We've even gone to counseling.
But that's another story.
I pointed out Literotica to him, but he told me that it's sick. Guess that's why I'm still here (and registered now)!
SpectreT
Knight in Tarnished Armor
- Joined
- Mar 1, 2001
- Posts
- 1,905
Regarding the Survey:
I'm stubborn. But it beat me in round 1. I only got through 30 pages of it before my poor brain called "enough!"
so I'll be going to bed soon.
And, LemonDroppe;
That is a damn shame.
So many people, so few open minds.....
(Hey, everyone! Free Sig Line, if you want it! just give me the credit for it!)
I'm stubborn. But it beat me in round 1. I only got through 30 pages of it before my poor brain called "enough!"
so I'll be going to bed soon.
And, LemonDroppe;
That is a damn shame.
So many people, so few open minds.....
(Hey, everyone! Free Sig Line, if you want it! just give me the credit for it!)
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WriterDom
Good to the last drop
- Joined
- Jun 25, 2000
- Posts
- 20,077
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=18542
I stumbled upon this poem. Thought yall might enjoy it too.
I stumbled upon this poem. Thought yall might enjoy it too.
Natalie Nessus
Gypsy Soul
- Joined
- Apr 27, 2001
- Posts
- 5,740
LemonDroppe said:
Lemondroppe: We all grow, need information to discover ourselves. I would suggest some things re your husband but that is not my place, you will discover, learn grow.
Cym:I adore your av, it is so so perfect
cymbidia
unrepentant pervert
- Joined
- Mar 8, 2001
- Posts
- 8,786
It's a heartache, nothing but a heartache
Hits you when it's too late, hits you when you're down
It's a fool's game, nothing but a fool's game
Standing in the cold rain, feeling like a clown
I'll be away for awhile.
Just didn't want anyone wondering about that, if anyone would have.
Hits you when it's too late, hits you when you're down
It's a fool's game, nothing but a fool's game
Standing in the cold rain, feeling like a clown
I'll be away for awhile.
Just didn't want anyone wondering about that, if anyone would have.
