Let's Talk About... Younger Men With Older Women

[Wild_Honey_66]

How common are these couples in your family or social circles?

In general, how are they viewed by others?

Have you ever been in this sort of relationship? (Yes, online partners included.) What was your experience like?

Because of the 'cougar' stereotype, i am especially curious about relationships in which the younger male is the dominant partner and/or was the one to initiate the relationship.

Anybody care to share?

 

[NeonSubtlety]

A cousin of mine married a 50 year old woman in his mid 20’s. It did seem to be talked about with careful tongues. I think a lot had to do with a backseat being given to family-rearing.

I think that’s fairly common in the southeast/Midwest.

I’ve had a handful of flings/crushes on older women. They were all based in sex, though...mostly based on the attraction to someone wiser than I. But, I haven’t ever seen it as a potential for more than that. Not sure why. Probably because of some preconceived notions.

But I do think it should have its place. I don’t think I view it very differently than a relationship between an older man and younger woman.

 

[HBergeron]

They are not common in my experience, except for me.
I don't think most people bat an eye about it these days - it's about time older women felt free to do what they will sexually - hallelujah! It wasn't that way when I was growing up.

A married woman 9 years older alleviated me of my virginity, and I have always prefered older women, although these days I'm tempering that to go for woman my age or a little younger. No 20 or 30-somethings.

I don't like the idea of dominance or submission in a relationship - equal, eager partners makes it work for me.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

What are the arguments against this arrangement?

**A younger man ought to be with a woman young enough to bear and raise children.

**There's no way they can have enough in common to have a healthy relationship (younger man as boyfriend).

**It's shameful for a woman to want a man only/mostly for sex (younger man as lover).

Feel free to add your own.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

A cousin of mine married a 50 year old woman in his mid 20’s. It did seem to be talked about with careful tongues. I think a lot had to do with a backseat being given to family-rearing.

I think that’s fairly common in the southeast/Midwest.

I’ve had a handful of flings/crushes on older women. They were all based in sex, though...mostly based on the attraction to someone wiser than I. But, I haven’t ever seen it as a potential for more than that. Not sure why. Probably because of some preconceived notions.

But I do think it should have its place. I don’t think I view it very differently than a relationship between an older man and younger woman.

They are not common in my experience, except for me.
I don't think most people bat an eye about it these days - it's about time older women felt free to do what they will sexually - hallelujah! It wasn't that way when I was growing up.

A married woman 9 years older alleviated me of my virginity, and I have always prefered older women, although these days I'm tempering that to go for woman my age or a little younger. No 20 or 30-somethings.

I don't like the idea of dominance or submission in a relationship - equal, eager partners makes it work for me.

Thank you both for chiming in!

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

...But, I haven’t ever seen it as a potential for more than that. Not sure why. Probably because of some preconceived notions.

But I do think it should have its place. I don’t think I view it very differently than a relationship between an older man and younger woman.

These feel like contradictory viewpoints to me. Would you mind elaborating?

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

... I have always prefered older women, although these days I'm tempering that to go for woman my age or a little younger...

Why the change in preference?

 

[Bill_Cosplay]

My first experience, so many years ago, was when I was 21, when a friend of mine asked me, "Hey, do you want to go to a bar where the women will buy you drinks?"

And they did, and they typically had a 10 to 15 year age advantage on me. No relationship, just casual sex, though the only friend of mine who did enter a relationship was a guy pushing thirty with a woman in her mid forties. It didn't last. She had a serious career and he was in a band going nowhere.


The only guy I sort of knew, from my youth, who married an older woman, was about 18 or 19, I think, and she was in her 30s. He did it for the sex. He was no ladies man. They married, the sex stopped, he was miserable. I don't know if they are still together.

I haven't seen it too often anymore, except in pornos.

 

[CleverCowardice]

It's not at all common. I think I'm the only one in my social circle who has frequently been involved with older women. I couldn't tell you how those relationships were viewed, because I don't give a shit what anyone thinks about me, my relationships, or how I live my life, and unless you're the person I'm sticking my dick into, who I date or why I date them isn't your fucking concern.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

My first experience, so many years ago, was when I was 21, when a friend of mine asked me, "Hey, do you want to go to a bar where the women will buy you drinks?"

And they did, and they typically had a 10 to 15 year age advantage on me. No relationship, just casual sex, though the only friend of mine who did enter a relationship was a guy pushing thirty with a woman in her mid forties. It didn't last. She had a serious career and he was in a band going nowhere.


The only guy I sort of knew, from my youth, who married an older woman, was about 18 or 19, I think, and she was in her 30s. He did it for the sex. He was no ladies man. They married, the sex stopped, he was miserable. I don't know if they are still together.

I haven't seen it too often anymore, except in pornos.

Thank you for joining in!

It's not at all common. I think I'm the only one in my social circle who has frequently been involved with older women. I couldn't tell you how those relationships were viewed, because I don't give a shit what anyone thinks about me, my relationships, or how I live my life, and unless you're the person I'm sticking my dick into, who I date or why I date them isn't your fucking concern.

Dude. Chill. We're all just having a nice conversation here.

Do you mind if i ask whether your relationships with older women tend to be primarily sexual in nature, or more balanced in all areas?

 

[CleverCowardice]

Do you mind if i ask whether your relationships with older women tend to be primarily sexual in nature, or more balanced in all areas?

They were actual relationships. I've never been one for purely sexual affairs. And, quite frankly, any older woman who was just on the prowl for some sweet young cock would, I hope, be more selective and possess higher standards than to settle on me for that purpose.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

They were actual relationships. I've never been one for purely sexual affairs. And, quite frankly, any older woman who was just on the prowl for some sweet young cock would, I hope, be more selective and possess higher standards than to settle on me for that purpose.

'Sweet young cock' - LOL!!

Tangent: Is twenty-something cock significantly better than forty-something cock? Asking for a friend.

 

[CleverCowardice]

'Sweet young cock' - LOL!!

Tangent: Is twenty-something cock significantly better than forty-something cock? Asking for a friend.

I imagine it probably depends on the cock and/or the guy to which the cock is attached. Me? My cock has been fucking awesome at any age.

 

[Jada59]

Nobody really talks about it that I know of. My best friend married a much younger guy. My ex was younger. Most of the men I've been with both online and IRL have been younger.

Now my mom does give me a hard time because there's a young guy who works at a store here who is smitten with me. He falls all over himself when I go in there. He chats with me and once even asked me to feel his hair. I've had people say that she's just jealous. Could be. She keeps talking of dumping her BF who is slightly older than her and finding a young stud. But personality-wise, we are polar opposites. She dislikes most people and always seems to be in a foul mood so it's not likely she'll attract anyone and some of us even wonder how she got the BF that she does have!

I recently heard or read (can't remember which) statistics that claimed the larger the age difference, the greater the chances of breakup would be. They made the claim that one year one way or the other was ideal. I haven't found that to be the case.

The only time I had an issue was a blind/double date. The other three were much older than me. I suspect that things would have gone a lot better if he and I had been alone. But no. The other couple kept monopolizing the conversation. They were talking and laughing about things that happened to the three of them and before my time. My date and I kept trying to steer the conversation to other topics, but no. They just kept at it. Worse still, they seemed to be trying to make me appear ignorant when I didn't know what the were talking about. And then when we went to a bar, we all got carded. They blamed me as I was barely 21. They were over twice my age.

I can perhaps see an issue if the older person doesn't at least try to keep current on some things. For instance, I know a lot of people who stopped listening to new music much beyond high school or college. I remember thinking when I was young that I would never do that. And I didn't. Something like that could create a problem if the older person becomes set in their ways and refuses to change.

Or if because of their age, they feel superior to the younger person. I do remember snapping at a younger person who was saying something really silly and stupid about how she thought the world worked. I told her I had been roaming this earth a lot longer than she had. In instantly regretted phrasing it that way as she took offense. I won't get into details of the argument but she flat out didn't understand something that perhaps a person could only understand if they had been in that situation before. It sort of involved paying rent, bills, etc.

Bottom line, to me, age is merely a number. I have encountered people much younger than me (some of them here) that seem very wise beyond their years. And people who are older than me who are not very mature at all. Then there are those who are young at heart. I think it's all good if we have respect for one another.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

... Me? My cock has been fucking awesome at any age.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Fourteen replies, 108 views.

We've got some lurkers.

 

[TANSTAAFL58]

If you'd asked me in my late thirties or early forties I'd have said I liked / was attracted to women that were older than me. It turns out, however, that the reality is that I like women in their fifties and sixties. There's a difference

 

[lustpuppy]

Jada59quote
Bottom line, to me, age is merely a number. I have encountered people much younger than me (some of them here) that seem very wise beyond their years. And people who are older than me who are not very mature at all. Then there are those who are young at heart. I think it's all good if we have respect for one another.


could it be here you are talking about "old/young souls" just a thought

 

[hotwords229_A]

What are the arguments against this arrangement?

**A younger man ought to be with a woman young enough to bear and raise children.

**There's no way they can have enough in common to have a healthy relationship (younger man as boyfriend).

**It's shameful for a woman to want a man only/mostly for sex (younger man as lover).

Feel free to add your own.

1. What if he doesn't want children?
2. We don't know that. Love is really all they need in common.
3. Change the word "shameful" to "totally hot" and I agree completely.

 

[beachbaby179]

If you'd asked me in my late thirties or early forties I'd have said I liked / was attracted to women that were older than me. It turns out, however, that the reality is that I like women in their fifties and sixties. There's a difference

So you've caught up, is what you're saying...

 

[HBergeron]

Why the change in preference?

Because at this point in my life, older women are really old.

 

[Smoothshavendad]

I think older men make better lovers. I don’t have a choice at this age!

 

[curvyangel1969]

I have been in serious relationships with both older and younger men and been equally happy. From 10 years younger to 13 years older. I think it depends on the outlook of the person and not the actual age gap.

Now as far as dating younger men...well I've been called a cougar a time or two. Only once was it purely for sex. Mostly I'm the girl who wants a relationship not a fuck buddy.

 

[AlwaysFara]

I’m in a relationship for a couple of years with a man 16 years my junior.
I’m no cougar. I’m immature and he’s an old soul.

He’s closer in age to my kids, but by their age he had been living on his own for years.
It works.
It’s not an issue for him.

I struggle a lot with him not having kids of his own if he stays with me. He’s like, but I love you. Why would I want to have kids with someone I’m not in love with?

My ex was younger than me. Most of my online guy friends and male co-workers that I connect with are younger than me.
It can work.
It’s about intelligence, openess, and self reliance, IMO. And he has to make enough money that I’m not supporting him.
All boxes checked.

Oh, plus, I love him.

ETA, your last question, Honey. He initiated the relationship. We are bedroom D/s and pretty equal outside of that.

 

[AlwaysFara]

I think older men make better lovers. I don’t have a choice at this age!

I think you’re wrong.