The Isolated Blurt Thread XV : This is ridiculous.

[butters]

omg, mike pence emailed me in my spam box! i'm feeling so fucking honoured right now... even if he does read like an ESL peeps

GREETINGS TO YOU DEAREST!

I am Mike Pence, Vice President of the United States and this is to inform you about your Bank Check Draft brought back by the United Embassy from the government of Benin Republic in the white house Washington DC as your compensation fund been mandated to be deliver to your home address, To avoid wrong delivery of your check draft worth Ten million united states dollars ( 10.000.000,00 Million) Kindly reconfirm to me the below data

1. Your Full Names..................

2. Your Residential Address ...........*...........

3. Your Mobile Cell Number.............*..........

Contact Email Address: (mikepence.file@outlook.com)

YOURS SINCERELY,MR MIKE PENCE

i feel as if i've won the lottery... spammers gonna spam and this one was the funniest yet

 

[pink]

I want to be a judge on The Great British Baking Show.

 

[jezzilee]

I want to be a judge on The Great British Baking Show.

I love that show!! I made the canadian watch many episodes with me!

 

[BiTodd]

My tumblr feed is so hot.

 

[pink]

I love that show!! I made the canadian watch many episodes with me!

I've got it on DVR.

 

[Noor]

How can you be in two places at once when you're not anywhere at all?

I don't get how everyone is with Jesus and/or God when they die, the logistics are mind blogging.

 

[Saint Peter]

I always vote lips. But I’m weird.

Those were a close second to sips.

 

[trysail]

H. sapiens

"The loud and noisy species."​

​

 

[Saint Peter]

I put up with their noise during the late night party.

They will put up with mine during the morning mowing.

 

[Sean]

I put up with their noise during the late night party.

They will put up with mine during the morning mowing.

I'm presently debating whether to mow the back garden, put a new thermostat on the other Alfa or have a beer. Playing into the decision making process is the fact that France are playing Argentina at three o'clock.

 

[Sean]

I consider myself fairly well read and pretty conversant with the rules of English grammar. Imagine my shock at coming across the phrase "fronted adverbial" and not having a fucking clue what it meant. Apparently we're teaching this bollocks to seven year olds.

 

[von_Bismarck]

We ran across a huge herd of dolphins today. It was astonishing. They were 135 miles north of the mouth of the bay.


There must have been a hundred of them headed south in sub-groups of five to ten. They were so graceful. They'd leisurely surface and dive, slipping through the water. We decided they must have been following a big school of rockfish. There were several instances of very loud and obvious tail-slapping. We couldn't help but speculate what that was intended to communicate or whether it was part of their method for driving the fish.


It's been years since I've seen such a big group— and, god knows— never, in my life, did I ever expect to see such a thing in that place.


Sailormen are always delighted to see dolphins. They make your day— and today was a special one.

​

Pod of dolphins.

 

[Saint Peter]

Before I googled fronted adverbial, I had no fucking idea what Sean was talking about.

 

[Sean]

Before I googled fronted adverbial, I had no fucking idea what Sean was talking about.

I had to Google it as well.

 

[Saint Peter]

I had to Google it as well.

I would prefer if we just taught them how properly count change back while working at the registrar.

 

[Sean]

 

[bestone4ever]

Pod of dolphins.

Ring of Fire.

 

[pink]

I would prefer if we just taught them how properly count change back while working at the registrar.

And cursive writing.

 

[Saint Peter]

And cursive writing.

As long as it is legible.

I noticed a summer intern typing with two fingers on a computer. WTF? Of all the skills to not know as a young person.

 

[IrezumiKiss]

I would prefer if we just taught them how properly count change back while working at the registrar.

I'd say you'd have more to worry about that problem at the bursar's.

https://media.giphy.com/media/DkVpNlNxe74Uo/giphy.gif

As long as it is legible.

I noticed a summer intern typing with two fingers on a computer. WTF? Of all the skills to not know as a young person.

Typing was the most useful class I ever took in high school, in hindsight. Hunted and pecked going in, used all digits coming out. I can work a keyboard blindfolded if I had to.

Well, with errors, though, but still.

 

[Sean]

As long as it is legible.

I noticed a summer intern typing with two fingers on a computer. WTF? Of all the skills to not know as a young person.

I hunt and peck at a fair old clip. Never learned to type, which is bizarre when you consider how much of my working life has been spent in front of a keyboard.

 

[nowisthetime]

Kick ass, France!!!!



Sorry, Messi, love you, but rooting for France!

 

[Sean]

Kick ass, France!!!!



Sorry, Messi, love you, but rooting for France!

One should always support anyone playing Argentina. Apart from Germany, obviously. If Germany are playing Argentina one should watch the cricket instead.

 

[IrezumiKiss]

https://image.ibb.co/dnFG1d/IMG_0534.jpg

https://image.ibb.co/cHELSJ/IMG_0535.jpg

 

[thør]

https://scontent-cdg2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/36373763_2095619307343651_2919941298666340352_n.jpg?_nc_cat=0&oh=7d0fd13e2d19c89c80534d27aa023d3c&oe=5BA88251

I hear it's hot in London.