The Sexuality of Women in Their 40's and 50's

[Marcus63]

I would like to hear from others, particularly other women, about their experiences with sex in their 40's and 50's. I am 47 and almost a year ago I became a new sexual being. It has grown and grown since then. I am not sure if it's hormonal, the physical relief of my kids getting older and me not being so exhausted all the time, or what.

Usually you hear that women my age have sex drives that are declining, but mine is the opposite. I'd love to hear from other ladies about how your body and mind and libido has changed as you've gotten older.

I'm a guy, as my name would indicate. Back when I was 21 I started fooling around with a woman who was 41. It was amazing sex. I'm not sure if it was because she was that sexual and needed it or if it was a turn on for her to be having sex with someone 20 years younger than her.

Either way, we had some awesome sex for the most part until we parted ways. The last time I had sex with her I was 28 and she was 48.

She tried things with me that she probably wouldn't do previously, at least that is what she told me.

I enjoyed our time together, we grew apart for different reasons. But, I don't regret her teaching me some things and me teaching her some things.

 

[Ladyinred59]

Thank you, tonytom...

for sharing this magnificent quote with all of us.

There are many ways to die. I find this particular sentence, "It reminds us that if passion dies or is denied, we are partly dead and that soon, come what may, we will be wholly so,” to be so very personally true. (sigh) The good news, however, is that it only takes one open, honest, genuine, compassionate and passionate human being to "resurrect" us!

“What is passion? It is surely the becoming of a person. Are we not, for most of our lives, marking time? Most of our being is at rest, unlived. In passion, the body and the spirit seek expression outside of self. Passion is all that is other from self. Sex is only interesting when it releases passion. The more extreme and the more expressed that passion is, the more unbearable does life seem without it. It reminds us that if passion dies or is denied, we are partly dead and that soon, come what may, we will be wholly so.” - John Boorman (British motion-picture director, b.1933)

 

[Ladyinred59]

Right on, DarkLisa...

I would like to hear from others, particularly other women, about their experiences with sex in their 40's and 50's. I am 47 and almost a year ago I became a new sexual being. It has grown and grown since then. I am not sure if it's hormonal, the physical relief of my kids getting older and me not being so exhausted all the time, or what.

Usually you hear that women my age have sex drives that are declining, but mine is the opposite. I'd love to hear from other ladies about how your body and mind and libido has changed as you've gotten older.

I've had the very same experience, DarkLisa. Like many women here, I've always had a very healthy sex drive, however, once I hit 40 my sex drive went through the roof!!! When I was 42, a neighbor's teen-aged son started coming onto me, though I was totally oblivious to the fact until 6 months in, when his mother confirmed what I had suspected. It is that singular experience which led me here, to Lit, in search of answers as to why a young man would have a crush on a 40+ year old woman with two kids. Yes, I was THAT naive. lol.

Once here at Lit, I not only learned that there were a LOT of young men who were into older women, and so I got my question answered in short order. But, I also learned, through reading many stories under various genres, that there was an entire world I knew nothing about! I was amazed at the variety of stories that turned me on. It was like a switch had been turned on inside my brain...and loins. Lit ended up becoming my Pandora's Box, and once open I have never been the same woman! Because of Lit, I ventured on a personal journey of sexual self discovery, which I hope NEVER ends. I am in my early 50's, and my sex drive only increases with age!!!

I wish to thank you for starting a thread such as this. It allows women like us a forum by which to share, and learn from each other. And, it allows men a peek into our psyches, and a better understanding of what makes us women-folk tick.

Kind of off topic but not, I'm 33 and very sexually adventurous. I love sex, all the time, many different ways. It has always been a fear of mine that my sex drive would decline in the coming years. While I understand it may be possible, you mature women in this thread have given me some peace of mind. Perhapes my best sex years are yet to come

Rozalin, I am here to tell you that, barring a major illness perhaps, you have nothing to fear and...YES...your best sex years are still to come! For us women, sex is a STATE of MIND!!! If you keep your mind sexy, and TURNED ON most of the time, and your body relatively healthy, there is no reason that your sex drive should wane with age. With a loving partner who keeps us excited and our mind turned on, and the stories here at Lit, it should not be difficult to keep our brain...and body...turned on all, or most of, the time.

 

[Ladyinred59]

Well done ladies. Sadly I had lost a feeling of my sexual self in the tide of motherhood and being a housewife. I had a couple of miscarriages in my twenties so my first born came when I was 30 and my second at 34...

I'm sorry to read of your miscarriages, Redrosewitch, but am very happy that you were able to have children, afterward.

 

[Ladyinred59]

Amen sister...

... and have enjoyed younger lovers as they seem to have the same sexual libido as me and so keen to please...

PREACH ON!!!

 

[luscious pearl]

I have read some posts on here and I agree with many of them. Since turning 40, I've never felt more sexually alive. I can remember my sexual impulses being strong at a very early age and let myself believe (foolishly) that these feelings were wrong and a "sin". I'm quite over that now and now enjoy relationships as well as a random meeting. Of course I believe in safety and being cautious because there are some freaky bastards out there but I also have had pleasure beyond belief I will never apologize for. I look forward to getting older and having even more fun as time moves on.

 

[Ladyinred59]

Lisa, very nicely said. It's a huge part of our culture to assume that older women are way past their sexual prime. And I think the term "cougar" carries with it a connotation of desperate sexuality. Not the kind of confident, powerful sexuality that is possible for a mature woman, especially in the eyes of a partner who appreciates her for what she is and offers...

Prof Emma, so eloquently stated. The term "cougar" drives me mad! It is Hollywood's way of bastardizing something as organic, and beautiful, as an age-gap relationship. It paints all older women who date younger men as being desperate old ladies just waiting to pounce on young flesh, when that couldn't be further from the truth. It is my personal experience that most older women don't even realize that younger guys are/could be interested in them, and like myself would never "hit" on them preferring instead that they approach us. In my opinion, Hollywood has, once again, taken a once-enjoyed taboo and degraded it. sigh

 

[notusuallyshy]

I saw a post a while ago from a woman asking if she was too old to be a new member of Literotica because she was aged 55. I wanted to reply immediately but was having a bugger of a time getting validated. The replies were positive only one was slightly negative although a truth as that person saw it. The comment was if she felt too old then she was too old. What the woman probably meant is it okay for me to be looking for sex or should I still have sexual needs when there is a confusing array of sexual politics suggesting it is weird or just plain wrong. If you look on line for sexual matters for women over fifty the sites are invariably about women having problems with sex usually low libido.
From an evolutionary viewpoint post-menopausal women who are still horny could be considered an anomaly. If the pursuit of money, power beauty status is really a mating dance to attract the best partner then sex is the imprinted instinct to enable procreation. Men can reproduce until they die, although sperm can be poor quality increasing the incidence of genetic mishaps this being Nature’s way of keeping the numbers down.
Who knows why nature does what nature does. There are a plethora of people who had stable happy backgrounds who have no idea where their sexual predilections sprung from. Who knows who really cares; it is what it is. If you get the horn for something then you get the horn.
Back to the original post I suspect like me she has come out of a long term relationship and is having a bit of a wobble. If it has been a very long relationship than it can feel as if the whole landscape has changed. The thought of getting down and dirty with someone new can be scary if it has been a few decades. She is not alone, divorce and separation spikes for people in their fifties and I would suggest that becoming single at this stage of life can be a good thing. Hopefully there will be some fully rounded mature men available. Some will be looking for younger stock maybe going on the theory that you are as young as the body you feel. This goes for women too and plenty of younger men post ads for older women.
I am fifty four and my libido shows no sign of going away. If the 55 year old woman is still about I would love to chat.

 

[runner4play28]

I'm a 29 year old guy and personally have gained a very large appreciation for older women and what they have to offer us "younger" guys. I was lucky to play on the phone with one older woman from the lit community and it was mind blowing on 2 separate occasions and would love to get to do it again. While I have never been with an older woman in real life it is definitely something I want to try very soon.

 

[sexymanlick69]

I'm 26 idk about every one else but I love older women so passonite and they know more

 

[lucky_guy_49]

My wife and I are both 59. Between raising kids, having some health issues and taking a lot of meds, her libido was low for years. It was entirely on me to initiate sex, and I still got "No" for an answer more times than "Yes". Now that the kids are grown and she's had some med changes, she still doesn't initiate sex, but she will sometimes tell me right out that she'd like to have a party later in the day or something.

During all this time, the sex we had has always been great, it's just that sometimes it's been really hard to get her started. Now not so much, and we're enjoying each other more. Particularly our vacations when we are away from all our responsibilities at home, and away from our home for that matter, we are much more intimate and adventurous. Probably the biggest hurdle to more frequent sex is our jobs and other obligations we have, sucking all our energy away. But we're retiring in a couple of years and I'm really looking forward to seeing how we do when we can be around each other more with less of life's pressures getting in the way. The trend IS moving in the right direction, so I'm confident that we're going to move into our 60s with a very satisfying sex life together.

 

[curious_debutante]

I would like to hear from others, particularly other women, about their experiences with sex in their 40's and 50's. I am 47 and almost a year ago I became a new sexual being. It has grown and grown since then. I am not sure if it's hormonal, the physical relief of my kids getting older and me not being so exhausted all the time, or what.

Usually you hear that women my age have sex drives that are declining, but mine is the opposite. I'd love to hear from other ladies about how your body and mind and libido has changed as you've gotten older.

I'm 43 and I'm experiencing what you describe. I'm becoming this new sensual sexual being. I'm invigorated by sex, interested in sex more and more, and my libido is ramped up, which is going some. I'm not sure what the change is doing to me, but it appears I'm supposed to be much more sexually active. People keep telling me it's going to crash, but I don't think so.

 

[HesterP]

I was pretty wild and adventurous when I was in my early 20's. Raising children and a career just seemed to sap most of my energy so the 30's were a fairly quite period. But now the kids are on their own. Well out of the house at least and I have some time for me, I find the sexual interest starting to come to the fore again. Hopefully I can make up for some wasted years.

 

[MellowGem]

................

 

[Cream_me]

I've had the very same experience, DarkLisa. Like many women here, I've always had a very healthy sex drive, however, once I hit 40 my sex drive went through the roof!!! When I was 42, a neighbor's teen-aged son started coming onto me, though I was totally oblivious to the fact until 6 months in, when his mother confirmed what I had suspected. It is that singular experience which led me here, to Lit, in search of answers as to why a young man would have a crush on a 40+ year old woman with two kids. Yes, I was THAT naive. lol.

Once here at Lit, I not only learned that there were a LOT of young men who were into older women, and so I got my question answered in short order. But, I also learned, through reading many stories under various genres, that there was an entire world I knew nothing about! I was amazed at the variety of stories that turned me on. It was like a switch had been turned on inside my brain...and loins. Lit ended up becoming my Pandora's Box, and once open I have never been the same woman! Because of Lit, I ventured on a personal journey of sexual self discovery, which I hope NEVER ends. I am in my early 50's, and my sex drive only increases with age!!!

I wish to thank you for starting a thread such as this. It allows women like us a forum by which to share, and learn from each other. And, it allows men a peek into our psyches, and a better understanding of what makes us women-folk tick.


I feel the same exact way!!! I couldn't fathom the thought of a younger man being attracted to me. Although I am still attractive and in reasonably good shape, never in a million years would I have suspected a younger man would prefer an older woman.

I suppose there's some sort of societal brainwashing I've fallen prey to. But, damn, if breaking out it's spell isn't liberating and confidence building. I'm actually starting to notice men (of all ages) looking at me (or maybe I'm imagining some of it - who cares!) and it makes me feel terrific, builds my confidence, and makes me that much more desirous of all sorts of sex.

Now, if I could just convince my husband to stop working 100 hrs/week and pay attention to me.

 

[tycho71]

I've had the very same experience, DarkLisa. Like many women here, I've always had a very healthy sex drive, however, once I hit 40 my sex drive went through the roof!!! When I was 42, a neighbor's teen-aged son started coming onto me, though I was totally oblivious to the fact until 6 months in, when his mother confirmed what I had suspected. It is that singular experience which led me here, to Lit, in search of answers as to why a young man would have a crush on a 40+ year old woman with two kids. Yes, I was THAT naive. lol.

Once here at Lit, I not only learned that there were a LOT of young men who were into older women, and so I got my question answered in short order. But, I also learned, through reading many stories under various genres, that there was an entire world I knew nothing about! I was amazed at the variety of stories that turned me on. It was like a switch had been turned on inside my brain...and loins. Lit ended up becoming my Pandora's Box, and once open I have never been the same woman! Because of Lit, I ventured on a personal journey of sexual self discovery, which I hope NEVER ends. I am in my early 50's, and my sex drive only increases with age!!!

I wish to thank you for starting a thread such as this. It allows women like us a forum by which to share, and learn from each other. And, it allows men a peek into our psyches, and a better understanding of what makes us women-folk tick.


I feel the same exact way!!! I couldn't fathom the thought of a younger man being attracted to me. Although I am still attractive and in reasonably good shape, never in a million years would I have suspected a younger man would prefer an older woman.

I suppose there's some sort of societal brainwashing I've fallen prey to. But, damn, if breaking out it's spell isn't liberating and confidence building. I'm actually starting to notice men (of all ages) looking at me (or maybe I'm imagining some of it - who cares!) and it makes me feel terrific, builds my confidence, and makes me that much more desirous of all sorts of sex.

Now, if I could just convince my husband to stop working 100 hrs/week and pay attention to me.

Cream, you tell that hubby to start paying you the deserved attention! I'm glad that you're feeling good about being noticed. I am SURE that you are NOT imagining the glances from the fellas. I'd be ...glancing

 

[annabellsmith]

As a woman in my 40s I agree that my drive gets stronger and stronger. I have also found that I'm much tighten then I was as a virgin. Glad I'm not the only one!

 

[cookiecat]

I can't believe I'm 55, it freaks me out at times. The dreaded "m" word creeps up... which is even scarier. My married life has changed a lot - husband/health issues - so sex with him isn't as frequent.

Sometimes it seems way too easy to tuck that part of me away and forget how awesome it is, so I try really hard to make sure staying sexual and aroused is on the daily list of things to do:

1. grocery shopping
2. laundry
3. gym
4. masturbation
5. talk dirty

 

[perky101]

wrong

I hope not to offend, but if I may give an older males point of view:

It is the confidence that makes a woman of any age sensually & sexually attractive. If the woman is happy with herself she shows the confidence and creates the mystic that we of the male species crave.
At least that is my own humble opinion.

I disagree wholeheartedly! I like to give a sexual awakening to women who, regardless of age, for various reasons are not confident about their sexual prowess. When they are so overwhelmed by the orgasms and lust I own them! I love to make love to women who've never had a cock stretch them open and bump their cervix before, or felt the pleasures an experienced tongue can give them.!

 

[cookiecat]

I disagree wholeheartedly! I like to give a sexual awakening to women who, regardless of age, for various reasons are not confident about their sexual prowess. When they are so overwhelmed by the orgasms and lust I own them! I love to make love to women who've never had a cock stretch them open and bump their cervix before, or felt the pleasures an experienced tongue can give them.!

That's hot but I like what simpletimes said too... that he's attracted to sexually confident women.

What bums me out is when - especially an older guy - looks for a newbie, someone inexperienced. That's great if it's your preference but I'm 55. I have some some mileage Good mileage. I like that I know what I want and I'm not afraid to ask for it.

That being said, I love the opposite end of the spectrum - even though I'm confident I love sex.... having that new moment with someone who enjoys it just as much as I do and can do something I've done a lot in the past but does it in his own way...

I like approaching a new person with that "innocent" mindset - it's all unknown and I'm ready to be corrupted.

 

[KUJACK]

Best sex ever

The best sex ever was recently with 68 yr old woman, with a very tight pussy!

 

[CindyCD478]

The best sex ever was recently with 68 yr old woman, with a very tight pussy!

I'm with you on this. My Mom is still hot at 68!

 

[eroticspank]

I hope not to offend, but if I may give an older males point of view:

It is the confidence that makes a woman of any age sensually & sexually attractive. If the woman is happy with herself she shows the confidence and creates the mystic that we of the male species crave.
At least that is my own humble opinion.

I disagree wholeheartedly! I like to give a sexual awakening to women who, regardless of age, for various reasons are not confident about their sexual prowess. When they are so overwhelmed by the orgasms and lust I own them! I love to make love to women who've never had a cock stretch them open and bump their cervix before, or felt the pleasures an experienced tongue can give them.!

We all have different opinions on things and that is why people and sex can be so diverse.

In my opinion I actually like both of the above. I read a book years ago that involved a woman discovering herself sexually. She was given a sexual awakening by one of her lovers and from that point on did not look back. She saw orgasms and her satisfaction in bed as something she deserved and did what she needed to achieve that. She became a confident woman in the bedroom. Just as I would enjoy to be the one giving her the awakening, I am very turned on by a sexually confident woman. There are many things in her personality, as well as how she carries herself physically that is a major turn on to me. It is also nice to be with a woman that likes sex as much as I do.

ES

 

[Devlishone4fun]

Age has noting to with it and I wish a lot would quit beating a dead horse. Sexy comes in all ages.

 

[misterb64]

My wife is in her early 50's and she's been in this pre-menopausal state for at least the past 10 years. That means sex is the last thing on her mind. When we do have sex, it's straight vanilla. No imagination. No "weird" positions. No blowjobs. No toys. No long drawn out sexual experiences, she wants it done and over with. We've been married forever and I love and cherish her, but damn I'm about to lose my fucking mind!