Tell me about your transition from monogamy to non-monogamy or straight to bisexuality as a married/partnered couple.

[Bayzapper10]

My wife and I have been married 20+ years, went from straight and monogamous in about year ten to non-monogamous/polyamorous for a couple years, to non-monogamous and both seeking bisexual relationships this year. I would like to hear other couple’s experiences who have a similar story, the lead up, what the point of ignition for your change was, how your spouse either lead, resisted, or joined you, and the positives or any negatives you can share.

I love stories that have the first-time theme, they are my all time favorite subject. We are set to have several first-time experiences in the very near future (MMF threesome including bisexual male sex, first-time blowjobs, multiple cocks, etc.), and I want to hear what others have experienced. The upside of “the first time” is the fantasy you go into it having, the downside is reality rarely equals expectations, not always bad, but that is the thrust of why I am asking to hear from those more on the other side of it.

As background to our story: We were very religious when we met, raised by religious parents, friends and family were to for the most part. The initial experience began with a “crises of faith”, and my wife having an affair with a good friend of hers/ours. That transitioned to a de facto polyamorous relationship for a couple years. Last year my wife had a resurgence of her libido, to put it mildly, and she has been exploring aspects of her sexuality in multiple forms, mostly virtual so far, and we are doing as much together as she is comfortable with. Early on she told me that her biggest fantasy was for us to “blow a guy together”. I had no bi-curiosity prior to that revelation, but began thinking about it, challenging my long held prejudices and phobias. Through her we became involved with a chat group of bi-curious men and women that have been so positive and supportive (shout out to “The Buds”!), and we are now both very comfortable and excited about the next step of making her fantasy come true.

 

[PG564E]

My wife and I have been married 20+ years, went from straight and monogamous in about year ten to non-monogamous/polyamorous for a couple years, to non-monogamous and both seeking bisexual relationships this year. I would like to hear other couple’s experiences who have a similar story, the lead up, what the point of ignition for your change was, how your spouse either lead, resisted, or joined you, and the positives or any negatives you can share.

I love stories that have the first-time theme, they are my all time favorite subject. We are set to have several first-time experiences in the very near future (MMF threesome including bisexual male sex, first-time blowjobs, multiple cocks, etc.), and I want to hear what others have experienced. The upside of “the first time” is the fantasy you go into it having, the downside is reality rarely equals expectations, not always bad, but that is the thrust of why I am asking to hear from those more on the other side of it.

As background to our story: We were very religious when we met, raised by religious parents, friends and family were to for the most part. The initial experience began with a “crises of faith”, and my wife having an affair with a good friend of hers/ours. That transitioned to a de facto polyamorous relationship for a couple years. Last year my wife had a resurgence of her libido, to put it mildly, and she has been exploring aspects of her sexuality in multiple forms, mostly virtual so far, and we are doing as much together as she is comfortable with. Early on she told me that her biggest fantasy was for us to “blow a guy together”. I had no bi-curiosity prior to that revelation, but began thinking about it, challenging my long held prejudices and phobias. Through her we became involved with a chat group of bi-curious men and women that have been so positive and supportive (shout out to “The Buds”!), and we are now both very comfortable and excited about the next step of making her fantasy come true.

Hi, congratulations on you and your wife's hunger to reach for the stars sexually. Time goes so fast I hope you two act quickly but carefully also. I would like to PM you as I'm married, male, and love having sex with other men. Can give you insights into what I've done but must be discreet. I want to let your wife read my comments also.
Is it alright to message you?

 

[JohnyJ09]

I met my wife when I was 18 and she was a couple years older than me and clearly more experienced. Nonetheless, I was absolutely infatuated with her and admittedly, her sexuality was part of that attraction. She had told me about a threesome she had with twin brothers; a story that both aroused me but also made me feel slightly insecure and had me judging her a bit. She ended up cheating on me and we broke up, but during our breakup, all I could think about was her cheating and whatever else she was likely up to now that we were apart. When we reconciled, I couldn't help but ask for details of her infidelity. I also admitted to her that I was extremely curious about experiencing a threesome with her. We ended up having the great fortune of getting the opportunity to have a threesome with one of our co-workers. It was so enjoyable that it became a somewhat regular thing between the three of us. They ended up enjoying each other so much that they started to do their own thing behind my back as well which led to our second breakup.

Months later, she reached out to me and we inevitably reconciled again. By then, though, I knew that she simply was not going to be satisfied with just me and I proposed a non-monogamous relationship. It actually took her a bit to get into it but we got there. Over time I started to become curious about performing oral on other men and my wife was extremely supportive of me exploring that curiosity. She ended up finding a guy that was very much open to letting me go down on him and as much as I loved it, my wife was surprised by how much of a turn-on it was for her to watch me as well. While she's a bit too jealous to be okay with me having relationships with other women, she is completely okay with me having oral with other guys.

 

[magic_rat]

My transition started the day I met my partner. I met her via a swinging site and we met for sex, then just stayed together.

We both agreed early on that if we ever got into a relationship it would have to be open, as we both enjoy variety. We discussed options and decided that ethical non-monogamy was what we wanted.

It can be hard, because it requires total honesty, but it's rewarding too. She likes a lot of cock and I've been happy to share her with other men or for her to go off and fuck others, and I have other lovers on the side. We've also visited sex clubs where she's been gang-banged end enjoyed the glory holes.

I also told her about my bisexuality which she found really hot and she loves seeing me with another guy.

 

[SPARTAN047]

I haven't quite dived into polyamory.

I'm curious. I've fooled around with other couples a few times and watched them. Some wanted me as a regular lover, I think most wanted a one-off or we never met again. But I don't think I could easily share a proper sex partner or spouse.

Its exciting to be wanted by more than one person and be shared. It can be exciting to share someone you don't have too many feelings for and watch them being pleasured in front of you like you want others to watch you being pleasured. But it's very difficult for most people when you're truly in love with a person.

 

[GoodnessO]

I bought up the subject during pillow talk, after sex with my husband. Mind you, not comprehensive sex, but sex for us, such as it was/is. And for further contex, this was after we'd gone through a period of sexless years, which I eventually took the bull by the horns to address. I learned the reason my husband lost interest was because he had developed ED.
Sooo, back to the pillow talk scene, out of the blue, I asked my husband, "How would you feel if I fucked another man?" Uh huh, I'm a pretty blunt person... & my long-term loving husband is accustomed to, & accepting of that.
Hubby: "You're gonna do what you're gonna do." [Hmmm, he knows me so well.]
Me: "Would you want to watch? Or participate in any way?"
Hubby: "No."
Me: "Your sure?"
Hubby: "I'm sure."
Me: "I'm glad, but I figured I had to ask."
All my life, I felt I was monogamous, & mostly I was.... I was entirely monogamous with each of 2 husbands, & a live-in lover.
I wanted to be with just 1 lover. And my current husband always trusted me. I'm a very straight forward & honest person. He never questioned where I went or with who. I always had some male friends & project buddies, but he was never jealous or concerned.
Then suddenly I wasn't feeling monogamous anymore, because I was sexually unsatisfied, & I realized, no matter how hard I tried, it wasn't going to change... but at least we did regain & improve our physical & emotional intimacy.
A few weeks went by, & my mind was on cheating. Not for a thrill that cheating may bring some people. And then I did, & I did again, & a 3rd time. At which point I was resolved that I needed to follow-up on this with my husband. I was very tempted to tell him about my cheating, but I didn't, & looks like I won't... not unless he asks.
So, I bought up our sexlife for discussion.
Hubby: "I'm sorry, there's nothing more I can do for you."
Me: "You could grant me open marriage."
Hubby: doesn't respond.
Couple weeks later, I bring it up again.
Me: "You didn't respond when I suggested you grant me open marriage."
Hubby: "I thought I did."
Me: "No, you didn't. But tell me, what response did you think you told me?"
Hubby: "That you would, & I'm ok with it."
Me: "You definitely did not tell me that. But you're telling me that now?"
Hubby: "Yes."
Me: "You're ok with me dating, having extramarital sex, generally sleeping around?"
Hubby: "Well, yes... if that's what you want."
Then I got up, & I straddled my husband as he sat in his office style chair, & I gave him a big hug & a long deep kiss, & told him how much I love him.

 

[Matt3427]

I bought up the subject during pillow talk, after sex with my husband. Mind you, not comprehensive sex, but sex for us, such as it was/is. And for further contex, this was after we'd gone through a period of sexless years, which I eventually took the bull by the horns to address. I learned the reason my husband lost interest was because he had developed ED.
Sooo, back to the pillow talk scene, out of the blue, I asked my husband, "How would you feel if I fucked another man?" Uh huh, I'm a pretty blunt person... & my long-term loving husband is accustomed to, & accepting of that.
Hubby: "You're gonna do what you're gonna do." [Hmmm, he knows me so well.]
Me: "Would you want to watch? Or participate in any way?"
Hubby: "No."
Me: "Your sure?"
Hubby: "I'm sure."
Me: "I'm glad, but I figured I had to ask."
All my life, I felt I was monogamous, & mostly I was.... I was entirely monogamous with each of 2 husbands, & a live-in lover.
I wanted to be with just 1 lover. And my current husband always trusted me. I'm a very straight forward & honest person. He never questioned where I went or with who. I always had some male friends & project buddies, but he was never jealous or concerned.
Then suddenly I wasn't feeling monogamous anymore, because I was sexually unsatisfied, & I realized, no matter how hard I tried, it wasn't going to change... but at least we did regain & improve our physical & emotional intimacy.
A few weeks went by, & my mind was on cheating. Not for a thrill that cheating may bring some people. And then I did, & I did again, & a 3rd time. At which point I was resolved that I needed to follow-up on this with my husband. I was very tempted to tell him about my cheating, but I didn't, & looks like I won't... not unless he asks.
So, I bought up our sexlife for discussion.
Hubby: "I'm sorry, there's nothing more I can do for you."
Me: "You could grant me open marriage."
Hubby: doesn't respond.
Couple weeks later, I bring it up again.
Me: "You didn't respond when I suggested you grant me open marriage."
Hubby: "I thought I did."
Me: "No, you didn't. But tell me, what response did you think you told me?"
Hubby: "That you would, & I'm ok with it."
Me: "You definitely did not tell me that. But you're telling me that now?"
Hubby: "Yes."
Me: "You're ok with me dating, having extramarital sex, generally sleeping around?"
Hubby: "Well, yes... if that's what you want."
Then I got up, & I straddled my husband as he sat in his office style chair, & I gave him a big hug & a long deep kiss, & told him how much I love him.

As a cucked husband of many years who now also has ED, I can tell you that it's the most erotic thing for a man with our mindset to know that his wife is enjoying sex with other men, particularity if it's taboo. More of it goes on than people realize.

 

[lovedoublepenetration]

I have always been a gangbang girl. Started out very early. My marriage didn't stop me from being a gangbang slut.

 

[NapierBone]

Very much started off as pillow-talk. Then the fantasies involving other people got more and more involved. Until eventually my wife took a unilateral decision and cheated on me. Once it was clear I was not only cool with that, but turned on, the door was open to The Lifestyle.

 

[Bayzapper10]

I have always been a gangbang girl. Started out very early. My marriage didn't stop me from being a gangbang slut.

I for one would love to hear more!

 

[SweeetHeart]

My wife and I have been married 20+ years, went from straight and monogamous in about year ten to non-monogamous/polyamorous for a couple years, to non-monogamous and both seeking bisexual relationships this year. I would like to hear other couple’s experiences who have a similar story, the lead up, what the point of ignition for your change was, how your spouse either lead, resisted, or joined you, and the positives or any negatives you can share.

I love stories that have the first-time theme, they are my all time favorite subject. We are set to have several first-time experiences in the very near future (MMF threesome including bisexual male sex, first-time blowjobs, multiple cocks, etc.), and I want to hear what others have experienced. The upside of “the first time” is the fantasy you go into it having, the downside is reality rarely equals expectations, not always bad, but that is the thrust of why I am asking to hear from those more on the other side of it.

As background to our story: We were very religious when we met, raised by religious parents, friends and family were to for the most part. The initial experience began with a “crises of faith”, and my wife having an affair with a good friend of hers/ours. That transitioned to a de facto polyamorous relationship for a couple years. Last year my wife had a resurgence of her libido, to put it mildly, and she has been exploring aspects of her sexuality in multiple forms, mostly virtual so far, and we are doing as much together as she is comfortable with. Early on she told me that her biggest fantasy was for us to “blow a guy together”. I had no bi-curiosity prior to that revelation, but began thinking about it, challenging my long held prejudices and phobias. Through her we became involved with a chat group of bi-curious men and women that have been so positive and supportive (shout out to “The Buds”!), and we are now both very comfortable and excited about the next step of making her fantasy come true.

I started typing out my story with my husband and realized it would be just that a whole story and did not want to overwhelm those looking to not read a whole background lol. Short version of it is that my husband and I started with going to nude resorts and got turned on to swinging and threesomes. From there we learned we enjoyed it being more than just us and liked the sex as well as met some amazing people.

 

[magicalmoments]

I've told my story before but I love retelling it every time someone starts a new thread on the topic.
My wife and I were high-school sweethearts. Lost our cherries together, married at under 20 years of age, 3 kids by the time we were 25, Owned our own home on a crippling mortgage and chasing the almighty $ as I climbed the career ladder. Our sex-lives took a dive. We went from being at it like rabbits in the first few years to having sex maybe once every 3-4 weeks by the time we were in our late 20's All from the stress and fatigue generated by our lifestyle.
The other thing of note was that we had never talked about our sex lives, our fantasies, our deepest desires. We also both read porn, my go to was the penthouse forum magazines, especially letters from wife swapping couples, hers was raunchy "true Romance" magazines full of heaving breasts and thrusting manhoods, you know the type of thing. But we never shared these or discussed the feelings they generated.
One day I discovered a swingers contact magazine at the local bookstore. I purchased it and brought it home. It was full of personal adverts from people looking to hook up for sex, some were even from couples/people in our town. I showed it to my wife. Although interested, she was appalled and said something to the effect of "if you think we're going there then you have another think coming buster!" The magazine joined the Penthouse forums in my bedside cabinet and I occasionally read it.
I noticed some time later that my wife had taken the magazine out and was reading it, it migrated to her bedside table. As well as the adverts it had stories from couples who had entered the lifestyle and how it had affected their lives. So, for the first time ever I held my breath and started talking to my wife about the magazine and how it affected me, turned me on, stimulated fantasies. She responded cautiously and tentatively sharing her own fantasies, all fairly innocent but she was holding back out of fear how I might react to my wife having fairly explicit sex related fantasies. But the impact on our sex lives was immediate. We turned into rutting teenagers again.
We started role playing some of the fantasies, talking about them as we fucked, which stimulated deeper conversations. We started talking about how a swinging lifestyle might work for us, where each of our "lines in the sand" were, without ever suggesting we would do it, all hypothetical of course. It was great, a new lease on life for both of us.
Then one day I came home from work and she told me that she had written out a personal advert for us as a couple seeking other couples for sharing fun erotic times and sent it away to the contact magazine. You could have knocked me over with a feather. This was probably a year after I had first brought the contact magazine home. It all went on from there. The next 18 years we were together were so much fun.