The Sexuality of Women in Their 40's and 50's

[VladHarkonnen]

I'm not sure...I know he'd not be into Viagra or anything. I'm not sure how to approach it...I don't want to sound like I am bitching. It's not that he doesn't help me out in other ways or anything, but if I've come once or twice already, he seems to figure I'm done...and I'm NOT!

Not into something that makes his cock hard? Does not compute...

 

[UCanBLeafinMe]

I wish that we all lived close enough to get together for a beer or a cocktail and chat about how much fun it is to be this age and this sexually aware..... Of course, all that raw mature sexual energy might cause an explosion of some type or another...lol.

Still excited that I'm NOT alone! lol

No, you're definitely not alone, and from what some of my older coworkers tell me, it can get better - or worse if you're a real "horny bitch", like I am LOL

The drink idea sounds great to me

 

[twister947]

Not into something that makes his cock hard? Does not compute...

Not saying this is the case, here, but for those that suffer them, the side-effects of Viagra can be pretty rough. Not so rough I've sworn the stuff off, but DAMN! Like Willie Nelson: "I'm gonna get drunk, and I sure do dread it..."

 

[Riley69]

Women in their 40's and 50's

When I was 21 years old, I worked with a lady who was 42. We were friends at work and started doing things together in the evenings. One night, I walked her to the door and just kissed her goodnight without even thinking about it. Her eyes lit up, and we went inside and made love all night long. We would fall asleep for a half hour or so, then one of us would wake up and we would start fooling around again.
It's a good thing I was 21 years old at the time!!! If I had been a 42 year old man, she would have killed me that night. We spent time together a lot more after that night, and we kept the sex going for months. She met a man who was older than her and was well-off, financially, and eventually married him. (I didn't blame her a bit! The brass ring only comes around so often in life and sometimes you just have to grab it!) I married my first wife when she was in her mid-20's, and her sex drive was in idle until she reached her 40's, then it kicked into high gear!

 

[LadyVer]

My opinion

You're an ass. Go try that on the General Board.

 

[doowopdoowop]

Oh Robbie...

... And just when I thought this place was getting a little class, here comes word vomit!

 

[Aphro]

First off, I have seen MANY women in their forties maybe even fifties who were very sexually attractive. But here's the thing, physical shape DOES make a difference, and if a woman feels disrespected because I don't find fat sexy, then she is really living in some kind of separate reality. The fact of the matter is, obesity is NOT sexy for most men. Okay, its not black and white, "a little meat on the bones" is fine, maybe even attractive, but obese is OUT.

So, sorry if this irritates you, but being in some kind of decent shape is EXTREMELY important. Likewise not having any kind of a skin disease. I mean, seriously, come on, any man that can be aroused in that kind of situation is probably taking viagra by the bottle.

So, basically, here is MY take on what makes a woman (or a man) sexually attractive. (1) being physically in shape, (2) being healthy, and (3) having a very nasty and totally uninhibited personality. WOW, that would totally turn me on.

Being "cute, beautiful, gorgeous".... uh uh, don't do much for me,
Being "young" (well, of course youth is a plus) is also not so important

And I am willing to meet the same conditions

(1) I am physically in not bad shape (Okay, I'm a little overweight, my BMI is about 26 so slightly overweight)
(2) I am healthy
(3) god, I am totally nasty and full of pure pure pure lust

and IF you want to take a chance, PLEASE see MY OWN PERSONAL site at
www.robbieshowsoff.com

cheers

Robbie

Pretty rude to come on a thread like this just to post about how you don't like fat chicks, Robbie.

And nice segue into pimping yourself and your website. You have your own domain name to allow you to post pictures of yourself jacking off? You are too self-absorbed by far. This is not the board for posting watch me jack off on cam posts, there is a personals board for that. This board is about discussing sexuality and issues relating to it.

 

[leagel]

I wish that we all lived close enough to get together for a beer or a cocktail and chat about how much fun it is to be this age and this sexually aware..... Of course, all that raw mature sexual energy might cause an explosion of some type or another...lol.

Still excited that I'm NOT alone! lol

I would love to sit and have a drink with the three of you... As much as I think I've learned at least a thing or two in the bedroom in fifty years, I also like to think I've learned a thing or two behind the bar, so let me pour you something nice....
...and no, you're NOT alone Lisa...

 

[UCanBLeafinMe]

Pretty rude to come on a thread like this just to post about how you don't like fat chicks, Robbie.

And nice segue into pimping yourself and your website. You have your own domain name to allow you to post pictures of yourself jacking off? You are too self-absorbed by far. This is not the board for posting watch me jack off on cam posts, there is a personals board for that. This board is about discussing sexuality and issues relating to it.

That was a quick boot out of the thread. It appears the original message is gone.

 

[leighannste17]

I hope not to offend, but if I may give an older males point of view:

It is the confidence that makes a woman of any age sensually & sexually attractive. If the woman is happy with herself she shows the confidence and creates the mystic that we of the male species crave.
At least that is my own humble opinion.

Wonderful. A man that actually gets women. I felt out of place for a minute, because everyone seems to go after cougars. In my experience, it's not the age, that matters, it's how much you've experienced. If you've been through as much as I have, in such a short period of time. You feel older, then you actually are, and sometimes you feel left out when all these guys are ogling older women. I've met some women in their 40's who have less of a sex drive then I do, and their maturity levels, are unreal.

It all depends on how you grew up, and how you've struggled in life. It has nothing to do with your age bracket.

 

[DarkLisa]

Wonderful. A man that actually gets women. I felt out of place for a minute, because everyone seems to go after cougars. In my experience, it's not the age, that matters, it's how much you've experienced. If you've been through as much as I have, in such a short period of time. You feel older, then you actually are, and sometimes you feel left out when all these guys are ogling older women. I've met some women in their 40's who have less of a sex drive then I do, and their maturity levels, are unreal.

It all depends on how you grew up, and how you've struggled in life. It has nothing to do with your age bracket.

Leighannste17, I understand where you are coming from, but I think you miss the point of this thread. Many of the ladies posting here do not consider themselves cougars, or at least for a long time we didn't. We were far from predatory and instead felt we were being judged by society for being older, wrinkled, imperfect, etc. Many of us had been stuck in mom/wife mode for so long that our sexuality had long since taken a powder and we went through the motions.

The whole point when you say "I"ve met some women in their 40's who have less of a sex drive than I do" is EXACTLY IT. Many, if not most, women in their 40's feel that way. That is why I started this thread, to find other women who are emerging out of the other end of being "just" moms or wives and embracing who we are, stretch marks and all.... for those of us who are starting to have libidos again, or for the lucky few who never lost theirs.... That's not to disparage anyone who is younger or to imply that you must be older to have maturity or sexuality. Far from it- the younger women's sexuality is emphasized all the time for us older ladies, often making us feel that we are of lesser worth than a younger woman. I wish I could express the joy that comes from reaching a point in your life where you dump all of the past baggage, as much as you can, and live life on your terms, in the bedroom and out of it.

You are welcome to hang here in this thread with us, since you are expressing that you are treated the same way that many older women are and are marginalized and underappreciated because of your age. Come be strong and embrace who you are with us!

P.S. Let me know where "all these guys are ogling older women", cause I haven't seen them yet! lol....Other than in this thread and a couple of others devoted to those of us who are "seasoned". (ahem).

 

[Prof_Emma]

Lisa, very nicely said. It's a huge part of our culture to assume that older women are way past their sexual prime. And I think the term "cougar" carries with it a connotation of desperate sexuality. Not the kind of confident, powerful sexuality that is possible for a mature woman, especially in the eyes of a partner who appreciates her for what she is and offers.

Many women buy into it too. Several years ago, in my early 50s, a friend said to me something along the lines of "Aren't you glad we're past the age when we have to worry about sex?" (BTW, she was/is married. I don't know if I felt sorrier for her, or for her husband.) I had no idea how to reply to that; I was just entering into my own sexual renaissance and was absolutely loving my sexuality. Downright reveling in it! But her outlook is all too common, I find, among women my age. Something that saddens me greatly.

Here's another revealing experience. A couple of years ago I was with a large group of people at a bar. A farewell gathering for a work colleague or something. There was a woman there, probably several years younger than me (but who looked kinda worn out and aged), who said something that wasn't heard, and then joked to not worry about it, as an older woman she was used to being invisible. Again: WTF? It was kind of a stock-taking moment for me, as I realized that my own experience was quite different. I didn't feel all that visible (especially in a sexual sense) when I was in my 30s and 40s, but in recent years I've realized that I often turn heads when I'm out and about, and am often the recipient of quite appreciative looks from men (and some women). It's the possibility of that kind of experience -- and the fact that it flies in the face of prevailing assumptions about the sexuality of older women -- that this thread celebrates, I think.

 

[Angellica1612]

What a wonderful thread! I had no libido for years, until i was about 46....and suddenly, HELLO...horny ALL the time! That's what brought me to Lit in the first place. I'm a writer. I was alone with no outlet for all those sexual longings, so I wrote erotica. Eventually, I figured there must be other erotica writers out there and that's when I found Lit. Since then, I have met some wonderful people here, including my Mutato, who I will be moving in with soon ....and I have grown leaps and bounds in the confidence department. I am a BBW...but that no longer shames me. I feel sexy and beautiful. And guess what? I recently got hit on for the first time in about 20 years in a parking lot! Wow! No matter what your size or shape, confidence and an awareness of your sexuality is VERY sexy!

 

[Danger_Mouse]

This thread is hard to read....

My wife has become the worst sex partner imaginable. Having sex means me doing her. My needs? She doesn't feel obligated to fulfill them.

I cannot imagine any woman her age (early 50's) wanting to F U C K me. And I am not a bad looking guy. I have lots of energy and can be very charming. Over the years I have become so desperate that I experience wild fantasies simply seeing a bit of cleavage at the grocery store.

After reading about all these horny older woman I am truly depressed. I think I'll go check out some stories and spend some time with my best mate, my right hand.

 

[dreamykitten2]

U know we have a lot in common

What a wonderful thread! I had no libido for years, until i was about 46....and suddenly, HELLO...horny ALL the time! That's what brought me to Lit in the first place. I'm a writer. I was alone with no outlet for all those sexual longings, so I wrote erotica. Eventually, I figured there must be other erotica writers out there and that's when I found Lit. Since then, I have met some wonderful people here, including my Mutato, who I will be moving in with soon ....and I have grown leaps and bounds in the confidence department. I am a BBW...but that no longer shames me. I feel sexy and beautiful. And guess what? I recently got hit on for the first time in about 20 years in a parking lot! Wow! No matter what your size or shape, confidence and an awareness of your sexuality is VERY sexy!

I was 53 when I had my sexually reawakening. I also started writing erotica and found lit. What a wonderful place to be with like minds. Prior to my ephinany, I didn't enjoy sex or even crave it. Now it's like the switch had been turned on full blast I think about sex 24/7. I am finally a very happy woman. I was never unhappy to my knowledge but now I'm thrilled. I'm also a BBW being comfortable in ones own skin has made my sexuality very erotic and sensuous. I feel sexy and am constantly told so by many. Which is good for my ego. I'm adventurous and enjoy all kinds of things I had not even been aware I'd want to do! I've also discovered I'm an exhibitionist too. I have a blog and thousands of followers. I had no idea this could be so much fun! Thank god for my sexual reawakening !

 

[marriedpervs]

My wife has become the worst sex partner imaginable. Having sex means me doing her. My needs? She doesn't feel obligated to fulfill them.

I cannot imagine any woman her age (early 50's) wanting to F U C K me. And I am not a bad looking guy. I have lots of energy and can be very charming. Over the years I have become so desperate that I experience wild fantasies simply seeing a bit of cleavage at the grocery store.

After reading about all these horny older woman I am truly depressed. I think I'll go check out some stories and spend some time with my best mate, my right hand.

Hi Danger_Mouse,
This is a sad state of affairs from your point of view! I must confess that the need to at least give the IMPRESSION that I want to FUCK a man is paramount to me. I realise that sex is at least 50% mental arousal and so I make it a very important part of fucking.

Ask your wife why she doesn't feel the need, nor the want, to entertain your concerns?? Then......make your decision about the best course of action.
If all else fails, LIT is a wonderful outlet!!!!

 

[groupon]

cute sexy older women are great !

In the past few months I've begun to notice how many sexy older women are all around me all the time. I never really noticed this before and find it very exciting. So much focus is put on young women in our society that its easy to miss out on all the really sexy ones out there over 35ish. I'm 32 and have a few grey hairs and have been taking notice of some older women and how beautiful they can be. When I take time to talk to them and check out their sexy bodies I get really excited. A woman who was in her mid to late forties flirted with me a few months ago and it changed my view of older women. I talked to her everyday for three days during a work training program and I overheard/walked in on her talking about how she wanted to have sex with me to another women, then the next day I found out she had a 20 year old son and 14 year old daughter. She was really sexy and had a great voice. I masturbated thinking about her for a long time after that.
I was a museum recently and I couldn't help admiring quite a bit more than the paintings and furniture. I went on a tour and noticed one women who was wearing a nice little black and white floral print dress that showed off her legs and cleavage. She had beautiful black hair and was there with here husband and kids. I think she caught me looking at her because we were all in the room listening to the presentation and my eyes were wandering over a few different women, mostly just out of curiosity. As I looked back and forth I noticed that she was smiling at me and only me, this happened a few times in a row whenever I looked back in her direction. In the next room, we ended up standing really close together because there were a lot of people on the tour and the room was very small. I looked her up and down and found she was clearly smiling at me. I think she was probably very into being the focus of my attention. I also noticed some other women who were dressed up and looking very pretty. I had to sit down after that and look at some art while day dreaming about these women. Even if some of them are are a little chubbier than younger women, they have a totally sexier thing going on and many are super sexy.

 

[SuzanneK]

Hi Lisa,

No darkness to embrace x I too found myself far more independent and my sexual libido suddenly grew when my kids grew up and moved out in my early 40's x Have always taken care of my body and health and never let my own self esteem or confidence falter as a mother while the kids grew up x

This is a good thing now as still look and feel attractive at 48 but finding that time on my hands plus the freedom, leaves me so frustrated sometimes as constantly horny, lol x I work/stay away sometimes and have enjoyed younger lovers as they seem to have the same sexual libido as me and so keen to please although sometimes not as experienced, but always eger and energetic unlike my partner and other guys my age x x x

 

[raekiel]

I'd love to hear from other ladies about how your body and mind and libido has changed as you've gotten older.

I'm 41 now and my sex drive seems to be increasing as well. Also, my comfort with my body has really improved - I used to HATE being seen naked - even by my lovers, but now I'm happy to be twisted into allsorts of pretzel-like shapes with the lights on. The men seem to be sensing my increased confidence and libido as well as I tend to attract mainly men in their mid to late 20s these days. Also, when I was younger I was quite dominant and selfish sexually, today I'm much more open to being directed to leave my comfort zone, as well as being open to alot of experimentation which would have offended me when I was younger.

40+ is seeming pretty awesome to me.

 

[lawless_smurf]

I'm 41 now and my sex drive seems to be increasing as well. Also, my comfort with my body has really improved - I used to HATE being seen naked - even by my lovers, but now I'm happy to be twisted into allsorts of pretzel-like shapes with the lights on. The men seem to be sensing my increased confidence and libido as well as I tend to attract mainly men in their mid to late 20s these days. Also, when I was younger I was quite dominant and selfish sexually, today I'm much more open to being directed to leave my comfort zone, as well as being open to alot of experimentation which would have offended me when I was younger.

40+ is seeming pretty awesome to me.

you jus won me over

 

[ejredlady]

I would like to hear from others, particularly other women, about their experiences with sex in their 40's and 50's. I am 47 and almost a year ago I became a new sexual being. It has grown and grown since then. I am not sure if it's hormonal, the physical relief of my kids getting older and me not being so exhausted all the time, or what.

Usually you hear that women my age have sex drives that are declining, but mine is the opposite. I'd love to hear from other ladies about how your body and mind and libido has changed as you've gotten older.

My libido has increased since menopause. And it was pretty darned good prior to that!

 

[DarkLisa]

Hi Lisa,

No darkness to embrace x I too found myself far more independent and my sexual libido suddenly grew when my kids grew up and moved out in my early 40's x Have always taken care of my body and health and never let my own self esteem or confidence falter as a mother while the kids grew up x

This is a good thing now as still look and feel attractive at 48 but finding that time on my hands plus the freedom, leaves me so frustrated sometimes as constantly horny, lol x I work/stay away sometimes and have enjoyed younger lovers as they seem to have the same sexual libido as me and so keen to please although sometimes not as experienced, but always eger and energetic unlike my partner and other guys my age x x x

It's great you never felt lost in motherhood. I didn't lose my confidence exactly, I think I was just too busy and too tired to even think about the "fun" stuff for a while. lol Have fun with your younger guys....seems lots of ladies here enjoy the pleasures of younger flesh.

I'm 41 now and my sex drive seems to be increasing as well. Also, my comfort with my body has really improved - I used to HATE being seen naked - even by my lovers, but now I'm happy to be twisted into allsorts of pretzel-like shapes with the lights on. The men seem to be sensing my increased confidence and libido as well as I tend to attract mainly men in their mid to late 20s these days. Also, when I was younger I was quite dominant and selfish sexually, today I'm much more open to being directed to leave my comfort zone, as well as being open to alot of experimentation which would have offended me when I was younger.

40+ is seeming pretty awesome to me.

You sound similar to me. I couldn't have said it better...."open to being directed to leave my comfort zone...." Yep, that.

My libido has increased since menopause. And it was pretty darned good prior to that!

I am so glad to hear this. I hope I follow in your heels.

 

[Sun Tan Guy]

Hi Lisa,

No darkness to embrace x I too found myself far more independent and my sexual libido suddenly grew when my kids grew up and moved out in my early 40's x Have always taken care of my body and health and never let my own self esteem or confidence falter as a mother while the kids grew up x

This is a good thing now as still look and feel attractive at 48 but finding that time on my hands plus the freedom, leaves me so frustrated sometimes as constantly horny, lol x I work/stay away sometimes and have enjoyed younger lovers as they seem to have the same sexual libido as me and so keen to please although sometimes not as experienced, but always eger and energetic unlike my partner and other guys my age x x x

Hmmmm wish you were here in the States!

 

[Sun Tan Guy]

I would like to hear from others, particularly other women, about their experiences with sex in their 40's and 50's. I am 47 and almost a year ago I became a new sexual being. It has grown and grown since then. I am not sure if it's hormonal, the physical relief of my kids getting older and me not being so exhausted all the time, or what.

Usually you hear that women my age have sex drives that are declining, but mine is the opposite. I'd love to hear from other ladies about how your body and mind and libido has changed as you've gotten older.

My wife lost complete interest at about 45 and hasn't gotten anything back....as I have gotten older mine opus growing more and more than ever!

 

[marriedpervs]

My wife lost complete interest at about 45 and hasn't gotten anything back....as I have gotten older mine opus growing more and more than ever!

If that is you in your avatar - tell your wife she is mad! I am on the way over to sexually ravage you, baby!!!!