Zucchini

[EmilyMiller]

That young blonde American singer who isn't Taylor Swift, right?

That’s the one!

Emily

 

[Kumquatqueen]

That’s the one!

Emily

Right. Who was Hannah Montana which was some kids show I never watched. TIL her dad was Achy Break guy. Who I cursed a lot during my first job, where there was radio on all the time and I had no other music where I was living. So 50% of the time it was him, Kriss Kross and Would I Lie to You... He's not yet forgiven...

 

[Djmac1031]

Im just waiting for "The Big Stretch" to come out in theatres...

In IMAX...

 

[Djmac1031]

Wow, I went to take a little nap and thus zucchini has already grown 5 times larger...

 

[EmilyMiller]

Wow, I went to take a little nap and thus zucchini has already grown 5 times larger...

Dare you to include that line in a story…

 

[Djmac1031]

Dare you to include that line in a story…

Jane And The Celery Stalk.

Jane discovers joy in the produce aisle when she finds her Magic Bean...

 

[Rob_Royale]

I can't leave you kids alone for a minute. I go to sleep after my night shift, to wake up and find you've pillaged the crisper drawer.

 

[Djmac1031]

I can't leave you kids alone for a minute. I go to sleep after my night shift, to wake up and find you've pillaged the crisper drawer.

They've definitely crisped my carrot...

 

[EmilyMiller]

They've definitely crisped my carrot...

That sounds painful, hun. You should seek medical attention.

Emily

 

[Djmac1031]

That sounds painful, hun. You should seek medical attention.

Emily

nah, it only hurts if I'm left with a case of blue berries...

 

[EmilyMiller]

I can't leave you kids alone for a minute. I go to sleep after my night shift, to wake up and find you've pillaged the crisper drawer.

I need better supervision, someone should speak to Laurel…

Emily

 

[Rustyoznail]

I've sort of been a Miley Cyrus fan for a while. Not so much her music, but her saucy style. She's fun, and just maybe there's a bit of Miley in some of my FCs. Taylor was cute 10 years ago.

You've heard Miley's latest song? (It seems to be on constant repeat at one of the three radio stations we get here). She more or less said she's now old... No more peeing on Porsches.

 

[Pabiporffor]

It's getting damp it's getting wet,
Gotta get me a fat courgette.
Spread my legs and up my skirt,
Fifteen inches gonna hurt.

Must surrender to the lust,
With vigour twist and thrust.
Groan and moan as it glides,
Churning up my insides.

Begin to quiver, start to ache,
Pussy quake, release a lake.
Had my joy, had my fun,
Now it's time to run.

Grannies tut and housewives stare,
Shoppers moan, but I don't care.
Masturbation's good for my health
Put the veggie back on the shelf.

 

[StillStunned]

Who I cursed a lot during my first job, where there was radio on all the time and I had no other music where I was living. So 50% of the time it was him, Kriss Kross and Would I Lie to You... He's not yet forgiven...

We share a trauma. One summer, a boring office job, and endless repeats of some of the worst songs in history.

I recall a story back in the days of paper, I think by Pat Califia, where two lesbians were stranded in a state where sex shops were illegal, so after some days end up in the produce section of Walmart discussing the merits of carrots vs cucumbers vs courgettes.

I’ve never been brave enough to pack anything when flying…

In response to both the above posts: I was in an undisclosed Spanish city last autumn and the wife and I encountered a vending machine that sold sex toys. For all your late-night "My random hook-up was a huge disappointment" or "Am I the only single person left on the planet?" needs.

And... I just thought of a story for the Summer Loving contest.

 

[StillStunned]

Also: who else thought that "Zucchini" was an Italian singer from the 1980s?

 

[Kumquatqueen]

Also: who else thought that "Zucchini" was an Italian singer from the 1980s?

Zucchero seemed way less suave and exotic once I learnt it was just Italian for sugar.

 

[Trionyx]

I’ve never been brave enough to pack anything when flying…

That’s why they invented electric toothbrushes. Not quite the same, I know, but still better than nothing. Unfortunately the newer ones tend to be slimmer and the vibrations aren’t as prominent.

 

[SimonDoom]

For the produce fans among you:

Wouldn't a cucumber be better? I think of zucchini as a bit rough. Cucumber is smoother. A carrot is pointier so it might go in easier, but perhaps be less satisfying. Certain squash are curved, which I suppose would be interesting. Corn cob for texture. And eggplant for the masochistic.

I'm asking for the sake of research, of course. Giving myself more story ideas, to be completed, oh, maybe 10 years from now at my current pace. "Polly Produce."

 

[ElectricBlue]

I'm asking for the sake of research, of course. Giving myself more story ideas, to be completed, oh, maybe 10 years from now at my current pace. "Polly Produce."

#669 set aside, especially