Rambling Rosie's Retreat

[RosewoodTulip]

I stand behind you 100% with this Rosie!

This person apparently likes to 'do' affection but doesn't seem so keen to 'do' respect...

He may be a nice guy, or he may be a dick. You'll never know because he decided the request was to other people, not him.

It's absolutely his loss here

Yeah maybe once upon a time I might have felt guilty and replied anyway.

There have been exceptions where I have replied to pm's from strangers. That was when I was new here and also during the July challenge.

I know I'm not the only person to have an inbox that should be salted and burned. I'm just so tired of managing other peoples feelings while ignoring my own so I thought if I wrote about it I'd be more determined to stick to my guns

 

[Saltfountain]

Yeah maybe once upon a time I might have felt guilty and replied anyway.

There have been exceptions where I have replied to pm's from strangers. That was when I was new here and also during the July challenge.

I know I'm not the only person to have an inbox that should be salted and burned. I'm just so tired of managing other peoples feelings while ignoring my own so I thought if I wrote about it I'd be more determined to stick to my guns

It's your choice if you want to bend the rules at any point. No one says you have to be consistent.

However, if someone wants to acknowledge that they're ignoring your wishes, then that's on them, not you.

Don't feel one iota of guilt here. You're not the one who did anything wrong.

 

[Cogan]

Hey everyone.
Earlier today I got this PM

"I know we haven't spoken on the threads but I just saw your post about affection and people making time for you, I like to do those things, so I wamted to say hi"

I've removed any info relating to the senders identity.

This was in response to a post I made yesterday on the What Are You A Sucker For thread.

At first sight there's no issue. It's polite and friendly. God knows I've received far worse. However I'm sharing it here anyway. Why?
On my profile I've made a fairly nice request that I only want pm's from people I've talked to in the threads. This person acknowledges that they have read my profile, seen my request and yet figured my boundaries surely mustn't apply to them.
They do.
This person might like to give affection and make time for people but they do not respect what I have asked for.

So I'm not going to reply to this person. I'm not going to reply to anyone who thinks what they want is more important than what I need.

If someone doesn't respect your requests they doesn't need your response either. I agree with @Saltfountain 100%!

Yeah maybe once upon a time I might have felt guilty and replied anyway.

There have been exceptions where I have replied to pm's from strangers. That was when I was new here and also during the July challenge.

I know I'm not the only person to have an inbox that should be salted and burned. I'm just so tired of managing other peoples feelings while ignoring my own so I thought if I wrote about it I'd be more determined to stick to my guns

You shouldn't have to ignore your feelings. You and how you feel comes first all the time or you can't be your self. And that's the most important of all.

 

[AngelicaS1780]

You have no obligation to respond to anything here. The "Leave Conversation" button is your friend. And then "Ignore" if needed.

 

[AngelicaS1780]

Hey everyone.
Earlier today I got this PM

"I know we haven't spoken on the threads but I just saw your post about affection and people making time for you, I like to do those things, so I wamted to say hi"

I've removed any info relating to the senders identity.

This was in response to a post I made yesterday on the What Are You A Sucker For thread.

At first sight there's no issue. It's polite and friendly. God knows I've received far worse. However I'm sharing it here anyway. Why?
On my profile I've made a fairly nice request that I only want pm's from people I've talked to in the threads. This person acknowledges that they have read my profile, seen my request and yet figured my boundaries surely mustn't apply to them.
They do.
This person might like to give affection and make time for people but they do not respect what I have asked for.

So I'm not going to reply to this person. I'm not going to reply to anyone who thinks what they want is more important than what I need.

Although, depending on my mood, I'm more likely to write back and say something along the lines of...

Well, since you read my profile and saw my request to not be pm'ed by people I have not previously interacted with, either you have an issue with reading comprehension or you just don't care to respect people's wishes. Either way, good luck with that.

 

[RosewoodTulip]

You shouldn't have to ignore your feelings. You and how you feel comes first all the time or you can't be your self. And that's the most important of all.

Thank you

 

[RosewoodTulip]

Although, depending on my mood, I'm more likely to write back and say something along the lines of...

Well, since you read my profile and saw my request to not be pm'ed by people I have not previously interacted with, either you have an issue with reading comprehension or you just don't care to respect people's wishes. Either way, good luck with that.

I have sent versions of that a few times and just had "well how can I get to know you if you won't talk to me" as a reply. Can't be bothered now

 

[AngelicaS1780]

I have sent versions of that a few times and just had "well how can I get to know you if you won't talk to me" as a reply. Can't be bothered now

Oh, it's just for my own snarky self-satisfaction and mild entertainment. Doesn't matter what they write back.

 

[Saltfountain]

I have sent versions of that a few times and just had "well how can I get to know you if you won't talk to me" as a reply. Can't be bothered now

The simple answer is talk to me publicly as opposed to privately

 

[RosewoodTulip]

The simple answer is talk to me publicly as opposed to privately

Nah by that point I think I've been more than fair. If they knew that in the first place there wouldn't be an issue

 

[AngelicaS1780]

The simple answer is talk to me publicly as opposed to privately

Also depending on my mood and schedule, I occasionally take the opportunity to also use it as a teachable moment... which I make clear to them. But that's usually in my reply. "Now, what you should have done is...". There is never a second reply from me.

 

[Saltfountain]

Nah by that point I think I've been more than fair. If they knew that in the first place there wouldn't be an issue

I didn't mean you needed to say that. Just answering their dumb question

 

[RosewoodTulip]

I didn't mean you needed to say that. Just answering their dumb question

Ah yes that makes more sense

 

[AngelicaS1780]

Sending you a hug, beautiful. I know it's annoying, frustrating, rude, etc.

 

[RosewoodTulip]

Also depending on my mood and schedule, I occasionally take the opportunity to also use it as a teachable moment... which I make clear to them. But that's usually in my reply. "Now, what you should have done is...". There is never a second reply from me.

I quite like that approach

 

[RosewoodTulip]

Sending you a hug, beautiful. I know it's annoying, frustrating, rude, etc.

Usually I just ignore and move on but it's been a rough few weeks. I'm running low on patience and energy and my field of fucks to give is fairly barren

 

[AngelicaS1780]

I quite like that approach

I wanted to give that both a love and a laugh.
I've gotta let a bit of the snark out from time to time.

 

[Cogan]

I have sent versions of that a few times and just had "well how can I get to know you if you won't talk to me" as a reply. Can't be bothered now

I'm sorry that you have to deal with asshats from my gender. It seems to be a lot of them around here. But don't let them get to you. Ignore them.

Usually I just ignore and move on but it's been a rough few weeks. I'm running low on patience and energy and my field of fucks to give is fairly barren

Sending big morning hugs!

 

[RosewoodTulip]

I'm sorry that you have to deal with asshats from my gender. It seems to be a lot of them around here. But don't let them get to you. Ignore them.

Sending big morning hugs!

There are a lot definitely but the majority of people here are genuinely really good people. Same with life outside of Lit. Most of the people I have met or will ever meet are good. The arseholes are gonna do what they do but I don't have to let them be my problem any more.

Yes big hugs all round I think!

 

[Saltfountain]

There are a lot definitely but the majority of people here are genuinely really good people. Same with life outside of Lit. Most of the people I have met or will ever meet are good. The arseholes are gonna do what they do but I don't have to let them be my problem any more.

Yes big hugs all round I think!

See, what you need to remember is arseholes are full of shit.

And the solution the turds is to flush them.

Be the great cistern of life

 

[RosewoodTulip]

See, what you need to remember is arseholes are full of shit.

And the solution the turds is to flush them.

Be the great cistern of life

That's the kind of positive thinking I can really support.
Be the toilet Rosie. Be the toilet.

 

[Saltfountain]

That's the kind of positive thinking I can really support.
Be the toilet Rosie. Be the toilet.

Yeah... I deliberately avoided that bit. I had you as the clean water ridding your world of the shit

 

[RosewoodTulip]

Yeah... I deliberately avoided that bit. I had you as the clean water ridding your world of the shit

That is a much nicer image I agree.
Be the water Rosie. Be the water.

Much better

 

[Saltfountain]

That is a much nicer image I agree.
Be the water Rosie. Be the water.

Much better

Much

 

[RosewoodTulip]

Evening all.

The longest month in the history of the world is almost over! Woo hoo!
Hoping everyone is ok.

So I wanted to talk about something rubbish and completely inconvenient, especially when wandering the old Lit halls.

What do you all do when your get up and go actually gets up and goes? When the river of joy runs low? When the lead in your pencil turns to string? When the libido is a libino?

Mine has been on the decline for a few weeks. Probably a combination of rubbish physical and mental health, seasonal affected disorder, and just general "meh"

I'm working on all of those things but progress is slow and I'm kinda losing motivation.

Do you have any good tips for getting your groove back?