Let's Talk About... Aging, Beauty, Body Image & Identity Crises 💀💀

[Wild_Honey_66]

I'm not the same girl I was five years ago, or even one year ago. Some of the changes I've been through have been really good, others I'm struggling with, and there are cans of worms on my shelf yet to be opened. I like where I am now, the work that I'm doing on myself, the discoveries I'm making, but it does get tiring, and there are so many questions still to answer.

Who am I?
What do I want to be when I grow up?
How do I fit in to my world, and how do I want to fit in - or not?
Where do I belong, and where are my people?
When will I feel like I have 'arrived'? Or at least feel that I've crossed over from 'you're freezing cold' to 'you're getting warmer!'?

I'm confident that I'm not having a mid-life crisis as much as simply another installment in the ongoing process of reevaluating my life, although some of the issues are particular to where I am in my life cycle.

So where are you? and how do you feel about it?
What are you currently working on? Where are you struggling, and where do you feel like you've been making progress?
What is your relationship to your body?
Do you see yourself as valuable, worthy and deserving of a rich, fulfilling life?
Are you mostly content with the person you've become and the life that you've created, or if not, what changes would you like to make?

Come and talk with us about who you are, and where you're going.
(And if I haven't touched on everything in the thread title, I'm sure we'll get around to it.)

 

[aussiegeekygal]

I grow more and more confident with my body with each day. There are a lot of things that frustrate me, but those are things that I can improve (I'm thinking about the reconstructive surgery I've got planned for later in the year).

So where are you? and how do you feel about it?
What are you currently working on? Where are you struggling, and where do you feel like you've been making progress?
I'm working on physical, emotional and spiritual fitness. I'm out of shape in all three and as I carve out a little more time for myself (an impossibility at times with very young kids) I am focusing on moving my body, allowing myself to go slow and finding time to be still.
A big part of this journey has been recovering from childbirth. I had no idea just how intense that could be. I've been an athlete and giving birth was still the most strenuous thing I've ever put my body through. #noregrets

What is your relationship to your body?
See my sig.
I enjoy my body. I try to use it every way I can.. I'm not afraid of it or what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument I'll ever own.


Do you see yourself as valuable, worthy and deserving of a rich, fulfilling life?
I do, but it takes a lot of work. Thankfully I was raised by a powerful force of a woman who taught me well. I do tend to put others ahead of myself and I'm working on taking back a little bit of my own attention. If I don't take care of myself, noone will.

Are you mostly content with the person you've become and the life that you've created, or if not, what changes would you like to make?
I'm probably the least content I've been in my adult life. I hate this season of life. I'm so unfulfilled and lonely. I'm stuck in suspended animation as the rest of the world slowly gets back to normal but I can't... It fucking hurts

 

[HoneyMeadows]

So where are you? and how do you feel about it?
What are you currently working on? Where are you struggling, and where do you feel like you've been making progress?
I am lost and in general I feel frustrated with myself. I'm struggling with my energy levels and also with sticking to any kind of routine at the moment with regards to diet and exercise. I have so many things I want to do and I don't know where to start...so I just sit, paralyzed, whilst everything goes to shit around me.

I'm making progress in easing up on myself physically. I can't do what I did 10 years ago and I'm listening to my body a lot more.

What is your relationship to your body?
I'm indifferent mostly. I don't care what shape/weight/size I am or end up but I know I need to be fitter than I am currently. I'm hoping that the fitness will encourage some kind of shape adjustment, but I've no idea to be honest.

I love my boobs.

Do you see yourself as valuable, worthy and deserving of a rich, fulfilling life?
No but that's something that's been ingrained from too young an age. I've been an inconvenience and a burden for so long that I believe it, even now.

I'm trying to take July off work completely but I'm questioning whether I deserve it (I do, I just don't believe it).

Are you mostly content with the person you've become and the life that you've created, or if not, what changes would you like to make?
I am not content. I just don't know where to start:

• Voluntary unemployment is on the horizon
• I have my house but I need to properly furnish it so it's mine
• I want to go visit my friends in far flung places and have the courage to just go!
• I want to learn a billion things all at once and also keep up with my other billion things on the go
• I don't want to feel so adrift and alone every day
• I would like to make a decision and not immediately think "...but what am I missing out on?"

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I am loving these meaty responses.

Also... indie!!!

 

[PlanetaryNebula]

So where are you? and how do you feel about it?
What are you currently working on? Where are you struggling, and where do you feel like you've been making progress?
I am lost and in general I feel frustrated with myself. I'm struggling with my energy levels and also with sticking to any kind of routine at the moment with regards to diet and exercise. I have so many things I want to do and I don't know where to start...so I just sit, paralyzed, whilst everything goes to shit around me.

I'm making progress in easing up on myself physically. I can't do what I did 10 years ago and I'm listening to my body a lot more.

What is your relationship to your body?
I'm indifferent mostly. I don't care what shape/weight/size I am or end up but I know I need to be fitter than I am currently. I'm hoping that the fitness will encourage some kind of shape adjustment, but I've no idea to be honest.

I love my boobs.

Do you see yourself as valuable, worthy and deserving of a rich, fulfilling life?
No but that's something that's been ingrained from too young an age. I've been an inconvenience and a burden for so long that I believe it, even now.

I'm trying to take July off work completely but I'm questioning whether I deserve it (I do, I just don't believe it).

Are you mostly content with the person you've become and the life that you've created, or if not, what changes would you like to make?
I am not content. I just don't know where to start:

• Voluntary unemployment is on the horizon
• I have my house but I need to properly furnish it so it's mine
• I want to go visit my friends in far flung places and have the courage to just go!
• I want to learn a billion things all at once and also keep up with my other billion things on the go
• I don't want to feel so adrift and alone every day
• I would like to make a decision and not immediately think "...but what am I missing out on?"

Why write my own post when a lot of what I’m going through, you presented perfectly.
Obviously our stories and problems are different but that first paragraph- lost frustrated, frozen… I hear ya!!! At least we may gain some support and encouragement realizing none of us are alone

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I've been wanting to come back to this thread, but I've been feeling stuck lately. I felt something shift yesterday that I think means I've turned the corner, so yay for forward movement.

I've done a lot of personal growth over the last couple of years that I feel good about. In March, I left a job that I loved and it's seemed like a backwards slide since then. But I can see now that it created the emotional turbulence that I needed in order to take a hard look at some areas that need attention, and I'm tremendously grateful for that.

I had an an epiphany yesterday that made a lot of what I've been struggling with make sense: I'm still hiding. I'm still making myself invisible.

The fuck??

Yes, yes I am.

How can that be? I've worked so hard to find myself, to uncover myself! Why would I do that to myself? Why would I work against my own best interests?

Fear, I guess. And long-ingrained habit.

Well that's just gonna have to stop.

I do recognize that the fact that I could see my self-sabotaging behavior for what it is, is progress in itself, so I'm encouraged by that.

At the job that I left in March, part of our work uniform included wearing a t-shirt that I found uncomfortable and unflattering. I hated it, and I couldn't wait to stop wearing it. I wanted to wear soft, pretty, feminine clothes and this shirt was none of those things. My new job has no uniform, and I can dress as I please, within reason, but I found myself wearing outfits that were plain but practical. I wore the same makeup every day, and the same silver hoops. It seemed logical, considering the sort of position I held. And yet, even though I now had the freedom to choose what I wore, I still felt like I couldn't wear what I wanted. I didn't yet understand that the thing holding me back was not the parameters of my job, but me.

I came across a gal on YouTube who talked a lot about how to dress elegantly, and at first I though, cool! I could use a shot in the arm. But the more I watched her, the more I realized two things:
1. I felt increasingly backed into a box that I didn't want to be in, and,
2. I already had classy, elegant dressing in the bag. The example of my tasteful, restrained step-mother and decades of practice had given me a rock solid foundation in dressing like a respectable, middle class teacher.

The thing is, I'm not my step-mother, wonderful as she is. And while having those wardrobe skills under my belt are unquestionably useful, by themselves, they give me a look that doesn't accurately reflect all of who I am. I already have enough tapes in my head telling me to watch my language, mind my manners, don't be too loud, never ever ever wear xyz because I'm over forty... you get the idea. I didn't need more of that.

What I need is someone telling me that it's okay to wear my skirt above the knee despite the fact that my legs are short and sturdy. What I need is someone telling me that I can rock my beautiful salt-and-pepper hair without having to change the colors of my clothes and makeup just because I'm 'older' (yes, that's a thing). What I need is someone telling me that I can dress up to go run errands, not because the occasion requires it, but simply because I like to dress up and look pretty!

But what I really needed was to realize that the person I needed to tell me all of those things, to give me permission, was me.

I get it now. I'm finding my balance and it feels amazing.

This morning at 2:00am, after growing my hair out for months, I cut the back of my hair up to the nape of my neck. I'm going back to the short, sassy, stacked bob that I love so much. Aaand, I've decided to get some chunky mauve highlights. MAUVE, people. And I'm getting my ears pierced again.

And I'm going to start changing up my eyeshadow colors, and wearing scarves in my hair, and stop saving my favorite big earrings for special occasions. And by golly, if people don't like me wearing my cats in glasses graphic tees from Walmart, they can just go fuck themselves. I won't look silly, or trashy, or like I'm trying too hard to look younger. I'll look fabulous! because I'll finally be dressing up my outside to match my sparkly, iridescent insides, instead of dressing down my insides to match my khaki, A-line outside.

I don't belong in this flat finish Navajo White turtle shell anymore. I never did. Somebody hand me the rose gold glitter, cause I'm about to fuck this shit up.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Look at you, Honey!

I love this for you

 

[Minax99]

I'm 45, two grown up kids, a grandmother , hubby #3, still need to work as money just gets tighter.
Exhausted lol

 

[Mika1215]

So where are you? and how do you feel about it?

Mostly, I like where I am, inside of me, but the way that my life is in general these days is not at all good. I am trapped in it, and I have little power over it, unless I'm willing to abandon all of my personal ethics, which at the end of the day, I'm not.

What are you currently working on? Where are you struggling, and where do you feel like you've been making progress?

I'm working on being ok in a situation that I loathe, and on trying not to let it eat up all of the good things. It's very hard. But on the whole, I'm doing better. I had a huge epiphany a few months ago, when I was about at the end of my rope, about the difference between not engaging with the problem and truly detaching from it, and since then, I've been a lot more peaceful. Not all the time, but most of it. I'm very proud of myself for that.

What is your relationship to your body?

The fact of the matter is that there will never be a moment in my life when I didn't wish that I was thinner and more in shape. I could be super thin and perfectly fit, and I'd still be saying that, and mostly, I'm ok with that. I don't beat myself up about it. Now is better than the middle of the pandemic, and if all goes well, things will continue to improve. It's ok. But I'm aging, and that's weird. No one tells you about this stuff. No one tells you what happens, and how it changes you, in both good ways and ways that are less comfortable. I'm working on it.

Do you see yourself as valuable, worthy and deserving of a rich, fulfilling life?

Absolutely. I'm just not sure that I'm going to get it. Although my life has been rich in so many ways.

Are you mostly content with the person you've become and the life that you've created, or if not, what changes would you like to make?

Person, yes, on the whole. I think that I've come out of an awful childhood and some really bad things with a sense of self and of balance, and I'm mostly pretty good with who I am. Peaceful. I always want to do more, always wish that I could change certain things about me. But largely I can view them with kindness.

Life...no. Not at all. There are parts of it that are all right, but the circumstances at the moment are really not ideal, and I don't know how long this will go on.

 

[Lord Pmann]

1. I’m mostly fine. I’ve got some things I’d like different. Some I can change. Some I can’t. I need some motivation for those I can change.

2. Due to a wanking injury, I’m not able to do my normal exercise routine. I definitely need to exercise more. But I don’t wanna run. Fuck that.

3. Mostly happy. I’m no Steve Buscemi, but I’m not hideous. I can only blame myself for the parts I can change, like having some extra weight.

4. Yeah. I deserve riches.

5. Yes and no. I’d love to say everything was perfect. Some things are great. Some are missing. Sometimes that thing is huge.

 

[alwaysaway]

So where are you? and how do you feel about it?
What are you currently working on?
I’ve made some major changes in my life over the last year. It’s been a rollercoaster; lots of ups and downs. I’m currently working on how to adjust to these changes and find a healthy balance so that no important areas in my life suffer.

Where are you struggling, and where do you feel like you've been making progress?
I struggle to prioritise myself. However, this is also where I am making progress. I’m learning that I can’t give from an empty cup, so I’m working on making time to fill my cup.

What is your relationship to your body?
I have a fairly healthy relationship with my body. I’ve been told that my confidence in how I look is refreshing. Overall, I am happy with how I look. I do feel like I was given a good deal. My fitness level, however, has reduced as I stopped prioritising myself and doing what I love. So now, I’ve recommenced running again, which I love, and started training for a long distance run in November - raising money for mental health!

Do you see yourself as valuable, worthy and deserving of a rich, fulfilling life?
I do. But I also don’t expect it to be handed to me. You have to work for what you want.

Are you mostly content with the person you've become and the life that you've created, or if not, what changes would you like to make?
I am mostly content with the person I am today. The life I have created has taken some turns I was not prepared for, nor did I imagine ever happening. One of the turns it has taken was a part of me making a change to begin living a life I deserve. The life I would love to live is, unfortunately, out of my control. But I make the effort to be grateful for what I do have.

 

[Cotswolds]

So where are you? and how do you feel about it?

Probably in the best place I've been in my life. Family life is great, career is flying (just been promoted again). Feel I've had to work myself really hard to get here, the even harder work is to maintain it.

What are you currently working on? Where are you struggling, and where do you feel like you've been making progress?

Working on letting go of stuff, ego mostly. Still battling with trying to stop worrying about what others think of me, it's none of my business. Also taking time to be more disciplined about routines and looking after my health, physically and mentally. Work, life balance is better than it's ever been.

What is your relationship to your body?

Excluding the last week (I'm away in Croatia on holiday/vacation) I've been looking after my body well. Might be in the best shape of my life over the last year. I've been doing lots of yoga which has maintained mind and body.

Do you see yourself as valuable, worthy and deserving of a rich, fulfilling life?

I hope so. I got out the corporate rat race, joined the ambulance service and enjoy helping others. Giving back is the most rewarding practice a human can experience IMHO. I live by a whole new set of primciples these days. Strong discipline, I hope, will help to be deserving of a fulfilling life.

Are you mostly content with the person you've become and the life that you've created, or if not, what changes would you like to make?

Mostly content, nothing is ever perfect, work will always be needed. But for the most part, I couldn't wish for a better life really.


Great thread by the way

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Working on letting go of stuff, ego mostly. Still battling with trying to stop worrying about what others think of me, it's none of my business. Also taking time to be more disciplined about routines and looking after my health, physically and mentally. Work, life balance is better than it's ever been.

That pesky ego! I'm constantly wrestling with mine.

I'm proud of you and the work you've done. That takes balls and I'm glad it's paid off.

 

[Cotswolds]

That pesky ego! I'm constantly wrestling with mine.

I'm proud of you and the work you've done. That takes balls and I'm glad it's paid off.

At the risk of sounding self centered and virtuous (honestly, it's not the aim) By simply fighting my ego, Ive gone from owning a business and treating people so awfully in the name of profit, to being a paramedic working in critical care; being a sick persons advocate during their recovery, or sadly, their death. The satisfaction disparity between the two careers is almost immeasurable.

The ego is an awful blight on our progress

 

[AlexBailey]

So where are you? and how do you feel about it?

My four kids are all out of the house and on their own and off to prosperous new pursuits - couldn't feel prouder. They all seem to "get it" at a much younger age than I did. I still feel like a lost teenager at times, though I'm in a settled relationship and have some resources.

My father's recent passing and my mother's advanced age are putting things in new perspective, and I think I'm doing pretty well for where I'm at, though I can't help but think how much better life would have been if I'd been raised by parents like my wife and myself. Lol.

What are you currently working on? Where are you struggling, and where do you feel like you've been making progress?

I've been busy with kids and growing my business for so many years, now I have some time to look around I see all of the yard and home maintenance that has been falling through the cracks but I'm feeling lazy about it. Bad adulting. I really should be investing more in the future, both financially and maintenance wise.

I'm learning to pace myself and not feel bad that it isn't all done, I just need to keep chipping away at it.

What is your relationship to your body?

I'm happy that I finally let the genie out of the bottle with my gender issues over the last several years. It was pent-up and repressed for so long... a source of resentment. There is a new dynamic but at least I'm not trying to hide it from myself - I'm bi / pansexual but I'm in a monogamous relationship. I'm constantly sexually frustrated and trying to grow-up and be okay with it. When I got in really good physical shape recently it was a mixed bag - When I was at my best I was feeling cocky and confident and was getting hit on like I did in my twenties, it was like having a high-performance sports car but having to stay under the speed limit all the time. I'm still in good shape, just more casual about it.

It fit the profile of a mid-life crisis, but it felt like a latent adolescence - an emotional rollercoaster ride but now a bit more settled within. I love my life, and I don't need to have all of my fantasies come true, I have plenty of love, fun, and adventure in my marriage and family. Really. I do. Honest. Really...

Do you see yourself as valuable, worthy and deserving of a rich, fulfilling life?
Are you mostly content with the person you've become and the life that you've created?

Mostly yes. I have some guilty feelings about other choices I could have made. I'm haunted by a few abortions I fathered in my younger years. The women were not on board to be parents yet I took the risk. I'm pro-choice but I don't excuse myself for being irresponsible. I'm a recovering Catholic but the guilt and judgement still follow me.

I think I've been a bad-ass parent, I stick to my other values of being kind and helpful to others, being good to the earth and our environment, appreciating art, creativity, kindness in others, I've been a good employer... Maybe that is the reward - to enjoy the present and appreciate the gifts bestowed upon me while not being a burden to others. What more do I really need?

What changes would you like to make?

I should have been kinder to myself and others. I beat myself up with self doubts and loathing, I sought validation through others, I guess I still do sometimes for the sake of what? Vanity? I should have realized that some of the sexual partners I had were every bit as fucked up as I was, and should have been more careful with bodies, minds, and spirits - both theirs and mine.

Still learning, still living, still loving.

 

[Lady2020]

Ageing isn't for the weak. There's never been a decade I haven't struggled with insecurities. Or trying to get men to open up and just say what's on their mind, although I can see why that can be something they don't want to do. Being vulnerable makes yourself open to someone using it in a negative way. You hit a certain age, and no matter what you do, your body won't show the results as it did when you were younger. My current concern is how to feel beautiful when I look in the mirror and see an aging body.

 

[drobert44]

Ageing isn't for the weak. There's never been a decade I haven't struggled with insecurities. Or trying to get men to open up and just say what's on their mind, although I can see why that can be something they don't want to do. Being vulnerable makes yourself open to someone using it in a negative way. You hit a certain age, and no matter what you do, your body won't show the results as it did when you were younger. My current concern is how to feel beautiful when I look in the mirror and see an aging body.

At 77, I just bike and lift.

 

[cascadiabound]

As usual Honey - you know how to bring the content... I will give it a whirl.


Who am I? a work in progress...life long learner. trying to remember to lighten up and not take myself so seriously.

What do I want to be when I grow up? Do I want to grow up? Frankly I was way too grown up before I left my tweens. Someday I want to somehow no longer be a parent to my own mother. And the "mothers" I found to take her place have all now passed on. When I grow up I want the load of grief to be lightened. When I grow up I want to remember to embrace the ability to revel in childlike wonder and a sense of play. Also... I want to inspire and teach something of what I have learned lo these too many decades.
How do I fit in to my world, and how do I want to fit in - or not? I have learned to care a heck of a lot less about what others think about me. I am idiosyncratic, pushy, opinionated, kinder than kind, weird and nerdy as fuck. I am grateful to have good friends who love me anyway. Though I worry that my tendency to isolate in my introvertedness and need to make and create independently interferes with my ability to truly nurture and attend to friendships. I worry that I may be too old to figure out a different way to be. Also... to the degree that I "fit in to my world" I feel inhibited about seriously considering relocating my household in a future life stage. Would I ever be able to make new friends in a new place?
Where do I belong, and where are my people? Hmmmm. depends. here I knew I belonged when I found "the Top Shelf" thread and later wandered into the BDSM forums. irl i find my tribe among idiosyncratic living history nerds, textile artists and primitive skills aficionados. My people are all total weirdos. YAY!
When will I feel like I have 'arrived'? Or at least feel that I've crossed over from 'you're freezing cold' to 'you're getting warmer!'? Menopause much? I keep going from freezing cold to too hot practically on the quarter hour. At this point, I figure I will have "arrived" when I no longer have to fling the covers off in the middle of the night a dozen times.

[I'm confident that I'm not having a mid-life crisis as much as simply another installment in the ongoing process of reevaluating my life, although some of the issues are particular to where I am in my life cycle.]

So where are you? and how do you feel about it? Mid life crisis? who says I am in my mid-life? I plan to live forever. lol. I agree with Honey that rather than midlife or whatever, being a work in progress, it is all about the next installment, the current chapter, the next book. I hope to constantly be re-evaluating where I am, who I am, what I want, where I want to go, the items on my bucket list for as long as I wander the earth.
What are you currently working on? I am working on envisioning what the next chapter looks like and when I should jump into the deep end of that pool. I constantly feel like I should be more productive, while at the same time, I continually am evaluating and managing healthy boundaries. Just because I could more than competently do something, does not mean that I should or must. Where are you struggling, and where do you feel like you've been making progress? Honestly, the past few years have seemed to me to be the most difficult of my life. I struggle to be content in my work. I struggle with finding a routine outside of work that both fosters my friendships and a fitness regimen that is enjoyable and sustainable. On the flip side, I am making progress in pursuing art and creativity and I am determined to continue to cultivate productivity in that realm in the coming years. I recently taught a class that was well received and it reminded me that 1) I am an excellent teacher and 2) that others are interested in what I know.
What is your relationship to your body? Frankly, I have generally loved my body, what it can do, what it enables me to do, how sturdy and serviceable my parts are. I am happier with my weight than I was 5 years ago, but not as happy as I was at the end of 2019. I just really really want to be more comfortable in my living history corset (lol). I love the silver strands in my hair. I don’t mind the smile wrinkles around my eyes and the slight softness middle age has brought.
Do you see yourself as valuable, worthy and deserving of a rich, fulfilling life? Yes. Definitely.
Are you mostly content with the person you've become and the life that you've created, or if not, what changes would you like to make? Mostly content yes. But contentment breeds apathy and I strive to never be apathetic in my own life, in my pursuits, in my hopes for the future.

thanks for prompting this examination.
cb

 

[Madmar]

I love this thread. One of the things my mind drifts to when I'm just having stream of consciousness conversations with myself in my head (I swear I don't have actual out loud conversations with myself. Okay, I'm lying about that. I totally do) is the checks and balances of my mindset on aging and what I can tell myself now since I can't go back and tell my 20-something self anything.

 

[Lady2020]

I feel I found there are some mature Lit gods hiding in plain site. Just one in particular.

 

[cascadiabound]

I feel I found there are some mature Lit gods hiding in plain site. Just one in particular.

they do exist.

 

[zipper01us]

So where are you? and how do you feel about it?
What are you currently working on? Where are you struggling, and where do you feel like you've been making progress?
I am lost and in general I feel frustrated with myself. I'm struggling with my energy levels and also with sticking to any kind of routine at the moment with regards to diet and exercise. I have so many things I want to do and I don't know where to start...so I just sit, paralyzed, whilst everything goes to shit around me.

I'm making progress in easing up on myself physically. I can't do what I did 10 years ago and I'm listening to my body a lot more.

What is your relationship to your body?
I'm indifferent mostly. I don't care what shape/weight/size I am or end up but I know I need to be fitter than I am currently. I'm hoping that the fitness will encourage some kind of shape adjustment, but I've no idea to be honest.

I love my boobs.

Do you see yourself as valuable, worthy and deserving of a rich, fulfilling life?
No but that's something that's been ingrained from too young an age. I've been an inconvenience and a burden for so long that I believe it, even now.

I'm trying to take July off work completely but I'm questioning whether I deserve it (I do, I just don't believe it).

Are you mostly content with the person you've become and the life that you've created, or if not, what changes would you like to make?
I am not content. I just don't know where to start:

• Voluntary unemployment is on the horizon
• I have my house but I need to properly furnish it so it's mine
• I want to go visit my friends in far flung places and have the courage to just go!
• I want to learn a billion things all at once and also keep up with my other billion things on the go
• I don't want to feel so adrift and alone every day
• I would like to make a decision and not immediately think "...but what am I missing out on?"

This is just one man’s stupid opinion but I think is just in a woman’s makeup to doubt their beauty and their body. I will go out on a limb here to say I feel most men ( me included) think all women are beautiful. The female body is a work of art and should be treated as such. Like the saying goes and I feel this should include the female body ( no two snowflakes are alike, but they are all beautiful). Please ease up on yourselves ladies and appreciate that body as I know I do. Short, tall, slim or plump it is beat damn it just like it is !

 

[HoneyMeadows]

This is just one man’s stupid opinion but I think is just in a woman’s makeup to doubt their beauty and their body. I will go out on a limb here to say I feel most men ( me included) think all women are beautiful. The female body is a work of art and should be treated as such. Like the saying goes and I feel this should include the female body ( no two snowflakes are alike, but they are all beautiful). Please ease up on yourselves ladies and appreciate that body as I know I do. Short, tall, slim or plump it is beat damn it just like it is !

I need to respectfully disagree. I am sure that there are more people out in the world who do believe that all people are beautiful but I'm not convinced it's in our nature to be self-conscious.

I strongly believe that it's in how girls are socialised from a very early age. I can only speak from my own experience but I was told very young that I "shouldn't show too much skin" and to "speak only when spoken to". Why were the adults who were responsible for my safe keeping telling me this? Who were they hanging around with?

That destroyed my self-confidence and then, when I had finally gotten my confidence up in my teens, I had that taken away by a jealous young man. So my university experience was awful and nowhere near as fun as it's supposed to be. Luckily I have regained that confidence now, but as a result I am physically not where I want to be. I want to be fitter. I don't care what shape I am, just strong to carry myself and my burdens (and open jars).

 

[zipper01us]

I need to respectfully disagree. I am sure that there are more people out in the world who do believe that all people are beautiful but I'm not convinced it's in our nature to be self-conscious.

I strongly believe that it's in how girls are socialised from a very early age. I can only speak from my own experience but I was told very young that I "shouldn't show too much skin" and to "speak only when spoken to". Why were the adults who were responsible for my safe keeping telling me this? Who were they hanging around with?

That destroyed my self-confidence and then, when I had finally gotten my confidence up in my teens, I had that taken away by a jealous young man. So my university experience was awful and nowhere near as fun as it's supposed to be. Luckily I have regained that confidence now, but as a result I am physically not where I want to be. I want to be fitter. I don't care what shape I am, just strong to carry myself and my burdens (and open jars).

I am sure this goes on in women’s lives and please let me say from the bottom my heart I am sorry that it does. Although I am a man and jeopardize my man card here. I know most all women are stronger than men and that’s why you pull yourselves through these devastating situations. Again sweetheart please never doubt yourself and the beautiful body you possess. Please from this point on have that fun you deserve !

 

[zipper01us]

I have approval from others.
I want my own approval.

Look in the mirror and see what we see don’t look for the flaws behold the beauty. It’s there shinning through. It’s you and it’s more than enough !