How do you write from an opposite gender perspective?

[EmilyMiller]

How do you write from an opposite gender perspective?​

I hope it’s not divulging to much to say that I’m currently [way too sporadically] beta reading for a guy who is writing female POV. We were having a related chat about it. For what it is worth, I thought he was doing a fine job of it.

My general view is men and women are both H. sapiens. We aren’t that different. There are obviously some physical difference to arousal and pleasure. But even then, from a developmental biology perspective, our different genitalia have common initial roots.

If you have empathy and imagination, you can write all sorts of people who are not you.

Em

 

[gunhilltrain]

There's still street walkers? They haven't heard of the internet and escort sites?

They seem to be making a comeback in New York, which I wouldn't have expected until recently. According to the article, if they are on the street, they will also usually be connected to a brothel that is inside a building. I guess "delivery service" means an "out-call," which means the john picks the location to go to? Like his own apartment, perhaps.

https://nypost.com/2023/07/29/nyc-neighborhood-overrun-by-broad-daylight-brothels/

 

[gunhilltrain]

Surprisingly, a lot of whores have been pimped out by husbands and boyfriends.

I guess I'm not surprised at all.

 

[gunhilltrain]

Brooklyn too. I don't see anything erotic about that room with the bed and curtains. It looks like the emergency room of a psych hospital.

https://nypost.com/2023/08/07/hookers-invade-new-york-the-scourge-is-even-worse-than-you-thought/

 

[Voboy]

I write people. Some are men, others are women. In terms of how they express themselves in my stories, there's not a huge gender difference.

I think if the people I write are interesting, the story is a success.

 

[MillieDynamite]

Makes no sense to me. I wouldn't make anyone I loved debase themselves that way. Prostitution isn't fun!

I guess I'm not surprised at all.

 

[gunhilltrain]

Makes no sense to me. I wouldn't make anyone I loved debase themselves that way. Prostitution isn't fun!

I'd agree: the two series I've written about prostitution (one is about the real-life Valerie Solaris) are downbeat. I've tried the best I could to get into the minds of the two women who were doing it. Some of it was based on what I'd say is plausible imagination..

Families: there are good ones, mediocre ones, bad ones. Perhaps anything is possible within them.

 

[Bramblethorn]

I approach characterisation at the individual level - how does this character experience the world, how do they respond to that? Gender is often part of that, because it affects how others will treat them and react to them. But the specifics vary greatly depending on the nuances of their situation; there's no one Man Mode or Woman Mode.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Women get dolled up for the people they are either with or to attract someone. I don't mind heels for a few hours. But after that, it's a real pain. Short dresses and skirts aren't an issue if it's warm. In cold weather, it's a big issue. Street walkers, even in winter, wear spiked heels, revealing tops, short skirts, and wear their coats open to show the goods. How woman acts and dress is relative to what they are doing or want to do.

Women dress to impress women, and undress to impress men. Allegedly.

 

[Bazzle]

Surprisingly, a lot of whores have been pimped out by husbands and boyfriends.

You see that in Reddit. A lot of the women sharing pictures are those taken by their partner/husband. The husband is running their Onlyfans.
It's a strange thing to quantify.
B

 

[JaxRhapsody]

18+ years ago, you can sign up on your phone and just about everyone has one.

There's sites like Skip the Games that have a disclaimer on every page under where the girl puts their add that states the 'provider' is only charging for time and companionship, anything else that happens is between two consensual adults so LE can't place an add there.

Some of those girls are legit, some are the desperate type who are doing it to be able to pay for that nights room, so its the same situation as the walkers, but the game is more modernized.

I see'em here and there. For a reason or anothet some stay brick and mortar... err... flesh and bone.

 

[StillStunned]

When I'm writing something that requires a "female" perspective (as opposed to a "person"), I imagine how my wife would be thinking. In The Rivals, the things that attract Avilia to Sligh are the things that my wife says she likes in me. The things that frustrate Avilia are the things that annoy my wife.

This is probably also very good for my marriage.

 

[JaxRhapsody]

I guess my characters are kinda well-rounded, I don't think I'm that bad writing women. Anybody can be any way, aside from certain unique things, we see variations of men and women all the time whether they be real or fake. We interact with both here. Just being writers alone should aid in seeing the other gender with an open mind. Genders just a small part in writing people as people.

 

[MillieDynamite]

We aren't so different, you and I, as you might think. This line or something very similar to it is used in books when two people are vastly different. Sometimes the response, "If not for the whole psychotic nature of you is removed, I suppose you might be right." The same might be said of the sexes, we eat, we breath, we might have sex, but while parts of our thinking and feeling my be similar, they are also vastly different. I'm not saying women are superior, not out loud, anyway. In fact some men process emotions the same as some women and some women process them same as many men. But in many ways, every human is some how unique. Our differences are as important to relationships as our similarities.

I guess my characters are kinda well-rounded, I don't think I'm that bad writing women. Anybody can be any way, aside from certain unique things, we see variations of men and women all the time whether they be real or fake. We interact with both here. Just being writers alone should aid in seeing the other gender with an open mind. Genders just a small part in writing people as people.

 

[BrightShinyGirl]

I just published my first story here with a male narrator. Unorthodox Protocol is about a female biochemist who tests a drug on herself that makes her go into heat. It's told by the male grad student who watches the whole thing unfold.

I tried telling it from Jane's viewpoint, but her surrender to raw instinct worked better when the narrator was describing it from outside. When I tried writing it from inside her head, the story was mostly about her feeling ashamed/scared/horny, instead of the of the animalistic fuck fest I wanted to write.

I think I did an okay job describing sex from a male perspective. I tried really hard to imagine what it must feel like to not only have a cock, but stick it inside someone . But to be honest, I don't think Mike is convincing as a dude in the non-sex scenes--I think he reads a bit like a woman with a stapled-on dick. I'm curious what actual guys think.

 

[TadOverdon]

Guys in my writing tend to be dumber and usually more physically aggressive than women. Other than that, I don't think about it.

Put another way, I don't think about it.

 

[RainyDayPen]

I've straight up asked my partner (who is male) to describe things to me in detail. I ask him to describe an orgasm from his perspective. An erection. The way vaginal sex feels to him. He's happy to assist, and when he is lost for the details that I need, I just ask more and more questions like I'm interviewing him.

When there's things my partner wouldn't understand, I read firsthand accounts from men online. In a recent chapter of my series I wrote about chastity devices. So I researched them, tried to watch videos of men wearing them, and read some articles about what it feels like and what things happen to a man in chastity.

So that's my process! For emotions and love and all that I think we're largely very similar.

 

[ElectricBlue]

But to be honest, I don't think Mike is convincing as a dude in the non-sex scenes--I think he reads a bit like a woman with a stapled-on dick. I'm curious what actual guys think.

Mike reads okay to me as a guy, with the proviso that I was far more interested in Jane. Her rutting sex was swift and filthy, and I loved the detail of the puddle of urine on the carpet.

Given that there weren't many non-sex scenes, I don't think a stapler was necessary.

 

[EroticCupcake]

He reads a bit like a woman with a stapled-on dick. I'm curious what actual guys think.

I think this is a reasonable description of men.

I write as though men and women experience the same range of emotions, and the only difference is how the outside world treats them (and their reaction to different treatment).

I'm going to assume this is correct, with the exception being threats of violence play differently between them. If the story isn't about that, then "woman with a stabled-on dick" seems good to me.

 

[JaxRhapsody]

I just published my first story here with a male narrator. Unorthodox Protocol is about a female biochemist who tests a drug on herself that makes her go into heat. It's told by the male grad student who watches the whole thing unfold.

I tried telling it from Jane's viewpoint, but her surrender to raw instinct worked better when the narrator was describing it from outside. When I tried writing it from inside her head, the story was mostly about her feeling ashamed/scared/horny, instead of the of the animalistic fuck fest I wanted to write.

I think I did an okay job describing sex from a male perspective. I tried really hard to imagine what it must feel like to not only have a cock, but stick it inside someone . But to be honest, I don't think Mike is convincing as a dude in the non-sex scenes--I think he reads a bit like a woman with a stapled-on dick. I'm curious what actual guys think.

I don't see a problem with Mike, seems like an erotica every man. Jane not being the type to get me going, the story did- five stars. Oh and it got me thinking about one of the next stories I intend to write.

 

[AchtungNight]

I just published my first story here with a male narrator. Unorthodox Protocol is about a female biochemist who tests a drug on herself that makes her go into heat. It's told by the male grad student who watches the whole thing unfold.

I tried telling it from Jane's viewpoint, but her surrender to raw instinct worked better when the narrator was describing it from outside. When I tried writing it from inside her head, the story was mostly about her feeling ashamed/scared/horny, instead of the of the animalistic fuck fest I wanted to write.

I think I did an okay job describing sex from a male perspective. I tried really hard to imagine what it must feel like to not only have a cock, but stick it inside someone . But to be honest, I don't think Mike is convincing as a dude in the non-sex scenes--I think he reads a bit like a woman with a stapled-on dick. I'm curious what actual guys think.

I connected well with the characters. My comments on the story say more.

 

[Bamagan]

I think I did an okay job describing sex from a male perspective. I tried really hard to imagine what it must feel like to not only have a cock, but stick it inside someone . But to be honest, I don't think Mike is convincing as a dude in the non-sex scenes--I think he reads a bit like a woman with a stapled-on dick. I'm curious what actual guys think.

I'm not sure where you're drawing the line for what constitutes an 'actual' guy, but I didn't see anything about Mike that made him seem unconvincing to me. I suppose some people might think that he should have been more aggressive under the influence of a drug that causes estrus responses, but nothing you wrote made it seem like their personalities were altered outside of their sex drives. Him trying to fall into old patterns of behavior to prop up the familiar hierarchy between them following an unprecedented event seems entirely credible.

 

[MadeleineSinha]

I think my male characters are less well rounded than my female characters, and my descriptions of male character sex are more visual whereas my female sex is more about feeling and feelings.

Of course, I may be deluding myself and my males are all cyphers and my females are all wish fulfilment fantasies of how I would like to be perceived.

 

[JusticeGrey]

For the only story I've written so far from the female perspective, I tried to actually take into consideration things women might want from a lover, be it security, adventure/intrigue, consideration, physical pleasure, etc. What I think really helped was word choice. I wrote the story without using any vulgar language, such as "cock" and "fuck". Not that women don't use those words (my wife says cunt far more than I ever would), but because I felt it helped give the story a tone that contrasted with my usual style.

 

[Rollinbones]

I’ve met a lot of people in my little go around. Some were female. Some weren’t. I tell stories. Their stories. I’ve never owned a Porsche but I’ve known people who have and I could tell you their stories so maybe if I’ve never owned a penis I could still tell you a story about someone who had.