catalina_francisco
Happily insatiable always
- Joined
- Jul 29, 2002
- Posts
- 18,730
Part of me being a good human being, being a good employee, being a good daughter, being a good wife, being a good mom...has to do with doing incredibly unpleasant things because they need to be done, without a medal, and occasionally getting kicked around for it. "No good deed goes unpunished."
I think if I can remember that I'm doing it because I'm strong, and not because I'm weak, that I'm compensating for someone else's weakness by being polite and doing the hard stuff (like...if an animal makes a mess, a baby messes a diaper - I clean it up - everyone else is busy complaining and gagging) without complaint, I get stronger every day. The world's a better place. I'm doing it for the world, not for the complaining person. I'm doing it, ultimately, for me.
I don't think the person or creature demeaning a valuable act or making the mess is the strong one. The person able to handle the unpleasant task of going about handling the drama of the event is breaking a cycle of judgment and anger and helplessness. If I can take abuse and anger and not throw it back, but deal with it through healing and compassion, I've lived up to who I want to be. To some folks that actually does qualify me as a masochist. To me, that's just who I want to be, who I aspire to be.
It's an inverted value system, but one that I think if everyone behaved the way I did - the world would be a better place. I'm living an example of tolerance and compassion. Forgiveness is a huge part of my practice, and any faith I might represent.
Lots of people would term that conditioning, victim, or weak. That I should stand up more for myself. I should demand more for myself. I should be this or that or the other. I should be more like them, selfish and demanding and myopic.
There are plenty of people standing up for themselves and complaining in the world. I'll stand up when I need to, but most of the time, I'm just going to do what I think is right, what's compassionate, what's understanding, and not fuss about it.
There are messy diapers and messes to clean up, cooking to be done, injuries to be attended, the bodies of the dead to wash. I don't consider it humiliating or demeaning or anything but doing what needs to be done. Only because it needs to be done, therefore that's why I do it. No amount of complaining or feeling superior makes a single dirty diaper go away.
No amount of objectifying, analyzing or treating me according to any other world view, will change that.
Excellent post and philosophy.
Catalina