How do you help someone get over being abused

[someplace]

Men victims of domestic violence by women

Last night I searched the web for what I thought would be a small statistic on battered men versus battered women. I ended up spending over an hour reading and being re-educated. The statistic I thought I sought is a myth. The truth is that domestic violence is inflicted on the sexes in NEARLY EQUAL PROPORTIONS. There are many many places to find information, some of which are more scholarly and dry than others. Here is an excellent resource for all involved:
menweb resource page for battered men

I asked someone this morning why we couldn't all treat each other with more respect and dignity? Peaceful blessings to you all. And THANKS Gil for starting this and to everyone else for sharing.

 

[Native Alien]

Someplace has a point here. the big difference is that alot of men won't talk about the abuse that they have suffered. They feel that it isn't "macho or manly" . I say bull crap. Abuse is abuse no matter who the person is that suffers.

 

[kikmosa]

Thanks LB that is high praize comming from you but I'm sure KW,Ukin or Don would havedone exactly the same as I did.

.........................................

PLEASE IF YOU FIND A SITE WHERE PEOPLE CAN FIND HELP PLEASE POST IT.

I'm sure that KW, Ukin or Don would have too. But your the one that saw a problem and cared enough to find out what and why and then do something to help. There will always be a special place in my heart for you.

 

[Don K Dyck]

Well Done Gil

I'm sure that KW, Ukin or Don would have too. But your the one that saw a problem and cared enough to find out what and why and then do something to help. There will always be a special place in my heart for you.

Hi Kiki, You're correct of course . . . Gil deservedly should get all the kudos because he made the effort to ACTUALLY DO IT!! How's the writing going?

 

[kikmosa]

Re: Well Done Gil

Hi Kiki, You're correct of course . . . Gil deservedly should get all the kudos because he made the effort to ACTUALLY DO IT!! How's the writing going?

I've got one written, I just need to type it and check the spelling. Just having a hard time starting. Not one of my better days.

 

[Don K Dyck]

Re: Re: Well Done Gil

I've got one written, I just need to type it and check the spelling. Just having a hard time starting. Not one of my better days.

heheheh . . . my old friend, Mental Block, has moved houses , has he??? . . . heheheh . . . My solution to that problem is to just write and let it pull itself into place either as I write, or go back and edit as required. Still learning your skill of write a single draft . . . heheheh

 

[kikmosa]

Re: Re: Re: Well Done Gil

heheheh . . . my old friend, Mental Block, has moved houses , has he??? . . . heheheh . . . My solution to that problem is to just write and let it pull itself into place either as I write, or go back and edit as required. Still learning your skill of write a single draft . . . heheheh

It's not writing it that's the problem. I just can't seem to do anything. I start something and end up just sitting and staring at the screen. Can't seem to focus. So tired.

 

[Native Alien]

kikmosa that happens to me all time and don, you just take it right back to your house...midterms are coming and i don't need writer's block to have to deal with on top of everything else...

 

[Don K Dyck]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Well Done Gil

It's not writing it that's the problem. I just can't seem to do anything. I start something and end up just sitting and staring at the screen. Can't seem to focus. So tired.

Do you think that your body may be saying "Please can I have some sleep now? I've had a rugged few days and I really need to re-charge the batteries for a few hours." Just go lay on the bed and close your eyes, let Mother Nature help . . . she's a good healer . . . uses time in liberal quantities . . . the Lit family will still be here when you wake . . .

There are new rules now . . . You have to look after yourself FIRST . . . because you are a valuable and important person here on Lit, and we want you getting well . . . and happy . . . Go get some sleep . . . please . . . be kind to yourself . . . please . . . . . . you are worth it.

 

[Don K Dyck]

Send Elsewhere . . .

kikmosa that happens to me all time and don, you just take it right back to your house...midterms are coming and i don't need writer's block to have to deal with on top of everything else...

Aw, shucks Alien . . . I thought I had got rid of him there for a while . . .

 

[kikmosa]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Well Done Gil

Do you think that your body may be saying "Please can I have some sleep now? I've had a rugged few days and I really need to re-charge the batteries for a few hours." Just go lay on the bed and close your eyes, let Mother Nature help . . . she's a good healer . . . uses time in liberal quantities . . . the Lit family will still be here when you wake . . .

There are new rules now . . . You have to look after yourself FIRST . . . because you are a valuable and important person here on Lit, and we want you getting well . . . and happy . . . Go get some sleep . . . please . . . be kind to yourself . . . please . . . . . . you are worth it.

Want to sleep, oh God, how I want to sleep. But everytime I close my eyes I'm back there again. Memories to close to the surface. Can't shut them out long enough to sleep.

 

[Arden]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Well Done Gil

Want to sleep, oh God, how I want to sleep. But everytime I close my eyes I'm back there again. Memories to close to the surface. Can't shut them out long enough to sleep.

Kiki,

Try visiting this thread, and add every name you can think of, OK?

http://www.literotica.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=119607

This will take some time, and help you think of other things.

Huggggss, Kiki!

 

[Don K Dyck]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Well Done Gil

Want to sleep, oh God, how I want to sleep. But everytime I close my eyes I'm back there again. Memories to close to the surface. Can't shut them out long enough to sleep.

Hi Kiki, but you are NOT back there . . . you are safe . . . free . . . away . . . you have to alllow yourself to believe your good fortune . . . you must accept that you continue to progress . . . yes, you are safe . . . you CAN sleep without fear . . . you can start now, today . . . just close your eyes and tell the bogey dreams that you have changed channels to the outdoor camping programme . . . a broad panorama across a deep blue lake . . . the swish of the wind blowing softly in your hair . . . the scent of the forest, wet from last night's rain . . . birds chirpping and squarking, living thier lives in simple luxury . . . white powder puff clouds drifting lazily across an azure blue sky . . . going nowhere in a hurry . . . life living at the natural pace . . . restful . . . peaceful . . . secure . . . zzzzzz . . .

 

[Arden]

Another thread that may help...
It's called "What Are You Thankful For?"

There is some outstanding reading inside, Kiki... there are so many things we can find to be thankful for...

http://www.literotica.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=103232

Keep busy until you're ready to drift off to sleep. You're going to be fine... and think of evryone here that cares...



Arden

 

[Don K Dyck]

Real life Intrudes . . .

Hi Kiki, real life is intruding and I have to gomout for a while . . . I will catch up with you later this afternoon my time, about five hours, after your little nap . . .

 

[kikmosa]

Re: Real life Intrudes . . .

Hi Kiki, real life is intruding and I have to gomout for a while . . . I will catch up with you later this afternoon my time, about five hours, after your little nap . . .

I give up. Need to sleep. Gonna take a pill and go to bed. God I hate taking those pills. Have to be at work at 7 in the morning though so I'm gonna have to. It's already Midnight here.

(((Hugs))) to Gil and Don.

I hope you ok Gil. I missed you tonight.

 

[Native Alien]

Good morning to all and Kikmosa if you need just pm. We need to send that writer's block right back to Don and let him deal with it.

 

[MsTerious]

Kiki, I'm so sorry that you're having such a difficult time. I wish I had some magic words for you, but all I can say is what everyone else is saying. I'm here if you ever need me.

Gil, please talk to me.

 

[MsTerious]

Hey folks, I just got word from fellow literoticans that Gil has been hospitalized. He apparently overdid it and wore himself out. So please join me in praying for him today. He should be back Tuesday aussie time, which should be sometime tonight. There's more info in the aussie thread.

 

[Ladybird]

Good morning fellow survivors... how are you all today?

I've sent a special Guardian Angel to watch over us all, and to bad memories away.

 

[S.Daedalus]

I care.

This is my first post and I'd like to start it off by thanking GIL and hoping and praying that he's doing ok.

I am speechless for the most part. After reading everything on this thread it brought tears to my eyes. All I can say is that it pains me to hear of these stories, but on the flip side I am over joyed to hear that most outcomes have been a miraculous rediscovery of ones self and that is truly beautiful.

I have a tough tough time dealing with any sort of abuse against woman. I can't watch it in movies and can't hear about it on the news and I could barely stomach reading it. I will not watch or look at pornography in fear of what the woman MAY POSSIBILY be going threw (This is why I love lit so much)! But I try to keep myself aware of such beasts so that my ignorance does not become too astute!

I am posting to say that there are men out there that care. There are men out there that love and there are men out there who are good. And I like to think of myself as one of them.

I have only ever been in two relationships in my life and I’m in my mid twenties. The first was my high school sweet heart and we dated for 7 years. I was faithful to her threw out the whole relationship. After the time had come to leave that relationship I met, what I thought, was the love of my life. She came from an abused background and I did everything in my power to help her get threw it. I will obviously not go into details because it is not my place. But I tried as hard as I could. I loved as much as I could and I never LIED, CHEATED or ABUSED HER in ANY WAY, both mentally or physical, because no MAN WOMAN OR CHILD should ever be abused!!!

So I guess I am posting this post to hopefully tell any woman that may read this that men do exist who are caring and loving. Don't be in a rush to let your heart go, but take your time and hopefully when the moment is truly right you will be able to release yourself on a man or woman who is truly there for you mind body and soul.

Take care,
My love and prayers go out to you all
- Stephen Daedalus

 

[Native Alien]

Don't be in a rush to let your heart go, but take your time and hopefully when the moment is truly right you will be able to release yourself on a man or woman who is truly there for you mind body and soul.

while i agree with most of what you said, the one thing is that most abusers hide very well who and what they are...i am not being gender specific here because i have heard men say the same thing about women who abuse as well...

i know women and men who have dated a person for years and still ended up with abuser and have no clue as to how they got there. My solution is really simple.

ask for references, if they refuse, then don't let it go any farther.

 

[MsTerious]

Good morning everyone. I hope that you're well rested and ready to face this freezing day. Well, it's freezing where I am, at least. Please continue to keep Gil in your prayers.

 

[Monazwx]

Something's wrong with Gil?

He's in my thoughts and prayers.
Hope to hear some news soon.

*keeping fingers crossed*

 

[MsTerious]

Yes Mona, he overdid it and wore himself out. He was admitted the other day (confusing when Australia is a day ahead). There is more info in the Aussie thread.