How annoying is first-person present tense?

[ShelbyDawn57]

You rarely see it in stories here. Most of what people think is "second person" is actually first person where an "I" narrates the story but addresses a "you." That's not second person. Second person POV is when the point of view of the narrative is in the second person.

E.g.,

"You like it when I spank you. I can tell it makes you feel good." This is first person POV. "I" is telling the story from "I"'s point of view, addressing "you."

"You like it when she spanks you. You feel good when she does it." This is second person POV. The point of view of the story is from "you."

Got that. the phrase we're working with is kind of in a gray area. I guess if we quote everything after the comma and took out the 'But' in the last sentence, it would be closer. Can still be read either way.

 

[StillStunned]

Did someone say 2P POV?

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

Did someone say 2P POV?

You try to be subtle. You can't help it, though. Your inner ego refuses to be silenced. Knowing your crime full well, and to the disdain of everyone around you, you once again force your heresy upon the masses.

 

[StillStunned]

You try to be subtle. You can't help it, though. Your inner ego refuses to be silenced. Knowing your crime full well, and to the disdain of everyone around you, you once again force your heresy upon the masses.

Oh, I never try to be subtle!

 

[Imstillfun]

I prefer 1st person past tense. I get totally confused by second person present tense.

 

[StillStunned]

I prefer 1st person past tense. I get totally confused by second person present tense.

There's a use for first-person present, just like there's a use for second person. It's just that they're usually not the best fit for the story. I've experimented with both, and that's probably what they'll remain for me: experiments. I think the stories came out well, even though they're my two lowest-rated works.

 

[StillStunned]

Second person is an anomaly, and when combined with the present tense, it becomes an abomination. Telling things as they happen is counterintuitive.

This seems a bit strong. "Abomination"? Sure, it's tricky, and should be used sparingly, but it *can* work. It's no more an abomination that stream-of-consciousness, or stories in the form of a diary or an exchange of letters. Sometimes it's the best choice for the story you want to tell.

And how is present tense counterintuitive? Have you never told someone about an experience in the present tense? "So I get to work today, and I head for the coffee machine like I always do. Some git's hogging the machine because he's trying to get his frappuccino just right. I tell him to try Starbucks next time, and he looks at me like I'm a maggot. Turns out he's my new boss."

 

[SimonDoom]

It's not as annoying as second person POV future perfect tense.

"You will have lusted after her for months by the time you will have finally taken her back to your house. She will have worn her shortest dress, and you will have spent the entire night on your date admiring her legs and wondering when you will have the first opportunity to peel the dress off her lithe body. 'Finally,' you will have thought, 'I have what I want.'"

 

[samhasstories]

It's not as annoying as second person POV future perfect tense.

"You will have lusted after her for months by the time you will have finally taken her back to your house. She will have worn her shortest dress, and you will have spent the entire night on your date admiring her legs and wondering when you will have the first opportunity to peel the dress off her lithe body. 'Finally,' you will have thought, 'I have what I want.'"

New challenge? @StillStunned, I'm looking at you.

 

[StillStunned]

New challenge? @StillStunned, I'm looking at you.

You know what, I was reading it and thinking to myself, "I could make this work."

I mean, it's not like my credit rating is linked to my average Lit score, so what the hell?

 

[Bramblethorn]

First person, past tense is the most natural and ancient form of storytelling, dating back to the time when humans shared experiences around campfires in caves tens of thousands of years ago.
...
Third person, past tense is a later and more elaborate storytelling technique that allows for a broader eagle-eye view of events and is essential for sagas or multi-character plots that require objectivity. However, it does not and will never replace the first person POV.

Are these "most ancient"/"tens of thousands of years ago"/"later" assertions based in research, or are they just speculation? If the former, I'd be interested in hearing how this kind of thing could be established.

If someone writes an autobiography, it would be odd not to write it in the first person. By extension, any tale that focuses on one character, their thoughts, feelings, and how they see the world should be in the first person.

"By extension" is doing a lot of work there. One could equally argue: "If somebody writes a biography of another person, it would be extremely odd not to write it in the third person. By extension, any tale that focuses on a character who is not the author should be in third person."

I'm fond of first-person narration. It's my default choice for Literotica. But there are plenty of stories which benefit from being written in third person close. In particular, first-person past-tense narration tells us things about who the narrator is at the end of the story, and that's not always desirable. Take the opening of "A Christmas Carol":

Oh! But he was a tight-fisted hand at the grindstone, Scrooge! a squeezing, wrenching, grasping, scraping, clutching, covetous, old sinner! Hard and sharp as flint, from which no steel had ever struck out generous fire; secret, and self-contained, and solitary as an oyster. The cold within him froze his old features, nipped his pointed nose, shrivelled his cheek, stiffened his gait; made his eyes red, his thin lips blue; and spoke out shrewdly in his grating voice. A frosty rime was on his head, and on his eyebrows, and his wiry chin. He carried his own low temperature always about with him; he iced his office in the dog-days; and didn’t thaw it one degree at Christmas.

At the beginning of the story, Scrooge doesn't understand those things about himself. Will he see the error of his ways? Will he be able to redeem himself in time? Or will he die miserable, alone, and unmissed? Those questions are part of the tension of the story.

If Dickens had made Scrooge the narrator, he'd have telegraphed the ending right away. We'd know instantly that Scrooge had survived the story and had transformed himself to somebody capable of moving beyond that miserliness and misery. It would've been a much weaker story.

True, it has its limitations, but it also has advantages such as authenticity and intimacy, creating a stronger emotional bond with the reader. A skilled writer will find various creative ways to overcome its limitations.

"Authenticity" is in the eye of the beholder. Not very long ago, we had somebody else asserting here that first-person narratives felt less authentic than third person (not sure if "authentic" was the word they used, but something along those lines), because they very rarely addressed the question of why the protagonist happened to be narrating their life experiences to somebody who might not even exist in their universe. I can't say I was able to relate to that feeling, but apparently at least one person feels that way.

I mostly agree on "intimacy", but that's not always the desired outcome. Sometimes the author wants to keep the reader a little more detached from the protagonist - for instance, if the author wants to explore the flaws of a character who doesn't understand those flaws, or if something awful's going to happen to them.

 

[Bramblethorn]

It's not as annoying as second person POV future perfect tense.

You know what, I was reading it and thinking to myself, "I could make this work."

You will make it work.

 

[SimonDoom]

First person, past tense is the most natural and ancient form of storytelling, dating back to the time when humans shared experiences around campfires in caves tens of thousands of years ago.

Second person is an anomaly, and when combined with the present tense, it becomes an abomination. Telling things as they happen is counterintuitive.

Third person, past tense is a later and more elaborate storytelling technique that allows for a broader eagle-eye view of events and is essential for sagas or multi-character plots that require objectivity. However, it does not and will never replace the first person POV.

If someone writes an autobiography, it would be odd not to write it in the first person. By extension, any tale that focuses on one character, their thoughts, feelings, and how they see the world should be in the first person. True, it has its limitations, but it also has advantages such as authenticity and intimacy, creating a stronger emotional bond with the reader. A skilled writer will find various creative ways to overcome its limitations.

The problem with making generalizations like these is that are far too many successful contrary examples that disprove them. There are many, many examples of successful novels that focus on one person's point of view yet are written in the third person. I don't think one can fairly say that all of them would have been better in the first person. Many suspense and detective novels, for example, are written in this way, where we see things only from the point of view of the detective, but in the third person. In many ways it's a better device for a suspense story, because we are less certain about what will happen to the character if the story is told in third person than if the story is told in the first person, where the implication is that the main character gets through the story alive.

 

[KeithD]

As long as I don't find the use of voice intrusive in the specific read I'm doing, I have no trouble with first person, present tense.

 

[MillieDynamite]

You open a book and read the first line, "You open the book and read the first line," it says. You look out the window, "What the fuck," you say, turn and read the second line. "You look out the window, "What the fuck." Man, you think, this is repetitive. Turning your attention back to the book, you see it happened and again, slam the book shut and scream, "I hate second person."

 

[StillStunned]

You open a book and read the first line, "You open the book and read the first line," it says. You look out the window, "What the fuck," you say, turn and read the second line. "You look out the window, "What the fuck." Man, you think, this is repetitive. Turning your attention back to the book, you see it happened and again, slam the book shut and scream, "I hate second person."

Some years ago, I got the latest novel by one of my favourite authors at the time. I sat down and started reading. "It was a little after eight on a Wednesday evening, and [main character] was sitting on the couch playing video games." Apart from the fact that I was reading, that was exactly what was happening. The main character's name was even my own.

In fact, the whole premise of the book - a man moves to a new town to be with his girlfriend, but he struggles to make friends in that town because he's self-employed never meets new people - that was exactly what was happening in my life at the time.

It was eerie, to say the least.

 

[lavendersilk]

Some years ago, I got the latest novel by one of my favourite authors at the time. I sat down and started reading. "It was a little after eight on a Wednesday evening, and [main character] was sitting on the couch playing video games." Apart from the fact that I was reading, that was exactly what was happening. The main character's name was even my own.

In fact, the whole premise of the book - a man moves to a new town to be with his girlfriend, but he struggles to make friends in that town because he's self-employed never meets new people - that was exactly what was happening in my life at the time.

It was eerie, to say the least.

I love it when that happens. Sucks me right in. I don't actively seek out stories that are similar to my personal circumstances, but when it happens it makes me feel seen.

 

[MillieDynamite]

Sounds like the movie with Will Ferrell hearing the story of life being written while he was living it.

 

[BobbyLaker]

How annoying is first-person present tense?​

Heaven help my first foray into 1st PP - currently pending...

 

[StillStunned]

I love it when that happens. Sucks me right in. I don't actively seek out stories that are similar to my personal circumstances, but when it happens it makes me feel seen.

For a while, the author's books paralleled my life. He was a couple of years older than me, so by the time each book was released the character would be at the point where I was in life. Then he started writing about people with kids and other life issues that I didn't identify with.

 

[lavendersilk]

Sounds like the movie with Will Ferrell hearing the story of life being written while he was living it.

I'm not completely sure... was it, "Stranger Than Fiction"?

 

[MillieDynamite]

Yes, it was. Thank you, that was driving me insane.

I'm not completely sure... was it, "Stranger Than Fiction"?

 

[theWollstonecraftWoman]

Yes, it was. Thank you, that was driving me insane.

Not all that far of a drive, sweetie.

 

[feverdreamnine]

It’s the present tense that throws me off. I understand how if it’s done effectively, it can be more immersive, but it usually sounds so strange it does the opposite. I think it seems off-putting because no one, while actually having sex of some kind, is likely to be narrating the experience to anyone. In past tense, it can sound like a natural retelling of a personal experience.

I enjoy either first or third person, but for sex stories, I prefer, and always write in, first person. It seems more real to life. We can only really know our own experience of something, even if we can ask or infer or guess others’ experiences. Especially in describing all the events leading up to some sort of sex, the flirting and romance and plotting, it feels more natural to only know the narrator’s thoughts and desires, and to be a little unsure of what’s going on inside the other characters’ heads, maybe gradually learning more and more as the story goes on.

 

[samhasstories]

You open a book and read the first line, "You open the book and read the first line," it says. You look out the window, "What the fuck," you say, turn and read the second line. "You look out the window, "What the fuck." Man, you think, this is repetitive. Turning your attention back to the book, you see it happened and again, slam the book shut and scream, "I hate second person."

This is basically "If on a Winter's Night a Traveler." Which is brilliant, if you're into that sort of thing.